Having first kid. How to keep my golf game going?

GoTime · November 28, 2023

16 hours ago, st1800e said:

I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way. Not intending to be a smart Word not allowed.

Have you thought about “why” you need to keep your golf game going?

Different for everyone of course, but for me golf is my outlet to relieve stress and decompress. That isn't to say there aren't other avenues to that same effect that might take less time, but golf really helps me re-center me and be the best, least-stressed version of myself I can be both at home and at work. It's also one of the remaining slivers of pre-child "me", which is something that can slip away when starting a family. I think in moderation it's important to try and keep in touch with that "you" throughout the chaos that is starting and raising a family. Pretty common thought is that mothers have a much more difficult time staying in touch with that side of themselves, which is why it's equally if not more important to enable your spouse to have their away time, too.

BHI 99 · November 28, 2023

I can’t be the only one biting my tongue right now.

Chubbs91 · November 29, 2023

Again I could care less what happens to my game. I’m just curious of what it’s been like for other people. Golf is my time to relax and decompress.

97nismo · November 29, 2023

Napping will be your time to decompress

many days I was exhausted and didn’t feel like playing golf lol

still is the case and little one is 11 months old

BHI 99 · November 29, 2023

14 minutes ago, 97nismo said:

Napping will be your time to decompress

many days I was exhausted and didn’t feel like playing golf lol

still is the case and little one is 11 months old

Those were such good days, kid falls asleep on your chest and you don’t even want to move.
Damn man. 🥲

They grow quick. I didn’t touch golf for almost 10 years and never missed it one bit. Four girls, 1 plays, 2 interested and 1 warming up to the idea.

And when they bring home boyfriends that play it’s a plus!

jda · November 29, 2023

Relax and decompress? What is that? Seriously, you are going to have times when this is not possible, so learn how to do without.. give those times to Mom if you can, gut through it for you and it will pay off. You are in charge of your feelings and emotions and you don't really NEED this even if you think that you do. Plus, it can really make you cherish some actual relaxation and decompression when you do get some. The time will come back, but like others have said, you will miss other stuff when it does.

naval2006 · January 11

One of the most challenging balancing acts in amateur golf lol.

You'll naturally cut down on your golf for obvious reasons. Full rounds are the hardest, but you can go hit some balls whenever have a little free time, or play a quick nine. The important thing is to keep in touch with golf somehow or other, because this is YOUR game. As time goes by, you'll resume your golf routine and you'll even have a chance of coming to the course with a little #1 fan following you.

Warrior42111 · January 11

So as my daughter turns 2 in a month I have been able to look back and see what worked or didn't etc. Of course every family dynamic is different.

General thoughts

1a) Have communication with the wife, gf, partner etc. Golf is a part of your life and I'm sure they have a hobby, activity, social thing that's part of theirs. Understand that and work to allow time for that.

1b) Make sure you leave /plan time with the wife, gf, partner etc. for dates nights. I've seen too many families fall into the trap of being a full time parent 110% of the time, and the relationship isn't as good or worse.

2) Tying in to 1b but if possible have a village in place. That saying about a village is so very true. Having a kid can burn you out at times. We love having an aunt 10 minutes away. She can spend a night there or even just maybe a couple hours so me and the wife can have a quiet dinner at the house. Those couple hours can easily recharge you for the next adventure with the kid.

More golf specific

1. Decide what golf to prioritize and what is a bonus. Pre kid I'd play 18 twice a week, maybe 3 times and a 9 hole work league. Then me and the wife would go out on dates those nights as well. Now I play 18 once a week and the work league.

2. You need to be flexible, things happen, spouse sick, kid sick, school activities etc. One week you might not touch a club the next you might get to play 3 times. Have an it is what is mentality. This is big in parenting to, of course you want structure and plans; but you can't exactly rely on a baby, toddler. If things off, go with it rather than stress.

3. Intentions to practice around the house tend to fail (at least with me). I knew I'd be hitting less balls a week so I got a mat and net and Garmin R10 thinking I can go out every day or 2 to stay sharp. I'd probably get a decent range session on it once every other week. I do hope as she ages me and my daughter can start playing on it together, but that's up to her.

Hawkeye77 · January 16

When I had two girls in Little League 4 nights a week and one of them also in a few Saturday or Saturday/Sunday traveling softball things I'd tell my league partner in late April I'd see him shortly after the 4th of July, lol, no big deal, still played a bit. When my oldest got serious about golf I'd meet her after practice at the course every day she didn't have a meet when she was in HS and we'd play until dark - so sometimes it comes around, lol.

Newborn? The winter before she was born (I think shortly before conception, lol) my wife and I got in on a "junior" deal at a county club just out of town that was relatively new and growing where we lived back then. We played all summer in a couples league (and walked) - best golf of her life, haha. Next summer we played league as well and fretted over leaving our baby with a sitter every Friday evening, but I didn't even play once a week beyond that, would get some time on the range maybe a quick 9 every other week if I was lucky but had some valuable golf lessons at the time and got some Eye2s! Work/family took almost all my time.

Incidentally, my biggest improvement in golf came later in life so to speak, but I've always loved the game, just have to have life in perspective.

Plenty of time for golf when the kids got older, even more when the nest became empty - would gladly trade all that to play very little golf and have the little ones back!!!!

kiwigolf72 · January 16

On 11/21/2023 at 4:26 AM, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week.

congratulations. Good luck, I partially gave up the game for close to 10 years while we raised children. My only saving grace was hitting balls at the range and chipping and putting.

Boy was I fizzing when I got to play golf again.

Edited January 16 by kiwigolf72

akronswitness · January 16

On 11/20/2023 at 10:26 AM, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week.

**Only 1-2 times per week 🤣

Brother since Ive had my child, Im lucky to get to golf 1-2x per month haha For me, the times you do get to go out of the house for 4-5 hrs are valuable. Play golf. It sucks but Ive completely eliminated going to the rage anymore. It just not in the cards with the limited time you do have to be by yourself. Gotta learn to fix things on the fly at the course which has led me to playing 2 balls when Im lucky enough not to get paired up with anybody else. There is also the financial component. Kids are expensive so convincing your significant other to let you go blow hundreds of dollars a month golfing is a tough task.

Also, at home training aids become more important if your serious about your golf game and not just a casual player. Since you wont have the alloted time to be at the range/practice greens a ton--having training tools at the house (even setup a hitting net in your garage) is probably your best bet to be able to work on your game without ruffling too many feathers.

I understand everyones situation is different so if you have time still during the day with your schedule and finances dont matter, keep going every chance you can. Just enjoy it because your alone time has become much more valuable lol