Beginner Golfer Question

[Ballcoach35]

Good morning everybody.

 

Signed my 5 year old up for his first par 3 beginner tournament in April. 10 shot max per hole with 6 holes. Our goals for him are to have fun and to learn the rules in a pressure free environment. 
 

my hope is that he wants to keep coming back. he goes with me when I play and he hits on the range. 
 

I’m taking any and all advice on how to achieve our goals.

[Movingday]

44 minutes ago, Ballcoach35 said:

Good morning everybody.

 

Signed my 5 year old up for his first par 3 beginner tournament in April. 10 shot max per hole with 6 holes. Our goals for him are to have fun and to learn the rules in a pressure free environment. 
 

my hope is that he wants to keep coming back. he goes with me when I play and he hits on the range. 
 

I’m taking any and all advice on how to achieve our goals.

This may not be a popular opinion, but I would limit/eliminate tournaments completely. We can try all we want, but playing in a tournament brings pressure. Not sure what the magic age is, but neither of mine started tournaments until 8. Even then it was limited to a handful the first year. See if there are some junior programs/camps/leagues in your area. 

With that said:

1. Have fun

2. Have fun

3. Relax and have fun

4. Let him practice when he wants (just ask if he wants to go, if he says no then don’t push)

5. Do not spend hours on the range trying to fix his swing. If he’s an athlete he will figure it out. 

6. Chip and putt a lot. Try to play games when doing this

7. Teach him etiquette more than rules 

8. Don’t put him in a Stealth driver

9. Have fun

10. When you go play, drop a ball for him around the green and let him play the hole.

 

I’m sure others have advice, but the big one for me is the same with all youth sports. Just remember it’s supposed to be fun and his golf game isn’t a reflection on you. It’s completely his

Edited March 15, 2022 by Movingday

[darter79]

5 minutes ago, Movingday said:

This may not be a popular opinion, but I would limit/eliminate tournaments completely. We can try all we want, but playing in a tournament brings pressure. Not sure what the magic age is, but neither of mine started tournaments until 8. Even then it was limited to a handful the first year. See if there are some junior programs/camps/leagues in your area. 

With that said:

1. Have fun

2. Have fun

3. Relax and have fun

4. Let him practice when he wants (just ask if he wants to go, if he says no then don’t push)

5. Do not spend hours on the range trying to fix his swing. If he’s an athlete he will figure it out. 

6. Chip and putt a lot. Try to play games when doing this

7. Teach him etiquette more than rules 

8. Don’t put him in a Stealth driver

9. Have fun

10. When you go play, drop a ball for him around the green and let him play the hole.

 

I’m sure others have advice, but the big one for me is the same with all youth sports. Just remember it’s supposed to be fun and his golf game isn’t a reflection on you. It’s completely his

I know I signed my kid up about 6-9 months too soon. Started at 6 should have waited a big longer. But at the same time our local tour had a few kids all around the same golf skill level and they developed together. But it was fun way to meet new people and to play with folks outside of golf. 

[Ballcoach35]

3 minutes ago, darter79 said:

I know I signed my kid up about 6-9 months too soon. Started at 6 should have waited a big longer. But at the same time our local tour had a few kids all around the same golf skill level and they developed together. But it was fun way to meet new people and to play with folks outside of golf. 

Why do you say you signed up up too early?

[Abh159]

Agree with the above poster that a tournament probably isn't the best place to learn the rules. Especially for someone as young as 5. 

 

I'm not saying you need to cancel, but you need to go into it knowing that your son (or some other kid) is probably going to break a few rules along the way and you need to be okay with that.

 

Other than that just let him enjoy it. If he has fun and wants to do it again then great. If he doesn't enjoy it and doesn't want to play again then also great.

[darter79]

47 minutes ago, Ballcoach35 said:

Why do you say you signed up up too early?

 

Couldn't hit a ball consistently, couldn't chip couldn't putt. Couldn't score enough to keep it respectable at that time. First event was umm 61? Something like that. I could be wrong but low 60's.  But hey the winner was high 50s so there you go. Just looking back should have waited till she was more consistent in terms of ability. But I've played with kids who shot in the 80s on 9 holes with 10 hole max. At 5 I wouldn't do it but that is me knowing what I know now. Has he been playing for a while? can he get the ball in the hole? 

[Is Golf Fun or Work]

My son started playing at age 5, took group lessons and some individual lessons from PGA Teaching Pros who focused on kids.

 

Most importantly, make sure they have FUN above all else.

[kcap]

Different approaches to everything.  We did not start playing tournaments till my son was 9 or 10. I remember watching some kids play at that time and they looked like seasoned pros. Prior to those tournaments my son and i would just play at our club.

Personally, I am glad we never got into tournament at a very early age.  I feel tournament golf is different, the practice is draining.  I see parents making their 7 yr practice 50x 5 ft putts and i am ready to shoot myself. 

