Paired with a Single

[Mooreland]

What do you like/hate when paired with a single?  I've just started playing, and been going out mostly as a single the past few months.  I've been paired up with all sorts and definitely have opinions from the single's side.  Looking for views from the other direction.

[2bGood]

Don't like. 

 

Music (better ask first)

Slow play

Telling me how to play/giving swing advice

Being a total duchebag - (I can get along with almost every person and enjoy chatting with folks with different world views, but some people are just jerks)

 

Having said all that, can't say it happens often or ever that I get single that is an issue. I have played with lots of singles and enjoyed almost all of them, but of course I don't like every person in the world.

 

My like list is actual not very long, I guess if they share some interesting stories I enjoy it. I also have had the weird luck to end up with some very high level players over the years, that is always fun for me. 

Edited May 8, 2023 by 2bGood

[EdY]

Depends. Public or private?  If at our club which is a golfing (mostly) club, and 99% of the people I’ve met are down home easy going, low dues, very small initiation fee, there might be a reason you’re a single. We have an online tee sheet so people can see openings. Everyone is welcome if there’s an open slot, we just ask that whoever wants to join ask one of those already signed up just to make sure the slot is still available since there’s 6-7 guys trying to fill openings. AND they know it’s a $20 bet with gross and net options AND we play the back tees at 6400 yds par70. Vanity caps usually stop joining on their own. 
 

When traveling I play exclusively as a single. 100% formal golf etiquette, help look for stray balls, hold pins, try to tell a light hearted joke or two and generally ask my playing partners about themselves and let them talk. Wait to see if anyone else is playing music. Maybe bring it up a few holes into the round after getting to know the vibe of the group or not. 
 

My Index is around a 5 right now so that helps as most of the groups I’m paired with are not. 
 

I guess what I’m saying is it doesn’t matter either way. If one is polite, respectful, and uses good golf etiquette, you should be welcome regardless of which side you’re on. 

[Naptime]

I don't like to share a cart with a stranger.  If it's separate carts I don't care.

[North Butte]

As long as they don't hold me up pace-wise and don't play music or other noise (i.e. podcasts) it's all good.

 

I will say at some point if they're having to search for their ball constantly, my willingness to help them poke around in the woods diminishes after a few holes.  I usually spend a minute or so looking for my own errant shots, as long as they're not in thick underbrush or something, then I move on. Not really interested in doing more than that for someone else's ball.

 

On the plus side, always nice to get paired up with someone who hits a lot of really great shots. It's fun to see and I think it tends to rub off a little and make me swing more confidently. Kind of weird but true.

[Klubster]

When I was young, my job gave me every Tuesday off while all my friends worked.  I used to go to the course as a single and usually got paired up.  I was a single digit handicap, so I could fit in with most groups without bogging them down.  I used to enjoy it and met a lot of great guys.  I would just play whatever tees they played and enjoyed the day.  Any day golfing is better than a day working.

[SteelieD]

I play a ton as a single. 9 times out of 10, I meet great people and have a fun time. Just don’t don’t be an a-hole. Practice standard golf etiquette as has been mentioned. Keep up. Not all that difficult to get along with people.

 

[JDTex]

When I travel I end up playing a lot as a single. I'll echo others on here that I don't like a sharing a cart with someone I don't know, but that is irregardless of their attitude. It just seems strange to ride around with someone I don't know. My big thing is I don't like people who try to give out swing advice. Just play your game, keep up, and be friendly. I've been lucky that I have gotten paired with good folks 99% of the time. The 1% are the folks that want to get political or are overly angry about their game when they aren't playing good.

[JDTex]

I also try to play whatever tees the rest of the group is playing just to keep the pace up and be part of the "group".

[bellken]

Most of us may be a single at some point. As long as you are able to keep up, it should be fine.

[PJE]

I’ve played as a single and played with singles as part of a twosome or threesome with singles.  

It’s fine. 
 

[Greenie]

Don't like:

Slow play

Music (maybe if it is classic rock or blues) and it is low enough I can't hear it. 

Telling me how to play/giving swing advice.

Certain personalities...I don't discuss politics or religion.

I can't handle cigars. If you think you are keeping the smoke to yourself you can't.

People that are constantly on their phones. I noticed when I go out later in the afternoon and I pair up with other singles I run into a fair amount of singles that have left their business early to play. They are on the phone a lot trying to run things from the course from their phone.

Someone that is looking for their ball too long. 

 

Like:

Good pace of play

Good conversation or not much conversation. I can go either way.

