Nervous to Post but here goes anyways....

[Richardcabeeza]

There is 90% likelihood that no one will see this as I'll delete it before posting. If it does get posted, only then do I feel that it conveys what I'd like it to. So if you're reading this, hopefully you don't think less of someone with a true problem over a dozen year ago, and maybe will understand what Mr Eldrick Woods is going through.

 

15 years ago I was young, dumb, and etc. long story short I stopped a robbery in progress, but paid a small price physically and a very large price mentally-in the long run. At any rate I was injured in the process (standard "you should see the other guy" etc etc). I won the fight, and as far as I know the other guy is still rotting in prison. Hopefully so as he was not a person that anyone would want to call a friend. Ironic that he was probably "where" I was "headed".

 

Arriving at the ER afterwards my doctor was very accomadating. As in "hello good sir, I see you were injured getting that scumbag off the streets, what would you like?" I was hurting so of course I said I'd like to not be in pain. The kind MD was very happy to comply. To the tune of 120 Percocet tablets and an immediate injection of hydromorphone. The pills for, "You know, just in case it was lingering". Instructions were to "take 1-2 every 4 hours AS NEEDED". This is the second time I'd ever taken an opiate, the first time I'd had a compound fracture (much worse then what I had this time) of my left clavicle-seriously the bone was sticking out of the skin-and I was given 30 Tylenol 3's.

 

Halfway through the bottle I realized that I REALLY liked the way that I felt on them. Two of them on a empty stomach was at least as satisfying as, ahem, saying hi to the misses. Any of you that have ever had a pill problem know what I'm talking about. Full stomach versus empty was key when taking them. The start of a very big problem.

 

As always seems to happen, eventually the good time came to an end. I'd finished the bottle. Granted this was late 90's early 2000's and most Dr's were trained to keep those in pain out of it. So once I found out how easy it was to obtain this type of meds, the writing was certainly on the wall. I could walk into any Urgent Care and state that my sciatica was acting up and walk out of there with (at a minimum) 30 Vicodin. At a max I'd score 60 perc's and an IV (or IM) injection of a stronger med. let the good times roll, right?

 

The good times continued for a year or two. I never once had to go through withdrawals. If my supply was running thin I'd just hit up an urgent care center, or conversely my family doc. He was a once a month basis that was good for 60 Vicodin 7.5's. Towards the end of it I'd already hit up every urgent care in the area, and while very sympathetic at the time to pain concerns, once you became a frequent flyer, all bets were off. Docs (even the doc in the box variety) generally aren't stupid and even then would call you out on it if they thought that it was an issue. Once you had a history of pain related issues (read as drug seeking) they would often call you on it.

 

I won't go into a ton of gory details but will state that at some point in this I would literally go as far as breaking a bone in my foot with a hammer (right after taking the last of my stash) so that I'd have a legit need to get the magical medicine that these guys and gals would prescribe. Looking back at it, that's a pretty sure sign that I just might have had a problem. As in a very life changing and big problem.

 

Once most area doc's had me figured out, I was well beyond the salvage point. At this point I had access (mine, no I didn't rob anyone although I'll admit that I might have had circumstances been different) to a large amount of cash. Back then the going price for oxycodone was $1.00 per MG. No problem. Like I said I had access to a large amount of cash. The problems arose when one of two things happened. One, the people that I knew that would sell these things wasn't anywhere near what I needed at the time. Two, eventually the large amount of cash on hand went down significantly. Once this happened I made the jump. Heroin. It was by far cheaper and by far better. I will state that even back then there was strong stuff and weaker stuff but there was NOT Fentenyl and Carfentenyl in the supply. I'd be very dead otherwise.

 

Once I made that leap I was beyond conventional help. In less than two years I had turned from the law abiding guy that stopped a robbery to someone that may have been the robber had I been desperate enough. Luckily I guess I never got to that point. I was slamming heroin 4 times a day or so for about 6 months when my wife found out. She staged a full on intervention that would make that show proud. I was basically told that I would need to comply or her and my child would be gone. Ok. I was miserable by that point anyways. It was a rough 6 months or so, but I can tell you that once that was past I was better. All of my relapses were in that first 6 months. I've now been clean for over 12 years (on Father's Day every year to boot) and can now, finally, state that there is nothing that would make me go back to that.

