Joining a private club...advice?

[GooseHook]

8 hours ago, Abh159 said:

 

Great point here! I was aware of the tournament fees before I joined my club so I knew what I was getting into, but for people not used to that it can sneak up on you pretty quickly. $300 here, $500 there, and so on throughout the year. Fortunately, my club at least makes all the tournaments "all inclusive" so you just pay the one fee and then it's unlimited food, drinks, etc.

 

I wish my club had a "season ticket". Something like that would have saved me thousands over the years!

 

 

Every club is different but its stuff that guys really need to ask about if they're on the fence. It can really drive your bills up unexpectedly. 

 

Most clubs are not transparent about these added fees unless you flat out ask. 

[me05501]

On 9/24/2021 at 5:11 PM, GooseHook said:

 

 

Every club is different but its stuff that guys really need to ask about if they're on the fence. It can really drive your bills up unexpectedly. 

 

Most clubs are not transparent about these added fees unless you flat out ask. 

 

Yep. 

 

Also: when you invite people to play in member/guest events, all else being equal, it's smarter to ask someone who belongs at a different club so you have a chance at some reciprocation (whether it's an invite to their similar event or a round or two on them). 

[Roody]

17 hours ago, me05501 said:

 

Yep. 

 

Also: when you invite people to play in member/guest events, all else being equal, it's smarter to ask someone who belongs at a different club so you have a chance at some reciprocation (whether it's an invite to their similar event or a round or two on them). 

 

What I usually do when I invite friends out to play in guest days is one of a couple things:

 

- Tell them to cover X amount (usually half the entry fee, or sometimes just a portion of that even), and then I cover all extra betting, drinks, etc. 

- I cover 100%, but they agree to take me out for a round elsewhere at a later time. And it doesn't matter if they're a member at another club or not, and I don't care about getting an "equal value" trade. 

 

 

 

[cristphoto]

I tend to go with your second item.  If I invite someone, I'm paying for the golf 100%.  Guys that tend to reciprocate move up the list.

[ND2005]

3 hours ago, cristphoto said:

I tend to go with your second item.  If I invite someone, I'm paying for the golf 100%.  Guys that tend to reciprocate move up the list.

 

Agreed I thought that was near universal etiquette. If I invite someone to a member-guest it's on me. 

 

 

[me05501]

37 minutes ago, ND2005 said:

 

Agreed I thought that was near universal etiquette. If I invite someone to a member-guest it's on me. 

 

 

 

For older, more established folks it definitely is, but I wouldn't blame a 30-year old guy from asking his buddy to chip in on the cost. 

[golfortennis]

25 minutes ago, me05501 said:

 

For older, more established folks it definitely is, but I wouldn't blame a 30-year old guy from asking his buddy to chip in on the cost. 

 

I agree, but I think it's all in how things are presented.  Depending on the person, I may say "yeah come on out, our guest fee is $xx,"  if it's someone I'll bring out but not at the point where I would pick up their tab.  I do have some buddies who insist on paying even when I say I don't want their money.  

 

But I think it's all in the initial discussion.  

 

Although I also wonder if this thread doesn't risk turning into a "I throw the guy $5 even if I don't want him 'cleaning' my clubs" type of brag thread.  "Yeah I pick up everyone's tab."   

[ND2005]

58 minutes ago, golfortennis said:

 

I agree, but I think it's all in how things are presented.  Depending on the person, I may say "yeah come on out, our guest fee is $xx,"  if it's someone I'll bring out but not at the point where I would pick up their tab.  I do have some buddies who insist on paying even when I say I don't want their money.  

 

But I think it's all in the initial discussion.  

 

Although I also wonder if this thread doesn't risk turning into a "I throw the guy $5 even if I don't want him 'cleaning' my clubs" type of brag thread.  "Yeah I pick up everyone's tab."   

I’m not saying pick up everyone’s tab I’m specifically talking about a member guest tournament. I always thought the etiquette here was that the member pays for the guests entry fee/event fee - either out of friendship, hopes of reciprocity, or building a business relationship with a potential client. 
 

 

[golfortennis]

2 hours ago, ND2005 said:

I’m not saying pick up everyone’s tab I’m specifically talking about a member guest tournament. I always thought the etiquette here was that the member pays for the guests entry fee/event fee - either out of friendship, hopes of reciprocity, or building a business relationship with a potential client. 
 

 

 

Oh, I wasn't talking about you specifically.  There are just some guys who seem to be able to tip everyone in sight, hence the comment.  I wasn't clear I was referencing rounds in general, so that is my bad.  

 

Yeah Member/Guest can be a tough one.  I've never really understood why it's considered such a big event at clubs, but it is. So yeah it's a question of where you want to go with it.  There are stories of guys who bring in a ringer cause they want to win it real bad.  Tab should definitely be picked up given the guy is basically a hired gun.  Yeah you're probably right about the MG etiquette.  Unless a specific convo was had, it would be an awkward thing to ask for a share of the fee.  

 

Although does that mean member gets all prizes?  🤪  

[Roody]

I am not sure that there's any "wrong" way to do it, it seems to me whatever way is agreed upon by the two parties in the transaction is fine. Before I was a member at my own club I've had other friends invite me out to their invitationals, and every time I've paid my half of the entry fee while they usually pick up the tab on the extras. Now that I'm a member somewhere, it's usually just a trade if they also belong somewhere. 