 

If you aim is to make your kid always come back and play more.. then figure out what gets him excited.

  

What made my son come back and why he keeps coming back - he likes the thrill of tournaments, be better than another kid etc.

[RmoorePE]

The goal at 5 is to make the golf course his happy place. Place where he is comfortable and looks forward to going.

 

That is the foundation for building a kid who loves the game and process of getting better. That's how you win as a parent.

 

My kids and I have been through all of the youth sports (soccer, golf, basketball, volleyball fastpitch) from ages 4 through the time I delivered my kids and teams to their High School coaches. 3 daughters, one graduated, one in 10th grade and one about to be a Freshman. With my experience I realized that most of youth sports regarding tournaments and leagues, is wasted time and money. IF the goal is success in older ages (HS and beyond). Some kids just want to play games and that is fine too.

 

My 8th grader has played about 1/4 of the amount of games than the older two, but has spent 10X the amount of time in the backyard court, driving range, putting green, empty gym, empty course and weight room with me by her side and she will be a beast in her HS career compared to the other two.

 

I had serious FOMO with my younger daughter, when travel teams formed and her friends played on them, and parents posted pictures from tournaments far and wide. While she stayed in the backyard dribbling with those funny glasses that don't let you look down, or on our local goat track hitting wedges at dark. We still get FOMO with her golf competitors playing a lot more tournaments than she does.

 

Just in the last week she went to her first high school basketball 'open gym' and her footwork, ball skills and strength jumped out instantly against the oldest kids in the program. Coach knew about her from 8th grade games, but I think coach was shocked at how much more skill she had compared to her varsity starters.

 

My point is, take the opportunity to spend as much time investing directly into your kids as you can. Sure take them to camps and coaches, play a few tournaments, but the best time is what you do together. I don't try to coach my daughter,  we come up with what we want to do with our time, and then work on it together (sometimes she fails, sometimes it clicks). I will miss these times more than anything as she moves into high school and more organized team/tournament activities.

 

 

[MB19]

2 hours ago, RmoorePE said:

While she stayed in the backyard dribbling with those funny glasses that don't let you look down, or on our local goat track hitting wedges at dark. We still get FOMO with her golf competitors playing a lot more tournaments than she does.

 

Just in the last week she went to her first high school basketball 'open gym' and her footwork, ball skills and strength jumped out instantly against the oldest kids in the program. Coach knew about her from 8th grade games, but I think coach was shocked at how much more skill she had compared to her varsity starters.

 

 

My dad made me a homemade pair of those glasses (goggles, though) and it really helped.  Breaking my right arm three years later also helped... so much, in fact, that my basketball coach initially thought I was left-handed by my handle.  Here's the rub--my shooting was so bad back then, that he asked me why I didn't shoot lefty as well.

[Goldenhawk]

9 hours ago, Movingday said:

 

8. Don’t put him in a Stealth driver

 

Hey, my youngest son plays a Stealth Driver.  Granted he is 13-1/2 years old, 5’4” tall, a long hitter for his age, and has been playing for almost 10 years.

For a beginner golfer, get the most forgiving clubs that fit.  Have fun.

 

A good way to introduce him to competitive golf is through the PGA Junior League Program.  He won’t play alone and will have a partner for every shot and putt.  Best ball is the format.  At that age, they will play from the shortest (kids blue) tees, so distance is not an issue.  They also hangout and practice with older teammates and can learn from them.

[hangontight]

 Lots of good advice here.  Some conflicting too - none wrong.   My 11 YO son has been playing tmnts since age 5...he loves it (mostly) *also plays multiple sports...so tmnt golf remains seasonal*.   I tried to get my 7 YO into it last year...and she could care less.  He has an orderly personality - so tournament play suits him well.  On the other hand,  ,my daughters cartwheels have improved dramatically over her golf career.   You know your kid better than anyone.   Trust your instinct, but dont be afraid to give them a chance to impress you....maybe its 6 hole event, maybe PGA Junior League, maybe UKSG, maybe it is still just riding along with you..try them all and see what the best fit is. 

 

- Play the tmnt!  - If it is something both you and your kid WANT to do, then play.  Dont worry about how high his score is.  If high score is an issue, the tmnt would post a scoring requirement.   IMO this is what beginners tmnts are for.  We've had ups and downs, but tmnt golf has been a really fun and enriching part of our family life - lots of great experiences, friends made, and lessons learned for everyone.    

- Expect fast improvement.   Something about tmnt play makes the young kids focus and with a little guidance they can cut their scores by like 10-15 strokes, mostly once they figure out how to not 4 and 5 putt every hole, ha! 

- Check yourself -  I can almost guaranty at some point YOU will get too serious and push it too hard.  "Goal is to have fun..." is admirable, but its very hard to not get caught up in it.   Be honest with yourself when you do and know when to pull back.  You'll make mistakes, its OK. Learn and grow.  

