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Grayson Murray Passing


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I hope having even something as anonymous (mostly) as a forum is helpful for y’all who are posting a small slice of what you are dealing with. Thank you for sharing your story!

 

Also can’t stress this enough. Get with a therapist. If you don’t like the first one get with another one. Too important not to!

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15 hours ago, RoverTiger said:

Amen to that. 

 

Thanks undoubtedly to the litany of bizarre and screwed up things I had to cope with in my upbringing, I have this perpetual sense of dread that I have to fight like hell to shake; I often feel like I'm on high alert. Even as my life now is arguably in the best state it's ever been and continues to get objectively better, a dark corner of my brain tells me that the rug could get pulled out from  under me at any time.

 

My wife can't really relate to it, and I'm glad. I wouldn't want her to face the inner turmoil.

Amen brother. I get it. That’s exactly the feeling.  And like you, my wife was from normal stock.  She has no way to relate.  I used to call it sheltered.  Lately I stopped that.  It’s not her fault she had good parents. And a normal life.  I’d prefer to not feel that feeling.  But I do.  
 

let me tell you what’s a great big trigger.  Electricity or AC going off. Makes me feel crazy.
 

smaller ones that I detest.      Pinching Pennie’s at the grocery store.  Any economic downturn.  Bring the anxiety to a dull roar.  .  
 

Everyday.  Get up and immediately winder if today’s the day you go back to sleeping on the ground , broke and bathing with a hose in the yard.  So you get going and hustle.  Trying to make what you can.  Stack up what you can and hoard everything.  When times get harder and you can’t do just that , the anxiety gets worse.  Everything you buy is based on usefulness , or worth to sell if you have to. 
 

then there’s the anxiety over People.  Hard to want to be around folks or trust them after you are thrown away. You constantly in business over do that.  And let them run all over you trying to please them.  Then if I  flip back to shutting down and off because  they take advantage , I’m accused of “ being crazy 😜 “.    It’s lose lose.  So yo just fight it daily.  Some days better than others.  It’s a good part of why golf and track before that called me. Individual sports don’t require the social distractions and politics of  team sports. 100 % wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  Is what it is. 

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1 hour ago, bladehunter said:

let me tell you what’s a great big trigger.  Electricity or AC going off. Makes me feel crazy.

 

Not even joking, I flip back and forth between the idea of heading to the PNW just to avoid needing AC. The noise of it is actually a bit maddening. I think there are a decent number of modern things our brains just never take to unless one lives in a brutally industrialized area their entire lives, and even most of the time that's still an issue for other mental & physical health reasons. 

 

If you want to go down rabbit hole of how we do indeed drive ourselves crazy with technology: 

 

 

 

There are also a large number of instances where people start getting constant maladies after data centers and the like are built nearby. I think Chandler, AZ is the poster child, but it's happening in a lot of cities. 

 

https://computing.mit.edu/news/the-staggering-ecological-impacts-of-computation-and-the-cloud/

 

Excerpt:

 

2019. Brenda Hayward takes a stroll through her sunny neighborhood, past the lovely, green lawn of Chuparosa park in Chandler, Arizona, when she hears it — the noise that haunts her every night as she attempts to sleep. It is there every morning when she wakes up. It is there in the park where her children played when they were young, riffling through the boughs of the palo verde trees, stalking her as she tries to live her life quietly. It began as a dull boom, not unlike the racket of bass-frenzied teenagers partying late into the night. Later, it evolved into a continuous, mechanical whine. She tries not to notice it, she tries to unhear it, but it is there, behind everything, a hellish background track to her life. As a nurse, she knows that the sound is more than mere annoyance. She sees the signs of its toll — hypertension, cortisol — but she cannot stop it. No one can, because it does not sleep.

 

Actual mental health issues, increased stress, increased blood pressure, shortened lifespans, and so on are all very real outcomes of large scale industrialization. Kind of wild what we do to ourselves. I feel badly for the poor souls who live anywhere near a main street these days dealing with being woken up by some asshat riding through at midnight or later with a piped hog or scatpack or import with an intentionally turbulent exhaust. I doubt any of the farm or wild animals that have to deal with it even outside of metro areas like it very much. 

