Are We Becoming A Bit Too Judgmental?

[Sean2]

Just wanted to put this out to all our fine members, but I was wondering if we are getting a bit too judgmental?

 

There is obviously nothing wrong with a good, spirited discussion, but when it degenerates to name calling, etc., concerning, but not limited to, such topics as:

 

1. The kinds of clubs people play,

2. Announcers,

3. PGA professionals,

4. Tee boxes people play,

5. Swing theory,

6. Pace of play.

 

...a good thread can be quickly derailed.

 

What do you all think? Are we becoming a bit too judgmental? Or, does it not really matter one way or the other. :-)

[MtlJeff]

i wouldn't say we're becoming more judgemental. For the most part the site has been the same as long as i've been here.

I think what causes most thread to spiral out of control is "definitive statements" where guys make comments that they profess as facts when really it's quite conceivable that others could believe differently. And then no one wants to admit they're wrong and threads get out of control

Or sometimes the OP just makes a comments that comes off as arrogant and guys jump all over them

But you can't really change that. I've started some controversial threads over the years, as long as you leave yourself open to understanding both sides, and respect both sides....the threads usually go well

[SatelliteGuy]

I think people like to condemn other people for being honest when they are going against the grain...

I think it's ok to be rude as hell to rude people.

Drastically rude.... That's not a popular opinion or mentality and people LOSE THEIR MIND over it...

So yes Sean... I believe people have decided that it's perfectly ok to think that anyone who doesn't think like them are wrong...

It's not everyone... But it's ALOT...



The Earth is flat..... I'm wrong.

It's perfectly ok to be a real a-hole to people who don't act right.... You may disagree... But I'm not wrong.... You just disagree...

Good topic Sean...

May go smoothly.... May turn into a brush fire!

[Puppetmaster]

I think excessively critical and cynical are two other terms I'd use to describe things around here lately. Pretty hostile in certain discussions.

I've posted this before and it probably stems from the inability to have a respectful discussion/debate because of the anonymity of the internet. This is an issue many forums face. Probably still not as bad as most comment sections where there is much less moderation or none at all.

[braincramp52]

I think it's just the nature of the beast. People say stuff to others they normally wouldn't say in person. It's impossible sometimes to really figure out how serious someone is and a lot of people take things out of context. Also,it's easy to be a tough guy behind a keyboard

[Roemike99]

I have posted some comments I didn't like later. I am pretty fired up about some issues. I do not have a filter... and I am really going crazy because of the f&^$*in snow here.... My most important qualifier of the year is May 14 and I doubt I will have 2 games in by then... So I may offer choice words out of frustration!

[Mitchell]

Sean2, as you stated before, we can disagree without being disagreeable.
Opinions are like... nevermind

[Sean2]

A lot of good comments here. Thank you gentlemen!

Yes, some people simply don't like to be "wrong", and take offense if someone disagrees with their "definitive statement(s)". This is too bad, as original topics spiral out of control.

And, I never understood the "hide behind the keyboard" thing. If you aren't willing to say something in person that you say behind your keyboard, then please don't say it. :-)

[Ranchobob]

[quote name='Puppetmaster' timestamp='1396059504' post='8972551']
I think excessively critical and cynical are two other terms I'd use to describe things around here lately. Pretty hostile in certain discussions.

I've posted this before and it probably stems from the inability to have a respectful discussion/debate because of the anonymity of the internet. This is an issue many forums face. Probably still not as bad as most comment sections where there is much less moderation or none at all.
[/quote]

It's not just here. It's society, American society in particular. It's easier to be polarized nowadays because you don't have to read anything that conflicts with your world view (e.g., I bet that there are very few Fox viewers who also watch MSNBC and vice versa).

That has extended into all society and the art of the debate is lost. Can you imagine Joe Five Second Attention Span sitting through the Lincoln-Douglas debates? Not a prayer. Much easier to denigrate and demonize the opposition, find a web page that supports your facts (did you know vaccines cause autism?), and declare victory.

Not meaning to drag politics into the discussion per se, but it think the decline of society (I'm apparently old because I think I see that) is a function of a lack of respect for competing viewpoints and a utter conviction that there must be right and wrong and everything is black and white.

That said, Boston sucks. Go Tigers!

[nututhugame]

One thing I find a lot of on the interweb in general is people hearing what they want to hear. I post something and they interpret it every way except for what it actually says and then attack their view of what I said. Super annoying since I don't talk in any kind of code or anything.

[Petethreeput]

There is a fine essay by Robert Putnam called "Bowling Alone" that speaks to this exact phenomena. I found it to be very well thought out and interesting. Putnam essentially echoes the sentiments of Ranchobob.

Not too long, and politically based, though not political per se.

Anyway, carry on. And for the record, did you know I play blades and think anyone who doesn't isn't a real player?

[wfwp]

Critical thinking more than judgemental. Respect for others is lacking by some people and some posts are with blinders and negative. However most people are courteous enough to appologize after misunderstandings. And most people seem to be be growing their knowledge through sharing experiences.

