Joke: Moby Dick Gets Schooled At Augusta

[EmperorPenguin]

I heard this joke today on the course during a wait on the tee. It is quite funny as well as enlightening. This is the joke to the best of my recollection.

 

Dick, the newest member of Augusta National, arrived at the club to play golf. He was by himself and Billy Payne met him in the pro shop and kindly asked him to play golf with Mr. Graves, who originally had a foursome, but one member was sick and could not play, and they wanted to play a four-ball match. Dick, very well aware that Augusta is run like a dictatorship, did not decline Billy.

 

Dick meets Mr. Graves, who is an old man nearly twenty years older. Mr. Graves was very excited to have a new partner in Dick, and was very warming and gracious enough to introduce him to his playing partners. On the first tee they were establishing a bet.

 

"Five, five five?" asks one. Mr. Graves answers, "That will be just fine. It will be Dick and I versus you two, and everyone gets their strokes where they fall." The match begins and fast-forward a few hours to the 18th green. Dick and Mr. Graves won all the originals and one press, but Dick was appalled when he learned that the stakes were for only five dollars a side. Disgusted by his nominal winnings of only twenty bucks he was not a modest winner and embarrassed Mr. Graves when he did not give eye contact to the losing opponents and nearly refused to shake their hands, declining to have lunch with them after the round.

 

After the losing team departed from the green, Mr. Graves wanted a word with Dick.

 

"Son," asked Mr. Graves. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," shrugged Dick.

Mr. Graves could easily see that something was wrong. "Come on, speak up."

Dick lets out the truth: "I thought we were playing for bigger stakes. I don't play for less than three thousand dollars. I play big, big money matches with high-rollers all the time, and I've played with the Ceasar's boys for up to ten thousand a stroke--why do you think they call me Moby Dick? I just played at perhaps the most elite club in the world for twenty lousy dollars. I was expecting more from you guys."

Mr. Graves' warm, cheerful smile vanished and his tone changed. "Son, if you don't mind my asking you, what is your net worth?"

Dick looked him straight in the face and boldly answered, "About fifty million."

Mr. Graves, undaunted, got in his face sternly and challenged him: "I'll flip you for it."