 

All that stated, sure I have a past. Sure, I'm probably more sympathetic to that kind of thing than is average. As someone that has BTDT I've seen the same in Tiger for years. I seriously hope he gets his crap together because he is an all time great. I'm just an average Joe (or Richard, but I digress). With some level of help I was able to get my crap together.

 

I know that I'll probably be castigated for posting this, but I've been there. I know what he is feeling. It's tough as hell. I hope and pray he can find a way through it all. I'll be rooting for him as a person through all of it. If me and my meager (comparatively) means could find a light through the dark, Tiger can too.

 

Sorry for the length but I'm very passionate here. It's near and dear so I hope he can find a way. Feel free to bash me below. I was a mess back then. I'll never forget (nor fully forgive) myself getting into the situation that I was in. But if I could claw out, he certainly can.

 

 

[Richardcabeeza]

Sorry if you read all that. There is no "small book" forum.

[CommerceTiger]

I read all of it. Had a similar experience with my father and glad to say he is now clean.

 

Very glad to hear you got through it. I know it's not easy!

[devinh821]

First off I really hope this doesn't get deleted. And man I don't know you but I'm so proud of you for the things you have accomplished in your life. Man that raised me since I was 5 recently got hooked really bad on drugs and has never been able to recover. Haven't seen him in 2-3 years.

 

I hope and pray maybe one person reads your story and gets strength and hope from your battle and your victory!

 

Congrats man! I bet having a family makes it extra special on Father's Day!

[dan360]

There is 90% likelihood that no one will see this as I'll delete it before posting. If it does get posted, only then do I feel that it conveys what I'd like it to. So if you're reading this, hopefully you don't think less of someone with a true problem over a dozen year ago, and maybe will understand what Mr Eldrick Woods is going through.

 

15 years ago I was young, dumb, and etc. long story short I stopped a robbery in progress, but paid a small price physically and a very large price mentally-in the long run. At any rate I was injured in the process (standard "you should see the other guy" etc etc). I won the fight, and as far as I know the other guy is still rotting in prison. Hopefully so as he was not a person that anyone would want to call a friend. Ironic that he was probably "where" I was "headed".

 

Arriving at the ER afterwards my doctor was very accomadating. As in "hello good sir, I see you were injured getting that scumbag off the streets, what would you like?" I was hurting so of course I said I'd like to not be in pain. The kind MD was very happy to comply. To the tune of 120 Percocet tablets and an immediate injection of hydromorphone. The pills for, "You know, just in case it was lingering". Instructions were to "take 1-2 every 4 hours AS NEEDED". This is the second time I'd ever taken an opiate, the first time I'd had a compound fracture (much worse then what I had this time) of my left clavicle-seriously the bone was sticking out of the skin-and I was given 30 Tylenol 3's.

 

Halfway through the bottle I realized that I REALLY liked the way that I felt on them. Two of them on a empty stomach was at least as satisfying as, ahem, saying hi to the misses. Any of you that have ever had a pill problem know what I'm talking about. Full stomach versus empty was key when taking them. The start of a very big problem.

 

As always seems to happen, eventually the good time came to an end. I'd finished the bottle. Granted this was late 90's early 2000's and most Dr's were trained to keep those in pain out of it. So once I found out how easy it was to obtain this type of meds, the writing was certainly on the wall. I could walk into any Urgent Care and state that my sciatica was acting up and walk out of there with (at a minimum) 30 Vicodin. At a max I'd score 60 perc's and an IV (or IM) injection of a stronger med. let the good times roll, right?

 

The good times continued for a year or two. I never once had to go through withdrawals. If my supply was running thin I'd just hit up an urgent care center, or conversely my family doc. He was a once a month basis that was good for 60 Vicodin 7.5's. Towards the end of it I'd already hit up every urgent care in the area, and while very sympathetic at the time to pain concerns, once you became a frequent flyer, all bets were off. Docs (even the doc in the box variety) generally aren't stupid and even then would call you out on it if they thought that it was an issue. Once you had a history of pain related issues (read as drug seeking) they would often call you on it.

