How to handle elitist golfers..

[jimc11]

So what do you do in the situation below. I am an average player..my general scores are between 80-86 (low of 78 last week). I am capable of a 78 or a 95 any given day..but generaly in the low 80s..I do play very fast..faster than 95% of the people I play with..so I show up and am paired with a 3some. On the first tee I can tell I am not real welcome..They tell me "once we get out of eyesight you are welcome to split up" and they didnt say it in a nice way either. 2 of the golfers were easy 2 or 3 handicappers..the 3rd was about like me...Well I hung in for the first couple holes matching their scores..on number 3 I hit into a bunker and had a nice fried egg..I proceded to hit over the green..well at this they started the eye rolling...as I was getting ready to chip 2 of them putted out and walked to the cart...at the next tee they offered to split again...being that it was crowded I decided against it...well the round was miserable until 9..as I drove up to the clubhouse they said "we are stopping for lunch go ahead" I did and had a much more enjoyable round..So how do handle arrogant people in these situations? I find golf fun..I have played with people much better than me and much worse...either way it doesnt bother me.

[Ogre41]

I think that you handled it about as well you can. You keep pace and be polite. I'm sure that you would have moved on ahead had their been room on the course. It sounds to me like that just really wanted to be a threesome and they were annoyed that they got grouped with you. Good to hear that they left and you had a better time. But stories like this are why I don't go out as a single. I would much rather wait for a group of friends than risk playing with people who have no desire to play with me and people I have no desire to play with.

[Golfdog]

Their behavior has nothing to do with golf. Jerks are jerks in all aspects of their lives, IMO. If they weren't busy jerking you around on a golf course, they'd be making life miserable for someone somewhere else.

 

Not much you can do about. Just don't get down on their level, grin and bear it as best you can.

 

Oh, and key their car on the way out.

[Southern Ca Boy]

Just ignore them and let them think they are bigger and better than the game. That is the great thing about golf. It doesn't matter what your handicap you can enjoy it with anybody you go out and play with. Of course depending on whether or not the person wants to enjoy it. There is nothing you can do to change the people that are like that. They think they are better than everyone and that is how it's going to stay until they decide to change it.

 

I'm happy that they stopped and you were able to play the back nine and have FUN doing it. remind them that they aren't out there playing for a million dollars and that they won't be anytime soon ;)

[ckguy914]

I think you handled it as well as you could. Worry just about things that you have control over, which is yourself. ;)

 

While different people enjoy golf differently in different environments and none of us should judge each other based on that. But when their actions are starting to effect the other around them, in this case being rude to you, it's a different story.

 

I've personally gotten used to playing with people who can barely get the ball off the ground as long as they know the general rules and etiquettes on the course. But I haven't gotten to play with players who are significant better than me and don't think I am good enough to hang with them, and I think I would be pretty mad too if I ever have the chance to.

[danpass]

meh ... just take note of who they are and don't let them play golf with you again. ;)

[oregongolf]

Their behavior has nothing to do with golf. Jerks are jerks in all aspects of their lives, IMO. If they weren't busy jerking you around on a golf course, they'd be making life miserable for someone somewhere else.

 

Not much you can do about. Just don't get down on their level, grin and bear it as best you can.

 

Oh, and key their car on the way out.

 

 

Well said.

 

;) :clapping:

[jdub123]

i don't think keying any body's car would fix anything. Why would you stoop to their level. I think that's just immature.

[Balataboy]

They sound like total d*****bags. Generally when I go out as a single I'm paired with pretty nice people. The only groups I find hard to deal with are the ones that are reeaally slow and the ones that show no ettiquette.

[mat562]

I don't think the standard of their play has a lot to do with it.

 

The standard of personality seems to be lacking.

[cloudlx]

You did a good job of handling yourself, I can't think of a single thing that I would have done differently. I may have slipped and said something that I would regret, but outside of that, I would hope to handle myself as you did.

[NPVWhiz]

There's never a good rationale for being a jerk, but I've been in both situations and can see it from both sides.

 

Let's be honest, if you've got a regular foursome and one person has to bail, adding in another player can sometimes put a damper on the typical fun and games that accompany some of these rounds.

 

I'm a fairly good player that plays a lot of walk on, single golf, and I've run into plenty of that type, but in most cases it works out, simply because I can get it around the course with just about anyone. I've had the opportunity to play a good bit of golf with some very accomplished players, so I don't often run into situations that make me uncomfortable.

