I Can't Stand Playing Golf With My Father!

[samm980]

Anyone should cherish the time they get to spend playing golf with their father, my dad and I used to play together all the time but though we live close by our schedules don't afford us much golf together.

 

I also don't mean to get off on a rant but I see this Junior Forum and I see how lucky these juniors are with their clubs and don't even get me started on their cars! They have NO RIGHT to complain one bit about their parents. A little perspective goes a long way.

[sheppy335]

I miss playing with my pop. Although he could frustrate me i would love to have him back to play one more round, a long round maybe 7200 holes.

[lars]

its funny because I was just reading extrordinary golf and it just adresses this issue. it is focused on couple (husband/wife) playing together coaching etc, but could be applied to parents/siblings etc.

 

go pick up a copy and look through pages 100-115 or so.

 

basically its about setting ground rules for when coaching/advice is/isnt allowed to make playing w/ family more enjoyable.

 

hope this helps.

 

L

[skinkman]

you've gotten very sound advise from a lot of well meaning people. However, i feel there is another element to this.

Basically, your enjoyment of the game is being affected by your father's attitude and the above advise is all wonderful..but think about these two also.

 

1. You can either not take your Dad's comments to heart.

 

2. Since you seem close to him, you can have a heart to heart chat with him in a respectful manner

about how he affects your game and your enjoyment on the course. Basically asking him to stop playing Dad on the golf course, at the range or practice area is one thing, but when you get on the course, he should extend the same common etiquette of the game to you as he will to any other player he has never met before. No advise unless you ask, No commentary on your shot selection nor execution. Of course, after the round is another thing. He can give advise on something he saw and thinks you could do better at next time. After the round.

 

above all find a way to enjoy golf with him. It should not feel like hard work. You could always caddy for him rather than playing with him, if all the advise on here do not help at all. Take a play break..but still spend time with him...

[emc]

I used play real bad with my dad, but now I just get in my own little zone and play like I always do. Now he complains about how far I hit it (even though he's long) and how he can't concentrate when playing with me!

[bjackson]

dad doesn't play....so i guess I don't have the problem you do!

[JKB]

My Dad Helps my swing and is Scratch sooo he helps me out

[dougie189]

I like spending time play golf with my Dad. However, I get really frustrated and annoyed because he gets annoyed really easily at things he does sometimes (even though he does get the chance to play very often at all - ~10times a year - but still keeps a good 16 hcp), but he always make really annoying comments when I hit a bad shot/putt or lip out

[packerfan1]

Enjoy any time on the course with your Dad. Mine got polio when he was four and was never really able to get out on a course by the time I rolled along into his life...so I never got to play golf with him. Now he is in his 70's and bedridden and I wish that I could play just one round with him!

 

It isn't always about competition where golf is concerned, especially when playing with friends or fathers...sometimes it is important to stop and smell the roses. Hard to do at your age, admittedly, but try.

 

I take two of my 3 boys every week to the course (one doesn't like golf, which is OK), I try to help their game, but when you are a high 90's golfer like me I tell them that you don't belong giving much advice...I always tell them to just enjoy themselves and that it is a game!

 

You might try nicely and respectfully telling your dad how you feel...watch your tone and demeanor, maybe he will listen to you.

 

You will cherish the memories years later...trust me!

[samm980]

Enjoy any time on the course with your Dad. Mine got polio when he was four and was never really able to get out on a course by the time I rolled along into his life...so I never got to play golf with him. Now he is in his 70's and bedridden and I wish that I could play just one round with him!

 

It isn't always about competition where golf is concerned, especially when playing with friends or fathers...sometimes it is important to stop and smell the roses. Hard to do at your age, admittedly, but try.

 

I take two of my 3 boys every week to the course (one doesn't like golf, which is OK), I try to help their game, but when you are a high 90's golfer like me I tell them that you don't belong giving much advice...I always tell them to just enjoy themselves and that it is a game!

 

You might try nicely and respectfully telling your dad how you feel...watch your tone and demeanor, maybe he will listen to you.

 

You will cherish the memories years later...trust me!

 

 

 

Packerfan that is a fantastic first post, that should be required reading right there.

[drewspin]

Wow. Lots of great advice here. Here's mine:

 

1) Give your Dads some major props for being out there with you.

 

2) So your Dad hits your ball, walks in your line, talks in your swing, steps on your ball, or constantly can't find his. It is YOUR CHOICE whether or not to let these things bother you. If you play golf long enough all kinds of people you play with will do these things, but especially since it's your Dad , make the choice to let it go.

