Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[Chief Illiniwek]

[quote name='BKN1964' timestamp='1437778818' post='12014960']
The other day at the range, a woman in the bay to my right (I'm a righty) had a rather large backside in proportion to the rest of her body, which was fairly standard. That in-and-of itself wouldn't have caught my attention, except that she was wearing what appeared to be dark gray bicycling pants or something similar. You could see every ... single ... contour. I'm talking full-on, deep wedgie. It looked like a dark gray nude humanoid alien. It was kind of like a trainwreck where I couldn't help looking.

I will say on the positive side that she hit the ball really well. Her drives were 220 yards straight down the range.
[/quote]

Probably was able to keep her glutes well activated.

[Jseale]

[quote name='VinSteenburg' timestamp='1437738112' post='12011198']
Didn't hear it but saw it... warming up on the range last night. When my brother and I got there a couple and a small kid were already hitting balls. I did some light stretching and began my routine. I look up at the couple and to my disbelief the man and woman were in full make-out session. To the point where I thought they were going to drop down and going to bang right there.
[/quote]
"Dad, I think he's going to pork her"
- Rusty Griswold

[Interpol]

Saw this yesterday. A guy in a stall at the end of the range takes a break and proceeds to walk from stall to stall, watches each person take a few swings, then proceeds to give them a mini lesson on what they did wrong and what they can do to correct it. He even asked if he could demonstrate a few times and actually hit a few of someone else's range balls. Unbelievable.

When he got to me (I was about 10 stalls down from where he was), I just politely refused his advice and he moved on to the next stall. Amazing what some people will tolerate at the range.

[Stick21]

[quote name='BKN1964' timestamp='1437778818' post='12014960']
The other day at the range, a woman in the bay to my right (I'm a righty) had a rather large backside in proportion to the rest of her body, which was fairly standard. That in-and-of itself wouldn't have caught my attention, except that she was wearing what appeared to be dark gray bicycling pants or something similar. You could see every ... single ... contour. I'm talking full-on, deep wedgie. It looked like a dark gray nude humanoid alien. It was kind of like a trainwreck where I couldn't help looking.

I will say on the positive side that she hit the ball really well. Her drives were 220 yards straight down the range.
[/quote]

That's hot

[sappytop]

[quote name='ei19' timestamp='1436983536' post='11954724'] [quote name='pbfoot' timestamp='1436983298' post='11954710']Not sure how it's distracting? Do you walk around when your playing partner is teeing off on the course?[/quote] It's the driving range!!! I agree, go to the far end of the range. [/quote]

some people call it the driving range...others call it the practice tee.

[jbhawx]

The story as told by a buddy of mine:

So me and my friend were at the range and he was crushing 300+ yard drives off the tee. He was close to hitting a golf instructor on the other side of the range. When we left we drove 300 yards in our car so we can verify that he was hitting 300 yards.

My thoughts: When does a car tell you how far it has driven in yardage?

[2putttom]

Last week I heard a senior player say " I swung so hard my testicles wrapped around my leg".

[sheppy335]

I have 14 Drivers, do i need anything else?

[CosmosMpower]

[quote name='JohnSimon' timestamp='1437755591' post='12012828']
Years ago, when Tiger was in his prime, I heard a guy say, "Tiger is so dialed in for yardages and accuracy that he doesn't hit his irons at the flag because his ball will hit the flagstick and bounce who knows where."

I was pretty stunned and really wondered where he would have heard that.
[/quote]

Reminds me of something that happened at the course yesterday. I had a 30 yard pitch in to the green hit it too hard but dead on line with the flag. I called for it to "stick" so it wouldn't fly off the back of the green. Instead the ball smacked right into the flag stick and dropped a few feet away. My playing partners laughed for a while.

[beerpressure]

Was working on my driver swing path yesterday. Ground was hard as a rock and tees kept busting off so i picked up a snapped off one and teed it a hair lower than usual. Hit a horrible fat driver shot and the ball hardly went anywhere.

Guy working there: you should tee it higher it will go higher up in the air me
Me: uhh yeah. i hit it fat.
Him: were you trying to do that?

seriously what an idiot. Why would I be trying to do that?

[Chomper]

I need to go to a better range. No good stories where I hit balls.

[lampenjo]

**chains** guy at the range the other day had a chain he would swing around between swings. When I got home a Google search revealed it was a speed trainer of sorts. It definitely sped up the rate I was hitting balls so I could get out of there.