[Soloman1]

I'm very happy just to wake up every morning. I live in a first-world country where people are not confrontational at all, I don't have any debilitating ailments, I have all my limbs, I can see and hear, I still have some hair, I have some money in the bank, I have a great wife (who's 20 years younger than me) and I can still hit the ball pretty good.

I don't want to have an internet fight with anyone. Give me a call and we'll play some golf.

[Conrad1953]

A person that always has to be "right" will eventually find
themselves alone in the room.

[Itsjustagame]

The longest most engaging threads on here are when people get judgmental.
How entertaining would on line forums be without judgmental statements!
Maybe we are just being too easily offended?

[scooterush]

Great topic Sean ... I find it very frustrating when I read members jumping on other members just because the don't see things the same way... And it is equally frustrating to me as I am a very honest person in public and speak my feelings whenever I find it nesassary , but I have always managed to do it in a way where I have respect for the people I encounter ...

The " lunchroom mentality " to me comes off more often times fake and really rude. And kind of turns me away from the site from time to time...

Like puppet master stated, it's very obvious that most people are hiding behind the anonymity of the internet.
But I do agree to some extent with itsjustagame ... Some of the threads that have judgemental statements are the ones that get the most responses and often times are entertaining to follow... I do wish responses to some topics would be handled with more respect and I think it is down right cowardly for people to throw names or insults at people directly.....
And I do think we can sometimes be a bit sensitive when it is okay to just let something pass....

But in regards to your question... I personally do think we are a bit too judgemental ... But I don't mind it... As long as it's done in a tasteful way... I think that is where we are able to have healthy debates ... And throw in a good joke or two and that's what makes it fun...

[dan360]

There seems to be a larger per capita of holier-than-thousests posters on this forum.

Not really much of a surprise I guess. It would be nice if people were less judgmental, but that would require a complete reboot of the human race. The saying "treat others as you want to be treated" is maybe more honestly stated "treat other others you would want to associate with as you want to be treated by those who would want to associate with you, and treat everyone else like crap."

[mukster]

The problem with a lot of folks:

[GWD]

JUDGMENTAL !?!?

I'm not judgmental at all!!!!! But you are!!!!!!!!

Hmmm...wait.

[HighSpeedScene]

We've always been.

[Roody]

Welcome to every forum on the internets. Internet anonymity brings out some interesting qualities in people.

[cb24]

This thread is about 10 years too late, lol. Should have been posted as a sticky the day this website was created:)

But lets be honest it's what keeps the posts coming a lot of people love drama

[joey2aces]

Nice topic Sean. I think people are quicker to call someone out on here as opposed to in real life. Sometimes i fall prey to that myself. I try and ask myself "would I say this to someone's face?" Believe me, I've deleted posts before posting Them and I've deleted some after.

In this forum i think most would do anything to be on tour so it's easy to rip apart pros for certain things. Since it's rare people carry their driver 300+ yds people jump. I can go on about topics but I digress.

The mods do a great job putting out fires before they get out if control and for the most part people are respectful. But yes, the train can get derailed within minutes.

Being judgmental is the ugly step-cousin of jealousy. Because rarely will a judgmental person admit their jealousy. All we can do is control what we individually say and realize that what anyone else says or does or thinks means nothing. IMHO some people like to be the antagonist because they like to get people riled up.

[Spiritomb]

Totally right. It's one of the reasons I really don't use this site, because some guy will judge me for no reason and get liked for it.

[MtlJeff]

At the end of the day though, it would be great if some people read this thread and actually changed their behavior, though i'm sure we can safely assume that it will not happen large scale. So having said that, some guys still need to have a bit thicker skin, or at least acknowledge their part in the problem

There's a few things i always try and do (though sometimes i make mistakes like everyone)

-If you say something insulting or OTT that the guy probably didn't deserve, apologize for it. People don't apologize online, there's nothing wrong with saying sorry
-You don't HAVE to respond to everyone who insults you. It's not like the 100K members here are going to take your non-response as a conceit of defeat to his argument. There are some members here who post a lot of aggressive things, it's just best to not respond then get drawn into a thread dominating multi page tiff
-If you DO respond. Leave out the passive aggressive comment at the end. Everyone does this....like they will post 2 sentences of response to someone who was rude to them, and rather then leave it at that will throw in a "but i guess some people just don't understand english" or something at the end. Why is this necessary? Sometimes the best way to respond to an insulting post is to just rebut it with something perfectly classy and leave the insults out of it. That tends to defuse it a bit

You'll see some guys who aren't bad guys repeadedly get drawn into things, and then they say like "i'm never posting here again" even though 96% of the people here like them. You need to come here expecting to get insulted sometimes. It's like going to a comedy club and sitting in the front row. So some guys need some thicker skin too

[Conrad1953]

Sean, I would be careful about trying to make this place
too "nice". Many people, in their efforts to make society
a "nice" place end up enforcing a "tyranny of nice" on
others, just because, someone, somewhere might be
offended by what we say.