 

Try to understand that most Dad's LOVE being able to play with their sons and daughters and only want to see you play well. Yes, maybe they want this too much sometimes and give you too much advice.

 

You might try saying something like this:

 

Dad, I love the time we spend on the golf course and I really want to remember these times when I am older as being very happy whether I play well or poorly. I'd just like to relax and play with you without [so much advice], and I think I would play better that way too. How does that sound?

[TM golf guy]

My dad is my favorite person to play golf with. Alot of my really low rounds have been with him. There is nothing like spending time with your dad. Treasure it.

[maguy1970]

I have found that the golf course provides a place where father and son can truly become friends. Right when I picked the game back up after taking ages 12-18 off, when I got back from college, rounds with golf were great with my father. Our golf led us to be much closer.

 

I have to tell you guys about what I did to the poor guy though, i think it's hilarious:

After college, I played in the minors (hockey) for 4 years. I was lucky to play in southern climates mostly and since you only practice 1-2 hours a day, it leaves a lot of free time. My golf game took off, well for me, I went from a 18 to around a 10. My folks spend the winter in Fort Myers. After each season in the cocktail leagues, I would meet my father in FL and we would drive his car back up the coast, playing our way north. The first year we did it, I thumped him 5 consecutive rounds. So as a father's day "gift" I went and bought a giant map of the US and cut out the east coast. Using a highlighter, I traced our route on the map. I made sure to pick up extra cards at each course as well as keep every card from our journey. I took some effort and time to clearly mark a new card with our scores from each round, then printed out brief 2 paragraph recaps of how he lost to me at each course. I mounted each of these cards and recaps on a balck border and pasted on map with arrows pointing to where each course was and then framed it. It still sits on the wall of his home office and I will not allow him to take it down. Still to this day, when the wife and I go over for dinner or something, I will bring up some of those rounds and go read aloud what happened at Harbour Town or TPC Tampa... Always brings a chuckle!!!

 

Next time I am at the house I will take a pic of the map for you, it makes a SUPER father's day gift!

[Swooshdaddy]

This is a great topic here...

I used to feel the same way about my dad, and not just with golf. My dad picked on everything I did, how I did it, or why I did anything! Funny, because if anyone else said the same stuff, you'd listen and take that advice, but when it's your Pops, it's just irritating! Well, let me tell you, it NEVER stops. I'm 35 now, have kids of my own, and I still get the same treatment. Last time we played, I shot 73, he shot 87, and all I heard was how bad I putted, or why I hit driver on this hole or that one. But you know what? It's the fact that we still play together... Me, my Pops, and my 2 brothers. It's our regular sunday foursome. And we wouldn't have it any other way. It was great when we were together to see our Dad make his first hole in one, or my first sub-par round, or anything else. Yeah, he gets annoying, and picks on us, but now we just laugh! Well that, and we step up to the tee box, and all outdrive him by 50 or 100 yards! Haha!

[Ditty_72]

My dad isn't the best golfer (he's only broken 90 once in his life), but he's full of advice. Some useful, some not so useful, but I actually really enjoy playing with him because he's known my game longer than anyone else. One thing I especially like is his putting- he's a great putter, and tells me stuff about it that usually help. Coincidently, we were just talking about that before I went on the computer- he saw me practicing putting and helped me out. He's a great guy when he's not mad (but stay away as soon as he gets home from work lol).

 

Just try to enjoy it I guess- I hope to share the game with my kids when I have them, and my grandkids as well when I have them.

[PingManCrusher]

I love my father dearly but playing golf with him is just enough to drive me insane. My father played golf back in the 80's a ton until his temper got the best of him and he just quit. I found his clubs 1 year ago and he has tought me to play. He got my swing started and i have had 4 lesson. 2 from our local pro and 2 from Gail Peterson at Sea Island, GA. Anyway, i cant stand him giving me advice when we are playing. UGHHHHH. There is nothing like needing to hit a great 4 iron, the pressure making you srew up something, and then dear old dad telling you what went wrong the second after the plunges into the water 50 yards in front of the tee. He won't let me tell him the million things wrong with his swing but he will feel free to make me pissed when we are playing. Especially in competition, parents arent supposed to talk to you but that is B.S. He tells me everything i do wrong in a hushed yell. I'm think im gonna go crazy but I just Listen-mostly to humor him, and remind myself i wouldn't be where i am without these agrivating tips, and there would be no ride to the golf course without my father. But at least the information isnt cript up... Oh yea anothor thing, Ill go to hit a shot and ill hit an iron off the tee so i will have a full wedge into a green instead of the risk of hiting a driver and losing it, or being left with an impossible 43 yard pitch. His reamarks are " how are you ever going to learn golf hiting little baby pansy clubs off the tee." Say i hit a shot with a seven iron to advance it out of a bad lie and his reamrk would be, "why dont you hit a 3 wood, how are you ever going to learn anything hitting little baby pansy clubs from decent lies like that" It wasnt a decent lie. The man has the worst course management ever. His layup on a par five would be however far right or left or shot or long of the green his next shot ends up.

