ONESOMES....find your own friends !!!

[jwknow]

[quote name='bigred90gt' post='1986487' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:31 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986464' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:11 PM']Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!![/quote]

So, what you are saying is that you are so much better than those pathetic "onesomes", that they have to be invited to be in your company? Got it.
[/quote]

WOW....nice twist... What are you.....6 ??

[mickw]

[quote name='jwknow' post='1986490' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:34 AM'][quote name='mickw' post='1986481' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:27 AM']What's so diffficult about saying "No thank you, we would rather remain a threesome. But you can play through, if you'd like to." I fail to see how the action of the single asking to join you...would get you up in arms enough to write this post.[/quote]

Whats so difficult about not "Inviting Yourself" and just waiting to see if your "invited" to play along or offered to play through? Is that really that unreasonable?

Up in arms????.....might be a little extreme. Was just asking a question and been sitting back watching it get twisted in several different ways. Interesting....
[/quote]


Sounds like miscommunication to me...but if a single asks to join your group (which they have every right to do in order to maintain a pace of play), I wouldn't take it in the context that they "have the nerve ask". Politely say "no...play through". I agree, "up in arms" might be a little extreme, I apologize. But in all fairness, if you read your original post, there seems to be a bit more contempt in the manner you are asking your question then you seem to realize.

[Dr.John]

[quote name='jwknow' post='1986504' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:43 AM'][quote name='bigred90gt' post='1986487' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:31 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986464' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:11 PM']Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!![/quote]

So, what you are saying is that you are so much better than those pathetic "onesomes", that they have to be invited to be in your company? Got it.
[/quote]

WOW....nice twist... What are you.....6 ??
[/quote]


wow, that was weak!!

[kyo-nax]

[quote name='Desert Golf' post='1986503' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:43 AM']I play as a single occasionally...usually on Fridays when I have the day off and my golfing friends are at work. It doesn't really matter to me if I get paired up with others or remain a single. If I'm paired up with others I almost always have a good time and meet a lot of interesting people. Every once in a while you get paired up with jerks and those days I wish I had played alone.

However, I don't ever ask if I can join a group. If the group asks me to join them I almost always will or if the starter pairs me up that is fine too. If I'm playing with my friends and we are a 3some we would welcome a 4th player. BUT, it is usually the case that the group or the starter initiates the pairing...not the single. Is there anything wrong with a single asking to join? I guess not...but it isn't something I do and I can't remember a time when a single has asked to join my 3some. Maybe JW didn't come across well but I don't think his question is out of line.[/quote]

Come to think of it, I guess I never asked to join. someone usually offer or make me join. But I've been asked when two or threesome, it never bothered me.

JW, how many times you get asked and how many times do you accept?
Are you asking if it's OK to say no and just don't want uncomfortable situation? It just doesn't seem like you are just looking for opinion here.

[madjsp]

This thread is fun. Just remember, nobody is as smart as jwknow because we couldn't comprehend his original post the way he wanted us to.

And by the way, I was at a tee box when a guy and his wife, both probably in their 50s were on the tee box. They didn't ask for me to play through (i was by myself) and I didn't get an invite. Instead I had to sit and watch them hit 90 yard drives and sprays to the right for about 3 hours until we made the turn and I was able to sneak past them when they went inside. I play a round by myself in less than 3 hours. This is why people ask to join when not invited, so they aren't stuck behind people when they could easily; A) play with some other guys, or B) play a much faster round in front of people who are hostile.

[bigred90gt]

[quote name='jwknow' post='1986504' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:43 PM'][quote name='bigred90gt' post='1986487' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:31 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986464' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:11 PM']Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!![/quote]

So, what you are saying is that you are so much better than those pathetic "onesomes", that they have to be invited to be in your company? Got it.
[/quote]

WOW....nice twist... What are you.....6 ??
[/quote]

Close, but not quite. Only off by a little over a few decades. It's not a twist, you stated that if someone is not invited into your company, that they should just remain alone. What exactly did I twist?

Just out of curiosity, how old are you? If you are in high school still, I might expect this attitude, though I would certainly hope you were raised better than that. I do vaguely remember people in high school being the "cliquey" type, and if they didnt know you, and you were not in their group of friends, they wanted nothing to do with you. I would like to think that most people grow out of that at some stage in life. If you are anything older than 16, and I almost feel sorry for you.

[bpark1210]

My 2 cents, If you haven't paid for the 4th open spot on the tee sheet the single has every right to invite them self to join your group. Why slow down play for everyone else because you don't feel like being paired up. A single is just going to be hitting into you every hole and waiting for all three of you to hit your next shot. Speed up play for the rest the course and just join up.