[dan360]

A guy came and went the far right of a covered range. There were four people already there, including me. He took out his driver, and started talking to himself as he made practice swings. Not loud enough to hear what he was saying but he was making continuous practice swings back n forth n forth n back while mumbling to himself.

Then he started hitting balls. Every shot included a preshot routine of a deep exhale. No practice swings. Just tee up a ball, step back, grip the club, exhale deeply, and swing.

He'd say something loud enough to hear him clearly, after every shot.



A shot he deemed good was a "That's It, Baby!" or a "There you Go, Baby!"

A shot he deemed bad was either a "Noooooo!" or a "Uh oh not good!"

An obviously bad shot, like a top, or shank, or something sliced into the RH netting was a loud "God Dammit, Don!" then he'd slam the club into the mat.


This went on for an entire large bucket of balls. The other four of us maybe hit 20 balls total for the entire time he was in there. He was oblivious to us watching, and continued the conversation with himself the entire time, mumbling something.....

When he was done, he picked up his bucket and clubs and walked out.

[KimSeHo]

"Don't use blades! They suck! These days even PGA tour players aren't using blades and are converting to GI irons"

Like what the f

[Drudersh]

[quote name='KimSeHo' timestamp='1438173490' post='12040196']
"Don't use blades! They suck! These days even PGA tour players aren't using blades and are converting to GI irons"

Like what the f
[/quote]

Ehhhhhh, relatively true. Isn't it something like less than 25% of the PGA Tour players at this point using a true bladed iron?

[dan360]

[quote name='Drudersh' timestamp='1438175795' post='12040392']
[quote name='KimSeHo' timestamp='1438173490' post='12040196']
"Don't use blades! They suck! These days even PGA tour players aren't using blades and are converting to GI irons"

Like what the f
[/quote]

Ehhhhhh, relatively true. Isn't it something like less than 25% of the PGA Tour players at this point using a true bladed iron?
[/quote]

Oh no you didn't!!!!


lol

[roundersmitty]

[quote name='youngstructural' timestamp='1437750559' post='12012290']

The other things complained about at the range:

1) There was a bright ball of something in the sky, must have been gas or a light, something that kept making him warm and messing with his vision
2) The soil comp at the range was a touch too silty and thus the grains of sediment on the face of his club required he needed to wipe them too much
3) The curvature of the earth made it difficult for him to estimate his yardages
4) Somebody approaching the range from hundreds of feet away cleared their throat
5) The amount of nitrogen to oxygen in the air ... ratio was off.


Dripping with sarcasm. [/quote]

All kidding aside...#2 always happens to me at new ranges. And I won't hit a ball with sand in the grooves.

[jbhawx]

[quote name='dan360' timestamp='1438177133' post='12040522']
[quote name='Drudersh' timestamp='1438175795' post='12040392']
[quote name='KimSeHo' timestamp='1438173490' post='12040196']
"Don't use blades! They suck! These days even PGA tour players aren't using blades and are converting to GI irons"

Like what the f
[/quote]

Ehhhhhh, relatively true. Isn't it something like less than 25% of the PGA Tour players at this point using a true bladed iron?
[/quote]

Oh no you didn't!!!!


lol
[/quote]

Thank sponsors for this. The big companies know they aren't going to sell blades to the average guy who likes to watch golf and follow a particular pro. So what do they do? they give the pro the equipment that is the latest and greatest, or what they are trying to sell to that average guy. Juice, tweak, and fit it perfectly to the pro, and watch him work wonders with it. Then the average guy says man I need those CBs because so and so Pro won said tournament with them.

That my friends is what product placement is all about, and how it works...

[gatorgolf2940]

This thread enticed me into my first post...

An older couple (late 60s/early 70s) came up to the spot next to me. The husband quietly moved a chair so he could sit behind his wife and watch her hit. She had about five or six clubs with her. After hitting about ten shots, she stops me and asks if she can use my four iron. I politely told her that I do not carry a four iron. She then asks for my three iron... I don't carry a three iron either (I use hybrids for my longer irons). Again, I politely told her that I don't have a three iron. At this point she seemed upset and said "Well what club of yours can I hit?". I was really surprised by this and didn't quite know what to say. I think I was polite, but probably came off a bit harsher than I intended when I told her "you cannot hit any of my clubs, I'm sorry".

I'm a high handicapper and am fairly new to the game, playing on and off for the last few years (with a 18 month break due to a back injury). I've never asked to borrow anyone's clubs, even my closest friends that I play with, let alone a stranger.

Am I correct to assume that this lady was out of her mind for wanting to practice with my clubs?

[Titleist 670]

Yes.

