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Falling behind in golf but well rounded?


Bizzle80

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On 9/21/2022 at 2:40 PM, Bizzle80 said:

 

I was just thinking about how when I was a kid I would walk home w friends and play in the street until dinner time.

 

Good advice all around. Going to have to be ok with her not competing with top of fields, but happy that she's experiencing so many different pursuits.

 

 

Being a golf parent is incredibly difficult.  Every other sport you drop your kid off to be professionally coached up in practice and overseen in the matches/games.  Only in golf is the parent so directly involved in the practice and competitive oversight.  Its really hard not to be emotionally invested, especially when its their thing from a young age and youve been right there along side for years at this point.   Spending time at the entry-level for other sports can feel like a waste.  As a parent I know what Im supposed to do (keep it fun, expose to other stuff, let them guide it), but man it is really hard sometimes!  They don't listen to us anyway.  

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I've had the most experience with my kids in soccer and baseball, playing at a pretty high level.   The good academies or travel programs really emphasize development over results until at least u14 or so.     Stressing on results of tournaments just seems completely misdirected.    I'm sure there is some benefit to playing tournament golf at a young age to get used to playing them, but results really shouldn't be that important, and being good at playing 2500-3500 yard tournaments at 9 is probably not much of a predictor of being good when they are older.    It's funny watching baseball and soccer in the younger ages, and it's only really the parent coached rec teams that get all worked up about results.   The academies that are run by professional directors with professional coaching are all about developing them to be good in their older years, and staying away from short cuts that could help them win now at the expense of long term development.   There are probably a lot of lessons to be learned from that when developing young golfers.

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2 hours ago, TroyB123 said:

I've had the most experience with my kids in soccer and baseball, playing at a pretty high level.   The good academies or travel programs really emphasize development over results until at least u14 or so.     Stressing on results of tournaments just seems completely misdirected.    I'm sure there is some benefit to playing tournament golf at a young age to get used to playing them, but results really shouldn't be that important, and being good at playing 2500-3500 yard tournaments at 9 is probably not much of a predictor of being good when they are older.    It's funny watching baseball and soccer in the younger ages, and it's only really the parent coached rec teams that get all worked up about results.   The academies that are run by professional directors with professional coaching are all about developing them to be good in their older years, and staying away from short cuts that could help them win now at the expense of long term development.   There are probably a lot of lessons to be learned from that when developing young golfers.

 

This is all great feedback. I think even me asking the question...I already know the answer...but it is so hard not to get caught up. This has all been helpful for me to support what my gut tells me...which to be clear...is not to worry about it.

 

I am sure I am not the only one with this internal struggle and debate, so thanks everyone!

 

 

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Introduce them to all sports - but let the child be the guide.  Athletic development, strength/conditioning, hand-eye coordination from all sports is good for golf in the long run.  Today's player is athletic.

 

Also, let the child be the guide to what they absolutely love.  Ultimately they will not be successful at whatever level unless they love what they are doing, whatever that may be.

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54 minutes ago, tssgj65 said:

Introduce them to all sports - but let the child be the guide.  Athletic development, strength/conditioning, hand-eye coordination from all sports is good for golf in the long run.  Today's player is athletic.

 

Also, let the child be the guide to what they absolutely love.  Ultimately they will not be successful at whatever level unless they love what they are doing, whatever that may be.

There are caveats to this, IMO.

 

My son has begged us to let him get into karting to chase his Formula 1 dream, but it's not happening for so many different reasons.  It's too expensive, the wife thinks it is too dangerous (meh), he's going to be too big to be too big of a kid to be an open-wheel racer, the travel demands can get crazy and I'm not near the mechanic he needs.  This may be an extreme example of why it is OK to say no to a kid who absolutely "loves" something, but none the less--it is an example.

 

I've encouraged him to, instead, get involved on the engineering side of racing and to keep working hard in math and science.

 

As someone who played many sports growing up, once I got to high school it took away from my academics.  I dropped from three sports down to two sports and my grades shot up.  The kids who can play three or four sports in HS--I salute them, but not many are built to do it and keep up with studies.

