Random conversation thread

[Ironmaster Oddities]

Okessa,
Certainly nothing wrong with having an aversion to snakes. And Australia has a handful of other creatures without shoulders that are included i n the top dozen world's most deadly. Tiger, and Fierce snake come to mind (from watching old Crocodile Hunter episodes).
Also A deadly and rather aggressive arachnid; I think it is a Funnel Spider or something like that.

Give me a plain old ordinary Timber Rattlesnake. At least it will warn you...most of the time. Of course, Ireland sounds like a good choice. No snakes at all. Or is that strictly myth?
Uncle Bob

[oldschoolrocker]

Uncle Bob,
I never saw one of those revolting slithering creatures when I lived in Hawaii, except the ones I ran into underwater.

[ScooterMcTavish]

[quote name='Pinsplitter59' timestamp='1383593453' post='8100850']
See, we keep our feet on the ground here, none of that man on the moon stuff, we wake up every morning and say ''ok let's go kill some rabbits''.

Rabbits are pretty clever, kangaroos are really dumb.
You can hear the thump of an 8 iron hitting a roo, it just looks up, twitches it ears, take 2 hops and eats more grass.
[/quote]

These are officially the best three sentences to ever appear in a row on GolfWRX. P-S, you just won the Internet today.

[quote name='okesa' timestamp='1383568652' post='8099158']
[size=5]Japan;Nihonto and Akira Kurosawa.[/size]
[size=5]Sweden;Abba and depression.[/size]
[size=5]England;Elizabethan literature and the Brown Bess.[/size]
[size=5]USA;Declaration of Independence and John Wayne.[/size]
[size=5]Scotland;J.C. Wilson and Dunottar castle.[/size]
[size=5]Australia;Convicts and Skippy.[/size]
[/quote]

Very interesting how global this particular section of Wrx is, and Okesa's list shows some thought and enlightenment (sorry P-S, yours was good too). Kurosawa? Brilliant.

I like to play, so my list as to what I've received from other countries is:

Japan: Hayao Miyazki, defect-free manufacturing, W. Edwards Deming
Sweden: The 80's band Europe, Gevalia, pretty blonde girls with great complexions
Ireland: A sense of humor, many freckles, and the ability to turn into bacon in the sun
China: Many, many, many affordable electronics
USA: A lifelong insecurity complex, a place for my wife to go shopping
England: Footy frustration, Dickens, Bitters
Scotland: Talisker, Bowmore, Laphroaig, and my friend Charles
Australia: Outback steakhouse (LOL), Foster's Lager, Greg Norman
The Phillipines: Pansit, my friend Dan

When you put together a list like this, it's amazing to realize how global we've all actually become.

[okesa]

[size=5]I believe that it's true Uncle Bob,St. Patrick banished them from the Emerald Isle.[/size]
[size=5]Yep good 'ole rattlers,Elmer Keith who was a great handgun expert had a fund of rattler stories,he lived out in Idaho and Montana much of his life,once when out hunting Big-Horn sheep he was climbing a cliff and on reaching a ledge came eyeball to eyeball with a rattler that was basking there which he quickly despatched with his Colt.[/size]
[size=5]Another time he went to check the remuda before dawn and in the dark trod on a big rattler,he reckoned when he felt the squirm under his boot he took off 3 feet in the air,drew his single-action Colt and fired three shoots before landing,you just wouldn't want to be nearby in your blankets when either of them were around eh?[/size]
[size=5]OSR is that sea snakes or the locals that you're referring to?LOL[/size]

[oldschoolrocker]

Okesa,
That was in my younger days and in the form of political correctness I will not divulge the term some used for the locals, although myself was invited to many a local habitat and had a wonderful relationship with a local Wahine. It was doomed however by her mothers deep seated hatred of the Howlee.

[ScooterMcTavish]

OSR.....

You life has been better on so many levels compared to mine.

