what is the funniest thing u have ever seen on a golf course

[smarshal75]

I once watched a drunk foursome playing "Days of Thunder" in there golf carts. As a result of a poorly timed bump, one cart rolled off a small concrete bridge into a pond. There is nothing like watching two grown men drag their drunk azzs out of pond and then try to find all of the clubs that dumped out in the water.

 

Same round, watched a drunk member of my own foursome dribble a drive off the blue tee, short of the ladies box... he played the remainder of the hole, schlong out.

[Bridgestone4life]

Sharting one has is for me!!!LOL

[dlhunter42]

Another couple:

 

I had a buddy who decided he wanted to play golf with us one Saturday. So, knowing he was coming, I bought an exploding golf ball. Now, this guy led a pretty "sheltered" life so he was easy to talk into letting me tee his ball up for him. So, we are standing around the 1st tee with about 10 other groups teeing off. He rares back and cuts his driver loose and the ball just disappears in a cloud. He turns around and with a straight face says, "Man did you see that? That ball just broke." About 30 guys were rolling around on the ground laughing. Coincidentally, that was his one good swing of the day. ;)

[axeman310]

I have a golf cart gone astray story

 

A couple of years ago I played with a few of my friends in my neighbor's church's scramble deally at a really beat up muni that I had never been to. The ninth hole had a elevated tee with a completely blind shot because the fairway was over a bunch of trees and marsh. TO find out where to aim, we sent my buddy down the path to find out. After about five minutes we hear a faint yell of "help" in the distance. We drove down to find my friend standing on the cart path, his cart almost in the marsh, held up by a single mangrove plant. Apparently, after he checked the fairway, he threw the cart into reverse, but hit a hill which made him lose control. The funny part is, we drove up to the clubhouse to get some help, and the guy working there said he wanted to leave the cart there because "it looked cool." I guess the course had enough spare change to sacrifice a cart for the sake of the hole looking like something out of the Disney jungle ride, but not enough to get the course into any good shape.

[MCDavis]

Whenever I first started playing, we always played a little 9 hole course in my home town. Hole 9 was an uphill slight dogleg left par 4. I hit my drive too far right and was blocked by some trees. I figured, "hell I can pull off this shot." So of course I decided to hit through these trees to the green. I hit one of the trees dead center and the ball came right back at me. I dove out of the way, and my ball flew straight behind me into a water hazard. The partners loved that shot.

 

Read from the top...I feel your pain ;)

[puremoney]

these stories are hilarious

[squash3b]

Taking the "shart" reference further. I know of a guy who had that same problem, but was wearing white pants. Since the foursome was on a hole with a creek, he decides to jump out, run to the stream and remove his pants and underwear and then proceeds to beat his clothes on a rock. He then got dressed again and finished his round. If you knew this guy, you would believe it. He once played a hole naked (actually it was the same hole) on a dare.

[squash3b]

Another story...same club. During the round, a regular foursome of very competitive, gambling types had their usual bets and one of the characters suspects another player of cheating around hole #5, but does not say anything. Slowly, hole by hole, the player who is sure the other guy cheated gets more and more angry, but continues to keep it bottled in. Finally, when they get to 12, rather than confront the guy about what he did he waits until the ball is teed and he walks over while the guy is addressing it and just starts peeing right on the ball. He never said a word, finished up and went back to the cart. Crazy.

[squash3b]

Ok, last one, same club. A few of the same characters were at the bar after the round and they were talking about levels of fitness or lack there of. One guy who is in his fifties and not overweight, but not afraid to have a few wines either, declared that he could run non-stop from the bottom of our driving range to the top. (For refererence, the range is about 380 yards long and drops down by about 40-50 feet, so it is quite steep). The entire bar takes one side of the bet or the other and we are off to see how this will play out. The guy starts out great and is cruising, probably too fast for at least 300 yards, with 80 yards to go it looks like no problem. There is a stone wall at the top of the range and all he has to do is touch it without stopping. He has literally 15 yards of mostly flat ground left when he just collapses and passes out. After a brief pause, he is back and not sure of what happened. Needless to say, the entire range is filled with guys laughing so hard they are falling over.

[The Big Pinch]

I was golfing with my brother inlaw Jim and his father at Diamondback GC in Fla. We had lunch at the turn and were heading back out when Jim says to his dad " Aren't you forgetting something "? Jim's dad says no so we proceed. I ask Jim whats up and simply says "you'll see". We are approaching our second shots on #11 when Jim's dad gets this worried look on his face. He quickly heads into the bushes. I ask Jim whats up and he say's "my dad allways has to take a shizzle after he eats, I was hoping he would take care of it before we went back out". Next thing I see is Jim's dad's bald head and knees poking out out of some bushes at which time he asks "Donny can I borrow your towel"? Jim and I fell out laughing. Jim's dad passed a short time after that trip...I miss "The Chief".

[raidernut1234]

OK, here's my second one. Playing front Nine at my Club iin August '03 with a buddy who I had never beaten out of more than $ 4 bucks. going into the 9th hole... I am up $ 45 DOLLARS and he's steaming (I had won/pressed everything). 9th is 215 slight downhill par 3 with a 3-4 foot deep pond on right side of the green. I am already pin high w/a 20' putt. He slices it into the water. We walk over to the pond, He says "my balls short here somewhere". I say.. "It's right there at the bottom, I can see your line on it." and turn to walk to the green. I here him say "I want that F*^%ing ball back.", and turn just in time to see him WALK right in to the water (with his Brand NEW Footjoys on, by the way), PICKUP his ball, wade thru the water, and walk right into the bar and order a pitcher of Margaritas. We were laughing so hard, we barely putted out, and scrambled INSIDE into the bar, where he was sitting there dripping wet, drinking his Margi!!! Being the nice guy I am, i made him spend the $ 45 on a few more pitchers. This story now follows him to every local golf course he plays... Including his New country club.