Plays ready golf a plus.

Good etiquette

Edited May 7, 2023 by Greenie

[WasatchBogey]

I play as a single probably 99% of the time, normally get joined up with a group or another single.

 

I have yet to - 

 

Have anyone give me swing advice 

Comment on or even notice my clubs

Play music so loud it was obnoxious 

etc

 

I normally just play the plublic courses here in Utah, but have hit Mesquite & Scottsdale for a few rounds this year. 
 

Just play golf & don’t be a d*ck, it’s not rocket surgery

[vbb]

Two of the best three rounds I've carded this decade came after I was paired up randomly with a single. In both cases, the other guy was playing decently well and it kept me locked in because even though we weren't competing, you can't help but want to follow a good shot with a good shot. Both guys were on the quieter side of things... some small talk and "nice shots" but didn't tell a lot of golf jokes or stories and didn't want to get into the whole "what do you do for a living" conversation which always sparks a lot of follow up unless I fib.

 

I'm easy-going though, and can play with just about anyone. I don't prefer music but it doesn't mess me up, and I don't get offended by cursing, drinking, untucked shirts or even a little fire when a bad shot is hit. I don't like slow players though, that's the number one thing. The guys that get ready to hit and then decide to stop and tell a story are annoying. Also, I don't like unsolicited swing advice. Other than those two things, we're good.

Edited May 7, 2023 by vbb

[mshills]

I play frequently as a single, and if in a group of 2 or 3, I always ask a single behind us to pair up. 
 

The Good: most everything. I’ve met some really cool people and some good players over the years. I like to talk golf equipment, yours or mine, and I REALLY like to talk golf courses. If you’ve got some recommendations in the area, let’s hear them!

 

The Bad: obvious items. Play efficiently, but you don’t need to rush. Don’t talk about how badly you are playing, no need to make excuses and bring the vibe down. If you get mad after a bad shot, hey no problem it happens to everyone, but get mad, don’t stay mad. If we are walking I am not going to tell you to put out your cigar. If we are sharing a cart I will.

 

The Ugly: NO politics, just don’t. NO swing advice. If you are out to get blind drunk and golf is a distraction, no thanks. But this is almost never the single, but rather the group paired with the single. 

[North Butte]

1 hour ago, vbb said:

Two of the best three rounds I've carded this decade came after I was paired up randomly with a single.

One of the first times I ever had a realistic chance to break 80 I was paired up with another single. He asked me with about four holes to go what my score was and I made the mistake of telling him and adding, "Best round of my life, maybe today's the day I break 80 for the first time".

 

From then on he was trying to be encouraging but it turned into a shot-by-shot update. I'd hit a bad tee shot and he's like, "We'll find that one, even if you make bogey you can still shoot 78". And so forth. Finally, I three-putted 17 and he was like, "Birdie on the last for 79!!!!" and I laughed out loud and said, "C'mon you're starting to freak me out a little. I can't take the pressure". He was a little crestfallen but dropped the cheerleader stuff.

 

I did par the closing Par 5 and shoot 80 which was a personal best. I thanked him for sharing the round with me and he kind of sheepishly said he'd been rooting for me to get my 79. It was all in good fun but I really did wonder if I'd have maybe done a little better without the shot-by-shot reminder of where I stood.

 

It was several years later when I finally broke through and the group I was playing with that day knew I had a good round going (we were a dogfight team) so they went out of their way not the mention a word about scores for the final few holes. Didn't want to jinx me. I just kept making my pars and walking to the next tee talking about baseball or something. 

[Greenie]

1 hour ago, WasatchBogey said:

I play as a single probably 99% of the time, normally get joined up with a group or another single.

 

I have yet to - 

 

Have anyone give me swing advice 

Comment on or even notice my clubs

Play music so loud it was obnoxious 

etc

 

I normally just play the plublic courses here in Utah, but have hit Mesquite & Scottsdale for a few rounds this year. 
 

Just play golf & don’t be a d*ck, it’s not rocket surgery

 

Man you have been lucky. Just in the last 6 weeks for me:

 

A single paired up with my buddy and I. I had hit ten fairways in a row for me. The single hit farther than me but couldn't hit a fairway. On my 11th drive I pushed it out to the right. This guys starts telling me no wonder you hit it over their. I have been watching your swing and he says I don't know how you are able to hit any fairways. Your setup is all wrong and starts giving me swing advice.

