heckling!!!!!!

[LJ_GOLF1]

HIT IT WITH YOU PURSE !

[The Chicken Connoisseur]

Last year on my golf team, this happened all the time:

Okay, so if the guy who left his putt short has a girlfriend, we'd always say, "Are you taking putting lessons from [Girlfriend's name]?"

[Steel Ninja]

When I see a buddy's drive heading for a backyard I yell "HIT SOMETHING CHEAP!!" or "AFFLACK!!"

[meroj]

When someone leaves a putt short, just stare at them for a few moments and say, "Nice Shirt, does it come in a mans size?"

[Linkster]

when your buddy constantly outdrives simply say, "wow you really hit it far for such a short backswing" whamo all over the place.

[MoGolf]

When somebody hits a big banana into the trees. Hit them with a quote from an old english golf commentator: "That would be to the golfer's right!"

[overtona]

Your $700 driver is not the problem...It's the other 35 clubs in your bag

[DrSchteeve]

Partner knocks it way past the hole on a putt: "Nice drive."

Partner has 100 foot putt: "Do you need your driver?"

Partner hits decent shot: "Nice shot, for you."

[press007]

You know hes hitting a 3 iron, he hits it and you say good 6 iron!

You know he hits a slice, when you get to a hole with water right. "Damn water on the right"

[6t4gt0]

Buddy says "Short again" I reply "yeah that's what your wife tells me!".
Buddy misses green after good drive, I reply "it's hard to recover from a good drive!".
Buddy remarks nice stroke after I miss a 3 footer, "yeah that's what your wife tells me!".

[wkuo3]

-What da U had for breakfast?
-must had been a big night last night hummm?
-nice lag piutt, you're still below the hole.
-I know we'd been playinghere for years, but watch out for the OB on the left.
-boy, the wind is really blowing today, I'm not sure whether to hit a 4 or a 2 iron, what do you think?

[stianvm]

When someone leaves a putt way short "nice putt, your turn"

[Swingtheclub]

Wow what ever happened to Its a Gentlemens game?

[Lefty44]

Response to a terrible putt or chip:
How'd that not go in?

Response to a ball that's sliced off the planet:
Fore Left! (for when it comes around the other side)

When someone has a short putt:
Knock it close.

[Brock]

- on poor bunker play= Do you want some sand with that sandwich?

- water shot or topped= Try again and this time use the ladies tee box Gladys?

- on a chunky fairway shot= Oh, that will twist your panties...wont it <insert name here>?

[birdiemaster]

situation: when a guy hits it short or consistently short off the tee.

 

Do u like Linda Ronstadt?

 

why?

 

Because he/she or I just "Blue Bayou" =blew by you :tongue:

 

situation: guy putts short of the cup.

 

Man, it must be that sudden surge of Estrogen. :P

[NitroLuvr]

"If I sucked as bad as you I would quit while I am ahead."

"You should have saved $300 on that driver and bought lessons."

"Drive for show put for dough huh?"

"Does your husband play too?"

"Put some hair on that hole and might hit it."

"Hike up your skirt and hit it next time Alice."

"Don't worry there is water to the right and OB to the left."

"Are you trying to suck this bad?"

"Don't worry you'll miss it."

"Does that putt remind you of your dating life? All lip and no hole over and over huh?"

"Nice three jack."

"There isn't enough room on the scorecard for double digits."

"You sure make me feel good about my game."

"Look on the bright side you can only improve."

[Ronzo]

When the guy tops the drive: "Ladies' tee rule, right?"

 

Played on Long Island with another guy and two female cops. They informed him they wanted to have that rule in effect when he topped the drive, and they were serious.

[bucketmiz60]

honestly i usually just say "dude you suck" or something along those lines.

[Golferb8s]

After your buddy hits a huge slice.... I don't think you're swinging hard enough.... This usually incurs another huge slice... :drinks:

[BEND OF THE RIVER GC]

I say that when a putt is dead online but short "dang...you had it in her mouth but mom walked in"

 

Classic, especially when one can relate!

[ty cheek]

When someone asks if a putt is good, reply "it's not bad".

 

Lastly a friend told me I had to much L.O.F.T.? I ask what he meant, I'm playing a 10.5* driver, and he responded;

 

Lack Of F**CK*NG Talent

 

 

 

Ty :drinks:

[Dill Pickleson]

i always enjoy saying "nice putt alice" when they leave one short, or just a simple "nice ball" when they hit a really bad shot, or "be right" when its bad

[paperclip]

After your buddy hits his approach shot to a well-bunkered green, while the ball is in the air, shout:

"go in the bunker! go in the bunker!" And for some reason, it usually does.

[cb_golfer]

After a putt and they are still the farthest from the hole, "You're still hot". Well received by strangers.

[Baycal92510]

working at a golf course I have heard most of them but have enjoyed reading this page and wanted to share one of my favorites. It's me, a couple of regulars, and this young kid who although only 9, shoots par or very close to it pretty much every time he tee's it up. I love playin with this kid he loves the game and having spent his whole life on a golf course.....The lesson's of trash talking he has wittnessed have not been lost on him. So we tee off one day and this older guy trying to cut the corner hits a duck hook about 70 yds into some bushes.....Without missing a beat the kid came with one of the best of all time..

the ball had barely come to rest and he looks at this fella and say's "that's where my little sister usually hits it!!!!".....awesome!!!.....He then stepped up and hit's a 200 yd drive right down the center.....Later in the round the other guy we were playing with topped a ball weakly down the fairway that ended up well short of the green....This kid looks at the guy and say's "are those kids clubs?"...we were rolling!!! oh my lord so damn funny....The best part was when the guy murmered under his breath in a funny voice"are those kids clubs"....The kid knocks it to a couple feet and looks back at him and says "Yes they are"....Awesome

[Shaitan]

hahaha some of these are good

 

I like this after leaving something short:

 

"Hey you dropped something"

"What?"

"Your handbag"

 

"There's plenty of golf left in that!"

[Ronzo]

After running the putt ten feet past the hole: "Traded in your handbag for a sporran, huh?"

[One_Putt_Blunder]

when someone knocks a putt outside everyone else I always Like "well the good news about that putt is your still away".

before someone tees off on a par 3 "I hope you knock it close" that always works too

[scuface]

Leaving a putt short: "Did your purse get in the way?"