Fought with a regular in my group

[ebenn]

How do I handle this?

i'll try to make this brief....
I am playing with my group of friends. I am not playing that great. Guy in my group see's me pull my putt. I am pissed. I tap in an walk away while he says "hey let me show you something...you need to do this" I tell him I know what I did, thanks anyway.
Next hole I hit out of a greenside bunker..long. I get into the cart to pull it around near the next tee. As I am coming around, same guy as above practically gets in front of the cart telling me to slow down! One of the guys is putting. This pisses me off as technically I am away and I am actually moving closer to my ball so I can putt. No big deal as we like to play ready golf.
Now the big Piss Off.
I hit one of the best drives in my life...329 exact middle of the fairway. Right at the 150 mark. I am now setting up to hit my approach, closing my stance a little as I had been pushing things right all day. I feel really good at this point. Out of nowhere, the above guy starts yelling my name non stop. I stop in the middle of my back swing thinking something is going to hit me etc. I look back and the guy says, "the green is this way!. I said , "You mean the one with the big white flag right in front of me?"
He says it looked like I was lined up wrong! I get so mad, I try to line up again but of course totally chunk it. I then throw my club, something I haven't done it at least 10 years. The rest of the round sucks, I think of leaving and then the above guy Says he's leaving! He's not having any fun! I said see you later and played on.

I think this guy was a) upset that he made me mad, and B) mad that after the "episode" he started playing bad. (which in my mind made us "even")

How do I handle this? Do I call him and "make up"? The other guy we played with was his brother and was totally caught in the middle. How do I deal with him now?

Did I lose 2 of my foursome? Was I totally wrong with how made I got?
Need advice!!!

*gave up on editing for spelling!

[DarthFierce]

I can understand the guy trying to advise you on the putt. Not that I would do that, but it sounds like he was trying to be helpful. Tell him in a nice way, you don't like advice on the course.

 

However, him making you stop your swing is too much. When I'm about to pull the trigger I don't want anyone to say anything even if a tiger is about to pounce on me from out of the bushes. That is totally wrong of that guy and your reaction was probably a lot better than mine would have been. Once again, he was probably trying to be nice but he needs to keep his mouth shut.

 

You say this is a regular foursome. Has the guy acted like this before? How well do you know him?

[ebenn]

this is my regular group. The guy really hasn't acted this way before. Or maybe he has but I just let it go. For some reason he was like nails on a chalk board yesterday.

Me throwing my club was out of line and I tried to apologize to everyone. I felt like I had comitted a cardinal sin! And I'm not catholic. Also the guy is on his 3rd set of irons this summer and was playing bad...but really bad after my episode. Meanwhile his brother, the third in the group shot a "bad" 78. It should have been a 73.

 

I think the day was pretty sh%#ty overall for everyone.

Maybe it was the end of season crabbiness.

[ubergoober]

I have people that are friends and that I like a lot, but our personalities and playing styles don't mesh well on the golf course. It's possible to stay friends and choose not to tee it up together. It's also possible to discuss what you expect of playing partners and find out what they expect from you and see if you can find ways to get along better on the course. If compromises can't be reached, go your own ways and respect each other's preferences.

 

I went through something like this a couple of years ago and split from a regular playing partner. I replaced him with others that have been far better company and a lot more fun to be around. If I'd stayed with him, I would have missed out on a bunch of great guys that I expect to play with for years to come.

[2005h4]

it happens to me some times. I usually lay-off few weeks playing with them, and then by the time we play again, all forgotten....

[SheriffBooth]

If you like the guy and you generally enjoy playing with him, just pick up the phone and tell him you feel $hitty about the way you acted. Say you weren't mad at him you were frustrated with yourself. That'll put it to bed pretty quick I bet.

[Solutions Etcetera]

There are always two sides. You need to sit down with him and just say you would prefer not to be offered his unsolicited advice.

 

But it also sounds as though you might have been prone to having a bad day before you even got out on the course. (just a gut feeling here from how you phrased this and your recount of what happened)

 

Good foursomes are hard to make and keep. If it were me I would say something like "sorry I got so pissy the other day... I had some other things on my mind... but do me a favor going forward... could you not offer me any advice on my game unless I ask for it."

 

I don't know anyone who likes receiving this kind of advice from playing partners unless it is asked for. I think you're buddy will probably understand this if you just 'splain it to him nicely.

 

Best of luck.

[dcrabtree]

No offense to the ladies, but, One of the great things about being a guy is the fact that we can get over little spats like this and go on without disrupting the rotation of the earth. It will blow over, if it's someone you play with regularly, he realizes he pissed you off and most likely won't need advised on his bad behavior. However, I would bring it out in the open. Simply state that although you know his intentions are good, you would rather not have advice from other players on the course, unless you ask for it. Like I said, I doubt you need to worry about losing a playing partner, but you never know.

