SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY FATHER!

[Hackey McDuffy]

Golf ettiquite

Okay, so I have to start by saying I love my dad to death, but he does NUMEROUS things out on the course that drive me absolutely nuts and I don't know how to address it.
My father and I both picked up golf about five years ago, we're not very good but I try very hard to make sure I'm extending the common courtesy that every player should give each other. My Dad on the other hand, doesn't get it.
He talks to himself when other people are hitting.
He tells me the yardage when I already have a club in my hand.
He gives me his "post shot analysis" when he hits a bad shot.
He tells me to "go ahead" if I'm away.
He looks in the woods for balls at any opportunity.
He does not mark his ball on the green.
He says "nice shot" when in fact, it is not.
He thinks it's okay if you don't have a divot tool.
He doesn't pull the pin if he is first in.
He stands RIGHT FRIGGIN NEXT TO ME when I'm about to hit. Fairway, tee, you name it.

Again, I have to say I love the guy to death and beyond, but on the course.....WTF!!!
He mocks the people in front of us and blames them for a delay, even if there is four foursomes ahead.
He tells me to put it in the hole every time I'm within 100 yards.
He points out the 150 marker when I'm standing on it.
He says the wrong phrase at the wrong time, in the wrong context.
See where I'm going with this???

I need a tactful way to address this, I mean he is my father and he has done sooooo much for me throughout my life. But I don't want to dread this every time we go out on the course. I play a lot more than he does now, and learned about the "dance" that makes a good round go smooth and flow. How do I do this without hurting the guys' feelings??? I don't want these outings to end, because golf was a way my father and I could bond and spend some time together (which was lacking for a very long time). But today I could NOT concentrate on my game at all!!
Somebody please help me help him!!!!!

[cfreeman8]

talked through here:

 

http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/index.php?sh...p;hl=cant+stand

 

 

 

 

Welcome to GOLFWRX!!

[pitbull808]

You only have one father. Enjoy the time you have with him like it's the last you'll ever have. One day, you'll look back and wish he was there to yell "Get in the hole!" As I said in the other thread........Hug your father when you see him and thank him for being there for you. :(

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

I didn't see anything in your list that warrants real concern.

 

Annoying? Maybe a little. But nothing to stress over.

 

And, what Pitbull said ^^^^. As a dude who used to worry about stuff like this, trust me, go with it. (i.e., don't sweat the small stuff.) In 15, 20, 25 years, you will cherish those memories.

[Furrankee]

Lead by action.

 

If he talks while you hit, tell him not to.

If he doesn't pull the pin, tell him to.

If you shank and he says "nice shot", tell him it wasn't.

 

Basically, everytime he's in the wrong, correct him. When it's in the right, ring a bell and use the Pavlov method.

 

There's no reason for human indecency.

 

:(

 

Oh, and then buy him a beer and talk about business and life. With my experience, he probably acts the same way he does in life as on the course.

[ick golfer]

its the same with my dad, i cant stand my father on the course. I dont know, i dont think he appreciates the game as much as smome others. not only is he kinda rude on the course, but i dont think he understands how i feel about it. i jus got finished with school ball, and ive improved so much by playing every day, and i made a suggestion for me to join a club for 750 a year for a junior... which around here is unheard of and his answer to that is you can hit in the back yard

[Hackey McDuffy]

Well thanks guys, this is all good advice. I feel like I should kind of embrace this and play a bit more leisurely when I am with him, and when I want to have a "serious" round, just go by myself after work.

He is my Dad and I love him with all my heart, and I do cherish the time together for sure.

I usually wait a few holes and feel people out to see how they play the game. Seriously, leisurely, etc. Sometimes the best golf partner is the one you don't even know is there, and sometimes I love to laugh my a** off all day.

If most of these issues are not too serious then I feel a bit relieved, but I'll follow the book until the reigns are loosened by the other players and then play more casually. Doing this right off the first tee seems a bit obnoxious to me. I think I'll work on my game on my own time, and just take Sunday afternoons with Dad for what they are. We know the Super, the starter and the guy in the pro shop (his mother taught me in kindergarten) on a personal level at the course we usually play at, so I think I'll just take it for what it is. Maybe try to lead by example a bit without disrespecting the guy. Maybe a membership to the USGA would help since they have a rule book?

So overall thanks for the advice guys, I appreciate it!

[larrybud]

He talks to himself when other people are hitting.

He tells me the yardage when I already have a club in my hand.

He gives me his "post shot analysis" when he hits a bad shot.

He tells me to "go ahead" if I'm away.

He looks in the woods for balls at any opportunity.