[jwknow]

[quote name='Desert Golf' post='1986503' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:43 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986464' date='Oct 3 2009, 09:11 PM'][quote name='ionakana511' post='1986397' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:21 PM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986288' date='Oct 3 2009, 10:21 PM']Alright....this is starting to bug me because its starting to happen too often. What are your opinions on this?

I play a threesome frequently. Its me and two close friends. We've been playin together for years and we're not looking for a 4th.

Too often, there seems to be a ONESOME that comes up on the first tee or somewhere on the course that has the nuts to say "Hey, mind if I play with you guys"? Me and my buddies are pretty friendly guys but if we wanted to play a foursome we'd have called another friend.

I just can't see me havin the nuts to walk up to 3 strangers and asking if they care if I "horn" in on their game.

Whats with the "onesomes"? What gives them the gall to even ask?

Me and my buddies figure if a single can't find anybody to golf with....especially on the weekend.... there's probably a reason.

Anybody have any opinions on this or should we be forced to play with a stranger even though we didn't "invite" him to be a part of our group?

Keep in mind....this isn't someone from the clubhouse sending these ONESOMES out to pair up with us....its the ONESOMES themselves.

JW[/quote]


You say you're not trying to be derogatory but look at you're title: "ONESOMES...find your own friends!!!"
I'd say that is derogatory implying or insinuating that singles cant find friends or dont have any friends. I play alone alot during the weekdays but on the weekends...i usually play with family/friends. Golf is a great way to network or make friends and I have made good friends with random people or people who work on the course or golf stores. Golf is more than a game...it's about building friendships and meeting new people good or bad. If you dont want a single to join your group, then do what the other people here suggested by either paying for the 4th spot, politely saying that you'd rather play as a 3-some, or invite them to play. It's that simple. You say that everyone here is missing the point yet you have not stated your central theme to this post. Please do and enlighten us with you're true meaning to this post as all of us are baffled by what you reall "mean".

Also you say that you wouldnt have the nuts to ask to join a threesome...well therein lies the problem. It seems to me a lack of self confidence or introvert tendencies. Maybe you should "grow a pair" by decling the single or going out by yourself and put yourself in their shoes and see how it must be hard to ask to join a group that you dont even know.

Just callin it how I see it...not trying to be disrespectful.
[/quote]

Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!!
[/quote]


I play as a single occasionally...usually on Fridays when I have the day off and my golfing friends are at work. It doesn't really matter to me if I get paired up with others or remain a single. If I'm paired up with others I almost always have a good time and meet a lot of interesting people. Every once in a while you get paired up with jerks and those days I wish I had played alone.

However, I don't ever ask if I can join a group. If the group asks me to join them I almost always will or if the starter pairs me up that is fine too. If I'm playing with my friends and we are a 3some we would welcome a 4th player. BUT, it is usually the case that the group or the starter initiates the pairing...not the single. Is there anything wrong with a single asking to join? I guess not...but it isn't something I do and I can't remember a time when a single has asked to join my 3some. Maybe JW didn't come across well but I don't think his question is out of line.
[/quote]

Actually, over the years. there have been times when we've invited a Onesome to join our Threesome if they catch up to us on the course or we meet on the first teebox. Depends on the situation.

When we're playin SKINS for MONEY, which we do frequently, we really don't want to play with anybody else. It's just not the same playing with someone you don't know when there's money on the line. Adds a different element to the game.

My reason for posting this was that in the 30 years that I've golfed, I could count on one hand the times someone has asked to play with us, up until this year. They generally wait for an invitation or an offer to play through. I think that USED to be golf course etiquette.

This summer we seem to have a Onesome behind us quite a bit. Several have come driving up in their cart, some on the first tee some out on the course, and say "Hey, can I play along with you guys"? As I said in my original post.....this isn't the clubhouse telling them to pair up with us. I guess I was just wondering where the old etiquette went.

Maybe I should have been a little "more delicate" with my original post. It was more "tongue in cheek" than anything but I see it doesn't take much to get peoples panties all in a bunch. Oh Well....interesting bunch to say the least.

[koiuh11]

i play with buddies a lot and i play by myself alot, because sometimes people just cant make it out. Everyone ive ever played with has been very welcoming and polite. I return the favor. It's a sport about cheering on your competitor unlike many of the other sports we play. it's truly a gentlemen's game, so sorry but i completely disagree with you.

if you really hate it, then politely ask that person not to join. I don't think they would have a problem with that. On the other hand, it may not be your decision and the course just fits in singles wherever they can.

[Ryan_Less]

i think part of the beauty with golf is meeting new people

[jwknow]

[quote name='bigred90gt' post='1986520' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:54 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986504' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:43 PM'][quote name='bigred90gt' post='1986487' date='Oct 4 2009, 12:31 AM'][quote name='jwknow' post='1986464' date='Oct 3 2009, 11:11 PM']Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!![/quote]

So, what you are saying is that you are so much better than those pathetic "onesomes", that they have to be invited to be in your company? Got it.
[/quote]

WOW....nice twist... What are you.....6 ??
[/quote]

Close, but not quite. Only off by a little over a few decades. It's not a twist, you stated that if someone is not invited into your company, that they should just remain alone. What exactly did I twist?

Just out of curiosity, how old are you? If you are in high school still, I might expect this attitude, though I would certainly hope you were raised better than that. I do vaguely remember people in high school being the "cliquey" type, and if they didnt know you, and you were not in their group of friends, they wanted nothing to do with you. I would like to think that most people grow out of that at some stage in life. If you are anything older than 16, and I almost feel sorry for you.
[/quote]

Nice try....but the YOUNG angle won't work on anybody....is that all you got???

As far as the twist....and I'm sure you will keep twisting this post too....you said, and I quote......"you are saying is that you are so much better than those pathetic "onesomes"......." Show me the QUOTE where I said that.........you can't so I'm sure your next line will be.... "yea, but that's what you meant".....right???.....twist away dude.....twist away. You're an amateur. Go play in the street.

[plumb doctor]

Every time a SINGLE has askwd my group to join w/ money on the line, we tell them that and almost every time the SINGLE offers to buy in!. Some times we take the SINGLES money and sometimes he takes ours. Everytime it ends w/ all of us having a good time, But then again, my freinds and myself aren't a$$holes!

[koiuh11]

this is turning ugly ahhahaah...makes me wanna go play in a ONESOME......

to all the ONESOMES, you are welcome over here in CA, season is year round.

[T Shaf]

I am often what you call a "onesome" - and yes it is because I am pretty much an a**hole and nobody likes me. Seriously though, I can hardly remember a time when I actually asked to join a group - most times I ask to be paired with a group on the phone or in the shop - this is because I usually prefer to play with someone, it is fun to meet new people, usually. If it seems a bit odd on the tee I will ask if it is alright that I join them - today is the first time in a while where it was evident they did not want someone with them (husband and his wife), no problem, the course was wide open and I proceeded to finish in 2hrs and 45 min.

Your original post did not exactly elicit the responses you hoped for - you must admit that it presented those who arrive at a course alone as people who have no friends...If you have played golf for 30yrs plus you must have gone to a course alone at least once, correct?

Regardless - if you prefer they not play with you - simply say so - but consider the course and what is happening ahead and behind - though it is interesting that your group routinely has "singles" behind you.

Consider this - if you post it, responses will come...like them or not!

[JAY-Y]

lol... the funniest part is when he kept saying u're missing my point... i read the op over again and thought there might be something else that i was missing especially after a nth time he said it. wow was i fooled.

yeah man... what everyone else is saying... quit your whining and grow up. just politely decline... i bet they wouldn't wanna play with you anyways after getting to know you.

[prestiege]

im just starting out and im shooting in the 110-120's. i would never ask a group if i could join them as i feel as i would hold them back. its great to meet new people, new golfers and all but im embarassed since i suck right now and would not imagine asking if i can join the guys ahead of me. if the clubhouse paired me someone then i will try and make the best out of it. but technically, shouldn't you be the one asking if the single wants to play through since you want to keep your threesome ? this is the great thing about golf that i found is that after work, you can go straight to the course and get a round in before dinner, weather you get paired with someone or the course is empty and you go out on your own. i do have my good days and if i showed up on that day, you wouldnt know that im just starting out. i think i get your point that the clubhouse didnt appoint this single to your group and that the single cought up to your group and asked if he could join, if he caught up to you, maybe he aint that bad, but if you dont want him to join maybe you should let him play through.

[CROUSE99]

He may have missed the point, but I think he nailed your essence.

[S70B]

[quote name='Ryan_Less' post='1986548' date='Oct 4 2009, 01:18 AM']i think part of the beauty with golf is meeting new people[/quote]


Yep. That seems to be lost nowadays. Helps in your communication skills too.

I have met some good and even great golfing buddies when I was in a threesome and also as a ONESOME myself. More often than not, some of these people have actually pleasantly surprised me with their level of play and skill.

[rascre]

Most entertaining thread I have read in a while. Simple Solution: Say, "No. But please play on through." It seems that this would be an agreeable solution to everyone. Plus, it beats the two alternatives of you having to play angry and frustrated because you are stuck with a friendless "onesome" or you having to dodge all of the balls that the friendless and now angry "onesome" is hitting into you.

Now for my gripe. I can't stand people who are playing money games with their friends and insist on spending 20 minutes on each green analyzing each 'big' putt. I guess we all have to be angry about something.

[coldsoul]

Sorry that I hone in on your great threesome with my lack of game. Why don't you and your friends have a fourth on the weekend? (same point as a single playing alone)

Like has been suggested above, if you and your friends are too cool to play with other people offer letting the single to play through which is what they probably what they really want to do.

[CMAN300]

The only thing I don't understand is how asking if they can play along is considered inviting themselves into your group. I play as a single every now and then and when I ask if I can play along I don't feel like I am inviting myself into their group. To me, inviting yourself in to a group would be saying something like " hey I am going to play with you", not asking, but rather telling and if that''s the case then I could maybe understand where you are kind of coming from.

[Trendsetter916]

I enjoy playing with everybody I kinda space out anyways even when i'm with my friends golfing so I never get bugged by people I play with. I think I have met a lot of friends playing golf and even on here blogging about golf. I do have those times when I just want to have a casual round with my friends and I will make sure there is 4 of us so we can all do our thing like trash talk, drink, smoke , and things of that nature without having to worry about offending anybody. I would say if you hate having a single join with you make your group a 4 some.

[grabthepin]

Seems pretty simple to me. If they ask to join you and you don't want them to, just tell them.

[Brad6260]

I play three to four days a week as a member at a semi-private club. Generally about half as a single and half with my regular group. I'm trying to see both sides of your issue here but frankly lean toward the majority that find you being harsh and classless in your judgement.

[b]FYI- I almost always try to get on as a single on Sundays so I can get in a round to be home or at Paul Brown Stadium before the Bengals kick off. Depending on where you are in Ohio that may buy me some understanding or piss you off even more if we make ugly of the Browns today. Who Dey !
[/b]
The point I wanted to make is that when I do play as a single and put with a group it's always by request of the clubhouse staff. I always pull one of the group aside and sincerely make sure they don't mind and unless it's mandated by the Ranger because of heavy traffic I always take my own cart so not to plop down all afternoon with some guy who just wanted to hang with his buddies.
It also takes less than one hole of play to feel if the group want's their privacy or has a more is merrier attitude and I adjust my connection to them accordingly.

What bothers me with your post is that it should be pretty obvious by the responses here and by those we have personally gotten hooked up with is that 99.9% of the people that come along as singles are good folks that are a pleasure to spend a few hours with and not some kind of "looser" you seem to condemn. This includes Fuzzy Zoeller and Kenny Perry who both have asked to play as thirds and fourths with my groups in years past.

My bottom line is this: Either find yourself a steady fourth or Join a private club where you pre-mandate that you require exclusivity.

I have played a lot of golf for a long time and can count on one hand the number of people that I would not want to see again. Your comments seem to suggest the opposite experience and makes me question who is the problem . Them or you?

[bendy]

This is one funny post to read!

[Hateto3Putt]

Wow. Interesting read.

Like most of the folks here, I've played as part of a foursome, threesome, twosome and a [s]single[/s] onesome. I've been hooked up with the opposite numbers as well. For the record, I have oodles of friends.

For the most part, players welcome other players. If I'm part of the group being joined, I'm usually the guy who asks the [s]single[/s] onesome if they want to hook up. If I'm the [s]single[/s] onesome, again, I'll initiate the "hook up" idea. I don't mind playing with "strangers" at all.

I've found that 99% of the golfing world enjoy meeting and playing with new folks. The other 1% who don't like or want to be hooked up with a [s]single[/s] onesome are usually hacks.

So in summation: [s]Singles[/s] Onesomes rock. Threesomes who think [s]singles[/s] onesomes who want to join them have "gall" are hacks.

[tinman]

[quote name='QWKDTSN' post='1986322' date='Oct 3 2009, 10:36 PM']Yeah, we're reading it... it's just that you're mistaken in thinking we're actually going to agree with you... [/quote]


ABSOLUTELY +1

[The_Lama]

[quote name='plumb doctor' post='1986562' date='Oct 4 2009, 01:47 AM']Every time a SINGLE has askwd my group to join w/ money on the line, we tell them that and almost every time the SINGLE offers to buy in!. Some times we take the SINGLES money and sometimes he takes ours. Everytime it ends w/ all of us having a good time, But then again, [b][u]my freinds and myself aren't a$$holes!*[/u][/b][/quote]

*Operative phrase!

Justice will be served when the OP and [u][b]his two friends[/b][/u] have to find an ATM for their after round beers.

[TN22]

Just to let you know OP, when a single is "inviting" themself, they would just walk on the teebox with your group and tee off with you guys, no words said. When someone "asks" to join your group, it's an open ended question where you can say yes or no.

Either way, your first post and title said it all. Just because the majority here disagrees with you, it isn't a "gang." Plus, you asked for opinions in your first line. If you don't like it, suck it up. You have a reasonably mannered post but in your closing 1 or 2 sentences, you act like you're 5.

[eddiea54]

Can't we all just get along?