Hate work

[MoneyPlayer33]

Hey guys this is a question I have about a friend of mine that I am concerned about . My friend hates working so much I think it's causing him serious mental problems (and he has a good job making good money) . Ever since we were kids he hated work and would change jobs all the time . Now his entire personality is changing . He is a 4 handicap and I can't even get him to play anymore . He literally works and sleeps says he lost interest in golf cause he has to get up to early .

 

He told me when he leaves work on Friday instead of being excited for weekend he just dreads Monday and stresses about it . I told him maybe he shud open his own business like I have and he said doesn't matter know matter what I do I hate going to work.

 

Anyways I am concerned for him he doesn't golf anymore , no more gym (prob gained 30 lbs last 2 yrs ) and just seems miserable . My ? Is does any1 if this is a real condition and what I can do to help him . I mean we all have to work so how does he escape this problem .

 

Thanks in advance

[hammy83]

That's not hating work... that's hating life. Sounds like your friend is suffering from depression.... I've been there, it sucks. Tell him to go talk to a professional as it can get out of hand quickly.

[golfandfishing]

That's depression. He needs some help and meds. Depression is a chemical imbalance in his body, it can be fixed. Might be as simple as low T. You are going to lose your friend (one way or another) if he doesn't get help, it won't fix itself.

[GooseHook]

That's depression. He needs some help and meds. Depression is a chemical imbalance in his body, it can be fixed. Might be as simple as low T. You are going to lose your friend (one way or another) if he doesn't get help, it won't fix itself.

 

No doubt something related to one or both of those.

 

The grind gets to all of us and some just need a vacation to recharge, but it's not that simple for others. He needs to talk to someone about this. Tell him you're concerned and that you're there for support- I know firsthand that the one phrase he doesn't want to hear from anyone is "cheer up."

[One_Putt_Blunder]

Ill give another angle to the op's friends problem

 

I have worked in the insurance industry for a while now. Most of it was in a call center for a large national personal lines carrier. I loved my job very little stress the main mission was to focus on the policyholder and to resolve their issues in one call. Very relaxed atmosphere with easy to obtain call metrics and goals. I ended up having to go out on disability for much of 2012 for hip replacements. Before I left for surgery things started to change from a relaxed customer first environment to a severely micromanaged hell hole. I wont bore you with all the details.

 

Fast forward to my return. After having 9 months off with my days free to plan as I wish around my rehab visits and gym time during recovery. I returned to work and the entire place had changed. Employees were no longer happy to be there, management had become so pressured from above to conform to the new standard managers were stepping down. All of our metrics were slashed by 60% or so. If we had to use the personal time code on our phones to use the restrooms we were grilled over why it couldn't wait until break etc. The place that I enjoyed working was now pure hell. Im normally a pretty stress free laid back dude. All of the sudden when I would get up in the morning I had terrible anxiety that just got worse. Eventually it got to the point where my heart would start racing and I would feel ill when I pulled into the parking lot. The ultimate kicker for me was one of the more senior and respected managers who stepped down from management back onto the phones just to try and ride out his last 2 years until retirement had to be carted out in an ambulance because of a stress induced heart attack. I looked at it like do I stay here with the highest paying insurance company in the area and drive my self to meds and or health issues or do I find something else.

 

I ended up leaving that company and going to work for a locally owned agent for another big insurance carrier. While the money is close it is still a pay cut, but I work half a mile from home instead of 32 miles each way and only work M-F with holidays off. Dont have to deal with any of the BS working in that micro managed hell. My life has been so much better after I made that decisions. I have also started to work on some industry related programs to change over into commercial lines underwriting so I can move behind the scenes and seriously increase my income.

 

Everyone's situation is different but it sounds like your friend needs to do some serious soul searching along with seeking the help of a professional he can discuss his life with.

[kmbean]

Good read there OnePutt I can relate.

[crich88848]

I agree with the previously posted sentiments. Your friend is heading down a dangerous rabbit hole. You have realized this problem, and you should do everything in your power to help him. It sounds like he is slipping into a serious depression. He needs help now before its too late.

[Wriggles]

Ill give another angle to the op's friends problem

 

I have worked in the insurance industry for a while now. Most of it was in a call center for a large national personal lines carrier. I loved my job very little stress the main mission was to focus on the policyholder and to resolve their issues in one call. Very relaxed atmosphere with easy to obtain call metrics and goals. I ended up having to go out on disability for much of 2012 for hip replacements. Before I left for surgery things started to change from a relaxed customer first environment to a severely micromanaged hell hole. I wont bore you with all the details.