- Dont compare (too much).. You will be blown away real quick when you show up to the "Fun Tmnt" and another 6 year old is shooting 3 under par!  That 6 year old practices 6 days a week for 4 hours.  Others can attest, this is no exaggeration.   Keep your eye on the long game.  Others will say that kid will be burned out and not around in 5 years...maybe, maybe not.  I do think some kids can take being driven that hard, but I would say not most.  Certainly not my kid.    

- He is not trying to hit a bad shot  - He may not(will not) focus, may not check his set up, will smash a 5' putt 10' past the hole, will cry, will lose interest, will not hydrate as much as you know he should,  will try to hit a shot with a mouth full of food, .....on and on...but remember, he wasnt trying to hit a bad shot...and he sure doesnt need you to tell him.  Dont be hard on him.  Find careful words and timing if you choose to bring it up (which may be on another day all together...be patient).

- READ GOLF WRX (with discretion)!....there is a wealth of knowledge on this thread to be had.  Lots of folks with good experience happy to share.  BUT unfortunately you'll need to sift through some not so helpful takes along the way and some who will inevitably turn every topic into a dispute.  You'll figure out very quickly which users to completely ignore.     

 

GOOD LUCK and HAVE FUN.   Lots of great memories ahead!

Edited March 16, 2022 by hangontight

[kekoa]

I think playing a par 3 tournament is a great way to get your kid's 'feet wet' in a competitive setting.   Thinking back, my son played his first US kids tournament at 5 yrs old.   I had no expectations and didn't care what he shot.   I think he scored 52 or something for 9 holes and we had a blast.   Those were the good old days.  If I were to do it all over again, I won't start my kid in tournaments probably until he is about 7 or maybe even 8.

 

Get to know some of the other kids/dads out there any plan some future golf outings to keep things fun and enjoyable.  There are tons and tons of nut jobs out there so be careful, but it is fairly easy to weed these guys out if you stay on the tournament circuit.

 

Best of luck.  

[Ballcoach35]

I kinda was thinking this TNMT would be similar to Tee ball or smart start basketball. 
 

thank you all for the great advice. Hopefully he wants to go back.

[heavy_hitter]

1 hour ago, Ballcoach35 said:

I kinda was thinking this TNMT would be similar to Tee ball or smart start basketball. 
 

thank you all for the great advice. Hopefully he wants to go back.

 

My son started swinging the club at 5.  8 is when I put him in his first USKG tournament.  Hole 2 I thought "what did I get us into?"  We were on the tee box and the older kids were on hole 8 green which was adjacent to us.  Dad starts yelling at another dad "You mother %$^@ I am going to beat your #$%."  A chase ensues with one father chasing the other father around the course with the one being chased hopping in someones golf cart and driving away.

[heavy_hitter]

I can tell some stories.  Parents are funny creatures.  Couple of weeks ago was at a tournament.  Kid wasn't playing well but is what it is.  Tough windy day and the scores were high. 

 

A grandmother was watching her grandson in our group.  This lady had been playing tournament golf since she was a youngster and a former Illinois State Am champ.  She was down the fairway and helping the group in front of us search for a ball.  She spots a ball OB and bends over to identify it.  I am walking that way but around a corner and out of my eyesight.  Dad in the group ahead starts yelling "Don't touch that ball.  You can't pick that up!"  Just paraphrasing but that was the gist of his rant.  I am thinking "What an #$%#@".  Get up there and asked her what happened and she told me.  

 

I am minding my own business.  Headphones in the ears and doing my own thing.  Two holes later walking literally 50 yards from a green behind a fairway bunker and cognizant of what is happening in the group ahead.   Kid in group ahead misses a 6 foot putt.   He is left handed and his back is too me.  He taps in and I start chatting with the kid in his group that I knew when I got up to the green.  Sat my chair down and minding my own business.  Dad of the kid walks up and says (paraphrasing)  "You really need to be more etiquette when spectating."  I never looked at him and said "Walk Away!"  He goes on about walking when his kid is putting and I turn to him again and sternly say "You need to Walk Away!"  Guy starts getting a little rude about it going on and I calmly said "Look $%^#@ you need to Walk Away.  You were already rude to grandma because your kid is playing poorly.  You aren't going to blame his misfortunes and take it out on me.  Walk the $%^# away."  Guy walks away mumbling something.

 

Had the incident with grandma had never happened would have probably reacted different.  

Edited March 17, 2022 by heavy_hitter

[darter79]

On 3/16/2022 at 9:18 AM, Ballcoach35 said:

I kinda was thinking this TNMT would be similar to Tee ball or smart start basketball. 
 

thank you all for the great advice. Hopefully he wants to go back.

have you been to a tee ball game lately? That might be the most competitive level of ball there is. Oh and some BATTTT S#$# crazy parents there are.  I coached and was on the board for my daughters softball league when she was 6. That's another topic completely. 

