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Funny stories that happen at you CC or golf course


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My friends were golfing at Vista Valencia, which is known for the "island" 17th hole, duck droppings, and plenty of ducks. We never walk, and my friend Peach was driving the cart that day. They just finished the 8th hole, and when they were leaving, Peach hit a duck and all you could hear was the duck yapping away and attempting to fly away. He stops and then the duck just gets back on the floor and walks away like it was nothing.

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The first year my father and I golfed, my Dad hit a goose with a worm burner drive that knocked the goose over. The goose just laid there like it was dead. My father, feeling awful (even though the geese crap all over the place) walks over to the goose. The goose jumps up like it had been hit with the paddles and starts chasing him and hissing at him.

 

Hilarious. I nearly pissed myself.

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Playing a long par 5, a buddy of mine and I both lay up...I'm on the left hand side of the fairway and he's hit it about a foot into the hazard (just tall grass). I tell him to make sure there aren't any big rocks down there, as our $5 Nassau certainly isn't worth ruining a club and he looks and doesn't find any. So, he takes a couple practice swings outside the hazard, steps in, and takes a rip at it...all the while I'm ~40 yards away across the fairway. The ball comes out (decent shot actually) and grass and dirt flies everywhere. A couple seconds later, he's covered in fire ants, which he's allergic to, and comes toward me half sprinting/half seeing how quickly he can get naked. I rush over there and beat the hell out of him with my towel. Still makes me laugh to this day.

 

Once it was all over, I finally got to ridicule him about missing the huge fire ant mound while he was checking for rocks.

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It was dusk and my buddy was mad after a hole and at the next tee blocks he teed the ball up and aimed over the short 3 foot wood fence to blast that horrible ball that caused him to double bogey into the orchard on the other side. I had a ball in my hand at the time. He hit the ball and it hit the wood fence, a split second after the ball had hit the fence I threw the ball and hit him in the head. He looked up really surprised and said “did you see that! The ball hit me!” I guess it was too dark to really see the ball leave the club head so it’s been my little inside joke ever since

 

edit: that goose story is really funny

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This has nothing to do with golf, but the geese made me think of it and it is way too funny to not share. I was with 2 buddies, Randy and Jr. we were out hunting ducks and geese. Jr drank a big bottle of Jack Daniels and passed out in the dirt in front of the tent. He wouldn't get up, so me and Randy left him there and went to bed. The next morning we got up and he was still there. So we woke him up and told him it was time to go. He was having some serious stomach problems and had to run into the bushes w/ a roll of TP to take care of it. He yelled for us not to start shooting until he was done because once the 1st shot is fired, the ducks wake up and start flying, so if you are dumping in a bush you are going to miss a lot of birds.

 

So we are waiting when we hear somebody else shoot and get the birds up and going. So we figured there was nothing we could do about, so why wait for Jr. So the first duck flies over and Randy nails it. It falls out of the sky right near where Jr. was dumping in the bush. We hear him start yelling and screaming and cussing up a storm. Turns out the bird Randy shot fell and actually hit Jr., which scared him and knocked him back into the bush that he had been pooping in, covering him in his own feces as well as whatever was on and coming out of the duck. Hilarious and a great shot!!

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This past Sunday something happened that was certainly out of the ordinary. I was in the process of lining up my approach shot to the 8th green....the 6th green is directly behind the 8th green. All of the sudden the guys putting on the 6th green start yelling and running off the green. The guy putting dropped his putter. F-bombs and other words were used liberally. I thought maybe it was bees or wasps. How wrong I was. Out of nowhere this HUGE Brahma Bull comes running up onto the green! He ran up and just stood there in the middle of the green! Needless to say, we waited in the fairway until that bull decided to wander off to whence he came. The best part of it was when the Head Golf Pro came out in a cart with a club in his hand. He asked us where the bull went. When we told him it wandered back into the woods, he breathed a sigh of relief and said "Thank God, I thought I'd have to herd it with the cart!"

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not really funny but, teed ball up trying to drive short par 4. i hit low line drive, we hard a loud thump (about 75 yards out or so), could not see do to glare of sun off mountains and grass. well we did not find the ball so i just dropped and keep playing. well later that round one of the guys in the four some found it in his basicly brand new golf bag.

 

they got a kick out off it, never saw anything like it before.

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As someone who worked in the bag room when I was 17 & 18, there's a million of 'em

The time a caddy fell into the lake.. .while carrying a member's clubs.

 

Or another bag guy parked a cart on a hill, brake let know, cart went flying down the path, hit a curb, and tumbled into the lake.