 

Fast forward to my return. After having 9 months off with my days free to plan as I wish around my rehab visits and gym time during recovery. I returned to work and the entire place had changed. Employees were no longer happy to be there, management had become so pressured from above to conform to the new standard managers were stepping down. All of our metrics were slashed by 60% or so. If we had to use the personal time code on our phones to use the restrooms we were grilled over why it couldn't wait until break etc. The place that I enjoyed working was now pure hell. Im normally a pretty stress free laid back dude. All of the sudden when I would get up in the morning I had terrible anxiety that just got worse. Eventually it got to the point where my heart would start racing and I would feel ill when I pulled into the parking lot. The ultimate kicker for me was one of the more senior and respected managers who stepped down from management back onto the phones just to try and ride out his last 2 years until retirement had to be carted out in an ambulance because of a stress induced heart attack. I looked at it like do I stay here with the highest paying insurance company in the area and drive my self to meds and or health issues or do I find something else.

 

I ended up leaving that company and going to work for a locally owned agent for another big insurance carrier. While the money is close it is still a pay cut, but I work half a mile from home instead of 32 miles each way and only work M-F with holidays off. Dont have to deal with any of the BS working in that micro managed hell. My life has been so much better after I made that decisions. I have also started to work on some industry related programs to change over into commercial lines underwriting so I can move behind the scenes and seriously increase my income.

 

Everyone's situation is different but it sounds like your friend needs to do some serious soul searching along with seeking the help of a professional he can discuss his life with.

 

Back in the 1970's, I worked at a blue collar steel industry job. Due to layoffs, I went from doing machine shop work in a humane department to another department where forced overtime was a routine. Initially, the foreman would ask employees if they wished to work over or on Saturday or Sunday. For a few weeks, it was great to get additional time. One Thursday, I told the boss I didn't want to work Saturday. My name was put on the mandatory overtime schedule. From that time on, mandatory overtime was the routine. As time went on, 12 hour days, 7 day weeks were the norm. The all powerful union approved this company policy. I clocked 168 days straight without a day off. One year, I was advised first to waiver my two weeks vacation, and then told I HAD to take my vacation when on Army Reserve Summer Camp. I refused to do either, the union did back me up on that, but after that I was a marked man.

 

I worked an additional three years at that place before I just walked out. No one wants to quit their job, especially if the salary is good. But sometimes, it's the only way. I was young; I can only imagine what stress and physical exhaustion the older men were experiencing. I'll mention another company policy. Steel mills get hot in the summer, and very cold in the winter. Summer heat can only be endured, but cold is different. In my first department, the work areas were sufficiently heated, but the second, NO heat was provided in the winter. My work station was by an inner wall; ice would form on that inner wall. When I contacted the union, I was told the company doesn't have to provide heat, dress accordingly.

 

For me, the inhumane conditions gave me the initiative to finish college, and ultimately become a self employed CPA. I won't call myself a financial success, or any type of success, but self employment is the best job of all.

 

Anyhow, the fellow the OP describes probably suffers from depression. But, from experience, most people hate their jobs, unless they're the ones making others miserable.

[doublepar93]

As someone who suffers from severe depression, from my perspective, your friend is dealing with the exact same thing. I had gotten to a point where I figured I would never be happy no matter what happened, and once a person hits that point, life can be bad. I used to go on a vacation such as a beach trip, and could be standing in paradise, still considering ending it all. I've found the perfect medication setup, and exercise about 5 days a week, and life is still tough sometimes,but infinitely better than it was. Maybe your friend could benefit from some counseling or medication the way I have.

[fufu]

I can relate. I'm active military, just passed 17 years in the service. For the last 7 or so, its been very hard. After my initial enlistment, I wanted to separate and go do something else with my life. Well, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from a good paying job with benefits...especially considering my wife was a full-time student and my son was a newborn. So, I decided to try for a new base, which I got.

 

By the time my 2nd enlistment was up, I was "in too deep" to leave so I re-up'd again. But, I hated my job, hated waking up each morning and struggled with my "purpose". That continued for years....from roughly 2008 to 2014. In 2014, I get drunk, pulled my pistol out of the night stand went back to the living room and decided I was done. I came very close to pulling the trigger, but decided that I need help. So, I started counseling. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but my therapist was anti-medication. It was rough for about a year, the wife and I separated (my choice) as I needed to figure somethings out. We reunited last July and things have been great. I learned to cope with the hatred of my job and focus on the things I can control in my life. I used to emotionally "take work home" with me but now I leave that s*** here and do what I can to make thru each day. Now, my sole focus is on bettering the life of those around me at work, getting my bachelors degree done and preparing myself for retirement.

