Having first kid. How to keep my golf game going?

[Chubbs91]

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week. 

 

 

[klebs01]

7 minutes ago, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week. 

 

 

Agree on expectations, reciprocate on care so mother can have personal time, involve them. It helps to get a cart later in the day and have the family ride and play along so the golf time is also family time. 

[Ajota]

55 minutes ago, klebs01 said:

Agree on expectations, reciprocate on care so mother can have personal time, involve them. It helps to get a cart later in the day and have the family ride and play along so the golf time is also family time. 

 

This or play super early(if possible) and be home sooner than later for the rest of the day.

 

I have two kids but I only ever been weekend warrior. 

[jvincent]

2 hours ago, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week. 

 

Without knowing your and wife's work and child care situations after the baby arrives, it really comes down to having a discussion with your wife about joint "sanity time". There's nothing wrong, and I'd argue it's a good thing, for both of you to have personal time away from the kids / each other.

 

When mine were little I had a guaranteed time for golf every Saturday morning. Rain or shine. I played a fair amount in the rain.

[Chubbs91]

6 minutes ago, jvincent said:

 

Without knowing your and wife's work and child care situations after the baby arrives, it really comes down to having a discussion with your wife about joint "sanity time". There's nothing wrong, and I'd argue it's a good thing, for both of you to have personal time away from the kids / each other.

 

When mine were little I had a guaranteed time for golf every Saturday morning. Rain or shine. I played a fair amount in the rain.

We’re both teachers. So I figured once a week in my muni money game. 

[Pepperturbo]

2 hours ago, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week. 

 

 

I am sure you'll get all sorts of opinions.  Time mgt and assessing your priorities, golf should be further down that list.  

[MountainKing]

Have one on the way myself in January - generally get in 70-80 rounds in Chicago, haven't even thought once or worried about golf next year.  It'll happen as it happens and I could care less what my handicap ends up being.

[Chubbs91]

Oh I don’t care what happens to my handicap. I just want to hear about other guys what happens to their game.

[Albatross Dreamer]

Enjoy the 1-2 times you do play. If worried about game falling off spend small amounts of time each day doing little drills at home, hitting foam balls, balls into a net, whatever. 

[Boricua Golf]

Like stated above, this is your first baby, trust me golf will not be important at all!!!, it's like having a new toy, it's the blessing of all blessings!!!, priorities will change whether you plan for them or not, the baby will take priority and allowing mom to have personal time will be the upmost one, golf is not going anywhere, your handicap might, but seriously, who cares!!!!, enjoy your baby and, in time, you'll figure out time for the game, you shouldn't stress that at all, there's always the range to beat up balls for an hour or so, congratulations and hope that mom and baby are healthy, take care and God bless.

[97nismo]

First time father here in December of last year and played 3-4 times a week and every weekend.

 

i tried to get out every chance I got first 2 months and then it hit me one day….why am I here??? 
 

11 months later I would rather see the little one develop. I didn’t want to miss her walking, talking and just being a dad is way better than hanging out with old people for 6 hours bitching about their wives.

 

i can play 4-5 times a week now and simply rather play if the family is out of town. 
 

still love the game and find myself going to the range to hone my skills cause it isn’t slammed with people.

 

by the time you drive to the course and wait and drive home an entire day is shot…may not seem like it now but golf will not be a priority 

 

well my game was around 5-6 handicap then acl surgery then new baby

 

game is absolutely trash, sometimes it’s embarrassing but of the rounds played this year I have still shot an 84 on 18 a few times and 40 on 9 so it hasnt went all to hell…lol 

Edited November 20, 2023 by 97nismo

[Chubbs91]

41 minutes ago, Boricua Golf said:

Like stated above, this is your first baby, trust me golf will not be important at all!!!, it's like having a new toy, it's the blessing of all blessings!!!, priorities will change whether you plan for them or not, the baby will take priority and allowing mom to have personal time will be the upmost one, golf is not going anywhere, your handicap might, but seriously, who cares!!!!, enjoy your baby and, in time, you'll figure out time for the game, you shouldn't stress that at all, there's always the range to beat up balls for an hour or so, congratulations and hope that mom and baby are healthy, take care and God bless.

