Craziest thing you've seen...

[banistr]

While playing in a Hooters event on Wednesday (pro-am), my playing partner (which was also a part-time comedian)...kept playing jokes on all the Hooters girls. He bet one of them $5 that he could make her boobs move with out touching them. They shook hands on the bet, then he proceded to grab one in each hand while shaking them and handed her the $5 and said " OK...you win"

 

H had a hand full of knockers all day...damn him!!!!

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

While playing in a Hooters event on Wednesday (pro-am), my playing partner (which was also a part-time comedian)...kept playing jokes on all the Hooters girls. He bet one of them $5 that he could make her boobs move with out touching them. They shook hands on the bet, then he proceded to grab one in each hand while shaking them and handed her the $5 and said " OK...you win"

 

H had a hand full of knockers all day...damn him!!!!

 

That reminds me of something my dad said when I was a kid.

 

Me (14 at the time), my brother (10), and my dad went out for burgers one city over. The road to get to the burger place in the next town was basically undeveloped and the only thing that was on it at the time was 2 topless bars. As we pass them, my brother exclaims "I'm going there as soon as I turn 18!"

 

My dad, a usually stoic accountant, says in his most 'oh, ferchristsake' voice "Son, if you get to be 18 years old and still can't get a girl to show you her t**** without having to pay for it, I will take you there."

 

Kind of applies here too. Although funny to watch, if you've gotta trick a girl and pay her $5 to touch her boobies . . .

[PurePursuit]

haha. Your dad didn't even miss a beat with that retort huh Foxtrot? Sounds like something my father would have said when I was a kid.

[Swingtheclub]

this would have been in the sixtys at Pensacola Municipal (then know as Osceola)

 

Mr George the little old man that managed the place told some guy off and told him not to do what he had done again.

 

The guy teed off and yelled back to George that no body talked to him that way and he was gonna kick Mr Georges a** when he got done playing.

 

Mr George was probably like sixty years old. He goes into his office gets his pistol out loads it with a clip.

 

Walks around behind the club house. Leans and old plywood board against the building. Emptys the clip in it. Says "Yep still works good"

 

goes inside reloads the clip and sets it on the counter in the pro shop.

 

Somebody got the word to the player, because he made it straight to the parking lot when he got in and did not even change his shoes.

 

We never saw him or the gun again after that day.

 

 

I was about 16 years old and Mr George was the man in my eyes that day.

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

this would have been in the sixtys at Pensacola Municipal (then know as Osceola)

 

Mr George the little old man that managed the place told some guy off and told him not to do what he had done again.

 

The guy teed off and yelled back to George that no body talked to him that way and he was gonna kick Mr Georges a** when he got done playing.

 

Mr George was probably like sixty years old. He goes into his office gets his pistol out loads it with a clip.

 

Walks around behind the club house. Leans and old plywood board against the building. Emptys the clip in it. Says "Yep still works good"

 

goes inside reloads the clip and sets it on the counter in the pro shop.

 

Somebody got the word to the player, because he made it straight to the parking lot when he got in and did not even change his shoes.

 

We never saw him or the gun again after that day.

 

 

I was about 16 years old and Mr George was the man in my eyes that day.

 

I am not normally a fan of guns, but I gotta say yes, Mr. George is the man. That's hilarious.

[Grum]

Playing behind a junior event; One bad tempered teenager hits a drive, OB right. Hits another, tugs it left. Throws driver behind him and hits his playing partner. Didn't look like it hit him that hard, but my god the beating he gave the kid!

[spinningwedge]

Got another one- perhaps familiar to other golfers who have played in SE Asia.

 

Out one afternoon at a course in Malaysia, I was walking up ahead to my ball on a long par 5 with my wife riding behind me in the cart. Out of the woods comes barrelling a monitor lizard, fully six feet long, coming straight at me. I sidestepped it at the last moment and the beast stormed down across the fairway, through a bunker and back into the jungle. It was over in an instant but I was a basket case for a few holes after that.

[bstevens2008]

I was doing a golf school in HI and the range over looked 17th. 17 was a 3 par straight down hill, this japanese guy was getting a blow job from a local service lady and he drove the cart into the pond. It was pretty funny, it cost him a cart, 2 sets of sticks, and what ever the service was. I was the only white guy there during the explaination, you did not have to understand japanese to understand what he was saying.

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

I was doing a golf school in HI and the range over looked 17th. 17 was a 3 par straight down hill, this japanese guy was getting a blow job from a local service lady and he drove the cart into the pond. It was pretty funny, it cost him a cart, 2 sets of sticks, and what ever the service was. I was the only white guy there during the explaination, you did not have to understand japanese to understand what he was saying.

 

Exactly which resort was it that provided this service?

[Adk Jake]

Years ago at our Tuesday night golf league year end outing and dinner, about halfway through the round, one of our guys has a wasp fly in to his ear. Stings him in his inner ear, and is trapped inside. He's on the ground like he's having some kind of seizure, thrashing and yelling. Couple of guys load him in his cart, run back to the parking lot and take him to the emergency room. They manage to get the wasp out.