 

But I still love him.

[proknows]

My Dream Round would be to play golf with my Father again. Learn to say "your right Dad". If him saying a few comments ruins your time, you should spend some time learning to block distractions. My Dad used to yell in our back swing, comment on all shots, step on our ball, etc... Moral of the story: My Brother and I are both Golf Professionals. My Dad passed away last year, but I can still hear him commenting when I hit a bad shot.

[Pro_V1[x]]

Golf has brought my Dad and I close together. I just turned 18, but when I was younger my Dad and I would fight alot. My parents split up when I was about 6, and there were a few years where my Dad and I didnt even speak. But ever since I started playing about a year and 1/2 ago, we have grown very close. Sometimes when im having a bad round or ive hit a bad shot he will make comments which I kno hes trying to help but they end up just pissing me off. After awhile ive just learned to block it out and enjoy our time together, and realize that hes only trying to help. And sometimes.. his comments actually help me get back on track. Now that i am able to play with some of his business partners, and friends its nice to see a whole new side of him. We like to give eachother a hard time esp. when money is on the line. And when I play in tournaments there isnt another person id rather have on the bag.

 

(cool)

[asitlies]

Enjoy the time you have with your father. He's not out there to hurt you. You've been his best friend since you were born and he loves you. One day you'll look back hopefully without a tear in your eye and wish you could be back on the course with him.

 

Now go and hug your father and thank him for being there for you.

 

I have to admit, I almost cried reading that quote. My father died Nov. 12, 2004 - he brought me to the game, taught me the game, and watched me finally get better than him. A few great memories:

 

Going to the range with my father while my brothers didn't want to - I got to be with him, they were too cool.

 

Playing on a course for the first time with him - I was 10 years old - I made a par on the 3rd hole - a par 3, where I hit driver into the wrong fairway - which hit a maintenance vehicle, then hit my approach to 3 feet, and made the putt.

 

Having cancer surgery in April 1995, waking up, and having the Master's on the TV, about a foot from my bed - he was there, and made sure it was on, even when I was out like a light.

 

Getting a ride home after being cleared to exercise after my surgery - and having my father go straight to the driving range. I couldn't take full swings, but it was a great moment in my life.

 

Watching Arnold Palmer come off the 13th at Augusta, getting a standing ovation - one year later (after my surgery) and realizing that one of the reason's my father took up the game, was because of Arnie and his influence on America - I got chills.

 

Playing with him in my clubs 50th annual member/guest, and getting smoked by a couple of hacks.

 

Watching him watch me put a club in my daughter's hands for the first time - she's 9 now, and couldn't care less - but what a natural swing!

 

Talking golf, and watching it on TV from HIS hospital bed, as his time was winding down.

 

Every time I put on a pair of horrendously bad plaid pants to go somewhere - it's really a tribute to him.

 

Try to forgive him, he's not trying to be a pain in the azz - he just wants you to have better, and be better than he. Plus - you could use at as a focus exercise - don't let him in your head - imagine that he's an opponent who is doing things to annoy you - slow playing you, etc...

[scottyallanb]

This is a really great post. I just wanted to add a few things.

 

Growing up my dad was always tuff on me. On the course I not only had my DAD on me but my grand father also. I learned a lot from both of them. I am 37 now and every tournament I play in my father is at the first tee to watch me start the tournament and he is the first one I call when I am done.

 

I am now a High school golf coach and my son is 14 and plays on my team. I know I am tuff on him because how my father was on me. What really get me thou is how different my dad is with his grand son. I think all fathers learn over time that we dont do everything right. god knows I dont. Golf is a game that 4 generations can get lucky enough to play together. Try to think of another sport that does that. Christmas is right around the corner and we are all looking forward to getting all golf gifts.

 

Remember Dads can get on your nerves and do things on the course to drive you nutts. They all mean well and they all love you or they wouldnt be out there with you.

