If you're new to golf, read this and spare yourself pain

[Telegram Sam]

1. If you watch pros on TV and it makes you want to go learn an effortless, powerful, repeating swing, prepare to be dissapointed unless you practice or play 4-6 times a week and actually take the time to analyze what you are doing. (Just hitting balls isn't practice). Improvement demands a lifestyle change and commitment.

 

2. If you stop playing or practicing for more than two weeks, consider yourself starting over in golf.

 

3. If you have a fantastic range session, be grateful for it and celebrate it that night. Chances are the next day you won't hit the ball well and you'll change your swing 40 times in one hour trying to re-capture exactly what you did just 24 hours ago.

 

4. If you learn to groove your 5-iron on the range, don't get too excited. Now you have to learn to perfect your driver, wedges, putter, sand shots, mental toughness, course management, varying lies (uphill/downhill/sideways), various grass depths, etc. While working on those, you'll forget how to hit the 5-iron. Wash, rinse, repeat.

 

5. When you have an awful range session and feel frustrated and embarassed beyond belief, there is nothing you can do about it until the next session. There is no relief, and golf owes you nothing. Take deep breaths, load up your gear, get in your car like a grown man, and try to distract yourself until you can plan your next move.

 

6. When you are on the range or on the course, you will think that every other golfer is better than you and knows more than you do. But actually only 50% of them do. The other 50% think the same way you do.

 

7. There are literally hundreds of swing thoughts, tips, "feels", etc that go into a full swing. It will take you months if not years to figure out which combination of these concepts works for you. And even when you figure it out, you'll forget it if you stop playing for any significant amount of time. Golf is the opposite of learning to ride a bike: you have to re-learn it over and over throughout life.

 

8. Whatever another golfer tells you he shoots (including those on this site), add 10 strokes to it to get his "by-the-USGA rules" real score.

 

9. If you have a certain score goal in mind every time you play golf, you will be miserable on a golf course more than you are happy.

 

10. A "good" male golfer shoots less than 95 (by USGA rules). An excellent male golfer shoots below 90. An elite amateur shoots below 85. And less than 1% of amateurs shoot below 80. Be realistic about what you are trying to achieve score-wise, considering your dedication level to practice, fitness, age, etc.

 

11. You are tense--whether you even realize it or not--on EVERY golf shot that you make on a golf course. This negatively affects your shots. Unless you can make the range feel like the golf course, your range practice sessions are of limited utility; therefore, don't get too ecstatic about a great range session: you still have to prove it on the course.

 

Cheers

[Eag1e]

[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326950719' post='4115283']10. A "good" male golfer shoots less than 95 (by USGA rules). An excellent male golfer shoots below 90. An elite amateur shoots below 85. And less than 1% of amateurs shoot below 80. Be realistic about what you are trying to achieve score-wise, considering your dedication level to practice, fitness, age, etc.[/quote]

So somehow I am a super elite 1% amateur even without remotely decent ballstriking. Guess if you just learn to hit it straight and develop your touch around the greens you can easily become a super elite amateur.

[TxFrog]

I'll buy #9. My advice to those new to the game, try to find another partner of similar skill level and just play matchplay, don't worry about score when you first start. Being competetive and trying to beat your partner will naturally want you to improve and win, and thus your game will improve. When you can somewhat consitently make contact with the ball, and putt less than 40 times per round, then you can start keeping track of score.

#10. Yes if you consistently shoot under 95 then i'd consider that a "good" or "decent" golfer. But shooting under 85 is NOT elite. And I'd bet more than 1% of golfers can shoot under 80. Not many though probably closer to 5-7%.

[bmellisen]

I dont know if this was your intention, but it was a strangely negative post. The only thing you left out was 12. Dogs only live to be on average 13 years old, so you might as well take yours out to the backyard now and get it over with instead of waiting around. Any activity worth anything is hard, golf is no different. But for me at least i am as happy as i can be on the golf course, and any weekend it rains is a sad one.