 

Trooper that he is, he makes it back to the clubhouse for happy hour and dinner. League members spend most of the rest of the night sneaking up behind him and going BZZZZZ. From then on his nickname was Buzz :good:

[kiclub690]

So this obviously is not my story, but I caddied for Hank Kuehene in a Pro-Am at the course I work at and he told this story on the 17th tee. Hank is playing his first round at Augusta the year after he won the US amateur...and he makes the turn in two or three under and is around the top of the leaderboard, he walks to 10 tee and hears a female voice calling his name and looks up to see three gorgeous women in sundress. He walks past them and one holds out her hand, he shakes it and notices a piece of paper and a phone number in his hand afterwords. From what he said...he couldnt focus going around the backside of Augusta and ended up shooting like 75 but he called the number later...and he says that he and the British Amateur champ had a blast that night in the crows nest...and that the Brit. amateur champ now owes him for life

[dentron4]

A couple years ago at my home course there was a charity tournament at my course that was hosted by a local radio dj. I has 14 at the time and also worked in he backshop, the pros made sure no one under the age of 18 (leagal age in canada) was working while the tournament was going on becuase they knew some of the stuff planned for the event. Since I am a member there aswell I went to 'practice' (aka check out the action) and wow were my eyes opened, on a bunch of different holes on the course there were beer filled dunk tanks with topless women, stippers giving lap dances and big coolers with free beer. boy it was chaotic. I ended up working after the tournament cleaning up the mess, there was 3 carts rolled and 12 bags of emptys. None of the members at my course were too impressed, the course was torn up the next day

[nshon]

Happened this morning. At the turn, went into the toilet(small one with one urinal, one WC) to take a leak and a guy is taking a dump in the cubicle with the door open. Was thinking what a freak until I saw a cigarette in his hand, he was trying to get more ventilation with an open door I guess. I did NOT need to see that.

[bunka]

This did not happen to me, thank god :good: My work mate told me that whilst he was younger he was walking the course with some friends. He said his friends were not very good golfers, so on one hole he decides that standing behind them was not very safe :cheesy: He decides to stand off to the side at 90 degrees. The golfer then proceeds to slice the ball at right angles right into his mouth... OUCH Suffice to say I wont comment on his teeth :cheesy:

[larrybud]

Years ago (+10) at a local muni. We're looking for the ball of the guy I'm riding with, and we find it stuck in a pine tree about 3' above the ground. At that very moment, the 2 other guys we're playing with are on the other side of the fairway, and one of them is running full speed down the fairway... after a squirrel who picked up his ball and was running away with it.

 

Very surreal.

[larrybud]

Actually, let me do mine over, I have another story that just popped into my head, this one is CRAZY!!! So I was caddying at a very nice Donald Ross design course in Erie, PA. (Kahkwa club for any locals,) My friend is in the group ahead of me with that one old guy who pays the $25 bag minimum and then tips you $2 only, but he requests you don't double bag, well he's an old ****** bag...So their on the 17th hole fairway and I'm on the tee. I look ahead so I can tell my hack member to hit his weak 230 yard fade and what do I see? My caddy buddy with an iron bashing the $hit out of some squirrel.

 

SO I have to get this story from my caddy buddy, it was too good to pass up. After all, when we got to the fairway there was a dead squirrel with blood spread over a 15sq foot area. So my buddy gives me the story. Apparently the squirrel was rabid and attacked the old guy. The old guy smacked him away with his 8 iron twice and the squirrel shook it's head and came back for another round. The old guy told my caddy buddy to "get it" So my friend takes out a 5 Iron and takes a Happy Gilmore style swing right at it. The squirrel flies like 20 feet through the air. The old guy tells him, "Well don't let it suffer sonny, go put it out of it's misery." So my friend takes the 5 iron and repeatedly bashes the squirrel over the head leaving blood all over the place. I saw the whole thing from about 250 yards back. I never fed the squirrels after that!!!

 

 

This begs the question: What kind of tip did he get THAT day?

[bstevens2008]

I was doing a golf school in HI and the range over looked 17th. 17 was a 3 par straight down hill, this japanese guy was getting a blow job from a local service lady and he drove the cart into the pond. It was pretty funny, it cost him a cart, 2 sets of sticks, and what ever the service was. I was the only white guy there during the explaination, you did not have to understand japanese to understand what he was saying.

 

Exactly which resort was it that provided this service?

 

Waikele Golf Club

[handmadeaddicted]

I was doing a golf school in HI and the range over looked 17th. 17 was a 3 par straight down hill, this japanese guy was getting a blow job from a local service lady and he drove the cart into the pond. It was pretty funny, it cost him a cart, 2 sets of sticks, and what ever the service was. I was the only white guy there during the explaination, you did not have to understand japanese to understand what he was saying.

 

Exactly which resort was it that provided this service?

 

Waikele Golf Club

 

lmfao

[scs1070]

I was on the driving range with a friend and there was a dove sitting on the top of one of the poles holding up the net. He hit a 3 wood dead off the toe and it hit the bird in the head and took it's head clean off.