 

Forcing your kid to play a specific sport can definitely go wrong for both the parent and the child.  There must be an open line of communication, but at the same time the parent must know when it is time to say no and when to examine reasons why their kid wants to play or sport, or to not play a sport.  It goes both ways.

 

Last year we were on the last hole of a USKG local, and the 2nd-best player in the tournament's father came walking past us as we were finishing up on the green.  His face was red (yes it was hot, but he had a 1000-yard stare going).  I looked back, and his daughter's body language told me everything there was to say about the situation.  We near the scorer's table, and he's sitting there on a curb just staring off into the distance--you want to say something, but then again, there's a reason he's alone.  Podium time, and his daughter ties mine for 4th.  My daughter is ecstatic to get her medal, his daughter is mortified and practically shaking.  My heart broke for both of them that day.

 

Fast-forward eight months, and I ask the TD why I hadn't seen them at the past two season's locals--he tells me she's playing lots of tennis and is actually really good at it (no shock, the girl was an athlete).  I tell him it bummed me out a little not to see them around, and he says she's still playing golf--just not as much.  Turns out both the parent and child needed a reset, and both will be back at locals this season.  I hope it turns out to be the feel-good story I want it to be for them, but in any case, it seems like going after another sport worked out for the kid.

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You want your kids to be the ones initiating “can we go to the golf course, driving range, practice, etc. today.” 

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Titleist 2023 T200 Irons, 4-PW, 48*, TT AMT Black R300
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On 9/29/2022 at 2:01 PM, TroyB123 said:

I've had the most experience with my kids in soccer and baseball, playing at a pretty high level.   The good academies or travel programs really emphasize development over results until at least u14 or so.     Stressing on results of tournaments just seems completely misdirected.    I'm sure there is some benefit to playing tournament golf at a young age to get used to playing them, but results really shouldn't be that important, and being good at playing 2500-3500 yard tournaments at 9 is probably not much of a predictor of being good when they are older.    It's funny watching baseball and soccer in the younger ages, and it's only really the parent coached rec teams that get all worked up about results.   The academies that are run by professional directors with professional coaching are all about developing them to be good in their older years, and staying away from short cuts that could help them win now at the expense of long term development.   There are probably a lot of lessons to be learned from that when developing young golfers.

 

Focusing on results with kids means the coach is more worried about building a resume, either to coach a higher level or draw more kids into a money-making program.  

 

I can tell you that hockey up in the great white north is not like the baseball and soccer you talk about.  It very much is results driven.  To the point kids are put in positions best for the team.  I had a cousin whose best position was centre.  I'm biased but he had excellent vision on the ice, was a good playmaker and good goal scorer.  But because he was one of the bigger kids, the coach had him playing defense so that they had "size on the blueline."  Now I'm not saying this cost him an NHL career, but he was good enough as a defenseman to get invited to a scouting camp for the OHL.  Who knows what he might have done had he been allowed to play his best position?  But that was sacrificed so that a coach could show Ws with a bunch of 11 year olds. 

 

Unless of course your last name is Hyman, in which case your dad buys an entire league with the express purpose of getting your sons exposure and unlimited ice time....  

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  • 4 months later...

Lighten up, or you will likely see this by age 17...

 

 

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What's In The Bag (As of April 2023, post-MAX change + new putter)

 

Driver:  Tour Edge EXS 10.5° (base loft); weights neutral   ||  FWs:  Calla Rogue 4W + 7W

Hybrid:  Calla Big Bertha OS 4H at 22°  ||  Irons:  Calla Mavrik MAX 5i-PW

Wedges*:  Calla MD3: 48°... MD4: 54°, 58° ||  PutterΨSeeMore FGP + SuperStroke 1.0PT, 33" shaft

Ball: 1. Srixon Q-Star Tour / 2. Calla SuperHot (Orange preferred)  ||  Bag: Sun Mountain Three 5 stand bag

    * MD4 54°/10 S-Grind replaced MD3 54°/12 W-Grind.

     Ψ  Backups:

  • Ping Sigma G Tyne (face-balanced) + Evnroll Gravity Grip |
  • Slotline Inertial SL-583F w/ SuperStroke 2.MidSlim (50 gr. weight removed) |
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