What would you do?

[trilerian]

This is more pro shop etiquette, not really sure where this belongs.

 

I’ve been stewing over this since this happened…

 

Last Friday I went out after work to play.  I have a season pass at the course I went to, and I play at least 5 days a week.  I generally do not make a tee time because I don’t get there until 5:45-6pm.  There are leagues most days and normally the person in the pro shop will send me off either 1 or 10 depending on where the leagues are.  Fridays though don’t have a league and generally are not that busy.  However, the lady who only works on Fridays doesn’t have an imagination and only sends people out on 1.  So, I get there, and she looks for a tee time for me.  She says I can go after a twosome that just walked out who had to go get their clubs and put them on their cart.  I say fine.  I go down to the first tee and wait for the twosome to get down there.  When we were in the pro shop there was a single going off that I had hoped she would pair me with, but whatever.  I am waiting for this group and now the hole is empty, I could definitely tee off and the twosome would never know, but she told me to wait, so I did.  The twosome finally got down to the tee box and they told me to go ahead and hit, they were not that good.  So, I tee off and never saw them again.

 

I get to hole 10 and a ranger comes over and starts scolding me because the lady in the pro shop told him I didn’t listen to her and went down to the first tee and teed off without waiting.  She also told him that I come out there all the time and don’t check in with her before going out.  So, I have to listen to this ranger go off on me for stuff that I have never done.  I explain what happened on the first tee, and he says, oh that is fine.  I tell him I check in every time I come out here.  But there were no apologies given. So, I am struggling over what to do here.

 

On one had this is a pretty minor thing to happen to someone and in the grand scheme of things, whatever.  But on the other hand, I am a very proud person and I pride myself in my integrity, and she insulted me, as did the ranger.  And, I am dreading going  on Friday and playing, knowing she is going to be there. 

[rogolf]

(Re)introduce yourself to her.  Tell her your version of the facts of the situation(s).

[RSinSG]

23 minutes ago, rogolf said:

(Re)introduce yourself to her.  Tell her your version of the facts of the situation(s).

This. Be bold and be the one to set the narrative. You don’t need to go in there all “Karen” like but let her know you didn’t appreciate her telling the ranger something that was inaccurate. 

[pingfool]

Reverse psychology with the dolt in the pro shop. Blow her a kiss every time and she will wave you to the tee next time she sees you. Trust me. 

[Kyle M]

Go there and address it like an adult. More than likely she will apologize. 

[trilerian]

The responses are in favor of going in and talking to her.  I can't explain how much I don't want to do this.  I'm more of a conflict avoidance person.  Conflict creates high anxiety in me, I'm more of the opinion that I should just make online tee times on Fridays and not say a word to her when I check in.  I've thought about emailing the head of the golf courses for the city, but I think that may be a bit over the top.  My wife told me to bring it up with one of the other pro shop guys but I have good relationships with them, and I don't want them to see my complaint as attack against the golf course.  But at the same point in time I am honestly considering going to a different course for a season pass next year even though this course is 2 miles from my house and I like it.  

 

Idk... If I were in the wrong, I would without doubt do what I had to do to make it right.  But I really feel that I shouldn't have to put myself into a high anxiety situation to resolve a conflict I am not responsible for.  

[Abh159]

I think you are being a little dramatic about the situation if you want my honest opinion. You said you have a season pass so you've gone out there a fair amount this year (you said 5 days / week), and this is the first time something like this has happened? 

 

If you're so shook up over the event then stop going to the course, or quit playing on Fridays. Otherwise just get over it dude...

[NJBigFish22]

Me personally would go in discuss the events, but since you are non confrontational, go in do what you need to do and go play.  Obviously you are letting this bother you, you should be able to handle without it turning into a confrontation.  Example, If she brings it up, then say something similar to you need to get your facts straight or it’s no big deal.

[jvincent]

11 minutes ago, Abh159 said:

I think you are being a little dramatic about the situation if you want my honest opinion. You said you have a season pass so you've gone out there a fair amount this year (you said 5 days / week), and this is the first time something like this has happened? 