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

I was on the driving range with a friend and there was a dove sitting on the top of one of the poles holding up the net. He hit a 3 wood dead off the toe and it hit the bird in the head and took it's head clean off.

 

Is your friend Randy Johnson?

[Johnnyallthetime]

I was doing a golf school in HI and the range over looked 17th. 17 was a 3 par straight down hill, this japanese guy was getting a blow job from a local service lady and he drove the cart into the pond. It was pretty funny, it cost him a cart, 2 sets of sticks, and what ever the service was. I was the only white guy there during the explaination, you did not have to understand japanese to understand what he was saying.

 

Exactly which resort was it that provided this service?

 

Waikele Golf Club

 

 

HAHA! i never thought for the waikele area to have such debauchery!

[jimb]

A couple of years ago I was playing golf at my home course. Just out walking nine in the early evening. Our sixth hole is a short par 4 with a narrow fairway, slight dogleg to the left surrounded by tall trees. The green is elevated from the fairway. Behind the green are some huge pines and it goes uphill with just wood, and brush. I played the hole and walk to the seventh tee, which is directly to the left of the sixth green, straight uphill at about a 30 foot rise. There is a foursome of Korean doctors and their wives about a hole and a half behind, also walking.

 

I am standing on the seventh tee and out of the corner of my eye I see movement behind one of the big pines behind the sixth green. I do a double take. It is a guy, late teens, completely naked other than his nikes and socks. He is looking at down the sixth fairway from behind the tree. I yelled, "Hey, what are you doing". He says, "Nothing! Why?". I said, "In case you haven't noticed you are naked!"

 

Then I noticed his buddy standing off to the side in the woods with a video camera. Obviously, when the group behind was going to be on the green, the naked guy was going to jump out, run around, and his buddy was going to video the whole deal.

 

Well I cut through the trees and intercepted the Korean group before they got too close. I told them what was up and they got on the cell to call the police. What I did find interesting was the expression on the face of one the women in the group. She looked at me with a surprised grin, and in a Korean accent asked, "Wasa he good rooking?"

[paulsc]

8 years ago I was playing with my Dad at his home course in South Africa, and we hit our second shots onto the green, which was slightly down hill and before walking to them, left our bags at the left hand side of the fairway near the steps to the second tee box. So we are walking down with putters in hand and something catches my eye in the peripheral vision, so I turn round and not more than 30 metres away are two guys on hands and knees, with hands in our bags and hurriedly pilfering whatever they could get. I shout out, and they scurry off still on hands and knees into the shrubs nearby, and we start hollering for course security(they have that on this course and it is fully fenced in with 10 feet fencing).

Why they stayed on hands and knees id beyond me, but the sight of this was hilarious. Ever since then I have carried my bag and carry it with me to evey green, even though I now live in safe country.

[duckhook]

Beyond the normal fistfights and strange hole-in-ones that I've seen ....

 

1986...I'm working in the pro shop of a Northern Virginia country club as a summer gig during my college days. One day I get out there about 5 AM to bring out the carts, etc. Over on the putting green are two people laying down asleep on one of the big shower towels. One, a woman member and not bad looking, is stark naked. The other is the head pro, and he's in his underwear. They have about 20 beers strewn across the green. Worse, there are 3...yes 3...um...prophylactics on the green. Funny thing is the items are about 50 feet apart...meaning it must have been one wild night. Anyway, he was a good guy to me, so I woke them up as they had clearly passed out. Somewhat embarrasses, they tried to hightail it into the locker rooms to shower. But he couldn't even find his pants, which had the keys to the clubhouse. So she's hiding in a corner behind some bushes while he's running around trying to find his pants. He finally found them one the first tee, and they got into the clunhouse to shower or whatnot.

 

The good news is this woman was to say it politley, all over me, for about 3 years just so I wouldn't tell her husband. Good times :D

[italian71]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0PM5LGEjzI

 

I found this and would have loved to seen this in person

[italianstallion]

When I was out for a ride on our course late one evening to see where all the carts were at, I spotted a lady going down on a guy out on the front 9. Did a complete 180 and headed back to the cart shack!

[scores]

a lady playing golf in her underwear ... I was 15 and the pro made her put on her clothes I was P****

[Grum]

Was talking to our assistant pro today before my round. Our 17th green is infront of the greenkeepers yard and where they park their cars. Someone had caved in the head greenkeepers windscreen. We were having a laugh about it.

 

Get round to 17, about 160 out, down hill, wind behind. I pull the 9 out the bag. I notice a van in the yard and the car in the shed(door open) with its window being fixed. I hit a flier. I hit the car. He was pretty good about it. Twice in one day, funny as f*ck!

[pro11ace]

That sounds like the old man in "Family Guy" LOL

 

Dude! Yeah! the guy who always says weird things to like stewie

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

That sounds like the old man in "Family Guy" LOL

Dude! Yeah! the guy who always says weird things to like stewie

 

:D Close. He has a thing for Chris.