[Wirepuller]

Maybe it was a different kind of 4 iron she was interested in?

[KimSeHo]

[quote name='Drudersh' timestamp='1438175795' post='12040392']
[quote name='KimSeHo' timestamp='1438173490' post='12040196']
"Don't use blades! They suck! These days even PGA tour players aren't using blades and are converting to GI irons"

Like what the f
[/quote]

Ehhhhhh, relatively true. Isn't it something like less than 25% of the PGA Tour players at this point using a true bladed iron?
[/quote]

He meant ALL PGA tour players

[mredd07]

[quote name='Nellarecneps' timestamp='1437739511' post='12011262']
Asked why I use all old equipment (I'm a new golfer and its what I can afford) by a guy with an obviously new set of taylormade everything. After I answered he said it's really worth spending the extra money and hits a monster slice with his driver. I just so happened to not have a case of the shanks and ball toppers that day and probably hit a straight 200 yard drive and he just said "mine would go further if I was trying"
[/quote]

Lmao taylormade makes great woods i wouldnt buy the irons but thats funny. i know i suck i have a taylormade driver and a hybrid but id never waste hat much money when i know i aint that great.

[mredd07]

[quote name='BKN1964' timestamp='1437778818' post='12014960']
The other day at the range, a woman in the bay to my right (I'm a righty) had a rather large backside in proportion to the rest of her body, which was fairly standard. That in-and-of itself wouldn't have caught my attention, except that she was wearing what appeared to be dark gray bicycling pants or something similar. You could see every ... single ... contour. I'm talking full-on, deep wedgie. It looked like a dark gray nude humanoid alien. It was kind of like a trainwreck where I couldn't help looking.

I will say on the positive side that she hit the ball really well. Her drives were 220 yards straight down the range.
[/quote]

Lucky!

[Nuggets]

[quote name='gatorgolf2940' timestamp='1438199359' post='12043188']
This thread enticed me into my first post...

An older couple (late 60s/early 70s) came up to the spot next to me. The husband quietly moved a chair so he could sit behind his wife and watch her hit. She had about five or six clubs with her. After hitting about ten shots, she stops me and asks if she can use my four iron. I politely told her that I do not carry a four iron. She then asks for my three iron... I don't carry a three iron either (I use hybrids for my longer irons). Again, I politely told her that I don't have a three iron. At this point she seemed upset and said "Well what club of yours can I hit?". I was really surprised by this and didn't quite know what to say. I think I was polite, but probably came off a bit harsher than I intended when I told her "you cannot hit any of my clubs, I'm sorry".

I'm a high handicapper and am fairly new to the game, playing on and off for the last few years (with a 18 month break due to a back injury). I've never asked to borrow anyone's clubs, even my closest friends that I play with, let alone a stranger.

Am I correct to assume that this lady was out of her mind for wanting to practice with my clubs?
[/quote]

I wouldn't let friends borrow my clubs on the range or the course usually and if I do I tell them if they damage it they've bought it at retail. That usually stops them

I'd lend it to my brother or dad if he wanted but not my putter as those two game without headcovers and just let them get dinged up.....gave my bro a lovely and I mean seriously ding free, shaft band/sticker still perfect Scotty Newport Studio Style, the one with the GSS insert.....couple of rounds later it looked like it'd been thrown in a rock polisher. Luckily he paid for it before hand but I know some people wont treat clubs as well as I do so I don't lend them out

Only reason I'd lend out a driver or iron on the tee/range is to watch him struggle to load a 95x

[onnex]

This thread has me questioning my choice to wearing headphones at the range.

[Jaygolf37]

The guy that puts his club down behind the ball...you know, aiming with the shaft...then walks around it, carefully picks up the club...making sure not to disturb the perfect alignment/face angle...then proceeds to skull the ball 50 yards down range. He then proceeds to return the club to the ground...this time by spiking it. Witnessed.

[gambit]

Earlier this year, I was in Vegas on the range at Paiute pretty early in the morning. The place is pretty busy, and I take the stall next to this old guy. He had to be late 80s at the youngest, very hunched over and just kind of slapped balls a few yards. Anyways, I guess he knew some of the guys there (probably a regular) and he started talking to another guy in his 50s probably. He says to the guy "After the round how about you bring the wife over. I'll pull out some chicken and BBQ, we'll have some beers and wine, and then we can have some p*ssy".

I immediately topped my driver.

[MaybeImLeftHanded]

"you keep lifting your head." Head that a million times. Might not be the main issue everyone.

[Endres]

"Legitimately, what do you think we would have shot today?"