[CGB]

I was playing in a high school match a few years back against this really small school in Northern Illinois (where i'm from). This school was bad. Real bad. So bad that I played 3 years on the varsity, and they were the only team we ever actually did beat. For 3 years straight. Anyway, the two kids from that school were clearly not getting along, and were chirping little comments throughout the nine holes. It made for a really awkward round.

 

Finally, on the 8th fairway, the one kid had had enough. He dropped his sticks and said "you know what, thats it, lets go" and put up his fists like he was going to throw down. The other kid took out a 5-iron and started swinging the butt end at him. The other guy did the same, and they eventually ended up on the ground throwing fists. After a couple minutes of bewilderment from my playing partner and I, they got tired and stopped.

 

Turns out they were brothers.

 

Seriously.

[Rich71691]

what school?

[F4unknown]

I was playing in a high school match a few years back against this really small school in Northern Illinois (where i'm from). This school was bad. Real bad. So bad that I played 3 years on the varsity, and they were the only team we ever actually did beat. For 3 years straight. Anyway, the two kids from that school were clearly not getting along, and were chirping little comments throughout the nine holes. It made for a really awkward round.

 

Finally, on the 8th fairway, the one kid had had enough. He dropped his sticks and said "you know what, thats it, lets go" and put up his fists like he was going to throw down. The other kid took out a 5-iron and started swinging the butt end at him. The other guy did the same, and they eventually ended up on the ground throwing fists. After a couple minutes of bewilderment from my playing partner and I, they got tired and stopped.

 

Turns out they were brothers.

 

Seriously.

hahahah man I love yours

[CGB]

They were from Harvard HS

 

They were the Hornets, I believe...or the yellow jackets...or the bumble bees, I can't really remember

[axeman310]

I have a story kind of similar to that. At practice one day when I was a sophomore, four of us were playing a 2v2 best ball. I was on the team with my buddy Dale and this other kids were a junior that everybody thought was pretty annoying and a senior. After the third hole which was a par 3 over water that Dale didnt do so well on (we still won the hole though), the junior started hurling insults at Dale. On the fourth teebox, he was being even more annoying and after Dale spat a comment back about him hitting a bad drive, the kid started trying to smack him in the jewels with the butt of his driver. DAle grabbed the club, thre it in the woods, smaked the crap outta the kid and kicked his bag down a hill into a small creek. Me and the other kid in the group just looked at each other not knowing whether to laugh or be scared.

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

I have a story kind of similar to that. At practice one day when I was a sophomore, four of us were playing a 2v2 best ball. I was on the team with my buddy Dale and this other kids were a junior that everybody thought was pretty annoying and a senior. After the third hole which was a par 3 over water that Dale didnt do so well on (we still won the hole though), the junior started hurling insults at Dale. On the fourth teebox, he was being even more annoying and after Dale spat a comment back about him hitting a bad drive, the kid started trying to smack him in the jewels with the butt of his driver. DAle grabbed the club, thre it in the woods, smaked the crap outta the kid and kicked his bag down a hill into a small creek. Me and the other kid in the group just looked at each other not knowing whether to laugh or be scared.

 

 

So let me get this straight . . . Aim for the package = get b**** slapped and lose your clubs.

 

 

Yep, sounds about right to me.

[sticky]

Tie for 1st:

 

A. We were playing a muni in Tacoma on #18 of a twilight round. I call over to my buddy who happens to be setting up his final approach shot of the round and ask him if the sprinklers are coming on soon. He replies "not for another hour". I ask him if he is sure and he smartly says "I've played here since I was ten, I know this place like the back of my hand..." No sooner than that a sprinkler head pops out of the ground right behind him and shoots him right up the back door. Honest to God. You couldn't have set it up better. I just about peed my pants I laughed so hard.

 

B. I have a prosthetic right eye and if I spin it upside down, my pupil points directly out to the side. We had a few beers in us on a really slow day at a nice course outside of Bellevue. This marshal comes up a yells at us to pick up play but we're waiting just like everyone else. The second time he comes around I tell my buddy to watch as I slip my eye upside down and drop my shades over my eyes. The marshal comes up to the green we're walking off and gives us the same line about speeding up when I look hard left in my good eye, flip up my shades and with a straight face and both eyes facing outward tell him "We'd play quicker but I just can't find the line with my putter!" That marshal looked like he had seen a ghost. We never saw him again and I can pretty much guarantee that he has never seen another golfer farther from being crosseyed than me. I can hardly putt ever since because I always think about that day.

[wcurrin]

A little long, but you have to get the whole picture...

 

One of the funniest things I have ever seen on a golf course was growing up, my dad was a golf pro, we had a member of the club who was a 4'11' oriental man named Dr. Kim. He is one of those guys who has been living here for 25 years but you can still barely undertand what he says....anyway, every time he plays golf he wears ALL white, pants, shirt, socks, hat(safari style), belt, the works...anyway, one morning he tees off at about 8:30 in the all white get up, 45 minutes later he truges back into the proshop covered head to toe in mud, he looked like the swamp thing(other than being 5 feet tall..) he walks in the door and says "I so sorry...I drove a cart in de swamp" and sure enough we ride out 2 number 3 and the only thing we can see is the roof of the cart and like 4 clubs that he managed to salvage. it was hilarious.