I'm not saying I believe this is what you want, I'm saying
I know where this can lead.

We all are judgmental whether we admit it or not.

[Pigems]

This place is mild mannered compared to the hockey site I go on, those boys get crazy mad and brutal with each other. You can't even post in another teams board without getting attacked by their fans.

http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/forumdisplay.php?f=16

After reading though a few pages you'll see what I mean lol. But yeah we could always be a nicer to one another

[Medic]

Dead on Sean. I actually stopped coming here for a year just to take a break and get away from the members who are so clearly trolls.

What some members fail to realize and understand is that forums such as this are subjective. They are, in large part, opinion based. And no single opinion is any more or any less valuable than any other. Therein lay the problem because it would seem that many members here have never heard and cannot buy into the simple three word statement YOU ARE WRONG. (or at the very least you might be wrong)

Add to this the fact that members can remain anonymously courageous and boards such as this are bound to have those who cannot play well in the sandbox with others. Members come here all of the time and post things that they would never say face-to-face to anyone. To me it represents perhaps the ultimate example of cowardice.

This board would be much better if:[list]
[*]Everyone always treated everyone else with respect
[*]New members were welcomed a little differently
[*]Members remembered to simply "do unto others" (or in this case say to)
[*]Members would realize that their opinion isn't the final word - ever
[*]If there was zero anonymous - everyone had to use their real name and have a photo of themselves instead of allowing avatars and such - remove the anonymous part of this whole dynamic and you will remove a large percentage of the trolling
[/list]
Great thread Sean. Overdue for members to get a little wake-up call. Of course this post-in-reply is only my opinion. I founded it on having owned/managed a forum for 8 years from 2000 to 2008. (centered on online auctions - when eBay started their own mine died out) When I forced my members to use real names and insert a photo I lost a few members but I also remedied the troll mess.

[xan_user]

[quote name='dan360' timestamp='1396075927' post='8973509']
There seems to be a larger per capita of holier-than-thousests posters on this forum.

[/quote]
A "holier-than-thou" attitude has always been extremely prevalent in golf. There's a history of entitlement that I believe tends to draw certain personality type to this game more so than other sports. im not saying all golfers suffer from this, im just saying i think its a bit higher in golf than most other sports.

[ronstars]

[quote name='Medic' timestamp='1396109110' post='8974723']
Dead on Sean. I actually stopped coming here for a year just to take a break and get away from the members who are so clearly trolls.

What some members fail to realize and understand is that forums such as this are subjective. They are, in large part, opinion based. And no single opinion is any more or any less valuable than any other. Therein lay the problem because it would seem that many members here have never heard and cannot buy into the simple three word statement YOU ARE WRONG. (or at the very least you might be wrong)

Add to this the fact that members can remain anonymously courageous and boards such as this are bound to have those who cannot play well in the sandbox with others. Members come here all of the time and post things that they would never say face-to-face to anyone. To me it represents perhaps the ultimate example of cowardice.

This board would be much better if:[list]
[*]Everyone always treated everyone else with respect
[*]New members were welcomed a little differently
[*]Members remembered to simply "do unto others" (or in this case say to)
[*]Members would realize that their opinion isn't the final word - ever
[*]If there was zero anonymous - everyone had to use their real name and have a photo of themselves instead of allowing avatars and such - remove the anonymous part of this whole dynamic and you will remove a large percentage of the trolling
[/list]
Great thread Sean. Overdue for members to get a little wake-up call. Of course this post-in-reply is only my opinion. I founded it on having owned/managed a forum for 8 years from 2000 to 2008. (centered on online auctions - when eBay started their own mine died out) When I forced my members to use real names and insert a photo I lost a few members but I also remedied the troll mess.
[/quote]

New members were welcomed a little differently - [b]How would you like new members to be welcomed???[/b]
Members remembered to simply "do unto others" (or in this case say to) -[b] If I poke fun at you for something you say, I do it in hopes that you return the jab...that's what makes forums fun[/b]
Members would realize that their opinion isn't the final word - ever - [b]Never happen. If they post something and never re visit that thread guess what??? That is the final word [/b][list]
[*]If there was zero anonymous - everyone had to use their real name and have a photo of themselves instead of allowing avatars and such - remove the anonymous part of this whole dynamic and you will remove a large percentage of the trolling
[/list]
Great thread Sean. Overdue for members to get a little wake-up call. Of course this post-in-reply is only my opinion. I founded it on having owned/managed a forum for 8 years from 2000 to 2008. (centered on online auctions - when [url="http://www.ebay.com/"][color="#353535"]eBay[/color][/url] started their own mine died out) When I forced my members to use real names and insert a photo I lost a few members but I also remedied the troll mess. - [b]Dude your name is: MEDIC and that avatar is of who knows what...So you have that knowledge but still choose to join forums and not use your real name or picture???[/b]