[Pinsplitter59]

My avatar pic is from the Grampians Golf Course at Dunkeld.
which are in Scotland and in Victoria , Australia. First white people to settle here came from Scotland and named things after back home.
Grampians Mountains,Glenelg River, Wickliffe, Glenthompson etc.
Hewn by hand by the local people from the natural bush in the 1960's, when some farms up the road still had no electricity.
Superman was on the valve radio after school, i sold rabbits for 2 shillings a pair, the pub closed at 6pm and women weren't allowed in the bar, and by unlucky chance I hit a pure shot with my mum's 5 iron one day which sank the nasty teeth of golf deep into my bones.

[oldschoolrocker]

Scoot,
I sincerely doubt that. I have paid a high price for my adventures.

Folly

The new sun rising in the east,
the gulls gliding in the morning air.
Three shrimpers boats half hidden by fog
a half league out. I go deeper
to where the sand gives up
and there's only a hint
that it once was beach
beneath my toes. I feel the pull
of the outgoing tide. I don't ask myself
what I am searching for. I didn't come for answers
in a place like this, I came to feel the weight
of the ocean, and to take a coin from my pocket,
And flip it into my Atlantic fountain.
"Wishing" I call it,
heads as it tumbles through the froth.

OSR

[ScooterMcTavish]

[quote name='oldschoolrocker' timestamp='1383621289' post='8103172']
Scoot,
I sincerely doubt that. I have paid a high price for my adventures.
[/quote]

If the price paid is less than the value received, then it is worth doing. To experience life, is to have LIVED! And that is always of value.

[okesa]

[indent=1][size=5]Aawwww,Scooter,you sound so sad,is it literally a case of that?Seasonally affected disorder is common amongst Scots particularly on the North East coast round 'Granite City'....Aberdeen,another explanation for the depression is that the millions of £'s earned from North Sea oil and gas has all been pissed up the wall and they are beginning to realise that it's not a bottomless well.....[/size][/indent]

[indent=1][size=5]Cheer up Scooter,soon be Christmas![/size][/indent]

[okesa]

[size=5]Small pic of Pinsplitter's course.....[/size]

[Pinsplitter59]

geez okesa where'd you find that?
looks like the 8th hole, now that's what you call rough when you miss the narrow fairways and you can see why snakes like it too.
Gets a bit dry in summer!
2nd hole uphill par 5.
[attachment=1938236:DSC_7860w.JPG]
Sorry, not meaning to hijack thread into my personal sentimentalities.

[Nspiel58]

Speaking of Scotland, this is a great series - A History of Scotland - [media=]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6JDPd-T2BQ[/media]

[okesa]

[size=5]Found it on the web,the scenery looks fantastic with the mountains and the course looks to be like your sense of humour,very dry![/size]
[size=5]Are those gum trees or the famous coolibar that we learned to sing about at school although there doesn't appear to be a billabong in sight?[/size]
[size=5]Keep posting,adds to the international flavour![/size]

[okesa]

