First Time Dad Tips?

[dikaia22]

So after quite the journey my wife and I are finally expecting our first child (a little girl) the week of the Masters. Kind of awesome my daughter will share a birthday with arguably the best week of the year! I digress though, I am looking for any and all advice from Dad's throughout this great forum. So lay it on me.

[chickenpotpie]

1) enjoy it, the grow up quick!

2) make sure to help your wife the 1st year or so. Her job will be toughest, given that she is likely to be a good source for part of that time, and will probably have to get up at all hours. In the middle of the night, our routine was that I'd get up and change the diaper first then bring her to my wife. That way we both had to deal with night time feedings

3) get used to watching tv at off hours

4) forget about lowering that handicap and just enjoy getting out 1 or 2 times a month (I dropped my golf league for a year)

5) get a minivan (yes it sucks, but worth it)

6) open a 529

7) just try to survive the 1st 6 weeks....that is the toughest. The child is not fun at this point. Sleeps a lot, often when you don't want them to. During this time they are figuring out how to sleep at night, so this is pure survival. Things get easier from here.

 

Good luck!

 

Having said all that, subsequent kids are easier. You and your wife will totally stress about things with the 1st that you won't about the next ones.

[onlyomar]

Love your wife and spend time with your daughter.

[Bob Cat]

1) enjoy it, the grow up quick!

2) make sure to help your wife the 1st year or so. Her job will be toughest, given that she is likely to be a good source for part of that time, and will probably have to get up at all hours. In the middle of the night, our routine was that I'd get up and change the diaper first then bring her to my wife. That way we both had to deal with night time feedings

3) get used to watching tv at off hours

4) forget about lowering that handicap and just enjoy getting out 1 or 2 times a month (I dropped my golf league for a year)

5) get a minivan (yes it sucks, but worth it)

6) open a 529

7) just try to survive the 1st 6 weeks....that is the toughest. The child is not fun at this point. Sleeps a lot, often when you don't want them to. During this time they are figuring out how to sleep at night, so this is pure survival. Things get easier from here.

 

Good luck!

 

Having said all that, subsequent kids are easier. You and your wife will totally stress about things with the 1st that you won't about the next ones.

 

Not enough of us do this and it's a fantastic tax advantage.

 

Teach her how to properly shake hands w/ folks. For some reason we forget to teach the girls. First impressions.

[bigchucksr]

Pay attention, appreciate every moment, spend as much time as you can with your child because it truly goes it what in later years seems to be a wink of the eye. Congratulations!

[BMKibler12]

Congratulations man. Fatherhood is awesome.

 

My advice... if you feel like you're doing 90% of the work, you are. So is your wife. It's a whole new ball game from when it was just the two of you.

 

Along those lines, have grace for everyone; yourself included. Relax your expectations and do what others have suggested and just be present.

[hammy83]

I just went through the exact same thing. April 20th my daughter was born (my first kid) and it has been amazing. For a bit all the do is eat sleep crap and cry. Not much interaction and then it gets really fun. They start smiling, laughing, crawling and mine is just about to walk. As every said... it goes by way too quickly.

Most women in general are unpredictable creatures.... this because especially evident during this time. They want a break from but want spend time with the baby. They'll ask you do do something and then watch you do it. They literally contradict everything because that mother/kid bond. Dont try to argue about it, dont try and understand it. Just try to be as helpful as possible and laugh off what you can. its actually not that bad in the grand scheme of things and it does get better,

[Yanki01]

my daughter is 16 months and i still remember holding her like the tiny baby she was the day she was born. the longest day of our lives. now she's walking and talking a lot. she's non-stop sometimes. when she was a baby it was a little easier but now that she's moving, you have to be on your toes. you have no idea how loud you are trying to be so quiet when putting them to bed. don't forget about your wife during the process. make time for a date night or something nice for her every so often.

[JackpotJohnny]

A lot of great advice in here.

The only thing I can ad to it is, whenever you get frustrated....because you will

Remembered how very lucky you are

[damyers10]

The days go slow but the years go fast. Stay in the moment as much as you possibly can.