[Telegram Sam]

[quote name='Eag1e' timestamp='1326981362' post='4116615']
[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326950719' post='4115283']10. A "good" male golfer shoots less than 95 (by USGA rules). An excellent male golfer shoots below 90. An elite amateur shoots below 85. And less than 1% of amateurs shoot below 80. Be realistic about what you are trying to achieve score-wise, considering your dedication level to practice, fitness, age, etc.[/quote]

So somehow I am a super elite 1% amateur even without remotely decent ballstriking. Guess if you just learn to hit it straight and develop your touch around the greens you can easily become a super elite amateur.
[/quote]

If you can regularly (i.e. more than 50% of the time you play) shoot an HONEST sub-80 (most golfers aren't dishonest, they just simply don't know USGA rules) , then yes...you are super-elite for an amateur. Congratulations.

[SheriffBooth]

In the unlikely event that someone actually brand new to golf does happen to read the original post, I hope they take none of it to heart.

[TxFrog]

[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326982720' post='4116779']
[quote name='Eag1e' timestamp='1326981362' post='4116615']
[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326950719' post='4115283']10. A "good" male golfer shoots less than 95 (by USGA rules). An excellent male golfer shoots below 90. An elite amateur shoots below 85. And less than 1% of amateurs shoot below 80. Be realistic about what you are trying to achieve score-wise, considering your dedication level to practice, fitness, age, etc.[/quote]

So somehow I am a super elite 1% amateur even without remotely decent ballstriking. Guess if you just learn to hit it straight and develop your touch around the greens you can easily become a super elite amateur.
[/quote]

If you can regularly (i.e. more than 50% of the time you play) shoot an HONEST sub-80 (most golfers aren't dishonest, they just simply don't know USGA rules) , then yes...you are super-elite for an amateur. Congratulations.
[/quote]

Then how do define those that play in USGA am events (am, mid-am, publinx)? Are they super-dooper-extraordinary-elite amateur?

I get your point, but the big variable is what course and tees you're playing from. If someone can consistenly break 80 from a 76/140 course than they have some serious game. But if you play a 69/110 course, breaking 80 more than 50% of the time can easily be done, by ok ball strikering, decent course management, and a solid short game.

[iteachgolf]

No way breaking 80 half the time makes you "super elite".

[Telegram Sam]

[quote name='TxFrog' timestamp='1326982610' post='4116771']
#10. ...But shooting under 85 is NOT elite. And I'd bet more than 1% of golfers can shoot under 80. Not many though probably closer to 5-7%.


[/quote]

According to the NGF only 22% of golfers regularly shoot in the 80's. To shoot a sub-85, go ahead and halve that percentage to 11%. I'd say that's an elite percentage. The same source claims that 6% of males regularly shoot sub-80. I think all these percentages are inflated. It's not practical to play strict USGA rules because most times golfers would hold up play for the group behind them if they did so. (i.e. looking for a ball for five minutes, properly handling OB situations, etc). Then, also factor in that most amateurs aren't honest when their ball slightly moves inadvertently, or they don't follow proper drop procedures for hazards, or they agree to "friendly mulligans," or "inside the leather" or they move their ball off a tree root, etc....

If USGA monitors actually followed every self-professed single-digit golfer in America for 18 holes over five consecutive rounds, I'm very confident that we would discover that the true percenatge of amateurs that "regularly" break 80 is actually less than 1%.

[iteachgolf]

Elite means you can compete in at least State level tournaments. It takes 73 or 74 and sometimes lower just to qualify for most State Ams, at least in the south. This is generally from 7,000+ yards in tournament conditions. If you can't qualify for your state's championship (140+ man field) you aren't "super elite"

[rvgolfer]

I dont know how the % apply to the general golf population, but I can attest those % apply to our winter 55+ golf course, and from the 5800 tees.

[Telegram Sam]

[quote name='iteachgolf' timestamp='1326984406' post='4116989']
Elite means you can compete in at least State level tournaments. It takes 73 or 74 and sometimes lower just to qualify for most State Ams, at least in the south. This is generally from 7,000+ yards in tournament conditions. If you can't qualify for your state's championship (140+ man field) you aren't "super elite"
[/quote]

You're talking about players that are borderline mini-tour, professional-caliber.