[crich88848]

I can relate. I'm active military, just passed 17 years in the service. For the last 7 or so, its been very hard. After my initial enlistment, I wanted to separate and go do something else with my life. Well, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from a good paying job with benefits...especially considering my wife was a full-time student and my son was a newborn. So, I decided to try for a new base, which I got.

 

By the time my 2nd enlistment was up, I was "in too deep" to leave so I re-up'd again. But, I hated my job, hated waking up each morning and struggled with my "purpose". That continued for years....from roughly 2008 to 2014. In 2014, I get drunk, pulled my pistol out of the night stand went back to the living room and decided I was done. I came very close to pulling the trigger, but decided that I need help. So, I started counseling. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but my therapist was anti-medication. It was rough for about a year, the wife and I separated (my choice) as I needed to figure somethings out. We reunited last July and things have been great. I learned to cope with the hatred of my job and focus on the things I can control in my life. I used to emotionally "take work home" with me but now I leave that s*** here and do what I can to make thru each day. Now, my sole focus is on bettering the life of those around me at work, getting my bachelors degree done and preparing myself for retirement.

 

Did you ever think of reclassifying to something you wouldn't hate so much?

[fufu]

I can relate. I'm active military, just passed 17 years in the service. For the last 7 or so, its been very hard. After my initial enlistment, I wanted to separate and go do something else with my life. Well, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from a good paying job with benefits...especially considering my wife was a full-time student and my son was a newborn. So, I decided to try for a new base, which I got.

 

By the time my 2nd enlistment was up, I was "in too deep" to leave so I re-up'd again. But, I hated my job, hated waking up each morning and struggled with my "purpose". That continued for years....from roughly 2008 to 2014. In 2014, I get drunk, pulled my pistol out of the night stand went back to the living room and decided I was done. I came very close to pulling the trigger, but decided that I need help. So, I started counseling. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but my therapist was anti-medication. It was rough for about a year, the wife and I separated (my choice) as I needed to figure somethings out. We reunited last July and things have been great. I learned to cope with the hatred of my job and focus on the things I can control in my life. I used to emotionally "take work home" with me but now I leave that s*** here and do what I can to make thru each day. Now, my sole focus is on bettering the life of those around me at work, getting my bachelors degree done and preparing myself for retirement.

 

Did you ever think of reclassifying to something you wouldn't hate so much?

 

I tried a few times but continually got denied. I've been at the same base for the last 11 years and will likely finish my career here. I've had orders twice, but both sets were denied. I was diagnosed with a medical condition in 2014(Ulcerative Colitis) and then Hashimoto's Disease in Feb of this year. Those conditions prevent me from PCSing, deploying and going TDY outside the US. Why I haven't been medically retired, I don't know. So, they keep paying me, I keep showing up.

[crich88848]

I can relate. I'm active military, just passed 17 years in the service. For the last 7 or so, its been very hard. After my initial enlistment, I wanted to separate and go do something else with my life. Well, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from a good paying job with benefits...especially considering my wife was a full-time student and my son was a newborn. So, I decided to try for a new base, which I got.

 

By the time my 2nd enlistment was up, I was "in too deep" to leave so I re-up'd again. But, I hated my job, hated waking up each morning and struggled with my "purpose". That continued for years....from roughly 2008 to 2014. In 2014, I get drunk, pulled my pistol out of the night stand went back to the living room and decided I was done. I came very close to pulling the trigger, but decided that I need help. So, I started counseling. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but my therapist was anti-medication. It was rough for about a year, the wife and I separated (my choice) as I needed to figure somethings out. We reunited last July and things have been great. I learned to cope with the hatred of my job and focus on the things I can control in my life. I used to emotionally "take work home" with me but now I leave that s*** here and do what I can to make thru each day. Now, my sole focus is on bettering the life of those around me at work, getting my bachelors degree done and preparing myself for retirement.

 

Did you ever think of reclassifying to something you wouldn't hate so much?

 

I tried a few times but continually got denied. I've been at the same base for the last 11 years and will likely finish my career here. I've had orders twice, but both sets were denied. I was diagnosed with a medical condition in 2014(Ulcerative Colitis) and then Hashimoto's Disease in Feb of this year. Those conditions prevent me from PCSing, deploying and going TDY outside the US. Why I haven't been medically retired, I don't know. So, they keep paying me, I keep showing up.

 

Sorry to hear that man. Good luck! And thanks for your service.

[MoneyPlayer33]

Thanks to all who replied much apprecited . I was able to get my buddy out for a round next week and i am gonna talk to him amd express my concerns i just hope he Dosent get offended