 

Or the time I accidentally ran over a sprinkler head that the maintenance crew forgot to pull up. Busted the pipe right off, water REALLY started coming out. I get out of the cart, and being a stupid kid, attempt for about 5 seconds to "reattach" the sprinkler. I have no idea how I was going to do that! I mean, water was pouring out probably a couple gallons a second. I came back to the start shed drenched, and the first fairway flooded in just a minute or two.

 

This other time a member who had a strong accent asked me to get his clubs and bring them over to his car. He told me he was going to the grill for a minute and would be right back. Handed me 5 bucks (hey, it was 22 years ago!). I'm looking all over the bag room for this guys clubs. Nowhere to be found. I'm in a panic, and look up, and he's walking across the street carrying his bag with one hand (this guy probably never put a strap over his shoulder in his life). I apparently didn't understand that his bag was in his CAR, and he wanted me to get it for him.

 

Or when ex-Lions coach Monty Clark grabbed a bucket of balls. Being the not so in-shape kinda guy he was, he jumps in a cart another guy backed in next to the range picker. Apparently the reverse beep wasn't working. Monty jumps in the cart which was still in reverse, floors it, smashes into the range picker, and range balls go EVERYWHERE. He just kinda grumbles, grabs another bucket, and takes off, leaving 90 balls scatters all over the ground.

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a friend an i were golfing at this local muni course that isn't great, but it is cheap and close, one afternoon. they do have a par 3 that is a island, but is pretty short, like 120 from the back tees. i had been playing terrible all day and on my first shot, hook it left into the lake. my next shot i hit straight, but short of the green so i am just fuming mad. i jump in the cart and my buddy grabs his putter out of the bag and starts walking towards the green. i drive up to the green at top speed and try to "drift" the cart around the turnaround. well golf carts don't drift to well and teh thing flips into the lake with me in it. we try like heck to get the cart out, but it is kinda sunk in the mud. the 4 some behind us has to help us pull the thing out just as the ranger gets there. i tell him that my foot slipped off the brake onto the gas and for some reason he eaither beleives me or just doesn't care. we play the rest of the back 9 in a sputtering, mud covered cart. and i have to play barefoot and in soaking wet, mud covered clothes...... but my putting was waaaayy better!

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This was after my round as I was changing my shoes in the parking lot....one of the clubhouse workers must have just picked up all the balls from the range because he had 5 or 6 milkcrates full of golfballs in his cart. As he turned the corner in the parking lot, all of the milk crates tipped out of the cart and sprayed bouncing golf balls across the entire paved parking lot. I helped him gather them back up but it took forever.

 

The only thing that would have made it better is if there were people trying walk all over and slipping on all of the balls rolling around.

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We had a day in the 40's this January. My dad, my brother's (22 & 14) head out to the course (I guess I should say, I'm 24). Second hole is a short par 3 that crosses a shallow pond (2 feet deep, maybe). Anyway, I catch it fat and don't carry the pond. Its sitting on the ice about 10 feet from the edge, 30 yards from the pin. I checked the ice and decided to play it. I hit a wedge to about 6 inches and saved par. Next hole is a long par 4 with water down the left side. My 22 year old brother who is a left proceeds to slice it into the middle of this pond. Not to be out done, he grabs a 2 iron. As he's standing on this pond, he proceeds to try to hit the ball and the ice cracked. It didn't break through, but made a very audible loud crack. He came sprinting back off the ice and took a drop.

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OK I run a golf course. At my golf course the pro shop is 50 yds away from the first tee box. If you're a righty it is behind you as you tee off. Although we can't explain it my shop has been hit from time to time by righty's and lefty's alike. One day a guy brings his kid in and they want to golf...fine by me. I check them in and send them to the first tee. I also had to speak with another group on the putting green so I followed them out. During this conversation I couldn't help but notice that the dad was pretty much chewing the kid out...All the good ones ya know...Hurry up!!!..You're embarassing me!!!!....Don't be so stupid!!!..Really letting the kid have it for not doing anything wrong. It was one of those situations where you want to say something but it's not you're place, and he is a customer so I opted to just let it go for now and just keep a close eye and make sure my other golfers aren't effected too much.

 

So i'm watching real close and his dad is still just totally ripping on him..."No don't stand like that!!!...Jeez you're just like you're mother!!!". Are you frickin kidin me!! what a [email protected] so the kid is finally gonna tee off and his father is standing behind him still ridiculing him even as he's trying to hit. The kid takes a huge hack. surely out of anger. And somehow he hits one of those majical shots.....Right between his legs and the ball nails his dad smack on the shin. Judging from the way his dad dropped to the ground, the ball probally would have broken a window in my shop....Luckily it served a much better purpose.