 

But I've been paired with groups that for whatever reason were cold to the idea of getting jammed with me as a fourth. It doesn't happen that often, but I don't take it personally...and I've gotten to where I just beg off if it doesn't seem like a welcoming group.

 

Life's too short to play golf with jerks.

 

But I can't be a hypocrite about it either. There have been a number of times when I've gone out late day to play 9 as a single, and up walks the fellow that you've got nothing against personally, but you know he's going to be using the ball retriever all day and is going to give you swing tips on holes 2, 6, 8 and 9.

 

I'm getting too old for that routine.

 

But, I've been around long enough to realize that you can meet some pretty bad golfers on the course that can turn out to be very beneficial to your career if you're in business.

[justyn]

I dont think it had anything to do with their handicaps, I am a low handicap and never treat people like that.

[WildcatCoach]

I don't think he was implying any relationship between their handicaps and their attitudes.

 

The sad fact is that some people just are not nice. You did everything you could and that should be commended.

 

With that being said, sometimes a good, swift kick in the nuts really helps change someone's attitude.

[larrybud]

So what do you do in the situation below. I am an average player..my general scores are between 80-86 (low of 78 last week). I am capable of a 78 or a 95 any given day..but generaly in the low 80s..I do play very fast..faster than 95% of the people I play with..so I show up and am paired with a 3some. On the first tee I can tell I am not real welcome..They tell me "once we get out of eyesight you are welcome to split up" and they didnt say it in a nice way either. 2 of the golfers were easy 2 or 3 handicappers..the 3rd was about like me...Well I hung in for the first couple holes matching their scores..on number 3 I hit into a bunker and had a nice fried egg..I proceded to hit over the green..well at this they started the eye rolling...as I was getting ready to chip 2 of them putted out and walked to the cart...at the next tee they offered to split again...being that it was crowded I decided against it...well the round was miserable until 9..as I drove up to the clubhouse they said "we are stopping for lunch go ahead" I did and had a much more enjoyable round..So how do handle arrogant people in these situations? I find golf fun..I have played with people much better than me and much worse...either way it doesnt bother me.

 

You did what you could... although you could have thrown in "Ok, well, I was looking for 3 people to join me at so and so private golf club, but I'll find someone else" as you walk away ;-)

[Bogeyman82]

Those guys sound like total jerks. Personally, I play as a twosome a lot, and I don't mind at all having people paired up with me. It gives you a great chance to meet some new people. Sometimes I have a great time with people I get paired with, sometimes I don't really care for them, or they are very slow, but overall it is usually pretty enjoyable.

 

If those guys act like that on the golf course, imagine how they must act the rest of the time!

[mat562]

I agree mate.

 

I often play 9 holes late on in an evening and pair up with other people who are doing the same.

 

Some of my most enjoyable rounds (and most interesting conversations) have been with people I met by chance - often members at my club that I previously knew only by sight.

 

Handicap or playing ability is immaterial to me. The game and the time spent playing it can be enjoyed regardless of the score. I get as quietly miffed as the next man if I end up with a stuffed shirt or the 'let me tell you what you did wrong there...' type (my rule is never offer advice unless it's asked for) but generally I enjoy meeting people and have made a few friends by pairing up by chance.

 

To behave like the three players in the OP towards another player is pretty poor in my opinion, and to blatantly insult you is downright rude. If they'd been playing in a match, or for money, or in a regular 3-ball then fine. Just say so, and offer to let you through and apologise/explain the situation. I've done it in my time, and I hope the person has understood and not been put out. But to snipe and snigger away like children? That's plain rude in my opinion.

[tokyokish]

Their behavior has nothing to do with golf. Jerks are jerks in all aspects of their lives, IMO. If they weren't busy jerking you around on a golf course, they'd be making life miserable for someone somewhere else.

 

Not much you can do about. Just don't get down on their level, grin and bear it as best you can.

 

Oh, and key their car on the way out.

exactly. no matter where you are or what you're doing... there will always be jerks.

don't key their car though. jerks are that way because, imo, they have shi!tty lives in at least one way or another, don't give them another reason to be jerks.

[hoganfan924]

I don't think the standard of their play has a lot to do with it.

 

The standard of personality seems to be lacking.