Thanks for the blessing and advice.

 

[zdtallan]

I have two little ones now but nothing has really changed between having one or two, except my bank account of course. My experience is a bit different because I WFH, live very close to my course, and that course doesn't have tee times so I can go play 3-4 holes during my lunch break but full rounds are way down year over year. That being said, my handicap has done nothing but go down since having my kids.  As a very competitive guy, it took a bit of an adjustment, but when I was just happy to be outside for a few hours with my buddies instead of worrying about swing mechanics and scoring, I got better.

 

As stated above, you probably won't think about golf much at first, you'll be thinking about being able to take a nap. Golf is a very important to me, and it is a priority, but not even close to a top priority.  Communicate with your wife early and often about when you would like to play and allow her to do the same with her hobbies or activities.  

 

It might piss some people off but keep your phone on ring while you're playing, emergencies happen all the time.  Enjoy the time you have to play, but don't push it too much, no shame in just going straight to the car after a round instead of sitting on the patio having drinks with the guys. 

[bcjim]

Novelty will wear off fast and no matter what you'll be getting many, many hours of being on-duty-Dad.  While your golf hours may likely be curtailed a bit.  And they may require more planning than before,  there is no reason to quit golf.   Especially for just one kid.

Once you get multiple kids over the age of 5 or 6, then you might need to consider a pause in your golf career. That's when the time crunch begins. Infants and toddlers don't have soccer games or lacrosse practice or dance class..

[j.b.newton]

Take advantage of an hour here or there at the range and make it a competitive session....  then go home and be a dad AND husband.

[FirstFlight]

You should look forward to becoming a low cap or scratch diaper changer!

Scrambling in this game is for the occasional diaper blow out!!!

LOL

Edited November 20, 2023 by FirstFlight

[Chubbs91]

36 minutes ago, FirstFlight said:

You should look forward to becoming a low cap or scratch diaper changer!

Scrambling in this game is for the occasional diaper blow out!!!

LOL

Haha I can’t wait for those!

[StockingStocker]

I just had my first in September. Slowed down some, but honestly waking up early (4:30-5:00) to feed her has helped me get to work earlier, get off earlier, and hit the links sometimes before dark. 
 

Although I suppose with the set schedule of a teacher that doesn’t help much

[glm]

things are going to change big time!!!!

 

[PuffyC]

1-2 times a week? Start getting your mind around 1-2 times a month. If it was your 3rd kid then maybe, but your first? If you pull that off you’ll be in exceptionally rare company, many of which are surely divorced by that kid’s elementary school graduation, which is absolutely a major life event these days for some reason. And yes your game will suffer but it won’t be like you forget how to swing a club. It’ll mostly be short game stuff that requires touch which you can try to compensate for by subbing a practice session for a round. It’s a lot easier getting away for an hour to work on chipping and putting than it is for a 5 hour round.

[Chubbs91]

13 minutes ago, PuffyC said:

1-2 times a week? Start getting your mind around 1-2 times a month. If it was your 3rd kid then maybe, but your first? If you pull that off you’ll be in exceptionally rare company, many of which are surely divorced by that kid’s elementary school graduation, which is absolutely a major life event these days for some reason. And yes your game will suffer but it won’t be like you forget how to swing a club. It’ll mostly be short game stuff that requires touch which you can try to compensate for by subbing a practice session for a round. It’s a lot easier getting away for an hour to work on chipping and putting than it is for a 5 hour round.

That’s what I figured it would be like. Got myself a solid putting mat. 

[Dharsini]

If you can get out on the course 2 times a week, kudos to you. Best bet would be some kind of simulator like a meevo plus or just a driving range pass for the year. Just don’t overdo the golf cuz your wife cant do anything that allows her to be gone hours at a time. You’ll figure it out, best bet would be just stick to driving range and putting green to keep your game sharp. 

[js707]

If you can build a basic simulator/practice area in your garage or spare room, you’ll be able to get practice in much easier than trying to get out to the course. 

[GoTime]

2020: 50 rounds posted

2021: 49 rounds posted (1st child born mid-summer)

2022: 66 rounds posted

2023: 69 rounds posted so far

 

If you do it right you should get to play plenty. Some key factors for me-

• Have an awesome partner, and I mean partner, who understands how golf is an important part of your well being.
• During your baby leave, play during the week. You'll be able to player faster.
• When daylight allows, play as many holes as you can shortly before or right after the kid's bedtime.
• Once naps consolidate, get tee times to coincide with the longer of the 2 naps, minimize time she's alone with the kid
• Carve out equal time for and encourage her to get out and away. When I get home from golf, my wife is wheels up for as long as she wants
• Dont wait for or expect her to tell you what to do, or ask her how you can help. Do as much as you can fathom to make her life as easy as possible everyday.
• Don't skip out to play when she's in rough shape, be extra in tune with her mental and emotional well being, be prepared to cancel your games on very short notice. It's going to be an emotional and hormonal roller-coaster and that's normal.
• Above all else, if you aren't working or golfing, 98% of your time/attention/energy should be on making her life easier or otherwise doing exactly what she wants you and/or the family doing.
• It goes by fast and you won't really understand that until you do.

Congrats, it really is the greatest gift in life.

[HoosierHacker89]

I wouldn't care about golf. I love to play, but being a new dad is awesome. Golf is just a silly game at the end of the day. Focus on your wife. Focus on your family. Sleep when you can. 

[PNWSlinger]

7 hours ago, 97nismo said:

First time father here in December of last year and played 3-4 times a week and every weekend.

 

i tried to get out every chance I got first 2 months and then it hit me one day….why am I here??? 
 

 

So funny, I literally ask myself this every time I play.
 

(Two kiddos 1.5yr apart…yeeouch)

 

Slowed down quite a bit and could care less how often my buddies with older or no kids play. Much more important stuff going on. 

[david.c.w]

I will agree with @PuffyC and say that you will be lucky to get 20 rounds in next year.  You have no idea how much time and effort having a kid takes.  And once they are in youth activities, you don't play again until the first gets their driver's license.  I don't want to discourage you, but you will have 100 priorities before golf.   

 

Set expectations with your wife and yourself.  Everyone needs sanity time, be it hiking or shopping or golf or sitting at the beach, but don't expect 10 hours a week of santity time at the golf course, expect 4 hours a month.  And if you do play twice a week, everyone will be saying "didn't that guy just have a kid?"

[Brooks_Cupcake]

13 hours ago, Chubbs91 said:

Looking for peoples insight. Right now as a school teacher I play like 4-5 rounds a week. Having my first kid here this spring. Wondering if anyone has some advice on how to keep the grind going with only being able to get to the course maybe 1 or 2 times a week. 

 

 

Find anywhere you can get reps in between 5-8am or if your wife handles the 7-9am duties play 9 before your day. 
 

Made it through 2 under 21 months apart no issues 

[NV825]

Be as flexible as possible with your rounds, and maybe more 9-hole rounds instead of 18. Be understanding that some weeks you just may not get out to play. 

Time truly does fly by fast so try to enjoy as much as you can with them as they grow up. I’ve got a 10 year old and 5 year old and it’s crazy how fast it’s gone by when I look at pictures from when they were infants. Don’t take that any of that time for granted, including changing diapers and giving baths. 

[rbpwrx]

My boy is 29 now. As a little kid, he came running with me in his stroller, both on and off the course. Winter golf was fun for him. Of course only 20 minutes here and there. When he got older, he played with me and my bud. Sometimes 14 hours a day, when he was a tween. In fact, he was in a gambling stage for a while, and bet both of us we couldn't birdie #8 at our local course, an uphill 440 yd par 4. In the dark, in the rain. I holed wedge from 70 yards for a 3. He never paid up, the monkey. That kid could hit a water tower from 250 yards with a 3W. On the fly. Serious hands. More of a surfer than a golfer now. Guitar builder, blacksmith. But we're building a house together in the spring. Share your passions with your kids. You never know where they'll lead. Tuck the me-time around the edges. You really only get 12 years to raise them. Then they're off with their friends. It will fly by. You'll miss the kid more than the golf. But you can do both if you're creative. Enjoy the hell out of it. And congrats!

 

Edited November 21, 2023 by rbpwrx