 

I single joined up with my buddy and I. He was a nice enough guy. We were all hitting fairways with our drives. We got to a back up and were waiting on the tee box. The guy notices my driver and asks about it. I showed it to him and told him it was an Tour Edge Exotics. He said he never heard of the brand and says I never go for the knock offs, spend your money and get a real driver.. He goes into how he got fitted for his Taylor Made driver years ago and nothing can knock it out of his bag.  The next hole was a par 5 and I am a little pissed off about his comment about my driver so after we all tee off I said here try this one time and tell me what you think? He hits his straightest drive of the day and we can see it's past his other drive. He says wow! Then he says being a knock off it must not be legal. I'm done  LOL

 

I went out as a single and paired up with another single on hole 6. We both were in separate carts. I didn't realize he had music on at first because he had it low. I guess he got comfortable with us paired up on the back because he turned it up. It wasn't overly loud but when it isn't your kind of music it seems to loud. He was playing what I call elevator music, put on hold phone music, doctors office music. I made the comment do you think you are in the doctor's office. He knew what I meant because he responded no but I am a retired Dentist and I am use to this type of music. He didn't turn it down and I didn't ask.  It was on hole 16 that it started to get to me so I didn't make an issue of it.

 

 

 

 

Edited May 7, 2023 by Greenie

[Greenie]

11 minutes ago, North Butte said:

 

 

It was several years later when I finally broke through and the group I was playing with that day knew I had a good round going (we were a dogfight team) so they went out of their way not the mention a word about scores for the final few holes. Didn't want to jinx me. I just kept making my pars and walking to the next tee talking about baseball or something. 

Congrats on the break through!

 

The first time I shot in the 70's I was in my regular foursome. I had shot 80 a dozen times before but this time I felt it was going to be different. I was ahead of the game instead of coming on strong at the end.. Somewhere on the back nine everyone got quiet. No more joking around or talking. It was weird. I looked at my best friend on one hole and said not today. He smiled but everyone remained quiet. I had a few stokes to spare on 18 and to finish it off I made a long putt for par. I raised my voice and said 'not today buddy" as I watch my putt go in. The silence was broken by everyone, congrats,jokes, etc. They still had to putt out because I was the farthest away but they were about giving me a WTG. Good guys.

[North Butte]

48 minutes ago, Greenie said:

Congrats on the break through!

 

The first time I shot in the 70's I was in my regular foursome. I had shot 80 a dozen times before but this time I felt it was going to be different. I was ahead of the game instead of coming on strong at the end.. Somewhere on the back nine everyone got quiet. No more joking around or talking. It was weird. I looked at my best friend on one hole and said not today. He smiled but everyone remained quiet. I had a few stokes to spare on 18 and to finish it off I made a long putt for par. I raised my voice and said 'not today buddy" as I watch my putt go in. The silence was broken by everyone, congrats,jokes, etc. They still had to putt out because I was the farthest away but they were about giving me a WTG. Good guys.

I lost count of how many 80's I had over a period of several years before breaking through. It was double digits plus a boatload of 81's. Amazing how mental playing well can be, you're 6 over par after 15 holes and the pressure feels more than being 25 over after 15!

 

I was at a golf clinic one time where a sports psychologist was talking to mostly college golfers and plus-handicap amateurs who played in big tournaments. He was saying how they mentally needed to be prepared for that day when they make six or seven birdies on the front nine and have to not let it affect them for the rest of the round. I was thinking, if I'm ever seven under after nine holes I'm not sure I'd care what happened on the back nine.

[Bonneville85308]

Likes: Keeps pace, especially if it's an early AM round; pleasant, positive personality; plays ready golf; carries on conversation when it makes sense but not a total chatterbox; knows basic etiquette.

 

Hates: Smokes in the cart while I'm sitting in it if it's a shared cart; plays music in a shared cart without asking first; political talk; unsolicited swing advice; damaging the course either willfully or through ignorance; militant walkers who insist on walking a course not designed for walking and cause the group to fall behind; continuous uncontrolled anger/rage extending beyond just an occasional bad shot; just plain being a jerk.

 

I've probably played hundreds of rounds with random singles over the past 25 years, only a couple of them were so unpleasant that I'd refuse to play with them again.

Edited May 7, 2023 by Bonneville85308

[Greenie]

7 minutes ago, North Butte said:

I lost count of how many 80's I had over a period of several years before breaking through. It was double digits plus a boatload of 81's. Amazing how mental playing well can be, you're 6 over par after 15 holes and the pressure feels more than being 25 over after 15!