 

If you're so shook up over the event then stop going to the course, or quit playing on Fridays. Otherwise just get over it dude...

 

Thanks for saving me the typing.

[david.c.w]

6 minutes ago, jvincent said:

 

Thanks for saving me the typing.

 

Same thing from me.

 

Seems like you are totally overblowing this whole thing.  Friday pro shop lady is cranky.  No big deal.

[trilerian]

3 minutes ago, NJBigFish22 said:

Me personally would go in discuss the events, but since you are non confrontational, go in do what you need to do and go play.  Obviously you are letting this bother you, you should be able to handle without it turning into a confrontation.  Example, If she brings it up, then say something similar to you need to get your facts straight or it’s no big deal.

 

I am definitely letting it bother me, and I know that is completely irrational.  In the grand scheme of things, this slight is a nothing burger.  But yet, even though it is irrational, it does bother me.  I assume even the best of us are prone to irrational tendencies every now and then. 

 

 

[tatertot]

27 minutes ago, Abh159 said:

I think you are being a little dramatic about the situation if you want my honest opinion. You said you have a season pass so you've gone out there a fair amount this year (you said 5 days / week), and this is the first time something like this has happened? 

 

If you're so shook up over the event then stop going to the course, or quit playing on Fridays. Otherwise just get over it dude...

Yeppers.

[trilerian]

So for those that say go in and talk to her about it, what do you say?

 

Hey "lady" (I know her name, should I use it), I really don't appreciate you saying I did these things I didn't do. This is how it really went down and I would appreciate you not unjustly accusing me of such things in the future...

 

Coming from a 6' 260lbs guy who is built like a linebacker and speaks with conviction.  I'll probably come off as aggressive and get a talking to for that.  

[jvincent]

3 minutes ago, trilerian said:

So for those that say go in and talk to her about it, what do you say?

 

Hey "lady" (I know her name, should I use it), I really don't appreciate you saying I did these things I didn't do. This is how it really went down and I would appreciate you not unjustly accusing me of such things in the future...

 

Coming from a 6' 260lbs guy who is built like a linebacker and speaks with conviction.  I'll probably come off as aggressive and get a talking to for that.  

 

Again, you are overblowing this.

 

She thought you went out ahead because she didn't know the other people let you. She was having a bitchy day and ranted to the marshal who then bitched at you because he didn't know the whole story. Once he knew the situation, he said there was not problem.

 

So, it seems your big issue here is that he didn't apologize to you for not having all his facts straight. You really need to let this one go.

[NJBigFish22]

9 minutes ago, trilerian said:

So for those that say go in and talk to her about it, what do you say?

 

Hey "lady" (I know her name, should I use it), I really don't appreciate you saying I did these things I didn't do. This is how it really went down and I would appreciate you not unjustly accusing me of such things in the future...

 

Coming from a 6' 260lbs guy who is built like a linebacker and speaks with conviction.  I'll probably come off as aggressive and get a talking to for that.  

You only have 2 options, either you bring it up or let her bring it up.

 

If you bring it up, I would say, “I wanted to talk to you about last week, after waiting on the tee box for the twosome you said to, they told me to go ahead of them, I don’t appreciate being accused of something I didn’t do by people that don’t have all the facts.” 

 

This also works for if she she brings it up.  Odds are she doesn’t even remember or care at this point.  A lot of the others are right, just let it go, life is too short and you have golf to play.

Edited August 18, 2022 by NJBigFish22

[trilerian]

4 minutes ago, jvincent said:

 

Again, you are overblowing this.

 

She thought you went out ahead because she didn't know the other people let you. She was having a bitchy day and ranted to the marshal who then bitched at you because he didn't know the whole story. Once he knew the situation, he said there was not problem.

 

So, it seems your big issue here is that he didn't apologize to you for not having all his facts straight. You really need to let this one go.