[size=5]Monday saw me play in the first round of the Winter Singles Matchplay,drawn against Bob 'Hooters' McVitie a high handicap golfer who received his nickname due to the overbearing similarity of his upper torso to that of Colin Montgomery.[/size]
[size=5]He's not long but very straight and possibly the worst putter that has ever been seen,mostly due to sticking with an old Tom Morris gunmetal blade putter which had been broken at the neck and brazed back together leaving it devoid of any 'feel' and[/size][size=5] also manages to contort himself into a position shaped like the u-bend of a lavatory,crouching over the ball because he once saw Jack Nicklaus putt like that.[/size]
[size=5]I knew this was a tough call,my strength has always been chipping and putting but the greens are so rough that any edge that I might have had in those departments were negated by the condition of the course,my swing resembles that of the third gravedigger in Hamlet (him again!) and giving him 10 shots over 18 holes was always going to be difficult.[/size]
[size=5]The match swung back and forth and then on the par 3 14th,a stroke of genius,a smooth punched 5-iron through the breeze,ruling the flag and a four foot putt for birdie.[/size]
[size=5]A swing like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining' saw Hooters in the greenside bunker,he exploded the ball out across to the semi-rough on the opposite side then thinned a 7-iron chip,hitting the flagstick and dropping into the cup.[/size]
[size=5]I missed the birdie putt and walking to the next tee marked down '0' on the card,Hooters looked over"I was three,same as you!".[/size]
[size=5]We arrived at the 18th all square,both on for three,Hooters 12 feet away receiving a stroke.[/size]
[size=5]As he took the putter back I distinctly heard him break wind,not the crisp flatulence that can occasion pleasure and relief but something altogether more unpleasant and moist and in an effort to clench his cheeks Hooters abandoned his crouch and on the way up struck his ball perfectly just above centre.[/size]
[size=5]The topspin on the ball took it over wormcasts,spike marks,pitch marks until it reached the side of the cup where it fell in.[/size]
[size=5]"Aye,a mon who can putt is a match for anyone" he declared waving his putter,"Will ye bide for a wee dram?Losers pay!"[/size]
[size=5]"Crumbs McVitie,you really take the biscuit",was all I could say.[/size]

[birly-shirly]

Post of the Year, Okesa! Love McVitie's nickname. Sorry to hear you're out of the singles - but it's worth it to have a match report like that!

[oldschoolrocker]

Okesa,
Was like I was reading with my eyes closed envisioning the account. Brilliant and thank you.

[ScooterMcTavish]

Okesa, your post reads more like a telly script than a play-by-play of a golf match.

[guisician]

So vivid I think I caught a whiff of that last putt!

[Kirasdad]

[quote name='okesa' timestamp='1383732579' post='8108880']
my swing resembles that of the third gravedigger in Hamlet (him again!) and giving him 10 shots over 18 holes was always going to be difficult.
[/quote]

That's too bad, my meticulous research into Shakespeare tells me the first gravedigger was a scratch. He handled his shepard's crook like Tiger's stinger 2 iron. Maybe you could get some woodcuts of his swing sequence and work on it.

[okesa]

[size=5]Like George Washington (or was it Bill Clinton?) I cannot tell a lie and must confess that my tale is fiction,but not entirely,as elements of it have actually occurred during my golfing life,just not in the sequence described.In the course of a sleepless night the germ of an idea came to me that I thought and hoped would entertain for a couple of minutes and perhaps raise a smile and brighten the day.[/size]

[guisician]

[quote name='okesa' timestamp='1383826647' post='8114310']
[size=5]Like George Washington (or was it Bill Clinton?) I cannot tell a lie and must confess that my tale is fiction,but not entirely,as elements of it have actually occurred during my golfing life,just not in the sequence described.In the course of a sleepless night the germ of an idea came to me that I thought and hoped would entertain for a couple of minutes and perhaps raise a smile and brighten the day.[/size]
[/quote]

It's brought a smile to more than one day; Mission accomplished!

[okesa]

[size=5]Thank you![/size]

[size=5]K'Dad,the Bard of Avon understood my swing problems as voiced in the same play;[/size]
[size=5]"Diseases desperate grown[/size]
[size=5] By desperate appliance are reliev'd[/size]
[size=5] Or not at all"[/size]

[size=5]Hamlet IV iii 9[/size]

[Soloman1]

Thanks for that, Okesa.

It just goes to show that fiction can be much more pleasant than the truth lately.

[dbuck47]

Thanks Okesa, good job, and more than achieved your goal.