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

Like so many others said.  Just make it fun as possible.

 

Take him out for ice cream or whatever his thing might be afterwards.

 

Agree with @hangontightno matter how you feel at the start or "this is just fun fun fun"  you will get caught up.  He might miss a tap in two footer or something. 

 

It's ok.  Perfectly normal.  Just realize it happen.  No need for Junior to be on the putting green after the 6 holes working on 2 footers for 2 hours.

 

Other parents like @heavy_hittermentioned will eventually piss you off.  Between my son and daughter though we have met some awesome families.  We have met coughing, talking to loud, clueless cart parents as well.

 

If he wants to cartwheel down the 1st fairway.  GO for it!!  It's not against USGA rules. 🙂

[darter79]

23 hours ago, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

Like so many others said.  Just make it fun as possible.

 

Take him out for ice cream or whatever his thing might be afterwards.

 

Agree with @hangontightno matter how you feel at the start or "this is just fun fun fun"  you will get caught up.  He might miss a tap in two footer or something. 

 

It's ok.  Perfectly normal.  Just realize it happen.  No need for Junior to be on the putting green after the 6 holes working on 2 footers for 2 hours.

 

Other parents like @heavy_hittermentioned will eventually piss you off.  Between my son and daughter though we have met some awesome families.  We have met coughing, talking to loud, clueless cart parents as well.

 

If he wants to cartwheel down the 1st fairway.  GO for it!!  It's not against USGA rules. 🙂

Speaking of cartwheels when my daughter was 7 here good friend would ALWAYS do cartwheels down the fairway. Hit a shot do a cartwheel. Was just who she was. At one of the regionals a parent got mad about it brought it up to an rules official turned into this big deal. I suppose they got mad because she was winning. Crazy Word not allowed parents always trying to make up rules as they go. 

[Ballcoach35]

Wanted to provide an update. Our tournament was at Hawks Ridge in Georgia.  Walking through the parking lot, and it’s Aston Martin, followed by Bentley, Mercedes’, Porsche, Lotus, proche Mercades and a brand new Vette. Had no idea what I was walking into. 
 

we did a shotgun start on a at 3 course and we played with 3 other beginners. My son was the youngest of our group  and the other kids had better swings than his. I was nervous bc of this forum discussion going in and after my son wiffed 6 times straight with his iron after pulling the first drive 50 yards left. The next hole my son was on the Half that made it over a creek then hit a great chip. The other dads were super nice and their kids were cool too. Everybody got excited and rooted for each other. It was a really great experience and something that we want to do again. It was perfect to learn the rules, etiquette, and to have a great learning experience and great fun. My son is already saying he wants to go again. 
 

Also, we made sure to get Ice cream afterwards.

[darter79]

On 4/23/2022 at 5:41 PM, Ballcoach35 said:

Wanted to provide an update. Our tournament was at Hawks Ridge in Georgia.  Walking through the parking lot, and it’s Aston Martin, followed by Bentley, Mercedes’, Porsche, Lotus, proche Mercades and a brand new Vette. Had no idea what I was walking into. 
 

we did a shotgun start on a at 3 course and we played with 3 other beginners. My son was the youngest of our group  and the other kids had better swings than his. I was nervous bc of this forum discussion going in and after my son wiffed 6 times straight with his iron after pulling the first drive 50 yards left. The next hole my son was on the Half that made it over a creek then hit a great chip. The other dads were super nice and their kids were cool too. Everybody got excited and rooted for each other. It was a really great experience and something that we want to do again. It was perfect to learn the rules, etiquette, and to have a great learning experience and great fun. My son is already saying he wants to go again. 
 

Also, we made sure to get Ice cream afterwards.

its always about the ice cream after. Even dads look forward to that. 

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

One day when he is 16 and you go for Ice cream after a round.  He will walk you through every shot and what he was trying to do.

 

Awesome update and so glad he had fun.

[leezer99]

51 minutes ago, darter79 said:

its always about the ice cream after. Even dads look forward to that. 

I’m lactose intolerant so frozen yogurt for me please. 

[darter79]

26 minutes ago, leezer99 said:

I’m lactose intolerant so frozen yogurt for me please. 

 of course you are. You Cali people. 

[leezer99]

20 minutes ago, darter79 said:

 of course you are. You Cali people. 

Drank the river water at sixth grade camp and got giardia (aka beaver fever 😂). 

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

2 hours ago, darter79 said:

 of course you are. You Cali people. 

He doesnt identify as a person. 😉

[leezer99]

1 hour ago, TripleBogeysrbetter said:

He doesnt identify as a person. 😉

My job has me identifying as a woodpecker right now. Banging my head against a tree for hours a day.