[Gozz]

If you like the guy and you generally enjoy playing with him, just pick up the phone and tell him you feel $hitty about the way you acted. Say you weren't mad at him you were frustrated with yourself. That'll put it to bed pretty quick I bet.

 

Nail on the head. Kiss make up & move on.

[scotton]

First offense: "Thanks, but I'm going to play with what I brought today."

Second offense: "I would appreciate it if you would hold off on your advice until the round is over."

Third offense: "When I look at you and ask 'What do you think I did wrong there?', that's your cue to tell me what you think."

 

I don't know what comes after three because I've never had to go there. I have an extremely quick tempo, so I use one a lot. One way to tell you are playing with a good golfer is if he keeps his advice to himself until you say "Hey, do I look lined up correctly?".

 

And if someone stopped me in mid-swing to question how I'm lined up, I would kindly ask him to come hit the shot for me. Because nothing good will come of this shot.

 

It sounds like you were letting your buddy mess up what was already a poor round, but he should have kept it zipped. So man up and apologize for not being wrong or find other guys to play with. If you are married you will find option 1 much easier than option 2.

[wkuo3]

All being said above, regardless of what's right or wrong, it seemed to me that you'd had an off day?

We all have those days that we just don't do things right and felt everybody and everthing were going against us.

You probably would handled it / felt differently given another day another place for the same scenario.

Good friends are good friends, and would take more s..t from close friends than from anyone else.

Try to talk to them, just tell them you feel silly about what happened, and if they could not forget about it, then they're not as good a friend as you thought they were.

[Bones01gt]

When my game goes sour I don't want your advice...unless you're a PGA tour pro, just leave me alone and give me my time and space to sort things out.

 

When it's goin' south for your buddy...just leave him alone. If he wants your advice he'll ask.

 

Just tell your buddy that you would rather he leave you alone when you're struggling. He'll understand.

[SwingMan]

Call him and tell the guy only your father can yell at you in the middle of a swing to stop - and get away with it. In addition, you appreciate his efforts but please, only give advice when you specifically ask for it.

 

As to the future, just ask him to chalk the the incident up to the full moon or a voodoo curse or the fact that you haven't got "any" lately, and see if you can put it behind you. Humor is always a good icebreaker.

 

Then buy the first round of beers after the next time you play. You look like the big man and you should reap future rewards -- in addition to good karma.

[thenewbie]

No offense to the ladies, but, One of the great things about being a guy is the fact that we can get over little spats like this and go on without disrupting the rotation of the earth. It will blow over, if it's someone you play with regularly, he realizes he pissed you off and most likely won't need advised on his bad behavior. However, I would bring it out in the open. Simply state that although you know his intentions are good, you would rather not have advice from other players on the course, unless you ask for it. Like I said, I doubt you need to worry about losing a playing partner, but you never know.

 

yes, us men like to keep everything tucked away deep inside, untill it over flows and we have to let it out by strangling a drifter.

 

or is that just me?

 

I had a really bad day at work the other day. I'm a server at a restaraunt, and all it takes is 5 or 6 little things to go wrong, and your overwhelmed and pissed off. the kicker was the table with the $80 tab that left me $3. I though I was going to emplode and create some sort of other-worldly black hole where the mass of my body used to be. or maybe just walk out.

 

of course, my manager thought this would be a great time to explain why she thought I had gotten such a poor tip. :russian_roulette: :yes: ;)

 

the moral of the story is, most of the time people just don't understand how your feeling, even if you tell them.

 

in the end, the only person you can control is yourself, and the only person your responsible for is yourself. tell him whats up. or, as I like to say "throw it out there and see what sticks."

[crew_138]

If your feeling guilty which I think you are somewhat, then just do what you feel is right.

 

If your already put in a mood and have it in you head then nothing is going to change it.

 

Sleep on it and apologize.

 

It's no fun to not have golfing buddies to play golf with.

[ssites]

Oh man if you wouyld see what goes on in my foursome once in a while. We (dad, bro-in-law and good friend) have been a foursome for 10 years. Go on a week trip together every year and play all the time. Last year at Myrtle we had 4 blowups going on at once about a drop location, dad clanging his clubs during backswing and other assorted stuff.! Me fighting with BIL, BIL at dad, 2 of us aginst dad etc. Ugly stuff.

 

10 minutes later we were laughing about it big time. Wouldn't NEVER change it for the world! :russian_roulette: