Thoughts on parents cheering for their kid in tournament play....

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

1 hour ago, heavy_hitter said:

Good Luck.  I will forewarn you.  Girl's Golf Parents are the ABSOLUTE worst.  You run into "that Dad" every once in a while in the boy's tournaments.  The girl's tournaments you run into several of "that dad" at every tournament.

Next time @ me bro. 😉

 

I have to agree the girls tour probably brings out the worse in Dads.  In the 3 years or so of PKB we did.  I would only talk to Moms they were laid back and enjoy a nice stroll.  The Dads usually hung on every shot.

[Abh159]

5 minutes ago, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

Next time @ me bro. 😉

 

I have to agree the girls tour probably brings out the worse in Dads.  In the 3 years or so of PKB we did.  I would only talk to Moms they were laid back and enjoy a nice stroll.  The Dads usually hung on every shot.

 

Everyone knows you've failed as a father if your child doesn't become the next Annika. Give they guys a break!!!

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

5 hours ago, TroyB123 said:

I haven't run into that situation, but always forecaddie and will help look for other players balls especially if I get a good look at where it went.   At least 9 times out of 10, finding the ball is beneficial.   It almost seems a bit shady to not look for your ball (and admonish others for looking) if you hit a good provisional.   If they're sure it is in a bad spot, don't declare a provisional.   It's not really the spirit of the rule to pick the better option after hitting a provisional.

 

I usually did it as something to do while waiting or listening to a podcast.  I would never run into the woods when It couldnt be or wanted to be found.

 

We live in the Mid Atlantic so the bentgrass can get high and balls cant be seen diving from 250 yards.

 

Only had one incident that a Dad was running into the woods to find balls only to somehow find a ball with a great lie and easy out.

 

I accompanied him one time and magically he couldnt find it.

[RobS]

2 hours ago, heavy_hitter said:

Good Luck.  I will forewarn you.  Girl's Golf Parents are the ABSOLUTE worst.  You run into "that Dad" every once in a while in the boy's tournaments.  The girl's tournaments you run into several of "that dad" at every tournament.

I only have sons but I've clearly noticed that 9 out of 10 Dad's playing Butch Harmon on the range are coaching their daughters.  I'm not sure if Mom's get involved on the girls side but we have a few on the boys side around my way that are so engaged, you'd think they were part of the tournament staff.  One in particular asks every kid their score when they're walking off the green.  Ironically, her name is Karen.  My son said eagle last year walking by her after a par 3.  She called her son over to tell question him and the poor kid said something to the effect of  'please stop, we're keeping the real score and these guys are going to think I'm a (insert non-PC name)'.  I felt bad for the kid.

[Wham49]

any parent of young athletes seem to be tha tway, I have coached many sports high school down to LL, and they are all that way. I am a dad of a daughter golfer and I stand away unless somebody tries to bully or intimidate her, then I step in. You would be surprised how many parents try to do that to their kids opponents. Once I step in it is over. I am the only male usualy with all moms, I can turn the (word not allowed) mode on pretty quick but only in defense IMO

Edited April 26, 2023 by Wham49

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

1 hour ago, Abh159 said:

 

Everyone knows you've failed as a father if your child doesn't become the next Annika. Give they guys a break!!!

Honestly I just wanna hang out with moms.

[Abh159]

7 minutes ago, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

Honestly I just wanna hang out with moms.

 

Ah, I see. So you're not "that dad" but you are "that dad".

 

Kidding of course, but I assume (hope) you are also 🤣

[heavy_hitter]

 

1 hour ago, RobS said:

I only have sons but I've clearly noticed that 9 out of 10 Dad's playing Butch Harmon on the range are coaching their daughters.  I'm not sure if Mom's get involved on the girls side but we have a few on the boys side around my way that are so engaged, you'd think they were part of the tournament staff.  One in particular asks every kid their score when they're walking off the green.  Ironically, her name is Karen.  My son said eagle last year walking by her after a par 3.  She called her son over to tell question him and the poor kid said something to the effect of  'please stop, we're keeping the real score and these guys are going to think I'm a (insert non-PC name)'.  I felt bad for the kid.

This post gets an A+ from me.  Crazy seeing Butch, Claude, McClean, Haney, all on the range at the same time putting swing thoughts in their daughters head 30 minutes before the tournament.  No better way to get the kids into "swing prison" than that.

 

The worst is the mom or dad putting the sunscreen on for the kid.  🤯

 

There is this Alpha mom out of Orlando that hogs every kids and parents IG post.  Whatever there kids did, her son played there and did it better when he played there.  Kid isn't very good either but to her he is the next Tiger Woods.  Complete Karen in the same you are referring.  Always in the middle of everything.  She is an Alpha and the kid is pure Beta.

Edited April 26, 2023 by heavy_hitter

[golfortennis]

5 hours ago, Abh159 said:

 

Everyone knows you've failed as a father if your child doesn't become the next Annika. Give they guys a break!!!

 

I thought you failed as a dad if you daughter's career involved a pole....

[golfortennis]

10 hours ago, TroyB123 said:

I haven't run into that situation, but always forecaddie and will help look for other players balls especially if I get a good look at where it went.   At least 9 times out of 10, finding the ball is beneficial.   It almost seems a bit shady to not look for your ball (and admonish others for looking) if you hit a good provisional.   If they're sure it is in a bad spot, don't declare a provisional.   It's not really the spirit of the rule to pick the better option after hitting a provisional.

 

HH is right on this. The rule is, your provisional becomes your ball in play once you've played it ahead of where you would reasonably expect to find the first ball.  If you find the first ball, your provisional is null and void.  It does not exist, you do not have the option of playing the provisional.  Your options are play it as it lies, or take the penalty stroke and follow the procedure(two club lengths, back on a line to the pin, or back to the previous  spot a shot was played.)  There is no "better option".  The provisional just saves the time of going back to the tee if the ball can't be found.

 

Mickelson had a situation several years ago in San Diego where he hit a tee shot into the ravine on the left (want to say 17 but not sure), and played a provisional.  He hollered to the people he didn't want the ball to be found, he would just play his fourth shot from the fairway.  Sure enough, someone found his ball.  He was extremely unimpressed because now that it was found, his provisional was no longer able to be played.

 

There is a story on here somewhere of a match at a club for the club championship where one of the players was absolutely despised by the members.  I forget if the match was tied or what, but it was late enough in the match that losing a hole would be a turning point, and (we'll call him) DB yanked a ball into some really heavy scrub on the side of a hill on a side of the fairway.  He played a provisional down the fairway.  It became a race to see if he could play his provisional before the other people found his original ball, because they wanted him to be in the most uncomfortable position and lose the match.

 

The only thing shady is when you find the original ball (not OB of course) but decide "I'll just play the other one" because that's breaking the rules.  Not looking for your original ball so you play the provisional is no worse than taking relief from a sprinkler head near the green and the relief puts you on the green.  Perfectly legal.  

[TroyB123]

1 hour ago, golfortennis said:

 

HH is right on this. The rule is, your provisional becomes your ball in play once you've played it ahead of where you would reasonably expect to find the first ball.  If you find the first ball, your provisional is null and void.  It does not exist, you do not have the option of playing the provisional.  Your options are play it as it lies, or take the penalty stroke and follow the procedure(two club lengths, back on a line to the pin, or back to the previous  spot a shot was played.)  There is no "better option".  The provisional just saves the time of going back to the tee if the ball can't be found.

 

Mickelson had a situation several years ago in San Diego where he hit a tee shot into the ravine on the left (want to say 17 but not sure), and played a provisional.  He hollered to the people he didn't want the ball to be found, he would just play his fourth shot from the fairway.  Sure enough, someone found his ball.  He was extremely unimpressed because now that it was found, his provisional was no longer able to be played.

 

There is a story on here somewhere of a match at a club for the club championship where one of the players was absolutely despised by the members.  I forget if the match was tied or what, but it was late enough in the match that losing a hole would be a turning point, and (we'll call him) DB yanked a ball into some really heavy scrub on the side of a hill on a side of the fairway.  He played a provisional down the fairway.  It became a race to see if he could play his provisional before the other people found his original ball, because they wanted him to be in the most uncomfortable position and lose the match.

 

The only thing shady is when you find the original ball (not OB of course) but decide "I'll just play the other one" because that's breaking the rules.  Not looking for your original ball so you play the provisional is no worse than taking relief from a sprinkler head near the green and the relief puts you on the green.  Perfectly legal.  

I'm familiar with the rule and don't disagree with either of your interpretrations.   

 

Going by the Phil example, I'd say that's a bit shady.   If he hit his provisional into crap somewhere else, then you can bet he'd be asking everyone to look everywhere for his first.  

 

I accept HH's point that parents shouldn't be looking for a ball that the player doesn't want to be found in a jr tournament.  But the playing partners are well within their rights to go look for that ball even if the player doesn't want it to be found, especially if they're in a final group or just want to protect the field.   

 

The player's dad going off to find it in a crap position and pretending to not see it because it's in a crap position and he striped the provisional gets more shady.  I wouldn't go over to check in that scenario, but wouldn't blame another parent for doing it if they suspected a little bit of shenagins going on.

[golfortennis]

11 hours ago, TroyB123 said:

I'm familiar with the rule and don't disagree with either of your interpretrations.   

 

Going by the Phil example, I'd say that's a bit shady.   If he hit his provisional into crap somewhere else, then you can bet he'd be asking everyone to look everywhere for his first.  

 

I accept HH's point that parents shouldn't be looking for a ball that the player doesn't want to be found in a jr tournament.  But the playing partners are well within their rights to go look for that ball even if the player doesn't want it to be found, especially if they're in a final group or just want to protect the field.   

 

The player's dad going off to find it in a crap position and pretending to not see it because it's in a crap position and he striped the provisional gets more shady.  I wouldn't go over to check in that scenario, but wouldn't blame another parent for doing it if they suspected a little bit of shenagins going on.

 

This is where a player's reputation would come into play.  Typically there is a gentlemen's agreement not to go look if the player who hit requested it.  There is nothing preventing someone from looking for a ball, and if the person who hit the ball has a bad reputation, people are more likely to look hard for it.  But at the same time, someone who willfully ignores a request not to look for it risks brandishing themselves with an unwanted reputation.  As flagolf stated, play the provisional they are hitting their 4th shot.  It's not as though they are getting a free pass on this.

 

Sorry, methinks you are looking really hard for something to consider shady, but this ain't it.

[kekoa]

21 hours ago, RobS said:

I only have sons but I've clearly noticed that 9 out of 10 Dad's playing Butch Harmon on the range are coaching their daughters.  I'm not sure if Mom's get involved on the girls side but we have a few on the boys side around my way that are so engaged, you'd think they were part of the tournament staff.  One in particular asks every kid their score when they're walking off the green.  Ironically, her name is Karen.  My son said eagle last year walking by her after a par 3.  She called her son over to tell question him and the poor kid said something to the effect of  'please stop, we're keeping the real score and these guys are going to think I'm a (insert non-PC name)'.  I felt bad for the kid.

 

A new rule should be instated across all junior tours.  'Parents are to stay off the range and refrain from giving any swing advice to their child unless they can break 80.'  Essentially, I would be the only one on the range with my kid.  😎

[RobS]

7 minutes ago, kekoa said:

 

A new rule should be instated across all junior tours.  'Parents are to stay off the range and refrain from giving any swing advice to their child unless they can break 80.'  Essentially, I would be the only one on the range with my kid.  😎

Ha, I'd be ok having the range roped off to players only.  Your proposal would be good though and would clear out 95% of the parents.

[Medson]

20 minutes ago, kekoa said:

A new rule should be instated across all junior tours.  'Parents are to stay off the range and refrain from giving any swing advice to their child unless they can break 80.'  Essentially, I would be the only one on the range with my kid.  😎

 

I don't think it is necessary. How am I supposed to beat them if they don't self deconstruct? 

[heavy_hitter]

51 minutes ago, RobS said:

Ha, I'd be ok having the range roped off to players only.  Your proposal would be good though and would clear out 95% of the parents.

That is the one thing I like about AJGA.  They rope everything off.  No Adults.  Parents stand intently near the ropes with sun screen, drinks, food, anything to be near and attempt to talk to them.  I find it hilarious.  I try to find a chair somewhere and chill.  If the parent is near with anxiety, how can the kid not have it. 

[TroyB123]

My son is playing his first ajga this weekend at a 12-15 preview. He played the qualifier as his practice round and did decent enough to get his first star.

 

We got a vrbo near the 18th green and hanging out on the patio watching the kids do their afternoon practice round and have to agree the girl dads are nuts!  A few had the officials send them to the cart path and we watched one dad just screaming at his daughter for chunking a chip on the 18th hole of a practice round!  How can he possibly think that’s going to help her play better or not have her quit in a year!?!

 

on a side note a 2028 girl shot a -10 in the qualifier today to win by 10!  

[SE Gamer]

On 3/28/2023 at 10:56 PM, leezer99 said:

 

This reminds me of a time my son and I went out of state for a regional us kids event and our threesome had THIRTY spectators. There was a literal chain of carts following our group, parents had made poster signs, there were grandparents, parents, babies, a dog and so on. Of those 30 people following our group we had zero. It was such a weird event.

 

Oof. Sounds like the same type of people that'll drag their whole family to a pre-school graduation and hoot and holler when their kid is called. 

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

On 4/28/2023 at 10:52 PM, SE Gamer said:

 

Oof. Sounds like the same type of people that'll drag their whole family to a pre-school graduation and hoot and holler when their kid is called. 

You dont have pictures or proof that was me.  Stop spreading rumors. 😉

[leezer99]

I had to dig but found this thread again... Thought this video was pretty poignant and it's disheartened me to see that this behavior has continued onto the PGAT. Video should start around 55:19 and you only need to watch 30 seconds of it to hear Bobby Brown (caddie for SH Kim) speak about Sahith's fans over cheering and being obnoxious while they were playing together.