 

I won't go into a ton of gory details but will state that at some point in this I would literally go as far as breaking a bone in my foot with a hammer (right after taking the last of my stash) so that I'd have a legit need to get the magical medicine that these guys and gals would prescribe. Looking back at it, that's a pretty sure sign that I just might have had a problem. As in a very life changing and big problem.

 

Once most area doc's had me figured out, I was well beyond the salvage point. At this point I had access (mine, no I didn't rob anyone although I'll admit that I might have had circumstances been different) to a large amount of cash. Back then the going price for oxycodone was $1.00 per MG. No problem. Like I said I had access to a large amount of cash. The problems arose when one of two things happened. One, the people that I knew that would sell these things wasn't anywhere near what I needed at the time. Two, eventually the large amount of cash on hand went down significantly. Once this happened I made the jump. Heroin. It was by far cheaper and by far better. I will state that even back then there was strong stuff and weaker stuff but there was NOT Fentenyl and Carfentenyl in the supply. I'd be very dead otherwise.

 

Once I made that leap I was beyond conventional help. In less than two years I had turned from the law abiding guy that stopped a robbery to someone that may have been the robber had I been desperate enough. Luckily I guess I never got to that point. I was slamming heroin 4 times a day or so for about 6 months when my wife found out. She staged a full on intervention that would make that show proud. I was basically told that I would need to comply or her and my child would be gone. Ok. I was miserable by that point anyways. It was a rough 6 months or so, but I can tell you that once that was past I was better. All of my relapses were in that first 6 months. I've now been clean for over 12 years (on Father's Day every year to boot) and can now, finally, state that there is nothing that would make me go back to that.

 

All that stated, sure I have a past. Sure, I'm probably more sympathetic to that kind of thing than is average. As someone that has BTDT I've seen the same in Tiger for years. I seriously hope he gets his crap together because he is an all time great. I'm just an average Joe (or Richard, but I digress). With some level of help I was able to get my crap together.

 

I know that I'll probably be castigated for posting this, but I've been there. I know what he is feeling. It's tough as hell. I hope and pray he can find a way through it all. I'll be rooting for him as a person through all of it. If me and my meager (comparatively) means could find a light through the dark, Tiger can too.

 

Sorry for the length but I'm very passionate here. It's near and dear so I hope he can find a way. Feel free to bash me below. I was a mess back then. I'll never forget (nor fully forgive) myself getting into the situation that I was in. But if I could claw out, he certainly can.

 

Read it all. No reason to hate on you for any of it. The active ingredient in those pain meds can latch on and make it very difficult to let go. You found a way, and owe yourself and your wife a debt of gratitude.

 

So, go celebrate your 12 years and keep on keepin' on. It's too bad Tiger doesn't have a wife to help him out. Karma is a B....

[Wriggles]

I've never used any type of drugs, although I know how addiction can happen. Vicodin was prescribed for me a few (very few) times, for toothaches and back pain. Lucky to get 10 prescribed at a time.

 

Painkillers DO make you feel good. I can understand how someone can get "hooked on a feeling." I feel fortunate I never sought to obtain the stuff, beyond what was legitimately supplied.

 

I've learned through the years, sometimes things work out for the better, even if it is a rocky road, like yours.

 

Congratulations on your 12 years, and best wishes.

[tleader]

Congratulations and all the best. I work daily with individuals on similar paths and i commend you for your efforts personally, and publicly to tell your story.

[highergr0und]

Sorry to hear of what you went through.... and glad to hear you have pulled through!!!! We better not see anyone tearing you apart. Lot of folks on this site love to bash folks from way up on their high horses, not realizing that the higher you go up, the higher you fall!!

[chickenpotpie]

Everyone has a story. I don't think anyone wakes up one day and thinks,"I'm going to become a drug addict today." It just happens, and I've seen it firsthand as well. Thanks for sharing this, and well done by you to kick the habit.

[baddomes]

You guys should try Dilaudid. I had it for surgeries. I think Lindsay Lohan went to rehab for it, so you know it's great.

[Thrillhouse]

I don't know why you would think you'd get castigated for posting this. People have their battles, and the vast vast majority of those people are just regular people who got caught up in something and once caught up they found it hard to get off the train. I think more people understand this than not.

 

Congratulations on your sobriety!