 

I thank my dad now when ever we go out with my son. To me there is nothing else in the world I would rather be doing then golfing. Guys thanks for all the posts on this topic. I enjoyed them and I am glad that I could say a few things about my golf history.

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!!!!!

[matjohns]

I can feel for you...I got all sorts of bad advice from my pop and his golf buddies when I was 14. I absolutely hated playing golf with those guys. It got to the point where it was either mow the lawn or play golf with dad and most of the time I mowed the lawn (with a push mower that was older than I was).

 

All that said, if I could go back and do it over, my answer would be the same as everyone else's - I'd have found a way to play golf with pop. It's not so much the sentimental value that was lost by not hanging out with dad but selfishly you have to think of all the opportunities you lose to play free golf. ;)

 

In all seriousness, the one lesson that we all learn sooner or later in life is that you are your sole source for happiness. Sure, if you're lucky, you can have a soulmate and great kids, but when you're out in the world, you're sorrounded by people who don't give a hoot about you. You can either let those people get you down or you -- in the words of Randy Jackson - "can do your own thing dog."

 

So aside from spending good times with pop that you'll value years later, and playing free golf while you can, the third takeaway you can gain from this experience is learning how to seperate yourself and challenge yourself irrespective of what the rest of world is saying. Which will save you thousands on a shrink 15 years from now. That's huge. My advice, find a way to make it work.

[wholeinwon]

Read "Golf is not a Game of Perfect"

 

you shouldn't even be thinking about who your playing with.

 

trust me read the book and get in a better mindframe.

[bo2484]

I am 23 and my dad and i have a great time on the course, the only thing that bugs me is that it is always the club and not him if he hits a bad shot. After reading these replies i feel for you guys that have lost your dads, but it makes me want to call mine and set up a tee time

[demps91]

Can totally relate, my dad has been playing for two years and hasnt broke 100. Every time im short of a green he wonders why I didnt take enough club. But I have seen firsthand how fast family can be ripped away from you, and I treasure the time.

[Montrove]

you really have to appreciate your time playing with you dad.

I think there is no better way to spend time with your dad, then at the links or the range. At the range, my dad and I have a great time, but when we play, he tops everything and we just laugh.

[AltusBeliever]

My stepdaughter (13) refuses to play with her dad. He ruins the experience for her with criticism and the like. She really hates for him to come watch her play, too. I think she is being too touchy. Tried to get her to change her tune by telling her that I don't like playing with my dad either (I'm 50 and his is 77) but I do it because he is my dad, he enjoys it, etc. Didn't have an effect on her position. I am afraid that this problem is going to ruin her interest in the game and she has some talent-if she would WORK at it (another topic altogether).

My advice to the original poster is to suck it up. That is what I still tell myself! I thank my dad for getting me interested in this crazy game.

[DaveyH]

Most juniours at my home club play round with there father and cheat.3 have being caught out this year already.I have played golf about 3x with my dad he quit due to his job but we used to have fun with longest drives,gir comps,Putts and we would have matchplay.I find it easier playing with people i know because i have nothing to prove.Dunno about any of you guys.

[Fernand]

Amazing topic!!

Makes me want to get a tee time with my dad right away!!

 

I'm experiencing the same feelings with my brothers too.

We're playing for about a year and a half now.

I'm clearly playing the best in my family and I hated playing golf with them a couple of months ago, but now I think it's great when they join me for a round of golf.

 

 

Thomas

[drew123]

My dad's a pro, and he's also my coach, so there is never any of that unneeded advice. I actually love playing more with him than anyone else.

[djermak]

My father introduced me to the game of golf when I was 15 and I will never be able to thank him enough for doing so. Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in what your doing that you forget about why you started or the early memories that always bring a smile. My freshman year of college I went to go play college golf a 1000 miles away from home and my dad never got to see me play some of my best golf. Many of you young golfers need to realize that your mom or dad whomever you are lucky enough to play with only tries to help to see you reach the next level. It is never to annoy you or piss you off which it may seem like at the time. I remember the greatest memory in my golf career is going to a practice round and playing for the first time with my dad in a long while and for him to see what I had accomplished on my own so far away from him...This past year I had reconstructive hip surgery from a Doctor in Vail, Colorado that has done almost all of the guys on the PGA Tour and I have relied on my father to help me regain everything that I lost from not playing. I regret that it took me until I was 21 to realize that my father was usually 99.99999% right most of the time when it came to my golf game...As many others have posted, cherish every moment with your mom or dad on the golf course!