 

 

Joshua

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I was playing golf with a friend of mine and my dad and after my friend hit his drive and was getting in the cart. I was still on the tee box waiting for my dad to hit. Somehow my dad hit the ball off the heel of the club and it went directly behind him and started bouncing around in the cart my friend was in but amazingly it did not hit him. A couple of holes later my dad had pulled his cart up waiting on my friend to hit then all of a sudden drove off. When we caught up to him after the shot I asked him why he took off, he said he was afraid my friend would want revenge.

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Golf gods can be a b**** sometimes.

 

Par 3 180y, elevated green, water all the way on the right, OB on the left. Usually plays into the wind. Water starts about 30y from the tee box and there's a couple of tall palm trees right on the corner.

 

I had the honors so I go, perfect line, bounce on the green, hits the flagstick and then procedes to bounce right of the green on the upslope between the water and the green, in the rough. I'm shortsided, so bogey would be great. Oh well such is golf.

 

Buddy tees it up ( great guy but 90 is a GOOD day), shanks it right, hit one of the palms, the ball kicks a bit left and down, hits THE TOP of the red hazards stake (1" PVC with a cap on it) bounce on the green rolls to less than foot of the cup.........

 

The other two guys are on the ground rolling, crying with laughter, took me a few minutes to see the humor in it!

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The first year my father and I golfed, my Dad hit a goose with a worm burner drive that knocked the goose over. The goose just laid there like it was dead. My father, feeling awful (even though the geese crap all over the place) walks over to the goose. The goose jumps up like it had been hit with the paddles and starts chasing him and hissing at him.

 

Hilarious. I nearly pissed myself.

:wacko: :shok: Wow, that painted quite the picture in my head. I can only imagine how funny that was in real life!

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A couple years ago playing with my dad...We're on our second shots into a par 5. Up ahead is a guy riding a huge Toro lawnmower. He pulls off to the right rough to let us go through and is faced right at us about 150 yards out. My dad slices a 3 wood that only gets about 3 feet off the ground and is tracking the guy on the Toro. You can see the fear in his eyes and it freezes him right on the mower. The ball nails the lawnmower dead center of the "TORO" logo on the grill and the landscaper falls feet up off the back of the mower.

 

After a few choice words in Spanish that I'm sure weren't favorable, the landscaper eventually smiled as we played through.

 

I'm crying just thinking about it.

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Sorry, I've got another one...

 

I'm playing with a guy years ago, it's winter, about 40* out. We get to #9, par 3 over water. He says to me as he pulls out a ball retriever, "I always pick a few balls for the back nine". As he starts fishing for balls, keep in mind he's had a few beers too. His foot hits a frozen patch near the lake and he slides all the way in and under the slimy green water. As he stands up, shakes it off, cracks open another beer and plays the back soaken wet...

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OK one more and I'll go back to bed...

 

Bachelor party, par 3 course. My buddy sets a fresh beer down by the tee marker in front him as he tees his ball. Takes his shot and hits it dead off the toe and it hits and explodes the beer. As if that wasn't enough to get us rolling, he takes his place at the end of the rotation to tee up another one. Already has a new beer when it's his time...Sets the beer down in the same place, tees up his second ball and hits the exact same shot shot off the toe and explodes his beer again...True story...

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Putter: Taylormade Tour Spider
Ball: Taylormade TP5x

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I have 3

 

1 - was waved up by one member of the foursome on a par 3 and one member didn't see

what happened. I hit the guy who was not aware we were coming up. He wasn't hurt too bad. Hit him in the shoulder. But, there were nearly fistacuffs - until the guy that waved us explained the situation

 

2 - Luray Caverns, Va mtn course- I drove it into the small cavern in the middle of the fairway and lost my ball.

 

3- my young son - nearly hit the group ahead. there was a fellow off to the left. thinking he

doesn't have a the length or hook in his bag. I said go - he hit the guys cart missing him by 3 feet.

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I play at an RTJ course that was built in a prairie. There are tons of birds and other wildlife all over the place.

 

Last year I was attacked by a Redwing Blackbird- and I mean ATTACKED!. Apparently they're very territorial and I must have gone near his nest or something. I ended up having to take a penalty because he wouldn't let me get anywhere near my ball.

 

After talking to some of the other members, I found that I wasn't the only one this jerk bird harassed! Pretty much anyone who missed the 8th green to the right had an encounter with the bastxxx! :clapping:

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Started a tournament yesterday in a blizzard. We watched the front come through form the north and we were the second group #1. Did not even get to tee off before we headed back to the clubhouse. Waited another 30 minutes for it to clear and then started. Played through #5 before another storm came in. Called it a day. Picked up our rain (snow?) checks and a 2 for 1 for a later date.

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