[Richardcabeeza]

I don't know why you would think you'd get castigated for posting this. People have their battles, and the vast vast majority of those people are just regular people who got caught up in something and once caught up they found it hard to get off the train. I think more people understand this than not.

 

Congratulations on your sobriety!

 

Thanks (to you and all for the kind words). I guess the reason is that I look back at it in shame. I was a mess. I'm proud of where I am now but very ashamed that I let myself get to that point. I'd love to believe that I was a stronger person than that but real life tells me that I'm not. I have no desire to ever be there again, but I know to keep from getting there that I have to watch myself. I've had a major and minor surgery done since then and it really sucks to know that you are better off refusing everything (other than what puts you out for it) afterwards and having a couple hell filled days then to even risk it. To risk it might mean a hell filled life. No thanks. Literally the only reason that I would ever take something again would be in a hospice type setting. At that point your just trying to go as peacefully as possible with no concern for getting clean after. Even 12 years in I don't trust myself. Wicked way to go through life but it can be so very much worse.

 

Again thanks all for the kind words. I'm very thankful to be where I am (and alive-this tainted stuff that is out there now is no joke-you have an extremely short life expectancy now if you are hooked). I hope that everyone lost can find their way. I for certain hope Tiger can get help. He was the best golfer on the planet for a long time. Even if that day is past, I hope he can be the best Tiger Woods that he can be.

[Richardcabeeza]

You guys should try Dilaudid. I had it for surgeries. I think Lindsay Lohan went to rehab for it, so you know it's great.

 

Not really helpful (lol!). 12 years in I still get triggered thinking about that stuff. Bees knees, etc etc. This is actually when my doctor realized I had a serious issue. I was in the hospital (I'll add legitimately at least this time) for a super painful issue. She made the comment to me that I was taking two times as much Diluadid as her other patient, whom she stated was dying of cancer. Yeah. I guess this will also go to show how easy it was to get stuff back then was. Even her knowing this she still would prescribe me the same meds each month. The only think that changed was she would then either write on the Rx or tell me (I forget which) when the next time I could get it filled was. Prior to this I'd just visit and walk out with an Rx.

 

At any rate Diluadid was on par with Heroin. I won't say it was better because I was never able to control how much of it I got. I've no idea if it still is the same but back then that was the standard drug in ER's for pain. I once got a shot of it just for showing up. This I kid you not on. I literally walked in for a legitimate reason and without complaining of anything painful. I wasn't hooked yet at this point, so I wasn't seeking it. I told the doc thanks, I think. Not sure if orders got mixed up or what.

[hammy83]

Unfortunately your story is too common. Fortunately you were able to too what most can not. You should be proud of what you were able to over come. I tired cocaine twice and I loved the experience so much I vow to never touch it again. Plus the chances that it can contain fentanyl now also scares the crap out of me. Stories like yours inspire me to not try new drugs. My current vice (alcohol) is bad enough.

I hope you had a happy fathers day and realize stories like yours can help others to avoid making similar choices.

[ritz0019]

Very happy to hear you were able to overcome this. I applaud your strength, commitment and determination to do so. No way we would bash you man! Enjoy your life buddy!!

[SixtySomePing]

Your story is a testimony to success not failure. Your reason for wanting to share what you've been through shows that your heart is in the right place, and you have hope and a positive future ahead of you. Life's interesting in that sometimes we have to climb a mountain in order to see just how deep in the valley we were. Most of us have been in some kind of valley in one way or another. Seemingly some deeper than others, but those who are able to get out like you end up being the ones who enjoy life the most once they are out. Good for you, keep at it, there's so much for you to live for and enjoy, and thanks for sharing your story, by posting hopefully it was a positive experience for you and all of us...

[BishopBreaking80]

Richard,

 

Congratulations on your sobriety. I'm very happy to read that you found the motivating force to keep you sober, and also found the power to confront that demon. There are a great number of people who aren't willing to take the time and dedicate the energy to following that path of great resistance.

 

As a former addict myself (Cocaine), I know all too well the desires that hit you. My best friend has also come to terms with his Opioid addition after a battle of a number of years (he's been sober for a year now, after his wife staged a very similar intervention), and it appears that my brother is on the losing end of a battle with alcoholism.