 

My big issue isn't with the ranger, although he let into me pretty good.  My issue is with the woman who had a clear view of the tee box from where she was at the cash register.  

 

And I would love to let it go, but it's like a bad song that gets stuck in your head.  Maybe it's my sense of fair play coming out, Idk.  

[jvincent]

10 minutes ago, trilerian said:

 

My big issue isn't with the ranger, although he let into me pretty good.  My issue is with the woman who had a clear view of the tee box from where she was at the cash register.  

 

And I would love to let it go, but it's like a bad song that gets stuck in your head.  Maybe it's my sense of fair play coming out, Idk.  

 

You're assuming she was watching the tee the whole time. Maybe she was with a different customer, or had to go to the bathroom, or whatever.

 

The point is she certainly didn't hear your conversation with the other group.

 

Let it go.

[596]

The "I don't appreciate..." is going to do nothing but piss her off.  The OP does not want confrontation.  You are an adult, she is an adult. Be nice.  Just explain the first tee situation and I'm betting she will be fine after that.  Just like the Starter was. It's all a misunderstanding. As a cop for 22 years, you need to give her an out to save face.  Don't be mean or confrontational, it's not needed and won't do anything to solve the situation. 

 

If I was as mean to people as they were to me for 22 years as a cop, I'd have been in jail decades ago. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by 596

[caniac6]

2 hours ago, trilerian said:

So for those that say go in and talk to her about it, what do you say?

 

Hey "lady" (I know her name, should I use it), I really don't appreciate you saying I did these things I didn't do. This is how it really went down and I would appreciate you not unjustly accusing me of such things in the future...

 

Coming from a 6' 260lbs guy who is built like a linebacker and speaks with conviction.  I'll probably come off as aggressive and get a talking to for that.  

Just tell her that there was a misunderstanding of the events last Friday, and you just want to clear things up. There is no need to be confrontational. Just talk like an adult. As a pass holder, if this doesn’t work, talk to the GM or head pro. Sounds like this part time employee might have a bit of a Barney Fife complex.

[sui generis]

"Good afternoon, Doris. I'm sorry about last Friday afternoon. I didn't mean to upset the system, but the two you sent me to play with didn't want to play with me, so I went off by myself. I hope we can still be friends."

[ChaosTheory]

I probably wouldn’t say anything.  But if she does, just tell her that the twosome wanted you to go in front of them.  If she doesn’t accept that, it’s her problem.

[Purple Toupee]

If she asked the ranger to confront you, she probably also asked him about the outcome, so she likely already knows she was wrong.  Next time you check in with her you can just say, “Hey, did the ranger clear up with you what happened when I teed off last week?”  Though I doubt she’s been obsessing about it and may not even remember.

[HoosierHacker89]

This again is a thread of responses where everyone on wrx loves being the hulk and are confrontation over the internet.

 

To the OP...I'd just move on and not make much about it. A clueless lady that works the counter at a golf shop isn't trying to take a stab at your integrity. She probably is a miserable person and hates her job. I'd be the sunshine in her day and be as kind as possible to her.  

[Colin L]

Forget it.  She probably has.

[North Butte]

Honestly, I'd probably whinge and moan about it to my wife for a few minutes when I got home that night and that's the last I'd think about it. Whenever you next go play there, just proceed normally and forget about it. 

[Fuscinator]

6 hours ago, trilerian said:

I am a very proud person and I pride myself in my integrity

Maybe try one of the other seven deadly sins? I suggest lust and whichever one drinking comes under.

[trilerian]

57 minutes ago, Fuscinator said:

Maybe try one of the other seven deadly sins? I suggest lust and whichever one drinking comes under.

I can try lust, lol. Not much of a drinker though and my drug of choice is golf.

[nsxguy]

9 hours ago, trilerian said:

This is more pro shop etiquette, not really sure where this belongs.

