Do your kids only play golf?

[TroyB123]

21 minutes ago, MikeW2 said:

My oldest son played basketball, street hockey, soccer, golf, on a kickball team, took karate (earning an adult black belt) piano and saxophone lessons was in plays and choir, we did anything he seemed to show interest in. At 13 he said to me that he wanted to be really good at basketball and stop doing everything but karate. I asked him why and it was his answer that made the decision for us as parents to allow him to concentrate almost exclusively on basketball. I love it, I love the games, I love going to practices, I love playing alone in the driveway and I do have fun with doing other things but I would rather be playing basketball. I want to play in college like you guys did. You know your kids and I knew mine was sincere. I was also honest with him, sacrifice and hard work are no guarantee, you can put in all the work and miss out on things and it may not pan out. That’s fine he said I want to play college basketball and I’m ready to do whatever it takes. I made him promise me that he would tell me the minute it wasn’t fun for him and we would stop playing seriously and would only do it as a fun thing. He then presented me with AAU programs for summer spring and fall that he’d already been researching. So we “specialized” in hoop.

 

Earlier this winter he had to stop playing…two broken ankles and a torn knee in high school robbed him of his D1 dream as they took most of his explosiveness and lateral quickness away. He did play D3 but lockdown eliminated his 1st year, getting long Covid ended season 2, then a weightlifting room accident re-injured his knee. Tough conversation followed that, more for me than him. Dad I can’t do this anymore, I can’t rehab again even when I’m healthy the amount of pain I’m in isn’t worth it anymore. I know what he did to make his dream happen, I saw the effort, the grind, the commitment, the determination especially after every set back. Him not getting to play anymore broke my heart. Told him as much and he said it’s ok that he wouldn’t change anything and the fun we had working together. He reminded me of our first conversation and how I’d told him there weren’t any guarantees and that he was ok with not playing.
 

What I did get as a parent out of the dream chase that specialization is, is a kid that sees a big picture, a long term goal and works for it just an awesome work ethic, completely driven and self motivated. It taught him to handle his responsibilities in timely and proper fashion so that he could do the stuff he wanted. Helped him learn to fight through adversity and to accept disappointment in a mature fashion. This chase through specialization truly helped us prepare my son for whatever life throws his way. If the desire to specialize comes from the child and you as a parent remain aware of the child’s real desires doing so can be beneficial in more ways than just achieving an athletic goal.

The bolded part can really be an epiphany for some kids are parents.  My son had a talent for a few sports, and started specializing in baseball and looked like he had the chance to go somewhere with it.   He'd work on his pitching for as much time as was healthy, but dreaded having to go to practice and the full weekend tournaments where he was mostly a pitcher.   Somewhere along the line, he discovered the driving range at the baseball facility and started looking forward more to being able to use that than his baseball practices.  Got him on the course a bit, and he started looking pretty good, and quickly had a passion you could see.  A few months later he hit an approach shot wide and sat down in full tears saying he'd never get good at golf if he has to spend so much time at baseball.   I let him quit baseball a couple weeks later, and he's been on the course or working on his game every single day since going on two years now, and he's now so much more motivated to get any school work out of the way as soon as he can, his grades went from A/Bs to all As, and I haven't even had to follow up on his school work in well over a year.

[MikeW2]

59 minutes ago, leezer99 said:

 

Thank you for sharing. This was really well articulated and I'll probably share with the wife. I primarily foster my son's golf addiction and she fosters my daughters gymnastics ambitions. 

 

Would be interested to hear how he hurt himself in the gym. My son has taken to weight lifting at school and I worry every day that he's going to try for a PB and hurt himself. The coach is pretty good but you know, boys will be boys.

The injury was caused by one of the assistant trainers mistakenly reading the instructions from the head trainer as to what exercises my son was supposed to be doing on leg days. Because of his previous injuries he had his own workout plan put together by the head guy, unfortunately his team did weight training at 6AM when one of the assistants would oversee the facility. What they had him doing was straining an already weakened joint and it filled with fluid, it was not his personalized regiment it was for another kid playing another sport at the school. Like you said boys will be boys and my son is no different so he kept trying to power through, what he was doing was different than his teammates so he assumed it was his program, he thought the pain was because he needed to strengthen up. He was icing for an hour before and after any team activity just so he could participate and walk around campus. They had a preseason scrimmage in which he played great, was really happy, about an hour after the game his knee was swollen to the size of a soccer ball and he couldn’t fully bend it or walk. It was then that he decided his body had had enough. Knee was drained and orthopedic told him that he could expect this to be a regular occurrence if he were to continue playing, that he’d increase an already high likelihood of arthritis or possibly worse. Career over officially even though he had made that decision prior to the visit.

[caligolfer2103]

On 3/1/2023 at 11:20 AM, kekoa said:

Another Asian dad here.  LOL!!

 

My son has been playing golf from the age of 2.  He will be 13 next month.  I would say he specialized since age 8 or so.  I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I do for sure enjoy being at the golf course a lot more than a basketball gym or soccer field.  My son is good at pretty much every sport he as ever played, but excels most in golf.  If there was something I'd change looking back is the age he started playing tournament golf.  He played is first tournament at age 5.  I wish I postponed this maybe to age 9 or 10.  I'd also like to change the fact that he won so much as a youngster.  Odd, but true.

 

Personally, I've told him the only way for him to get into a decent college is through golf.  Maybe a little harsh, but that is reality around my parts.  He isn't coding or creating apps like some of the other kids are doing.  He does well in school, but so is every other kid.  Difference is, instead of golf, they go to tutoring after school to make sure they are doing work at grade levels two or three years above them.  

Haha, I'm just busting your chops as I love your posts. But it was so funny to read this, because it reminded me of the classic Asian parent humblebrag, lol! I totally get your point, but reading it just brought back so many memories.