[okesa]

[size=5]A source of inspiration for my tale was based on a real and very funny incident which involved my two pals who were both assistant professionals,Scotty was the junior assistant and when I turned up to play one hot summer day he couldn't wait to get me out of the shop and on to the putting green which was out of earshot of passers-by,he obviously had something of great significance to impart as he was hopping around fit to bust and kept breaking out in spontaneous chortles of laughter,which try as he might could neither stifle nor control.[/size]
[size=5]"I've got to tell you!" he blurted.[/size]
[size=5]"What is it Scotty,what's wrong with you today?"[/size]
[size=5]More chuckles,"Just promise,no,you have to [i]swear[/i] that you won't tell anyone what I'm about to say."[/size]
[size=5]"Scotty,we're mates,course not."[/size]
[size=5]"OK,well you know that TMS (senior assistant) has been giving me a hard time recently,criticising everything I do and leaving me all the crap jobs."....more chuckles.[/size]
[size=5]"Yes...and..."[/size]
[size=5]"I decided to get my own back",more maniacal laughter.[/size]
[size=5]"Yes...and..."[/size]
[size=5]"I went to the toy shop in town and bought some of that 'fart powder',you slip it in someone's drink and it makes them fart out of control."[/size]
[size=5]"Yes..and.."[/size]
[size=5]"Well,I dosed his coffee with it yesterday morning."[/size]
[size=5]"How much did you use?".[/size]
[size=5]"Well I wanted it to work well,so I put the whole lot in!" peals of lunatic laughter followed.[/size]
[size=5]"Did it work?"[/size]
[size=5]"Oh yes,oh yes indeed it did,he was out on a playing lesson and on the 6th tee (furthest point fom the clubhouse) went to fart only he followed through and filled his pants!"cue tears of laughter rolling down face![/size]
[size=5]"Then what?"[/size]
[size=5]"He went into the trees,left his trousers and underpants there in the woods and finished the lesson wearing his waterproof trousers,it was baking hot and he really whiffed when he got back!"[/size]
[size=5]By this point Scotty was almost hysterical in the retelling of his vengeance and although the target of his revenge and I remained good pals,I never told him what had gone on,Scotty and I laughed about it for a long time after but I was always careful never to accept another coffee in the back of the pro shop.[/size]

[oldschoolrocker]

Okesa,
That is worthy of the type of diabolical pranks we would play on one another during extended submarine patrols. A double Bravo Zulu for that one.

[Ironmaster Oddities]

Okessa,
Reminds me of the story about the grade school teacher .....

Class, can any one make a sentence using the word "definitely"?
Little Mary raises her hand and is called. She says, the sky is definitely blue.
Teacher says, sorry Mary. But that is incorrect. Is the sky blue when it is raining? Lets try this
Again, shall we.
Yes, Janet ,can you make a sentence correctly using the word "definitely"?
Yes I can teacher. Grass is definitely green.
Incorrect. Last summer when we had a drought, was the grass green?
No, teacher. It was kind of brown, wasn't it.
Right-o , Janet . Is someone else willing to try?
Little Johnny in the back row has been frantically waving his hand since the exercise began, only to be ignored by the teacher.
Now he is the only student with his hand in the air.
Yes, Little Johnny. Can you make a sentence correctly using definitely.
So He stands up and asks: Teacher, are farts lumpy and wet?
Teacher replies, ER, eh, uh, no, little Johnny farts are not lumpy and wet. Why did......
Little Johnny blurts out...in that case, I have definitely s**t my pants.

[birly-shirly]

[quote name='oldschoolrocker' timestamp='1384209997' post='8133504']
Okesa,
That is worthy of the type of diabolical pranks we would play on one another during extended submarine patrols. A double Bravo Zulu for that one.
[/quote]

In a submarine? Surely that's the very definition of a "lose-lose" scenario. Summons up Billy Connolly's phrase "about as welcome as a fart in a space suit."

[ScooterMcTavish]

Anyone here use a digital SLR? Looking at finally getting away from super-zoom digital cameras, and wondering if anyone else here likes photography.

You can just compose a scene better, get depth of field, avoid pincusnioning, and work with less photo noise with a digital SLR.

Haven't really taken many "good" photos since my kids were young, and it sounds like it would be a fun hobby after a 10 year hiatus.