[Kaysquare]

You will be exhausted, & sleep deprived. But remember your wife will be even more so. Accept help from family & friends, you'll need it & they'll be sincere in offering it. Take an evening off at least once a week, & have a real "date" with your wife....the baby will be fine with family or friends & your mental health will definitely need the escape (even if it's just to go have a burger somewhere....just do it, get away from the house for a while). And RELAX, first babies are always stressful. Every little thing they do you will exaggerate & make it seem more serious than it is. If you choose to have another child, you will be absolutely amazed at how much easier & less stressful it is. You & your wife should have fun....get plenty of sleep....and be NICE to each other. :taunt:

[TapIn4Dbl]

Lots of great advice. I'll add make sure you and wife continue to live your lives. Both together and separately. You both should make every effort to allow the other to have their individual free time to enjoy hobbies. Of course sacrifices will have to be made. Just make sure you're both on the same page and agree with scheduling that free time. Same goes for the together time. A child does not have to eliminate the romance in your marriage.

 

This will come in a couple years but do not let you daughter develop the habit of sleeping in your bed. It's a pain in the a** to break. Went through it with my step son when my wife and I first got married. Now going through it with our oldest daughter. Step son was easy to break. Unfortunately, daughter is as stubborn as her father so it's taking a much longer time.

[NV825]

Dad of a 3 year old boy here. It truly is an amazing journey that goes by a lot faster than you notice because you see your child all the time. Just be prepared to be pushed to your limits and have the ability to calm yourself down when all they do is cry regardless of everything you try to do to calm them down.

[CEPHAS]

it gets better. it may seem hard and exhausting. but that's because it is. it is a team effort. I will say this now being a father of three(7, ,5, 3) as hard as you feel you are working your wife is working harder. please allow her to take time for herself. if scheduling permits, when she asks to have some time alone say yes. you will be ok with the baby. affirm your wife that you recognize and appreciated all her hard work. it will be easy for her to fell like she is not doing a good job.

 

that's all I can think of right now. enjoy the ride!

[Sir Hitalot]

Try very, very hard NOT to give them a dummy (pacifier, i believe you call it). Or at least limit it's use.

 

If i'm honest, with my first child, it was something that both my wife and I regretted doing. While it served a short term fix it was HELL later on when she was a year plus. Constantly going in to her bedroom, maybe 3 times nightly, for a 'pacifier alert' where she'd let it slip out while asleep. If it wasn't in, she was screaming!!

 

Plus, i absolutely dislike seeing older kids still using them. Awful. Never mind what it's doing to their jaws.

 

I fully discovered the meaning of tiredness. Proper, proper, PROPER, bone crunching tiredness......

 

Thank God my second wasn't interested in one!!

 

Tiredness = It's coming! If your house is anything like mine, all jobs except breast feeding are 'Blue jobs'. Pink jobs.....Yeh, right!!

 

They'll make you laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time.

 

Congrats and enjoy.

[PapaJohick]

Like every had said. It's the best accomplishment you'll have in your life. My oldest is now 5 going on 15 it seems haha. She's full of spunk a princess and a strong young girl. My youngest is 20 months. She is a spitball haha. My tough one that doesn't take anything from anyone haha.

 

Have fun, help out, and remember that they are learning just like you so set a good example by staying patient and as calm as possible when they go nuts.

[catfish86]

I have 3 girls under age 5....without a doubt the most difficult one is the first one. Major lifestyle adjustment. I wouldn't give it up for anything!

[Sanders74]

1 becomes 8 in a wink. Best thing that ever happened no doubt. Be there everychance you get.

[hammy83]

1 becomes 8 in a wink. Best thing that ever happened no doubt. Be there everychance you get.

 

I think you meant 1 becomes 8 in a wink if you don't get snipped or use protection? Good for you but my lucky number is 2. How do you afford and manage 8?