[kekoa]

10 minutes ago, caligolfer2103 said:

Haha, I'm just busting your chops as I love your posts. But it was so funny to read this, because it reminded me of the classic Asian parent humblebrag, lol! I totally get your point, but reading it just brought back so many memories.

Just a gentle flex.  Nothing more.  Like they say, those wins as a 8yr old don't mean sh*t.  lmao!!

[caligolfer2103]

11 minutes ago, kekoa said:

Just a gentle flex.  Nothing more.  Like they say, those wins as a 8yr old don't mean sh*t.  lmao!!

Ha, loved it. I still keep some of his tournament balls when he's done well. Someday when he's famous, i'll put them on display, lol.

[osu1925]

Definitely some great takes on this topic.  My wife and I have this discussion all the time.  We live in a very small town, so the expectation to play every sport is very high.  My son is finishing up his junior year and the topic has come to head again.  I have been pushing pretty hard for him to focus just on golf.  He wants to play golf in college and we spend a lot of money on equipment, travel, swing coach, and tournaments.  Unfortunately (honestly not trying to brag) he is the best athlete in his school, so he has a lot of pressure on him to play more than just golf.  He has been the starting quarterback since his sophomore year and has been a starter every year of high school on the basketball team.  My wife is slowly coming around to the idea of him at least giving up football and concentrating on fall golf tournaments his senior year. 

 

 

Edited May 10, 2023 by osu1925

[RmoorePE]

42 minutes ago, osu1925 said:

Definitely some great takes on this topic.  My wife and I have this discussion all the time.  We live in a very small town, so the expectation to play every sport is very high.  My son is finishing up his junior year and the topic has come to head again.  I have been pushing pretty hard for him to focus just on golf.  He wants to play golf in college and we spend a lot of money on equipment, travel, swing coach, and tournaments.  Unfortunately (honestly not trying to brag), he is the best athlete in his school, so he has a lot of pressure on him to play more than just golf.  He has been the starting quarterback since his sophomore year and has been a starter every year of high school on the basketball team.  My wife is slowly coming around to the idea of him at least giving up football and concentrating on fall golf tournaments his senior year. 

 

 

 

I think that giving up football is probably an easy choice. Chance of injury is too high. We are in a small town and I have seen plenty of kids give up football to protect themselves for basketball, baseball and golf. We have also seen kids miss their entire senior basketball season due to a football injury. The best male athlete in my kids' small school plays golf instead of football, and he gets a ton of pressure around it. One of my good friends introduced that particular kid to golf when he was in 8th grade and he fell in love with it. When he didn't show up for football on the first day of his freshman year, the head coach called my friend on the phone and chewed him a new one.

 

Football is a lot of fun for a small town, and I can see your wife's point, but if golf is his thing the risk is pretty high.

 

 

[Bizzle80]

I have a daughter so don't need to worry about football injuries, but she does JiuJitsu and I definitely wince when they are doing throws and pulling arm bars on each other. She loves it, and I like that she knows about a dozen ways to take someone to the ground and as many ways to tap someone out...but pease dont hurt your hands, wrists or elbows....

[Scootre]

My daughter has been dancing since she was 4 and has been doing it competitively for 5 years now. She's 14, turning 15 this summer. Due to her dance schedule this year she won't get get to play in her first "summer" tournament until July. At this time we don't have dreams of her playing college golf and use the summer for her to sharpen her game for the high school season. She made 1st team all conference as a freshman last season shooting in the 90s. She's also acting in a play this summer too. She's hoping to make her school poms dance team this fall as well after putting it off for golf this school year.

We have no idea if that and golf will work out. 

 

[leezer99]

19 minutes ago, Scootre said:

My daughter has been dancing since she was 4 and has been doing it competitively for 5 years now. She's 14, turning 15 this summer. Due to her dance schedule this year she won't get get to play in her first "summer" tournament until July. At this time we don't have dreams of her playing college golf and use the summer for her to sharpen her game for the high school season. She made 1st team all conference as a freshman last season shooting in the 90s. She's also acting in a play this summer too. She's hoping to make her school poms dance team this fall as well after putting it off for golf this school year.

We have no idea if that and golf will work out. 

 

And I’ve got a hard time getting to church on Sunday.. kudos to you and the family on a seemingly crazy busy schedule. 

[Scootre]

15 minutes ago, leezer99 said:

And I’ve got a hard time getting to church on Sunday.. kudos to you and the family on a seemingly crazy busy schedule. 

It was a lot easier before her brother went to college. 

[luderiffic]

I'm the original author of this post, thought I'd share my update.

 

My son is 12, will be 13 in October and has been playing competitive baseball for the past 3+ years.  We also play golf when we can, but honestly its secondary to baseball only because the demands for baseball are actually greater than golf.  We have tended to focus heavily on golf during the summers and play quite a few tournaments but end up having to put alot of time and effort into baseball just to keep up.  He has started to mention to me about starting to specialize in one or the other, however which one depends on how he is playing better at that particular time.  His golf game suffers from consistency, he is a solid player with good mechanics and tough mental game.  He simply can't put together a full round as something is always off, depending on the day.  One day his driving is great but the putter is off, then it flips the next day.  I know this is from a lack of repetitive training year round.  I feel like he has the baseline to be good/elite at golf once he focuses on it 100%. 

 

However, we have encouraged him to stick with both for now, he is very small and plays above his size in baseball but I don't see that happening much longer.  He is only 4'9 @ 80lbs getting ready to play middle school ball where a majority of the kids already hit puberty.  The team aspect is something that we feel is very important to him as he continues to mature.  He is already a bit reclusive, so baseball forces him to be part of a team, be an encourager, etc. 

 

I'll revisit this post in a year to update again