 

I was at a golf clinic one time where a sports psychologist was talking to mostly college golfers and plus-handicap amateurs who played in big tournaments. He was saying how they mentally needed to be prepared for that day when they make six or seven birdies on the front nine and have to not let it affect them for the rest of the round. I was thinking, if I'm ever seven under after nine holes I'm not sure I'd care what happened on the back nine.

 

As I mentioned above most of my 80's were coming on strong at the end to shoot 80. What really helped me. I learned from the few times I let those in the 70's rounds slip away on the last few holes. I had the chances, was nervous, didn't blow up , but slipped up enough to end up with an 80. I used the saying "not today" as my motivation to not let it slip away again.  I was nervous on 16 but I knew I could do it and looked at my friend.."Not today" He knew what I meant.

[WasatchBogey]

2 hours ago, Greenie said:

 

Man you have been lucky. Just in the last 6 weeks for me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, that’s unlucky and unfortunate.

 

All three of those guys broke my prime directive- “Just play golf & don’t be a d*ck”😆

[Greenie]

39 minutes ago, WasatchBogey said:

Wow, that’s unlucky and unfortunate.

 

All three of those guys broke my prime directive- “Just play golf & don’t be a d*ck”😆

I enjoyed playing with all of them. 

 

I only told my stories because you mentioned those situations have never happened to you. I could look back on my recent pairings and I experienced every one of those situations.

 

 

[Mooreland]

How about this... As I said, I've been playing mostly as a single with good luck on pairings, except the very first time I tried to play by myself.  I went out at the end of the day (4pm in the winter)  There was a two ball ready to go out and the starter wanted to put me with them (technically I had the next tee time.)  They refused to let me tee up with them and I ended up following them around for 9 holes.  Is that a legimate response or definite a**holes?

[5 O'Clock Charlie]

2 hours ago, Mooreland said:

the starter wanted to put me with them (technically I had the next tee time.)  They refused to let me tee up with them and I ended up following them around for 9 holes.  Is that a legimate response or definite a**holes?

 

Wow who is running that course? It's not the staff, that's for sure. Probably best you didn't play with them as they seemed to be total D-bags. On the other hand, if the patrons are pushing the staff around and calling the shots, I wouldn't want to play there regularly.

[Greenie]

5 hours ago, Mooreland said:

How about this... As I said, I've been playing mostly as a single with good luck on pairings, except the very first time I tried to play by myself.  I went out at the end of the day (4pm in the winter)  There was a two ball ready to go out and the starter wanted to put me with them (technically I had the next tee time.)  They refused to let me tee up with them and I ended up following them around for 9 holes.  Is that a legimate response or definite a**holes?

You are going to run into all kind of people on the course. Yes they were a**holes..Not everyone is going to want to pair up with a stranger. That's fine with me. If the starter paired you up that's different and they should have played with you. In your case if they didn't want to pair up they should have at least let you tee off first. 

 

 It was late in the day my guess is.. Two can play faster than three. They wanted to move as fast as they could if possible to make sure they finished their round before it got late or dark.

 

You are going to meet a**holes on the course and nice people too. Hopefully more nice people. I wouldn't take anything personal.

Edited May 8, 2023 by Greenie

[DaveGoodrich]

If you are joining a group as a single: try to respect the "vibe" of the group (serious/not serious, quiet/talkative, quick/relaxed, etc.).  And try to at least appear as if you are enjoying yourself.  Nobody wants to play with a grump who complains about their game, and the course, the entire time.   

 

I have had no issues with the vast majority of singles I have been matched with, either as a single myself, or as part of a group I am with.   Its a great way to meet other golfers.   I used to play as a single most of the time.  I was fortunate, during one of those solo rounds, to join up with someone with similar handicap, who is as fanatical as I am.  He has ended up being a long-term playing partner, and he also introduced me to a men's league that has been a wonderful addition to my golf life.   OP, may you be so lucky...

[bcjim]

I've met at least half of my regular partners by either being a single or them being a single. Its very rare that an objectionable single gets sent out with us. 

 

[mshills]

Paired up today. Two singles (me and another guy) paired with a twosome. 
 

Two super seniors, one senior, plus me (I’m closer to 50 than 45) so we all played from a whopping 5400 yards. 
 

Had a fantastic time. Man have I met some fun people playing this game!

[Mrgreen36]

I always hope for, but never turns out to be, a hot single female. 

 

Usually a fat sweaty guy, but they don't walk so I don't have to talk to them. 😆 

 

I typically play solo, I will sometimes make tee times where I will be the third wheel, most times it's rather enjoyable (always earlier morning tee times) I meet some nice people whom I will never remember their names.