 

Your story is an inspiration, and I also hope that TW is willing to put in the time and energy to beat his addition. There may be naysayers who will chastise him, but many don't understand the pain and anguish which is inflicted on friends and family until they've experienced it personally.

 

Wishing you well, and thank you for having the courage to tell your story.

 

-Bishop

[OsnolaKinnard]

A few years ago, I had some issues and had some severe pain to deal with. The doctor gave me Oxycotin...I took the pills for 2 days and to say I liked it, would be an understatement. I told my wife to flush the rest down the toilet and ask for something else. I was given Tylenol-3 with codeine, and it worked...and did not have the same euphoric feeling that Oxy did.

 

I knew if I kept taking them, I would be on a bad road.

[ode1]

Nice to hear someone with compassion for TW!

[kaylor3435]

I'm proud of you man! I'm 3 years clean, and mine started with me breaking my ankle 13 years ago in football. Used for nearly 10 years and probably shouldn't even be alive anymore. But by the grace of God I am, happily married, good career, beautiful little boy ( he's 2, and going to be a monster in whatever he plans to do, I can already tell), and clean. Reminds me everyday that anything is possible with a little bit of hardwork and dedication.

[Man_O_War]

get well. Thanks for sharing. It is so easy to legally get sucked into med abuse and before you know it, you have a serious problem beyond your ability to cope. The good news is there have been Congressional hearings and all kinds of out reach to help essentially "normal" middle class people fallen under this spell. When crack, PCP and horrid drugs like that took over ghettoes in the US, they were on their own...slammed with long sentences with no help and only ridicule from the larger society. I have known of so many people who have succumbed and lost their lives to drugs..illicit and Iegal alike. It's shame. A waste. I for one am happy you are mending. Good luck..and good luck to all of us seeing as it is so easy to fall into this trap.

[Richardcabeeza]

I'm proud of you man! I'm 3 years clean, and mine started with me breaking my ankle 13 years ago in football. Used for nearly 10 years and probably shouldn't even be alive anymore. But by the grace of God I am, happily married, good career, beautiful little boy ( he's 2, and going to be a monster in whatever he plans to do, I can already tell), and clean. Reminds me everyday that anything is possible with a little bit of hardwork and dedication.

 

Congrats on three years. My motivation for change was my kids also. I have three great ones. My oldest two are now 13, and 12. Last summer I took them outside and built a big bonfire in the back yard and told them my story. That was almost as hard as getting clean in the first place. I found them very accepting and understanding, so when that day comes for you don't fear it! Of course they never had to put up with me as a using addict so there's a lot more understanding and sympathy from them than my wife.

 

The main reason that I wanted to have that talk with them, I knew that when I was their age that I started to get curious about drugs and their effects and they're starting to get exposed to them to a very minor level. I wanted them to know that addiction can be hereditary and to warn them of the dangers and the slippery slope of pain pills. I also wanted them to know that if they somehow failed that advice and got themselves into a jam that they didn't feel they could get out of (at ANY point in their lives) that I could be a resource for them to use. It was a very tough subject for me to bring up with them, probably the hardest subject I've ever had to bring up with anyone, but I shouldn't have feared it so much. So when that day comes for you, don't be afraid of it. Have that talk. It won't be as difficult as you'd imagine it.

[Richardcabeeza]

get well. Thanks for sharing. It is so easy to legally get sucked into med abuse and before you know it, you have a serious problem beyond your ability to cope. The good news is there have been Congressional hearings and all kinds of out reach to help essentially "normal" middle class people fallen under this spell. When crack, PCP and horrid drugs like that took over ghettoes in the US, they were on their own...slammed with long sentences with no help and only ridicule from the larger society. I have known of so many people who have succumbed and lost their lives to drugs..illicit and Iegal alike. It's shame. A waste. I for one am happy you are mending. Good luck..and good luck to all of us seeing as it is so easy to fall into this trap.

