Joining a private club...advice?

[greeenjoseph]

I'm in the process of joining a private club for the first time and I'm really excited about it.  I'm 34 and my I've never had the money to join one until now.   I'm a 13 handicap and I've gotten better playing once/week over the last couple years but I plan to play a lot more moving forward and continue improving.  My only fear is that it will be difficult and awkward to make friends and find regular playing partners.  I have a couple buddies (more like acquaintances than close friends) that were happy to sponsor me and guide me through the membership process, but they've both been members for quite a while and have established groups that they play with on weekend mornings and in tournaments.  My sponsors, the membership director, and committee that I interviewed with all said that new members find it easy to integrate and there are lots of opportunities to meet people but I guess you never really know until you experience it.  I've always been a likable guy and I plan to take advantage of all the opportunities the club gives me to mingle.  

 

Any advice from others who have been in a similar situation?  Thank you.

[klebs01]

I’ve joined a couple clubs and have generally found it easy to meet people at the new club. Doesn’t mean it happens on day one, so be patient. I have tried to play with as many groups as I can in the beginning, play alone if I don’t have a group and be open to joining one on the course, and play in all the events I can. This provides a lot of opportunities to meet people and find out which groups are a good match.  You also have a couple friends, the director and the pro that should all help introduce you to groups that would be a good fit. 

[golfandfishing]

My experience is from “behind the counter” but new members have always been welcome and settle into a group or clique pretty easily if they want to. Play in events, play in the weekend choose/skins/whatever, Friday afternoon money game, whatever you can. Stick around afterwards and have drinks, food, shoot the shi....  You’ll feel like a life member in no time. 

[Abh159]

The best advice I can give is to ask the Pro if there are any groups/games (around your same skill level) that welcome new players. They'll typically be able to get you involved in a group or at the very least introduce you to a few people. Make sure to sign up for the club events (club championship and others) as well. Those are a great way to meet people you might not already know. 

 

Also, like @golfandfishing mentioned if you do get involved in some groups early on make sure to hang out after you finish and have a few drinks, lunch, etc. You don't want to develop the reputation of the guy that is only "allowed" to be on the course for a few hours before he has to rush out. 

 

The one thing I would advise you not to do is to just start asking random people on the range or putting green if you can join them. I've seen new members try to do this a few times at my club and it always makes for an awkward moment. 

[david.c.w]

What everyone else has said is on point.  Don't expect to play in the 9:00 Saturday group your first weekend (unless there is a general signup).  Play with your sponsor.  Hang around.  Be fun.  The games and the groups will happen organically over time.  You will meet more of your sponsors friends and then someone will add you to the group text or email chain.  It happens organically just like changing jobs or moving houses.  On day 1 you don't know anyone, but a few months in you know everyone.

 

Enjoy.  Club life is a good life. 

 

[cristphoto]

Over my lifetime I've joined two clubs.  The first set me up with a courtesy round with three members.  After playing I said to myself,  "These are decent guys I can play with".  From there once I joined I was introduced to other players. Never a problem fitting in or meeting people. At my current club I was offered a courtesy 9-hole round with the membership director (ex PGA). What I took from that round was the course was easily walkable (an issue if you're retired and like to play multiple days a week).  He introduced me to the Senior Men's Group which took me in right away.  At both clubs it was easy blending right in, no sense of snootiness at all. In the end its a social atmosphere. 

[ruascott]

If they have a men's league night,  definitely get involved with that right away.  That will quickly get you playing with a variety of members and usually a social element post- round.  

[eagle2838]

Find whoever makes the games (pro, locker room guy, caddy master, starter, someone else...) and let them know what time of day you typically like to play and that you'd like to join some groups. I'm sure you aren't the first new member they have ever had and usually there is a pretty standard process for helping new members meet others. That's part of why you're joining a club, trust the system and enjoy! 

[MikekiM]

Talk to the guys in the pro shop.  They're usually really good at finding matches to play with, and good people that you'd likely mesh well with and get along with.

 

[danglingangler]

I joined my first club last spring and they were starting up a “Thirsty Thursday” 9 hole scramble. It was open to all members. 
 

Everyone signed up throws in $20 and reports their handicaps. Team captains pick teams accordingly and the winning team takes the pot. 
 

It’s a great way to meet different members because it’s likely that every Thursday you will be on a team with different people. 

[me05501]

Good advice so far. 

My advice is this: expect your monthly bill to average about twice the amount of your base dues. 
 

I think a lot of guys join a club with $400 monthly dues and expect their bill to be reasonably close to that number. Set your expectations at 2x and enjoy yourself. 

[charli]

Play fast, fix your divots/ball marks and play in everything.

[BdubBoston]

21 hours ago, me05501 said:

My advice is this: expect your monthly bill to average about twice the amount of your base dues. 
 

I think a lot of guys join a club with $400 monthly dues and expect their bill to be reasonably close to that number. Set your expectations at 2x and enjoy yourself. 

 

Hah this for sure. My wife's reaction this month was "I think you have a problem...."

 

As other said, play the tournaments, member-members, etc. Pro shop can usually set you up with a partner for a member-member if you don't know anyone. Our weekly Friday cash game only allows single or two-some sign ups, so the pro shop can make pairings and it's not always the same group. Great way to meet people.

 

At my club our tee sheet is open within our member portal, and it's generally acceptable to throw yourself into any open spot. If your club is similar just do it--even the folks you might not want to play with often are good to get to know.

 

My in-laws were at the club before me, and for a couple weeks when I was a new member I hung close to them. Once I had the lay of the land, and because I'm a golf junkie, I just threw on the sheet and played all the time. Now I know everyone, really feel like it's my second home, and am having a great time. 