[SixtySomePing]

Dad of three, grandfather of 7, and husband of the same wonderful woman of 43 years. Let's start with my first tip for you. Make sure you are loving and thoughtful of your dear wife through this whole great experience. By the time of giving birth she will have been through quite a few changes and still has a lot to face ahead. She will need your total support and understanding. She will also need your help, even with things maybe you don't normally do, whether it's cooking, cleaning, laundry, it's really a big help to her to be there for her. Now, the baby, wow, what a great blessing for both of you. Your lives will change forever, but it will be for the good. Continue to be there in every phase of your baby's growth, share every part of growing with her. Don't hesitate to read to your baby, play with her, and truly love each new little thing she learns. Before you know it she will be crawling, then walking, then riding a bike, and going to school, and before you know it, she will be gone and starting her own family. My wife and I can truly say we spent together as much time as possible with each of our children as they were growing up, and now they are in their 30's and early 40's and still remember everything we did as a family. We still get together with their families, and we see the same attention to their kids that we gave to them. I hope there are some tips here which may be helpful to you :)

[dikaia22]

A lot of great advice in here.

The only thing I can ad to it is, whenever you get frustrated....because you will

Remembered how very lucky you are

 

In all honesty its something that I have started to remind myself every day. Without getting too deep into it when you get told by multiple doctors that you will probably never have a child, you exhaust all your options, and then it just happens, the thing you have been fixated on, and dreamt about and cried about happens, maybe its something that goes beyond luck.

[dikaia22]

1) enjoy it, the grow up quick!

2) make sure to help your wife the 1st year or so. Her job will be toughest, given that she is likely to be a good source for part of that time, and will probably have to get up at all hours. In the middle of the night, our routine was that I'd get up and change the diaper first then bring her to my wife. That way we both had to deal with night time feedings

3) get used to watching tv at off hours

4) forget about lowering that handicap and just enjoy getting out 1 or 2 times a month (I dropped my golf league for a year)

5) get a minivan (yes it sucks, but worth it)

6) open a 529

7) just try to survive the 1st 6 weeks....that is the toughest. The child is not fun at this point. Sleeps a lot, often when you don't want them to. During this time they are figuring out how to sleep at night, so this is pure survival. Things get easier from here.

 

Good luck!

 

Having said all that, subsequent kids are easier. You and your wife will totally stress about things with the 1st that you won't about the next ones.

 

Great Advice! Thanks man!

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

Lots of great advice and words of wisdom already. Here are a couple of mine:

Stock up on nappies/diapers if you have space. No need to overdo it, but if you get a pack in a month between now and the Masters, you'll have a 2-3 packs and you won't need to worry about them for a bit.

Accept clothes from friends and relatives, and avoid buying everything new. Babies don't care about the latest fashions, and they grow out of their stuff so quickly anyway. We got loads of clothes from people, and still haven't bought much new for ours. Big saving there.

Babies are tougher than you think, but they're also dumb as bricks. They have no sense of danger, so watch out, especially when they start crawling.

If/when you start bottle feeding, get an electric pot that heats the water up then keeps it at 60*C. It's much easier to cool down from 60* (or whatever that is in Fahrenheit) than boiling point. Also it means you have a ready supply of warm/hot water to make a bottle up quickly.

[gibbyfan]

There is a lot of great advice here. The biggest thing that I think that I went through was learning how to communicate with each other.. I personally hated the newborn stage. It is maddening to try and guess what the child needs after feeding and changing. I took the night shift while she slept. She would go to bed around 5PM and wake up around 1 AM when I went to bed. It all works out. Best Wishes

[Spoon]

congrats exciting and difficult times ahead but well worth it.

i wrote a similar post here with my daughter 4 years ago. she is now

4 and is bossing me around!

 

be kind and understanding with the wife. they have every right to be bitchy, cranky, loony and irrational

with all the breast feeding and lack of sleep. take the initiative..

 

when she asks if she's fat lie and say she is not! prepare for staying indoors for copious amounts of time.

get a ps4 and download lots of mini-series! food trip alone or with your wife lol.

 

i had lots of fun watching my kids grow, bad for golf but good for life.

 

congrats!