 

People really don't consider the sum total of what they do to their own or other's health. Not really surprised that as the years have gone on I hate hearing vacuums nearby and anything above whisper quiet AC, washers, dryers, and dishwashers. Short of living by rapids or a massive waterfall there's just not much in nature that matches the intensities & frequencies of machine noise. 

 

It all adds up. Believable that it could exacerbate underlying issues as well or simply leave someone on edge. 

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This is a weird topic for me. I'm not depressive or particularly anxiety ridden. When I say I'm stoked on my existence; I mean it. The fortune I've been granted through my upbringing and what I've done with it since ... I think I've done a good job. My life's pretty cool. 

 

Tonight, folks from all over will be at a show I'm playing. That's rad. 

 

I'm extraordinarily fortunate. I'm grateful. And pretty stoked all the time. But every day; I think "Eh, maybe this is the day to just snuff it." 

 

 

Dunno why I feel that way. Chris did. And I get it. 

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20 hours ago, RoverTiger said:

Amen to that. 

 

Thanks undoubtedly to the litany of bizarre and screwed up things I had to cope with in my upbringing, I have this perpetual sense of dread that I have to fight like hell to shake; I often feel like I'm on high alert. Even as my life now is arguably in the best state it's ever been and continues to get objectively better, a dark corner of my brain tells me that the rug could get pulled out from  under me at any time.

 

My wife can't really relate to it, and I'm glad. I wouldn't want her to face the inner turmoil.

There is a difference between joy and happiness. 

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1 hour ago, tatertot said:

There is a difference between joy and happiness. 

This is where my focus on trying to be present in the moment comes in.

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I once read that the only real question in life is whether to continue living...

 

In Japan, they have Aokigahara Forest.. notoriously known as the "Suicide Forest"..

 

Life is hard. Love those around you hard. Enjoy each day hard. Bless those who show you their true nature, both good and bad.

If you feel off. Talk to someone, anyone. Heck, start a post and I will reply.

 

Positive Vibes all.

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21 hours ago, aenemated said:

This is a weird topic for me. I'm not depressive or particularly anxiety ridden. When I say I'm stoked on my existence; I mean it. The fortune I've been granted through my upbringing and what I've done with it since ... I think I've done a good job. My life's pretty cool. 

 

Tonight, folks from all over will be at a show I'm playing. That's rad. 

 

I'm extraordinarily fortunate. I'm grateful. And pretty stoked all the time. But every day; I think "Eh, maybe this is the day to just snuff it." 

 

 

Dunno why I feel that way. Chris did. And I get it. 

 

Was sad when he and Chester both passed so closely. Not good at all that they felt they couldn't go on any longer but it was good to know they both had a lot of people around them who really cared. 

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14 minutes ago, PedronNiall said:

 

Was sad when he and Chester both passed so closely. Not good at all that they felt they couldn't go on any longer but it was good to know they both had a lot of people around them who really cared. 

And man did this track off of their last album hit like an emotional sledgehammer.

 

 

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A bag off the beaten path:

 

Driver: Turner H7 at 12 degrees, 43.5"

5W: Turner H7

3UI: Adams Pro DHy

Irons: (5-PW): Dynacraft Prophet Muscle Blades

Wedges: (52, 56, 60): Ram Pro Spin

Putter: Inazone Niveus

In the bullpen:  3H: System Golf Icon Plus (purchased used), 
3W: Adams Speedline F11 (purchased used), 4UI: Turner 239

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Posted (edited)

For anyone that has anxiety or depression issues that needs some help, Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and tenured professor at Stanford has some excellent podcasts on the biology, and scientific research on improving overall quality of life, some of which is applicable to helping and relieving anxiety and depression. (Lots and lots of science and research, each podcast is at least 90 minutes)

 

From never understanding how someone can take their own life, to having those exact thoughts, Huberman’s podcast has literally saved my life. I highly recommend it. 
 

in keeping with the theme of anxiety and depression, a couple of podcasts that all affect those illnesses involve sleep, gut health, exercise, managing dopamine in your life, and much more. 
 

If anyone here needs desperate relief and wants to get better give his podcast a try.
 

My friends say I sound like a cult leader sometimes😂but I think his quality content and fast subscriber count speaks for itself. 