 

I’ve been stewing over this since this happened…

 

Last Friday I went out after work to play.  I have a season pass at the course I went to, and I play at least 5 days a week.  I generally do not make a tee time because I don’t get there until 5:45-6pm.  There are leagues most days and normally the person in the pro shop will send me off either 1 or 10 depending on where the leagues are.  Fridays though don’t have a league and generally are not that busy.  However, the lady who only works on Fridays doesn’t have an imagination and only sends people out on 1.  So, I get there, and she looks for a tee time for me.  She says I can go after a twosome that just walked out who had to go get their clubs and put them on their cart.  I say fine.  I go down to the first tee and wait for the twosome to get down there.  When we were in the pro shop there was a single going off that I had hoped she would pair me with, but whatever.  I am waiting for this group and now the hole is empty, I could definitely tee off and the twosome would never know, but she told me to wait, so I did.  The twosome finally got down to the tee box and they told me to go ahead and hit, they were not that good.  So, I tee off and never saw them again.

 

I get to hole 10 and a ranger comes over and starts scolding me because the lady in the pro shop told him I didn’t listen to her and went down to the first tee and teed off without waiting.  She also told him that I come out there all the time and don’t check in with her before going out.  So, I have to listen to this ranger go off on me for stuff that I have never done.  I explain what happened on the first tee, and he says, oh that is fine.  I tell him I check in every time I come out here.  But there were no apologies given. So, I am struggling over what to do here.

 

On one had this is a pretty minor thing to happen to someone and in the grand scheme of things, whatever.  But on the other hand, I am a very proud person and I pride myself in my integrity, and she insulted me, as did the ranger.  And, I am dreading going  on Friday and playing, knowing she is going to be there. 

 

7 hours ago, trilerian said:

So for those that say go in and talk to her about it, what do you say?

 

Hey "lady" (I know her name, should I use it), I really don't appreciate you saying I did these things I didn't do. This is how it really went down and I would appreciate you not unjustly accusing me of such things in the future...

 

Coming from a 6' 260lbs guy who is built like a linebacker and speaks with conviction.  I'll probably come off as aggressive and get a talking to for that.  

 

You're being too confrontational (with the bolded part) and saying that certainly wouldn't defuse any hard feelings - quite the opposite.

 

What I would do is tell her what the ranger told you, specifically that you "never check in with her" and ask her if that's what she told him.

 

If you really DO check in with her every Friday, she'll deny she told the ranger that and then you can simply tell her "I knew you'd remember. I guess the ranger misheard you".

 

If she confirms she told the ranger that, then you have a bit of a problem. "How can you say I never check in when I check in with you every Friday ?"

 

From there I'd play it by ear.

[Schulzmc]

6 hours ago, sui generis said:

"Good afternoon, Doris. I'm sorry about last Friday afternoon. I didn't mean to upset the system, but the two you sent me to play with didn't want to play with me, so I went off by myself. I hope we can still be friends."

This. Just be nice. Maybe she was having a terrible day. Most of the time when people get upset about something unreasonable there is something else in their life that upset them and you ended up being a safe place to vent. Cut them some slack.

 

And the thought that you might change golf courses over something like this is an over reaction. 

[Augster]

I wouldn’t confront her. I also wouldn’t have waited for the twosome if the hole was open. 
 

And when the ranger came around to give me crap about going out as a single and not waiting, I would have straight up LIED to him and said I “waited and waited” and the guys never showed and they hole was open so I went. He’s never going to know. 
 

ALSO, even if the lady says to go off 1, and you have a season pass and 10 looks like it’ll be quicker, I’d go off 10. If I have a season pass, and I’m not holding anybody up, I’m going to play the holes in whatever order I feel. I might start on 4, play 13, then 9, then maybe 7. Or I might just play the par 5’s. If the course isn’t busy, I’m going to play any order I can get my round in quickest. 
 

Last Saturday night it was busy. We played 1-6, waited on every shot. No chance we are finishing before dark. No end in sight but we could see open spaces. So we hopped the cart, played 15-18, then 7-14. We got all 18 in, ended up finished right a darkness, and played in 3:35. But there was a LOT of driving in between groups of holes.