 

Thanks. I can assure you that I'm as well as is possible though. Over 12 years into this there is no chance of me going back. As long as it's not in a hospice type setting where there is no danger of addiction since I'd be dead before it was an issue anyways, I flat out REFUSE opioids. That isn't going to change. I've had two surgeries on my back, one major and one minor, and I've refused post op pain meds because I don't trust myself if I get a taste of it. My doc is very supportive of this and does what he can to help me manage this by telling me the best non narcotic ways to deal with serious pain. He visited me in the hospital after the major procedure and told me that I should take something for a day or two. That was probably the closest I've come to using an opioid though. My doc, knowing my history, was telling me to do so. It was a couple days of hell followed by a week or two in purgatory. I hope I don't have to ever go through that again or be faced with that decision. Like I said, I will only entertain the option if a hospice doc is prescribing it. At that point who cares if you die addicted? I also get kidney stones on a regular basis (thanks to whomever decided that one!!? :)) and they are awful. I wish I could trust myself but I just don't. I'll never be able to. I had my chance to be a normal person that could use those meds when needed. I blew it. I'd probably blow it again. So until/unless I'm terminal there is no way I will use them. When I recover from a painful condition I want to be me. Not the active addict me, but the me of the last 12+ years. Accepting even one dose could set a slippery slope that I can not ever go down again. If I trusted myself I'd say yes. I don't. I know me by this point and I just can't do it.

[Man_O_War]

get well. Thanks for sharing. It is so easy to legally get sucked into med abuse and before you know it, you have a serious problem beyond your ability to cope. The good news is there have been Congressional hearings and all kinds of out reach to help essentially "normal" middle class people fallen under this spell. When crack, PCP and horrid drugs like that took over ghettoes in the US, they were on their own...slammed with long sentences with no help and only ridicule from the larger society. I have known of so many people who have succumbed and lost their lives to drugs..illicit and Iegal alike. It's shame. A waste. I for one am happy you are mending. Good luck..and good luck to all of us seeing as it is so easy to fall into this trap.

 

Thanks. I can assure you that I'm as well as is possible though. Over 12 years into this there is no chance of me going back. As long as it's not in a hospice type setting where there is no danger of addiction since I'd be dead before it was an issue anyways, I flat out REFUSE opioids. That isn't going to change. I've had two surgeries on my back, one major and one minor, and I've refused post op pain meds because I don't trust myself if I get a taste of it. My doc is very supportive of this and does what he can to help me manage this by telling me the best non narcotic ways to deal with serious pain. He visited me in the hospital after the major procedure and told me that I should take something for a day or two. That was probably the closest I've come to using an opioid though. My doc, knowing my history, was telling me to do so. It was a couple days of hell followed by a week or two in purgatory. I hope I don't have to ever go through that again or be faced with that decision. Like I said, I will only entertain the option if a hospice doc is prescribing it. At that point who cares if you die addicted? I also get kidney stones on a regular basis (thanks to whomever decided that one!!? :)) and they are awful. I wish I could trust myself but I just don't. I'll never be able to. I had my chance to be a normal person that could use those meds when needed. I blew it. I'd probably blow it again. So until/unless I'm terminal there is no way I will use them. When I recover from a painful condition I want to be me. Not the active addict me, but the me of the last 12+ years. Accepting even one dose could set a slippery slope that I can not ever go down again. If I trusted myself I'd say yes. I don't. I know me by this point and I just can't do it.

 

 

Stay strong!!!

[Go_Blue!]

Richard,

 

Congrats on your sobriety. That is something to be very proud of. I have seen this first hand, and unfortunately lost a family member to addiction. I have seen how much this hurts the ones who care about you just as much. Your success should be read by anyone who has dealt, or is dealing, with the same. Your story is inspirational and something you should be very proud of. I am sure your family feels the same.

[Kaysquare]

I admire you for writing that here. It takes a real man (or woman) to own up & admit doing dumb things. Truth be known, I doubt there's anyone who hasn't done some things they are definitely not proud of. But you worked thru it, & survived. I was always a Tiger fan, & wish him nothing but the best in his quest to get clean & deal with his demons. Who among us has not had a demon or two? Tiger's life has been under a microscope....not an easy situation for anyone. And Tiger had the extra-added pressure with the racist thing I'm sure. He's lucky he has the resources to get the best of help with his problems.