Edited by metaldog
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14 hours ago, metaldog said:

For anyone that has anxiety or depression issues that needs some help, Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and tenured professor at Stanford has some excellent podcasts on the biology, and scientific research on improving overall quality of life, some of which is applicable to helping and relieving anxiety and depression. (Lots and lots of science and research, each podcast is at least 90 minutes)

 

From never understanding how someone can take their own life, to having those exact thoughts, Huberman’s podcast has literally saved my life. I highly recommend it. 
 

in keeping with the theme of anxiety and depression, a couple of podcasts that all affect those illnesses involve sleep, gut health, exercise, managing dopamine in your life, and much more. 
 

If anyone here needs desperate relief and wants to get better give his podcast a try.
 

My friends say I sound like a cult leader sometimes😂but I think his quality content and fast subscriber count speaks for itself. 

 

Really glad more doctors are taking gut health seriously. Been the norm to nuke stomach/intestinal biomes with crazy rounds of antibiotics then do nothing to get them healthy again. Nice to not suffer from the illnesses the medicine takes care of but not great being messed up mind & body after with a gut that never recovers. 

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1 hour ago, hammedup said:

I have a recommendation for someone with depression issues.

When your mind wanders to negative thoughts, *get the local paper and go to work on a crossword puzzle.  It is a good brain exercise and takes you away from thoughts you are trying to avoid.

This is an obviously very serious topic so everyone please excuse me. But, you still get newspapers?!

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1 hour ago, hammedup said:

I have a recommendation for someone with depression issues.

When your mind wanders to negative thoughts, get the local paper and go to work on a crossword puzzle.  It is a good brain exercise and takes you away from thoughts you are trying to avoid.

 

that sir is the Key that unlocks the door to solving depression/anxiety...too many doctors want to put you on meds and have you come in once a week to talk about your problems...that's the worse thing you can do, to be constantly reminded of what makes you feel awful...just the fact you can do a crossword puzzle and not think about depressing issues is why this isn't a disease at all. 

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On 6/6/2024 at 5:38 AM, bscinstnct said:


 

I’ve found that, for myself, the best state of mind is

 

”No mind”

 

 

IMG_4080.jpeg


Getting off on one here, but use your mind as a tool, an instrument. Means you have to take the extra step in separating you from your mind—as you separate whoever you are from your heart or arm or your hair (god willing).
 

We might commonly intertwine ourselves with our minds. We don’t really have to do that. When you talk to yourself internally, you refer to yourself, from yourself. That’s odd, but telling. I think we can, and probably should, internally acknowledge that our brains get a little crazy sometimes, and okay, we’ll catch back up when it’s passes. Give ourselves some friggin grace. 

 

Unlike a sore arm, and M.I.A. follicles, when our brains get wonky, they have the keys to a lot of runaway emotions. Could be all the more reason to attempt to deescalate the “crazies”. Stop feeding the beast with legitimacies towards its paranoia, and let it starve out. Tell your yourself that brain is on one lately. Don’t make it worse by obeying it. Let it pass. 

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Depression and anxiety run in my family.  I got the anxiety part.  In my early 40's it hit me hard.  Like someone flipped a switch and I'd have a constant feeling of absolute dread/terror for no reason.  Thinking I'm going to die, my heart jumping out of my chest, palpitations, etc.  The worst times were at night lying in bed when I had no distractions.  I got it under control for the most part with the help of my Doc. 

 

I've been medicated for it for some time now but what was the actual magic bullet for me was turning off media.  News, socials, headline doom-scrolling, etc.  While being informed is a good thing, I found that the things I can't control or influence were also tamping down my quality of life.  I also changed my diet a few months prior and I've been panic attack/anxiety attack free since early 2020 and it's like I've got my life back.  My mom's not so lucky and watching her deal with both is rough.

 

Be well, be excellent to each other and take care of yourselves! 

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10 hours ago, hammedup said:

I have a recommendation for someone with depression issues.

When your mind wanders to negative thoughts, get the local paper and go to work on a crossword puzzle.  It is a good brain exercise and takes you away from thoughts you are trying to avoid.

Then 16 down is 7 letters, starts with "S".  Not tying to be funny as such, but deep rooted depression issues are not necessarily held at bay by doing a crossword or today's "WORDLE".  Like anything that gets your brain working a puzzle is always a good distraction or stimulating exercise but IMO maybe close to trite as a suggestion for dealing with ways in which depression can beat down and often paralyze folks.  

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