 

 

 

 

[Private_Pins_Golf]

On 5/27/2021 at 8:55 PM, ruascott said:

If they have a men's league night,  definitely get involved with that right away.  That will quickly get you playing with a variety of members and usually a social element post- round.  

I have found this to be the best way for new members to meet people at their club. In the case of my country club, you and your partner are socializing with a bare minimum 2 new members each week, plus the dinners afterward are just one big hangout. As soon as you mention you are new, for the most part, the guys you are playing against will introduce you to some of their friends at the dinner. This is one of the main reasons I as happy my club incorporated a meal after league each week!

[WRX8802]

Here's my advice on integrating into a new club:

- go out of your way to spend time there 

- be outgoing (if you're a member for six months and don't have any friends, people will think there is a reason)

- sign up for events--not just golf events, but bourbon tastings, pre-fixed dinners, whatever the club is offering (this is the easiest way to meet members)

- ask the people you meet if they have a regular game and ask them to play golf.  You don't need to ask to play in their game.  If you ask them to play with you, they will likely offer to include you in their game.

- talk to the caddies and pro shop about games (there will be several, and they can help you navigate them)

- bring cash and be ready to play for it

- keep an eye out for club politics.  There may be a group that you do not necessarily want to be included in for whatever reason. 

- if you have not met them through your admissions process, introduce yourself to the board members 

- have fun.  That's why you joined in the first place. 

 

[Bonneville85308]

On 9/30/2021 at 4:30 AM, Private_Pins_Golf said:

I have found this to be the best way for new members to meet people at their club. In the case of my country club, you and your partner are socializing with a bare minimum 2 new members each week, plus the dinners afterward are just one big hangout. As soon as you mention you are new, for the most part, the guys you are playing against will introduce you to some of their friends at the dinner. This is one of the main reasons I as happy my club incorporated a meal after league each week!

 

Yeah league nights were always great for me to meet fellow members when I was new. It was customary at my last club that most people stuck around for dinner/drinks afterwards (the club put out a good buffet for a cheap price that was ready to eat when everyone came in from the league shotgun) and you would usually sit with the people you played with and possibly another team or two.

[dokex]

When I worked at a private club in the 90s, I was starting on a Sat morning. A new member came up and asked to be put in a group. There was a threesome on the tee, so I took him down and introduced him to the members. Without a word, the three members put their drivers back in their bags, and drove back to the clubhouse. They refused to play with the new member. Oh, did I mention that the new member was black? And that the three members were bigots?

[Mullenboy]

On 10/13/2021 at 8:56 AM, WRX8802 said:

Here's my advice on integrating into a new club:

- go out of your way to spend time there 

- be outgoing (if you're a member for six months and don't have any friends, people will think there is a reason)

- sign up for events--not just golf events, but bourbon tastings, pre-fixed dinners, whatever the club is offering (this is the easiest way to meet members)

- ask the people you meet if they have a regular game and ask them to play golf.  You don't need to ask to play in their game.  If you ask them to play with you, they will likely offer to include you in their game.

- talk to the caddies and pro shop about games (there will be several, and they can help you navigate them)

- bring cash and be ready to play for it

- keep an eye out for club politics.  There may be a group that you do not necessarily want to be included in for whatever reason. 

- if you have not met them through your admissions process, introduce yourself to the board members 

- have fun.  That's why you joined in the first place. 

 

All of this is 100% dead right on.  Follow this advice.

[j.b.newton]

what if you are not a gambler but want to play in some of the better rounds?  Wont get in to details but a personal decision not to wager, but always afraid of the response when I join a group and say - no im not betting.

[david.c.w]

15 hours ago, j.b.newton said:

what if you are not a gambler but want to play in some of the better rounds?  Wont get in to details but a personal decision not to wager, but always afraid of the response when I join a group and say - no im not betting.

 

Every club will have a mix, and you just need to find your sweet spot.  Our club has the Saturday morning 5 man wolf game of sub 7 handicaps.  Exposure is ~$100 max if you are on the wrong end of bets.  Most of the other groups are $20 entry and pays out for winning teams, birdies, skins, trash, etc.  I am not sure if you consider this gambling or not.  I don't as there is no way for the betting to get out of control, unless you consider a $5 press out of control.

 

And then there are always groups that don't bet.  Just need to find them.

 

I have been to other clubs where there can be thousands on the line.  I played "banker" earlier this year and had to sink a 15 foot birdie putt on 18 to only lose $150.  That was too rich for my blood.

[ssf301]

On 10/19/2021 at 5:39 PM, j.b.newton said:

what if you are not a gambler but want to play in some of the better rounds?  Wont get in to details but a personal decision not to wager, but always afraid of the response when I join a group and say - no im not betting.

 

At my club there are several different groups of good players I can play with.  Max out of pocket for a round is anywhere from $0 to $20k for the wagers.  I would not try to play in a betting game if you aren't betting.  It makes things awkward.  There should be a few good games available where $$ don't change hands.  I have one group that I play with regularly (low handicaps) that play for bragging rights only.  It's competitive and I enjoy it.

 

One thing I will say, if you can get into a regular game with people of similar skill levels, you tend to not be out much $$ over time no matter how big the bets are.  Over a couple dozen rounds, the $$ should even out.  

 

If there is a big disparity in skill level, it often doesn't work.  Too much temptation to manipulate handicaps.  I won't play in a bigger $$ game when there are a lot of strokes given either way.  It's just the way I feel about it.  YMMV