My buddy wants to quit...

[ShortGolfer]

2 hours ago, MelloYello said:

 

So you tell me what I'm supposed to say to my buddy when he asks for my input. 

Tell him you understand if he needs to take a break and that he is welcome to play with you when he has time in his life for golf.

[ANimz]

My brother was at this point earlier this year, and I started spamming him with youtube instruction.  lol.  Anyway, he hit his first ace this month, then went to get a lesson, and said he was fixed in 5 minutes.  Not a scratch player by any means, but his first time back on the course he shot 39 through 9 holes.  

[bladehunter]

Haven’t read all this. So don’t shoot me if already suggested.  Talk him into letting you be his brain for  the whole round.  Assuming you’re game.  You get complete veto power over club choice. Start line etc.  show him what playing smart looks like.  And if I were you , I wouldn’t let him pull driver unless it’s a 120 yard wide hole.  
 

other than that. You have to be tough to lay this game.  If you quit. That’s on you.  You’ll either come back. Or not.  Artificially keeping him in the game from guilt won’t do either of you any good.  

[st1800e]

Not to diminish all the relevant comments posted, but your friend has a problem, and it’s not about golf.   

[Soloman1]

Dr. Phil enters the chat

[hoselrocket256]

On 7/17/2023 at 10:52 AM, MelloYello said:

My buddy is threatening to quit and quite frankly, I don’t blame him.

 

He’s gone from a casual 70s/80s player who loved golf 5 years ago to shooting near 100 sometimes, often double- or triple-bogeying half the holes on a given side. Quite frankly, he can't do anything very well right now. OB seems to be in play on every single hole. 

 

He hits it a mile but he’s got no idea where it’s going. The longer the shot, the more gory the miss. Worst of all, his swing is real unique, very much his own. Not something I could help with. And unfortunately, he doesn’t really have the instincts to be a good golfer. If it’s not a full swing, he’s in no-man's land. Tons of compensations going on. He doesn't have the instincts to lay back but he's got great talent and could shoot 70s with towering, Rory-esque moon balls if he weren't struggling so bad. It's been sad to watch the decline. I hate to say hacker but he's playing like it with no signs of improvement. 

 

He seems to expect every shot to be fine even when the last 4 were hooked dead left. He acts shocked at every mistake (an annoying habit). And he’s taken to getting quite upset about it during rounds. His attitude is the worst part now. He's a talker so every negative thing is vocalized. He's not the type to beat himself up but acting shocked at bad shots when you just shot 50 on the front comes off, IDK....annoying, right?

 

He’s working a lot and raising a family now so it's all totally understandable. But he doesn't seem that intent on quitting. Yet he doesn’t seem open to more practice or a few lessons. He's hitting the range but he's lost in a see of feels. I don’t think golf as a project is really something that fits him. He doesn't seem to learn well from other people. Kind of one of those "I need to teach myself" types (another annoying trait). I keep recommending lessons but I don't think he's that interested in golf as a serious study as this stage, IDK.

 

I honestly think maybe he should quit and just find something else to do, LOL. Bowling? But at the same time, golf isn’t that hard, LOL. I just took a 6 week break with a back injury and came back to shoot a 37, hitting half shots. That was probably a bit humiliating for him to see. I'm nursing a sore back, plinking it around the green and getting up and down to shoot a reasonable score, feeling great, and there he is unable to break 50 pounding 5w out by my driver. 

 

I think he's just wanting sympathy, probably feeling sorry for himself, that thing of when someone refuses to take ownership over their mistakes and wants acknowledgement from the group that they're in "pain." His refusal to lay back and keep it in play though bothers me because it means he can't be included with "the group" who compete and expect 100% effort on every shot.

 

I tried to include him once earlier this year and he embarrassed himself not so much with his awful play (which was worst in the group by several shots) but more so with his inability to manufacture some reasonable bogeys, instead choosing to embrace the blowup-after-blowup BS while looking for sympathy from a group that was more or less just annoyed at the constant nonsense. I was basically told in no uncertain terms, 'don't bother bringing him back' which I totally understand.   

 

It's just another example of lacking the kind of instincts golf demands: accepting limitation, playing safe, taking what's there, working with what you have on a given day, etc.

 

I don't know what to do. Maybe quitting is the answer for him right now? Would you say something? Maybe there's nothing to say? 

 

In the end, the lesson I'm learning is to be thankful that no matter how bad it feels like I'm playing, I'm good enough to play--period. Golf demands a lot of skill and anyone who can manage that deserves kudos.

 

So take a moment and pat yourself on the back if you can play well enough to enjoy this absurd game, because it's hard. 🙂

Has he considered taking lessons?  Could really help getting that driver shot onto or close to the fairway!