Good Senior Golf Joke

[pdx5]

That reminds me when I called in sick to attend a golf outing at the invitation of my salesman contact. Those are always
fun with free golf, cart and dinner and drinks. I was feeling just a bit guilty for avoiding work to play golf, until who do I
see in the bar? My boss's boss! Of course I schmoozed up to him and he even bought me a drink so I did not have to use my free drink coupon!

[quote name='idrive' timestamp='1324535526' post='3974515']
My boss phoned me today

He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"

I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I

haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

I said, "Of course, what is it?"

He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome behind you."
[/quote]

[Texsport]

The 2 most heard questions on the Senior Tour...

(1) What was your name again?

(2) Where was that men's room again?

Texsport

[Nspiel58]

A golfer walks into a pyschologist's office with a duck on his head, and the psychologist asks, "What can I help you with?" The duck says, "Get this guy off my a**!"

[Pocwave]

A diehard golfer has not missed his Saturday morning teetime in over 20 years. He gets up one early Saturday morning and looks out the window.
Still dark out, howling winds, rain and hail, a garbage can blows across the street.
He dutifully gets dressed and gets in the car.
He drives to the course, dreading the morning ahead.
He finally says, "Screw it, not today." and heads home.
He gets back in to bed and spoons up to his wife.
"Man, it is miserable out there." he says to his wife.
"Can you believe my idiot husband is out there golfing in this?" is her reply.

[teevons]

Why I mow my own yard,

Lee Trevino was mowing his yard as he always does when he is home when a older lady in a shiny new Cadillac drives by and says , excuse me, do you speak English??,
Lee says yes I do,
The lady asks him how much he charges to mow the lawn
He answers, well the lady here lets me sleep with her in the house!!

[Ironmaster Oddities]

A man and his wife are discussing things or events that make them happy and thing that make them sad.
After a while of laughing crying, smiling and frowning together, the husband says, "Honey, I bet there is nothing you can tell me that will make me happy and sad at the same time"
Wifey ponders for a few minutes and says, " yes I can. I can tell you something that will make you happy and sad and also furious at the same time. But I'm not going to tell you".
"no way. Nothing you can say will evoke those three feelings at the same time".
"Ok", she says. "Of all your friends and buddies at the country club, you have the biggest d*ck".

game, set, match

[Kirasdad]

Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf at the Heavenly CC. St. Peter steps to the first tee with a bag of brand new professionally fitted clubs, Mizuno blades (he is a stick) and TM SLDR woods. He whips out his SLDR driver, tees up a sparkling new Pro VI, and crushes one 310 right down the sprinkler line. Jesus lets out a low whistle and says admiringly, "good ball". He pulls out his driver, an old laminated Norhwestern with the whipping coming loose, a rusted steel shaft, and a slick grip. He tees up a range ball with a red stripe and gives it a rip. Pops it straight up into the air where it was caught in midair by a the beak of a bald eagle. The eagle flies straight down the fairway, and drops the ball on the back of a box turtle who has just emerged from a water hazard. The turtle lurches onto the green and sneezes. The ball falls off his shell and rolls 30 feet with a double break right into the center of the cup.

St. Peter looks at Jesus disgustedly and says, "Are we going to play golf, or are you going to f___k around!"

[tembolo1284]

[quote name='teevons' timestamp='1408493934' post='9968921']
Why I mow my own yard,

Lee Trevino was mowing his yard as he always does when he is home when a older lady in a shiny new Cadillac drives by and says , excuse me, do you speak English??,
Lee says yes I do,
The lady asks him how much he charges to mow the lawn
He answers, well the lady here lets me sleep with her in the house!!
[/quote]

That's hilarious!