When I say elite, I am talking about as a percentage of the golfing public in general. The OP is addressed to new golfers and the experienced weekend warriors.

[Hoot151]

If we call people who can shoot par all the time [i][b]super-ridiculous-elite[/b][/i], and call people who break 80 75% of the time [i][b]super-duper-elite[/b][/i], can we call those who break 80 50% of the time [b][i]super-elite[/i][/b]? Dumb argument is dumb.

[iteachgolf]

[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326984898' post='4117043']
[quote name='iteachgolf' timestamp='1326984406' post='4116989']
Elite means you can compete in at least State level tournaments. It takes 73 or 74 and sometimes lower just to qualify for most State Ams, at least in the south. This is generally from 7,000+ yards in tournament conditions. If you can't qualify for your state's championship (140+ man field) you aren't "super elite"
[/quote]

You're talking about players that are borderline mini-tour, professional-caliber.

When I say elite, I am talking about as a percentage of the golfing public in general. The OP is addressed to new golfers and the experienced weekend warriors.
[/quote]
Guys shooting 74 to just get in Am events aren't even close to mini tour level or professional players. To actually make money playing mini tour golf you need to be a +4 or +5 and you still may fail. The ams barely qualifying for state events are about 20-30 shots worse over 4 days than a sucessful mini tour player.

So many people play golf. Way more people break 80 regularly than you think. Champions in TX has something like 500 members lower than a 5 handicap. Being scratch gets you into the second flight of the club championship there. Breaking 80 isn't elite in golf.

[freddy1682]

[quote name='Telegram Sam' timestamp='1326984073' post='4116943']
[quote name='TxFrog' timestamp='1326982610' post='4116771']
#10. ...But shooting under 85 is NOT elite. And I'd bet more than 1% of golfers can shoot under 80. Not many though probably closer to 5-7%.


[/quote]

According to the NGF only 22% of golfers regularly shoot in the 80's. To shoot a sub-85, go ahead and halve that percentage to 11%. I'd say that's an elite percentage. The same source claims that 6% of males regularly shoot sub-80. I think all these percentages are inflated.[b] It's not practical to play strict USGA rules because most times golfers would hold up play for the group behind them if they did so. (i.e. looking for a ball for five minutes, properly handling OB situations, etc).[/b] Then, also factor in that most amateurs aren't honest when their ball slightly moves inadvertently, or they don't follow proper drop procedures for hazards, or they agree to "friendly mulligans," or "inside the leather" or they move their ball off a tree root, etc....

If USGA monitors actually followed every self-professed single-digit golfer in America for 18 holes over five consecutive rounds, I'm very confident that we would discover that the true percenatge of amateurs that "regularly" break 80 is actually less than 1%.
[/quote]

Truth is, if people UNDERSTOOD how to properly play under USGA rules, then it would not affect pace of play at all. If you hit a ball that has a chance of going out of bounds or being lost, you simply re-tee ANNOUNCING you are hitting a provisional, and proceed down the hole. Yes, you can look for 5 minutes for the original ball. That certainly beats the 8-10 minutes a lot of people spend looking for it. If not found, or found OB, then you proceed by playing the provisional ball. Most amateurs just either choose not to, or don't understand how to proceed under such rules. If anything, it might actually speed up play!

[Telegram Sam]

[quote name='Hoot151' timestamp='1326984993' post='4117063']
If we call people who can shoot par all the time [i][b]super-ridiculous-elite[/b][/i], and call people who break 80 75% of the time [i][b]super-duper-elite[/b][/i], can we call those who break 80 50% of the time [b][i]super-elite[/i][/b]? Dumb argument is dumb.
[/quote]

Since we're talking semantics (not sure why, since that's not the point of the OP) in my opinion, a "real" golfer is not the one who calims to be "elite," but instead is the one who is HONEST. An honest golfer is almost extinct in today's society, mainly due to a more permissive moral culture.