He does not mark his ball on the green.

He says "nice shot" when in fact, it is not.

He thinks it's okay if you don't have a divot tool.

He doesn't pull the pin if he is first in.

He stands RIGHT FRIGGIN NEXT TO ME when I'm about to hit. Fairway, tee, you name it.

 

Most of these things wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't care if he tells me the yardage, gives a post shot analysis (don't we all do that?), tell me to go ahead (what's wrong with that?), says "Nice shot", or not pull the pin.

 

But if he's talking, maybe he doesn't realize it. If he doesn't mark his ball, ask him to. Give him a divot tool and ask him to use it, or if he still doesn't get it, make a nice "ball mark" in front of his ball before he gets to the green... maybe he'll get the hint! If he's too close to you, ask him to move over.

 

My dad got in the habit of playing too leisurely due to the fact that he almost played all of his rounds at the short, flat, muni. When we'd go somewhere nice, he'd slow everything down. He had to be reminded to get ready to hit, put his club in the bag and sit down, etc.

[Milo]

McDuffy senior sounds like a real hoot and I'd love to play with him just for the laughs. Do other players never tell you how hilarious it is watching his quirks get under his son's skin?

 

Enjoy your father's light hearted eccentricities and play your serious rounds in other company/alone.

[BJG718]

He gives me his "post shot analysis" when he hits a bad shot.

 

this one really gets me. stating the obvious, too... hes always trying to give me lessons even though im a 10 going down and hes a 14 going up. i shoot low 80s when i dont play with him and low/mid 90s when i do play with him. it just gets under my skin and i cannot relax.

[BJG718]

He gives me his "post shot analysis" when he hits a bad shot.

 

this one really gets me. stating the obvious, too... hes always trying to give me lessons even though im a 10 going down and hes a 14 going up. i shoot low 80s when i dont play with him and low/mid 90s when i do play with him. it just gets under my skin and i cannot relax.

 

 

and he knows this all too because hes competetive with me. "someone's closer..." etc...crap like that.

[Shaitan]

He gives me his "post shot analysis" when he hits a bad shot.

 

this one really gets me. stating the obvious, too... hes always trying to give me lessons even though im a 10 going down and hes a 14 going up. i shoot low 80s when i dont play with him and low/mid 90s when i do play with him. it just gets under my skin and i cannot relax.

 

 

and he knows this all too because hes competetive with me. "someone's closer..." etc...crap like that.

 

That's where u've got to relax and not worry about that. I'm off 10 as well and I don't worry about what other's are doing and I haven't scored over 85 since I can't remember. Play against the course and yourself and don't worry about what others are saying.

 

On another note, it doesn't worry me when I play with my dad - he's a useless golfer but he plays with me every Saturday just cos he wants to spend more time with me, and I embrace that. It's fun. He doesn't know all the rules and all parts of etiquette but he's getting there and I just remind him every so often. It's good and enjoy it.

 

The musings of a 16 year-old

[TitleistDave]

When I was young my Dad played all the time and wanted me to play. I was not interested at the time. I started playing when I was in my twenties and played with my Dad and he was always goofing around. As I got better it bothered me to play with him, so i stopped playing with him as much even though he wanted to play with me. My Dad loved to play and now at 86 he no longer can. He continues to work at the golf course mowing, because he cannot let go.

 

My Dad did have pretty good etiquette, but always wanted to instruct me even when I was a card carrying 3 and he was a 12. It bothered me so much, but now I would give anything to play just 18 more holes with him. Now everytime I golf I call him and give him a complete run down of how I did and he loves it.

 

Maybe it is not right, but knowing what I know about golfing Dads I personally would not get too upset. There may be a day when you can't play with him. I would say just try to enjoy it while you can.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Dave

[MisterMizzy]

I've got to jump on the "have fun, he's your dad" bandwagon. I've been bothering my dad for a solid year now to come play golf with me. He hasn't broken 100 yet, but I absolutely love getting to hang out with him, especially because it doesn't relate to baseball. My whole life, the time we spent together revolved around my baseball, which became kind of a drag. Now we can hang out and do something we both enjoy doing.

[shack]

Blow all of it off and enjoy every moment you spend with him on the golf course. My father is in his 10th year of Alzheimer’s and hasn't even known who I am for the last 5. He couldn't hit a 2" putt if you put the club in his hand and showed him how. I would give anything to be with him on the course again and have him do any (or all) of the things that irritate you. Enjoy his company while you can...irritations and all!

[Merlin_T]

Enjoy to be with him, and BTW why not use this opportunity to work on you concentration :tongue: That's what I do, even at the driving range :cheesy: