Are We Becoming A Bit Too Judgmental?

[Asiz]

I don't judge people at all ....


.....except for their looks, clothes, style, attitude, car, job, where they live, people they hang out with, music they listen to, words they say, etc.

I'm going to give my opinion which may or may not be relevant to forums.

Being judgemental is an important aspect of life and staying alive. Many people with a "moral superiority" would never confess to being that way, but it's in everyone and by effort we try to overcome it. "Don't judge a book by its cover" is a great thing to say AFTER the fact. After they have proven themselves as trustworthy and safe. That does not mean I would walk around giving disrespect to anyone I encounter, but it absolutely means my guard is up.

If you live in Neverland and not a bad part of town, then disregard my statements, but in this world, you're on your own.

Sean, with that being said, being judgemental and close-minded are two very different things. I am judgemental and unapologetic about it, but I love to be as open-minded as possible about people and cultures. The fact is that many people are much smarter than me about a lot of different things and I need to be open to what they know and can offer to add value to my life, even if I didn't like them based on a preconception.

[Pigems]

[quote name='MtlJeff' timestamp='1396121830' post='8975809']
[quote name='Pigems' timestamp='1396121187' post='8975733']
There are more members now then in the past, so theoretically there are more opinions out there to disagree with each oher then before
[/quote]

that's actually a very good point, even if the ratio of faces to heels stays the same, there will be more heels now then 4-5 years ago. And as studies have shown, malcontents are more likely to voice their opinion
[/quote]

Also the longer people are members, the more they know/think they know and the stronger they are likely to feel about/voice there opinions as well, in theory anyways

[butch33611]

I wonder how many people belong to this site but hesitate to post for fear of being ripped apart for a simple idea or theory. I suspect a lot of good ideas and thoughts are lost because of it.

[bp29]

[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1396122499' post='8975879']
Isn't asking if people are becoming judgemental, judgemental in its own right?
[/quote]

IMO no,

The question was as a group our we displaying an excessively critical point of view towards others in threads. "Know it all" if you will.

Offering an opinion that's not condemnatory.

[KevCarter]

[quote name='butch33611' timestamp='1396122433' post='8975877']
I think a lot of it comes from the sheer nature of the game. There's a 1000 ways to swing a club and get good results. Everybody does it their way with different swing thoughts that work for them. Since it works for them they think their way is the correct way and the only way to do it. There's probably more conflicting information about the golf swing then any other sport in the world.

If you watch enough instruction on the golf channel someone will say this is the key move for success. A month later someone else will say talking about the same move....never do this, its a death move.

Put that on top of everybody wants to be right and nobody wants to admit to being wrong and here we are. Crawling through a mine field in search of the perfect golf swing.

By the way, Im loving every minute of it.
[/quote]

Couldn't agree more!

[Asiz]

Another major issue with forums is that some people tend to be very condescending in their comments towards others. If you disagree, then fine. It's the condescending comments that lower the overall value of participating in a thread.

[Hot Rod 71]

I enjoying hearing the opinions of others, but I don not enjoy the getting flamed because I don't have the same opinion. Life is a bout perspective and everyone's is different.

While I enjoy a spirited debate that retains an acceptable level of respect for each other, I do not like when these debates get out of hand and certain members get rude because they think their opinion is the only valid one. There are definitely some members on here who think they know everything and they will stop at nothing to prove it.

I admit I have been sucked into a few of those threads and got rude, myself. This is no one's fault but my own. Once I realized what just happened, I get out.

[PeanutsDaddy]

Here's my judgment:

We focus too much of our attention on the 'Debbie Downers', trolls and curmudgeons (in these forums and in the real world). I look around and see a Forum that is filled with scores of intelligent, witty, fun, caring, and amiable members. I would gladly sign-on to play a round of golf with the vast majority of you. Don't forget we willingly spend time with each other.

Love PD

[Medic]

[quote name='ronstars' timestamp='1396110728' post='8974847']
New members were welcomed a little differently - [b]How would you like new members to be welcomed???[/b]
[color=#FF0000][b]How about trying some humility. What a concept. We were all new once. Sure they may ask something that has been asked a million times but let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Better to gently explain that it has been asked as opposed to the flaming that goes on here constantly.[/b][/color]
Members remembered to simply "do unto others" (or in this case say to) -[b] If I poke fun at you for something you say, I do it in hopes that you return the jab...that's what makes forums fun[/b]
[color=#FF0000][b]To a certain point you are dead on. But you have to admit that some people take it WAY too far. When the name calling starts and members get personal the fun is over, the mods have to step in, and the board loses a lot of its credibility. [/b][/color]
Members would realize that their opinion isn't the final word - ever - [b]Never happen. If they post something and never re visit that thread guess what??? That is the final word [/b]
[color=#FF0000][b]This was a metaphor for allowing others to openly speak (or type) their thoughts without fear of reprisals, attacks, or flames. Again wow what a concept. Being nice to others as you post-in-reply. [/b][/color][list]
[*]If there was zero anonymous - everyone had to use their real name and have a photo of themselves instead of allowing avatars and such - remove the anonymous part of this whole dynamic and you will remove a large percentage of the trolling
[/list]
Great thread Sean. Overdue for members to get a little wake-up call. Of course this post-in-reply is only my opinion. I founded it on having owned/managed a forum for 8 years from 2000 to 2008. (centered on online auctions - when [url="http://www.ebay.com/"][color=#353535]eBay[/color][/url] started their own mine died out) When I forced my members to use real names and insert a photo I lost a few members but I also remedied the troll mess. - [b]Dude your name is: MEDIC and that avatar is of who knows what...So you have that knowledge but still choose to join forums and not use your real name or picture???[/b]
[color=#FF0000][b]I have signed many post with my real name. My real name, when I first joined, was already taken. And so I chose something really fast. Before settling on Medic I tried several cool handles (ronstars for example) and they were taken. [/b][/color]
[color=#FF0000][b]The avatar is me playing #6 at Disney's Magnolia on my 50th birthday. Pic means a lot to me for many reasons and I thought it would make a pretty cool avatar. I have another close-up of me on the same hole but frankly I am not as photogenic as you are. So I figured I would keep it at a distance. [/b][/color]

[b]Hope this straightens it all for you ron. Since joining I have seen several of your post. They are almost always inciteful and intelligent. Surely you can see some value in the idea of treating others with respect? Sadly as someone else already said the world we live in is almost devoid of people actually considering the feelings of others. I know this all too well from first hand job-related experiences. I just choose not to bring so much of the terrible "real world" into my online escape. That's what this place represents for me. I love sharing my experiences (life and golf), asking questions, meeting friends, and basically relaxing. Maybe I am way off here but then again maybe not. Which is my whole point in a nutshell. This is MY opinion. I am not trying to sell anyone on it. I am simply asserting my right to remain entitled to it. [/b]
[b]Jim Wilson[/b]
[b]aka "Medic" [/b]
[/quote]

[Ruddy]

If people are different from me, they deserve to be made fun of! ;-)

Why can't we be friends ? Why can't we be friends ? You know I'd like to be the President ....so I can show you how your money's spent. Why can't we be friends ?

[Sean2]

[quote name='bp29' timestamp='1396119263' post='8975539']
[quote name='Sean2' timestamp='1396118925' post='8975507']
[quote name='nbg352' timestamp='1396118726' post='8975495']
Being of Irish descent, I suffer sometimes from speaking my mind before it knows that my mouth is already in 5th gear. Combine that with passion for a topic or passion for the truth, And you have a recipe for getting into trouble sometimes. I'm guilty of all of that and I sometimes find myself apologizing for misinterpreting the typed word of others. I appreciate that these are opinion based forums, yet my nostrils still flare at opinions that I feel lead readers from the truth.
I make no excuses for the way I present myself to others here on wrx but at times I wish I was less Irish than I am.
[/quote]

Well, at least you're honest.

I'm half-Irish, half-German. A 7-course meal for me is a six-pack and a potato.
[/quote]

I'm Irish and I'm sometimes the same way.

Sean, you just made my miserable day Great!

I'm working and it's pouring.
[/quote]

Thank you BP. :-)

At least you aren't playing golf while it's pouring. It started raining here too...the next couple of days. Waiting for that sunshine combined with warm weather. What a concept. :-)

[Sean2]

[quote name='MelloYello' timestamp='1396120975' post='8975685']
I'm pretty sure that the biggest problem lies in the fact that people on the internet are generally bad writers and ill-equipped with the necessary skills to define what they intend to express.

Across the internet, It's becoming easier and easier to spot the smarter folks, those who are level-headed and can express effectively what they mean to say without being too harsh or disrespectful. They aren't judgmental. They aren't condescending. They aren't too short. They are too long. They're able to disagree without being confrontational and offensive. Hence, they also seem to take criticism quite well in that they separate ideas from self-worth.

I think that's the product of being both A) a little older and more experienced in life (I'm thinking above 21 yrs old) and B) having some respectable amount of intelligence.
[/quote]

You raise a valid point. I had a professor in college once tell us that clear writing indicates clear thinking. :-)

[Sean2]

[quote name='Ballgofarboy' timestamp='1396121015' post='8975693']
Easy to be negative, hard to put out the positive. Why is that? Personal self worth???
[/quote]

That could be part of it. Someone earlier mentioned jealousy.

[Sean2]

[quote name='RRFireblade' timestamp='1396121083' post='8975705']
Judgmental....

That's pretty much what we are all here for, You start a thread, make a comment or whatever and you are either making a judgement or asking for one.

AKA, it's an open forum.

[b]Name calling and/or denigration are a whole different issue[/b]. IMO.
[/quote]

That is the "[b]too[/b]" I was asking about.

[Sean2]

[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1396122499' post='8975879']
Isn't asking if people are becoming judgemental, judgemental in its own right?
[/quote]

You could look at it that way. But I didn't ask that. I asked if people were becoming [b]too[/b] judgmental. :-)

ps: we make judgments everyday: for example, whether we like a certain kind of food; is our boss a a good guy; does this golf ball work for me; and the like. Again, I am referring to being too judgmental.

[Sean2]

[quote name='LittleLeftToRight' timestamp='1396125460' post='8976165']
[quote name='Sean2' timestamp='1396118925' post='8975507']
I'm half-Irish, half-German. A 7-course meal for me is a six-pack and a potato.
[/quote]


I am fully Irish so I skip the 7th course....



The reality of name calling and whatnot on the internet is the inability of some people's egos to let go. Most people have a slightly delusional sense of self and that comes shining through when they post on the internet. Any confrontation immediately sends them into preservation mode trying to maintain their own personal status quo. The ego is a b*tch if you are not aware of it.

I find some of the arguments fun to read though. It is like a freak show sometimes. Whenever I need a good laugh I head to the instruction forum...
[/quote]

I agree. It's as if their self-worth is questioned if their opinion is questioned. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone.

[Sean2]

[quote name='Asiz' timestamp='1396125892' post='8976201']
I don't judge people at all ....


.....except for their looks, clothes, style, attitude, car, job, where they live, people they hang out with, music they listen to, words they say, etc.

I'm going to give my opinion which may or may not be relevant to forums.

Being judgemental is an important aspect of life and staying alive. Many people with a "moral superiority" would never confess to being that way, but it's in everyone and by effort we try to overcome it. "Don't judge a book by its cover" is a great thing to say AFTER the fact. After they have proven themselves as trustworthy and safe. That does not mean I would walk around giving disrespect to anyone I encounter, but it absolutely means my guard is up.

If you live in Neverland and not a bad part of town, then disregard my statements, but in this world, you're on your own.

Sean, with that being said, being judgemental and close-minded are two very different things. I am judgemental and unapologetic about it, but I love to be as open-minded as possible about people and cultures. The fact is that many people are much smarter than me about a lot of different things and I need to be open to what they know and can offer to add value to my life, even if I didn't like them based on a preconception.
[/quote]

Again, I didn't say anything about not being judgmental. :-)

Again, we all judge, as I said above. How could we not? It is part of the human condition.

[Sean2]

[quote name='butch33611' timestamp='1396126599' post='8976267']
I wonder how many people belong to this site but hesitate to post for fear of being ripped apart for a simple idea or theory. I suspect a lot of good ideas and thoughts are lost because of it.
[/quote]

Good point. I hope that's not the case, but one wonders...

[Sean2]

[quote name='Hot Rod 71' timestamp='1396127878' post='8976383']
I enjoying hearing the opinions of others, but I don not enjoy the getting flamed because I don't have the same opinion. Life is a bout perspective and everyone's is different.

While I enjoy a spirited debate that retains an acceptable level of respect for each other, I do not like when these debates get out of hand and certain members get rude because they think their opinion is the only valid one. There are definitely some members on here who think they know everything and they will stop at nothing to prove it.

I admit I have been sucked into a few of those threads and got rude, myself. This is no one's fault but my own. Once I realized what just happened, I get out.
[/quote]

I recently had an experience with one of those. You can discuss your point politely (even prevent facts), but once you realize the person is hooked on their opinion, come what may, it's not worth the drama to continue. :-)

[Sean2]

[quote name='Ruddy' timestamp='1396133072' post='8976853']
If people are different from me, they deserve to be made fun of! ;-)

Why can't we be friends ? Why can't we be friends ? You know I'd like to be the President ....so I can show you how your money's spent. Why can't we be friends ?
[/quote]

Ruddy, we don't have to all be friends...that is probably a tad unrealistic anyway...however, we can endeavor to engage in polite, respectful, reasoned, and rational, discourse, with some teasing thrown in to keep things light. :-)

[ABgolfer2]

It's pretty easy to ignore people whose posts make you gag or roll your eyes. I avoid threads with really long posts (like this one ?), especially when it's the first post. So many replies with "this", "+1", etc made me wear out the scrolling button on my blackberry. When someone clearly has no sense of humour, I also don't judge them. I treat their tirades as valuable life lessons, because the same hotheads posting here are out in the real world too waiting to pounce on an innocent comment or behavioral tick. My pouncing days are long over IRL. It used to really grind my gears when people cheated then wanted to boast about their score, or stand in my peripheral vision on the tee box. I mellowed as I developed coping mechanisms on the course. Some of us need to work on that on a regular basis. Others are never wrong. Ever. We probably can all think of our own list of regulars.

[Pigems]

Maybe this will help...

[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IrTvIKlegM&feature=kp"]https://www.youtube....legM&feature=kp[/url]

[Mr. Grumpy]

I judge people all the time, but that does not mean that I should share all my findings to the public, or treat said judged any differently than I would want to be treated..

[BillyZ2]

The first thing I think of when I read this post is........"the beat goes on"!

[patrick421]

First of all this the world we live in and it's been this way forever, just more available for everyone too see because of the internet these days. I think that this is a golf forum and it is for fun, no one is gonna solve world problems on this site. The holier than thou people that like to turn topics into things they aren't are the root of threads that get out of hand. I think people disagreeing can be entertaining and fun. I mean if anyone is losing sleep over something said on a golf forum then they have some issues far greater then trying to find the next 3 wood that goes 280 off the deck.

[Medic]

[quote name='Mr. Grumpy' timestamp='1396138011' post='8977279']
I judge people all the time, but that does not mean that I should share all my findings to the public, or treat said judged any differently than I would want to be treated..
[/quote]

Bingo. We all judge others all of the time. But you don't ever build yourself up by tearing others down.

[goobers80]

[color=#800080]Peoples still make funs of me for some extra esses in my words i do nots always correct. They objectify women pretty heavily on here too , so it is nots welcoming to female members. Topics full of making fun of *fat chicks* , etc. I tried to ask why to moderators ands rules officials ands was told that rules are *subjective* ands each rules official will decide differently.[/color]

[color=#800080]There is a rule that no avatars offensive to women are allowed. Being a girl , i reported a few ands was told by a guy they were nots. How a guy knows what offends me or women ... He saids i coulds message the poster to change it. So , it became my *job* to moderate their *rules* . I thinks that is the big issue on here. Some rules are enforced by only some Moderators. Others are let go , because they decide to let them go , evens against their own rules.[/color]

[color=#800080]Topics get outs of hand , they lock thems. Some other topic gets outs of hands , they leave them open. Jerks will be jerks , but it does nots help that there is a lack of consistency in their *Rules* , which are supposed to be enforced all the time. At least that is what makes sense to me.[/color]

[color=#800080]In less thans a year , i haves seen this website go froms *family friendly* to juvenile ands stuffs quickly.[/color]

[xan_user]

^^ i took a few years off from wrx after seeing exactly what you're talking about. but i missed the valuable golf info and tour chatter here....

[goobers80]

[color=#800080]There is plenty of golf stuffs here to find , but when a Rules Official tells me i can leave the site if i do nots like how they do nots enforce their own rules , well things shoulds be looked at by whoever is the head of this.[/color]

[PeanutsDaddy]

[quote name='goobers80' timestamp='1396140782' post='8977573']
[color=#800080]Peoples still make funs of me for some extra esses in my words i do nots always correct. They objectify women pretty heavily on here too , so it is nots welcoming to female members. Topics full of making fun of *fat chicks* , etc. I tried to ask why to moderators ands rules officials ands was told that rules are *subjective* ands each rules official will decide differently.[/color]

[color=#800080]There is a rule that no avatars offensive to women are allowed. Being a girl , i reported a few ands was told by a guy they were nots. How a guy knows what offends me or women ... He saids i coulds message the poster to change it. So , it became my *job* to moderate their *rules* . I thinks that is the big issue on here. Some rules are enforced by only some Moderators. Others are let go , because they decide to let them go , evens against their own rules.[/color]

[color=#800080]Topics get outs of hand , they lock thems. Some other topic gets outs of hands , they leave them open. Jerks will be jerks , but it does nots help that there is a lack of consistency in their *Rules* , which are supposed to be enforced all the time. At least that is what makes sense to me.[/color]

[color=#800080]In less thans a year , i haves seen this website go froms *family friendly* to juvenile ands stuffs quickly.[/color]
[/quote]

Goobers,

Let us not paint our brush strokes too broadly. I too have witnessed examples of objectionable behavior, but would not say that it is the norm in these Forums. Not all men are 'pigs' who objectify women.

I do value your contributions to these Forums; like I value those of all informed golfers (male or female).