Best wishes to you......enjoy your golf, it's very therapeutic! :taunt:

[Richardcabeeza]

I admire you for writing that here. It takes a real man (or woman) to own up & admit doing dumb things. Truth be known, I doubt there's anyone who hasn't done some things they are definitely not proud of. But you worked thru it, & survived. I was always a Tiger fan, & wish him nothing but the best in his quest to get clean & deal with his demons. Who among us has not had a demon or two? Tiger's life has been under a microscope....not an easy situation for anyone. And Tiger had the extra-added pressure with the racist thing I'm sure. He's lucky he has the resources to get the best of help with his problems.

Best wishes to you......enjoy your golf, it's very therapeutic! :taunt:

 

I try to be a "real man" in all that I do. The hardest, by far, part of that is admitting my shortcomings. I might be a good person, but I'll never be a great man. I know my hearts always in the right place but my mind is always threatening to jump off a cliff. Life is a game at times. I've been better at this game of life for the last 12 years than I was before. That's what matters to me. On this forum I'd love to credit golf for being what made me right, but it's not. I picked it up again after a ten year or so hiatus 4 summers ago. When I left it I was good but didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I won an AM event that wasn't exactly filled with the best competition, as in I shot a (at the time) career best one under par, and I won by 8 strokes. Not exactly top flight competition.

 

Life happened and I became an opiate fiend. Clean almost ten years at the time I decided to go golfing again. I had no expectations going in and hit a horrid drive on one. My second ends up just off the green and I chip in. One under. Good deal but 17 to go. I played the rest of the nine without much excitement other than keeping it close to par and driving the uphill par 4 8th. I reached ten with a score of two over (I'll take it!) and warmed up. The par 4 tenth was 267 yards uphill. I hit a cut drive that tracked right at the hole. Long story short I found my ball in the cup and ended up 18 one under. I was hooked (finally! Something healthy!). I now play all the time and am raising my kids to respect and play the game. One of my kids has a propensity to the sport. He's good and I'll be at his side when he takes it to the next level in two years. Im now a plus player, don't ask me how but when the email came I must embrace it. His short game is better than mine already. If he doesn't get all gangly he'll be pretty good. He's already sniffing par at a full course around 6k yard. This is hitting hybrid or FW into most par 4's. Once he can smack a golf ball he'll be golden.

 

Long story short, I love where I'm at and I love this game. My kids are all in. One of them isn't too far from beating me. He drives it 200 at max. Once those start sneaking past that far out he'll beat me. I'm good with that.

[Bomber_11]

Man I went into the ER for Kidney Stones about 6 weeks ago, vomiting and falling over in pain. The nurse loaded me up on Morphine and I didn't have a care in the world. I can see how easily (especially anyone in chronic pain) could pursue that feeling over and over.

 

I also got a prescription of Percocet on top of my refrigerator at home in case I ever get another kidney stone. No real interest in taking any of them for non-kidney stone related issues though.

 

I did almost get hooked on smoking weed in college. Did it about a dozen times out golfing with the boys, then one day I felt like I needed to go get high again. Never touched any drug from that day forward.

 

Congrats on your sobriety! Enjoyed reading your story.

[Gamble Gamble]

This is the most positive thing I've read on this forum. You legitimately beat the "life shanks!"

 

Brain chemistry negative feedback loops are almost impossible to escape from but you are living proof that through the power of will someone can course-correct. Congratulations on your path and keep fighting to increase that year total.

 

 

[Richardcabeeza]

Man I went into the ER for Kidney Stones about 6 weeks ago, vomiting and falling over in pain. The nurse loaded me up on Morphine and I didn't have a care in the world. I can see how easily (especially anyone in chronic pain) could pursue that feeling over and over.

 

I also got a prescription of Percocet on top of my refrigerator at home in case I ever get another kidney stone. No real interest in taking any of them for non-kidney stone related issues though.

 

I did almost get hooked on smoking weed in college. Did it about a dozen times out golfing with the boys, then one day I felt like I needed to go get high again. Never touched any drug from that day forward.

 

Congrats on your sobriety! Enjoyed reading your story.

 

I feel your pain man (seriously-I get them about every six months). The first one I got my doc gave me a handout that stated the they were "The Most Painful Thing That It's Possible To Live Through". Thanks to my poor decisions in the past I get to face them without opioids. Good times. Not!!!!