A get a chuckle sometimes. Like two weeks ago I was playing by myself, just chillin on a day that I would normally be at work. I notice another single playing behind me real fast. He eventually catches me and I invite him to play with me. We make small-talk and he says, "yeah, usually I'm right around scratch on this course." I kid you not, I played with this character for six holes, probably beat him by 5 strokes on just those holes that day, and when I checked my scorecard I had shot an honest 88. So much for his "scratch" golfing.

[gators78]

If you're new to golf, welcome to this crazy game and please ignore this list.

[stryper]

[quote name='bmellisen' timestamp='1326982636' post='4116773']
I dont know if this was your intention, but it was a strangely negative post. [u]The only thing you left out was 12. Dogs only live to be on average 13 years old, so you might as well take yours out to the backyard now and get it over with instead of waiting around[/u]. Any activity worth anything is hard, golf is no different. But for me at least i am as happy as i can be on the golf course, and any weekend it rains is a sad one.
[/quote]

[bscinstnct]

Superb post.


As far as how good is the average golfer.

Just go to the first tee and watch all the guys with brand new clubs spraying the ball everywhere. It's awesome, puts me in a trance.

Lot's of good golfers, nearly all started playing as kids. But even they won't break 80 very often if they don't play and practice very regularly.

I know guys who used to shoot great scores in school, but now they can't practice much and play couple of times a month and are happy to break 90.

[HitEmTrue]

Once someone learns a few fundamentals that work for them, #2 and #7 don't apply anymore.

And to imply that all golfers cheat and lie about their scores by 10 strokes is a little insulting to those of us that don't.

You need to play more with some good golfers and maybe your perceptions will change.

All that said, I think you do a decent job of capturing the general feelings of someone that is still trying to find their way in golf.

[596]

I think this list about hits golf right on the head!! You can call it negative, you can call it "not politically correct", but it is true.

 

If you are just starting golf, don't read the list

[HappyGolf]

Nice post Telegram Sam, I understand what percentages mean and I know that 95% of all golfers worldwide wish they could be as good as me...

That makes me pretty super-special.... although personally I'd still like to be a lot better

[TheCityGame]

Translation of original post: I stink at golf and I lie, and I ignorantly project my personality onto others, therefore other people stink at golf and lie.

[teejaywhy]

Telegram Sam, you're my main man...

I hope your post was meant to be tongue in cheek.

Props for the T-Rex reference.

[thekru]

Mr. Bitterman party of one!!.........I think you should take up ping-pong.

[Hole_in_8]

Since I can only play 1-2 times per week guess I should just sell my clubs!

[HateTheHighDraw]

This thread sucks, apparently much like everyone's golf game, except the OPs.

[Miss Shanksalot]

So there's no room for simple fun or enjoyment in the game of golf? Talk about grim. No thanks, Eeyore: I'll continue to have a good time stinking it up on the course despite your proclamations.

[Spudman1]

I don't think the OP was directed at the better players. I'm one of the guys who doesn't play well enough to be insulted by the OP. In fact, I see myself in most of the points. My swing thoughts usually work for one round of golf, then quit working. You can use that.

Enjoyed the post.

[Telegram Sam]

[quote name='thekru' timestamp='1326994006' post='4118253']
Mr. Bitterman party of one!!.........I think you should take up ping-pong.
[/quote]

The two most bitter players in the history of golf were also the two best: Ben Hogan and Tiger Woods. Both played with a chip on their shoulder, and for good reason: mastering golf at their level subjects a human being to endless hours, days, and years of frustrating suffering and anger. But that tenacity pushes you to the next level.

I may sound bitter, but I have something few golfers possess: an honest outlook on what I'm capable of and what I am trying to achieve with this game. I have a plan for being content with this game for the rest of my life, despite its almost constant cruelty. I am able to see a bad round for exactly what it is: a constant part of golf that should be analyzed and learned from.

If anyone honestly tells you they are having "the time of their life" shooting 110 and just playing with their buddies and chillin' outdoors, then great. Good for them. Let them keep it up. But that's not golf.

I started this thread because new golfers may not fully understand what they are in for if they decide to make golf a part of their life. I am simply trying to share some insight with them that will serve as an INNOCULATION for the frustrations to come.