 

Agreed,

 

Some of my most pleasant rounds of golf have been when I've been paired with beginners and poor "twice a year" golfers because it gave me an opportunity to introduce them to some of the etiquette, traditions and ways of the game, like how to properly fix a ball mark. Most were very grateful to have a more experienced golfer show them these things because many beginners feel too intimidated to ask. Unfortunately, sometimes better players forget just how hard this game is to learn.

[maskedman]

You did the right thing. Ignore those with poor manners.

 

I play often as a single and have only experienced bad karma with pairings a few times. Pairing with other groups is usually a (very) positive experience. Yes, I've been mildly annoyed at times, but can get by just fine by focusing on my own game. BTW, it seems to work better to walk as a single, if that's an option for you. Keeps some distance between you and potential hostiles.

 

Any twosome or threesome should expect to have their group filled out and be civil about it in the same way that any single knows they will be paired up.

[packerfan1]

Don't quit walking on as a single...please! You will miss some great opportunities and conversations...and miss out on meeting a wide variety of people.

 

Many of my best rounds (not necessarily best scores but best rounds) have been when I walked on as a single and was paired up with one or more others. Out of probably 50-100 times this has happened, I can not recall more than one or two times where it just didn't work out. Most times we all have a great round, occasionally we have even met up and played again!

 

Golfers are golfers...much like life, some people are better to be around than others.

[XYB34A]

My mother tells me that I have the type of personality>>>> "your drive thumbtacks with a sledgehammer". Being that is said. I would have taken a sharpie and written on the back of a dollar bill. "This entitles you to one free copy of How to win Friends and Influence People" Be sure and give it to the most conceited one. Turn around and walk off. You did a most excellent job. Be proud of yourself. The old saying "what comes around goes around" always comes back to haunt you.

[KTgolf1]

Yep, you handled yourself well, some people are just dicks.

[wedgetoafoot]

I don't know, it seems like there was some element of them thinking they were better than you because they had low handicaps, but seriously what a bunch of losers. I personally wouldn't be arrogant about my game unless I was at least +2 ;)

[jnphegley]

You took the high road. Had it been me, I think I would have had lunch with them and done my best Rodney Dangerfield from caddy shack II. ;)

[sync71]

You should have stopped and had lunch with them ;)

[AcesAZ]

I think you handled it well.

 

I usually don't play as a single but have in the past. I've had a good time with players as long as they are curtious, don't play really slow and can hit the ball decent. It has bugged me in the past if I have to look for the guys topflight in the woods on every hole or if he plays really slow (lines up shot for 5 minutes then tops it ;), then does it again 20 yards down the fairway :clapping: ).

 

It sounds like these guys were just a-holes so don't let them bring you down.

[Golfdog]

ATTENTION EVERYONE! I was kidding about keying the car. It was irony. ;)

[memphishorn]

While I would rather play with other people I know, it has never bothered me to play alone or with strangers. I have played with all types but mostly I've been paired with decent people with many different skill sets.

 

Since I usually start out planning to play alone ( when by myself), I quickly assess whether or not to interact with this person(s) as I would a regular playing partner. If they appear to be not to freindly, I just play my own game, which I had planned to do from the start.

 

This past Sunday at my course, I played the first nine by myself and played the back side with a guy I had never met. We had similar games and he was freindly enough. I found out he plays regularly with the 8:00 skins game group that does not appeal to me but he is now intersted in playing with my regulars when we have room. My frist impression of him( dress, clubs, shoes, turned up collar) made it look like I would not like him but it turned out fine

 

On many occasions I have met very nice people that just want the same thing I want which is to enjoy a round of golf. On those rare occasions I get paired with people like those in the original post I try to cut it off as soon as I can for my benefit, knowing that in their eyes no one probably measures up to them.

 

My favorite thought about these people is that, everyone always gets what they deserve, sometimes it just takes longer than it should.

[jimc11]

Thanks Guys..I am a country boy with a nice little southern drawl. People in this Northern VA area are very very snobish. They hear me talk and think "what is this hick doing on my $80 a round course he should be out cutting hay" I can see it in their faces and hear it in the tone of their voice..It is actually kinda funny sometimes and 95% of the time by hole 4 when I am even or better than them they loosen up...The worste part is I ALWAYS dress nice on the course and have nice clubs (I need to add a whats in my bag line) so it has to be the country boy layed back attitude..playing baseball for so long I have learned not to let the bad shots bother me..there is always another at bat coming...I try to carry this over to golf...