 

The nice thing about most clubs is there is some sort of vetting process, and generally everyone's in a similar-ish socio-economic bracket. You'll have some pompous folks, some DBs, some weird cliques etc., but in my experience the vast majority of guys are just there to play golf and unwind with other like-minded folks.

[TheGuywiththeWhiteBelt]

Get involved with the mens group early and take advantage of the games and scheduled tournaments and events. Great way to meet other members to grow your network. 

[Roody]

On 7/11/2021 at 3:14 PM, me05501 said:

My advice is this: expect your monthly bill to average about twice the amount of your base dues. 
 

I think a lot of guys join a club with $400 monthly dues and expect their bill to be reasonably close to that number. Set your expectations at 2x and enjoy yourself. 

 

And if your wife ends up using the club as much as mine does, take that amount and double it again. Between the two of us, we're over at our club at least 4-5 days a week. She plays in her league on Tuesdays, I play in mine on Thursdays. I'm usually there on men's day on Wednesdays, and we're both playing together on weekends. Most rounds don't end with turning the clubs over to the bag boys and going home. It's usually drinks, lunch/dinner afterwards. 

Then throw in tournaments, couples scotches, pro shop purchases. It adds up fast. 

[tiderider]

On 5/26/2021 at 8:01 PM, greeenjoseph said:

I'm in the process of joining a private club for the first time and I'm really excited about it.  I'm 34 and my I've never had the money to join one until now.   I'm a 13 handicap and I've gotten better playing once/week over the last couple years but I plan to play a lot more moving forward and continue improving.  My only fear is that it will be difficult and awkward to make friends and find regular playing partners.  I have a couple buddies (more like acquaintances than close friends) that were happy to sponsor me and guide me through the membership process, but they've both been members for quite a while and have established groups that they play with on weekend mornings and in tournaments.  My sponsors, the membership director, and committee that I interviewed with all said that new members find it easy to integrate and there are lots of opportunities to meet people but I guess you never really know until you experience it.  I've always been a likable guy and I plan to take advantage of all the opportunities the club gives me to mingle.  

 

Any advice from others who have been in a similar situation?  Thank you.

try to emulate this guy ... 

 

 

[Bonneville85308]

On 7/11/2021 at 12:14 PM, me05501 said:

Good advice so far. 

My advice is this: expect your monthly bill to average about twice the amount of your base dues. 
 

I think a lot of guys join a club with $400 monthly dues and expect their bill to be reasonably close to that number. Set your expectations at 2x and enjoy yourself. 

 

Agree 100%. Even if you aren't much of a drinker and don't spend much beyond the food minimum, there will still be cart fees, tournament entry fees, tips, guest fees, assessments, etc. that will take you well beyond the base monthly dues.

 

I did justify the F&B costs by recognizing that those charges at the club were money that I otherwise would have spent at other local restaurants anyway, and it was just shifting the expense to the club. 

[2bGood]

Play events as this is a great way to meet people and be sure to ask questions after the round to people that have been members for awhile. Golf Clubs are full of guys who love to tell stories and share their opinions and BS a bit. Tap into that and ask about the unwritten rules of the club etc and you going to get more info that you ever need (be sure to decide for yourself what is useful or not). Maybe a few things to ask about:

• Money games to avoid or be in - at our club you can play for $0 or $2000ish in a round. If you want to play for $0 and you join up with a big money group you will be a 5th wheel so it is good to know that. They will be nice to you, but it will be a bit awkward. 
• 'Underground' events. Most clubs have ongoing match play leagues, skins games or other events of some kind that or organised by members off the books. Getting involved in the right one(s) is a great way to meet people.
• Unique Club Etiquette to know about. An example for us (not sure if it is unique) if you win match you buy the loser a drink. Does not matter if is was money match or not - you buy a drink. If you have to rush off after the match - you still buy the drink (you don't have to stay for the drink, but you HAVE to buy it). At our club it kind of like a not-so-secret handshake.
• Best Club events to play in

Etc. 

 

 

[Schley]

As a new member, you may know your sponsor or their golf buddy, but really it is up to you to be proactive. No one is going to search through the club directory and select you out of the blue. You have to start somewhere so meet someone and play with them and mix into another group on the sheet and away you go. Where you start out as your playing partners, usually isn't where you will end up and embrace that and think it exciting to meet others.

[DonatelloNobodie]

Think it through before handing over a sizable initiation or joining fee. That money is gone forever, despite what the club may say about "refundable".  Search the web for lawsuits trying to recover initiation fees.  Neighbors lost their $50K initiation fee, after a new club went bankrupt after 2 years.

 

If the club gets sold, goes bankrupt, or has major dues increase or assessments, your money is gone.

Edited August 21, 2021 by DonatelloNobodie

[Primo1868]

Shouldn’t be hard to make friends! Just have an open mind and be the good person that you are! 

[RFMedic]

When you join, just go up and play.  Play by yourself if you have to. Eventually you'll run into some people you can link up with.  There's always going to be people who think they are something that they aren't because they are members of a club.  Ignore them, you don't want to play with them anyway.

 

My brothers and I recently joined the same club our dad is a member of.  I am 36, brothers are 29, and 26.  We're all single digit handicap players, we follow all of the rules of the club, fix our divots, and pitch marks. There are several groups of old dudes who have single digit member numbers who do not like the "new young members".  These types have tried to start a petition to have the club pro removed because he's letting "too many young people join."  

 

Just go play, and enjoy your membership, eventually, you'll link up with a group. 

[kdphan]

On 9/21/2021 at 2:10 PM, RFMedic said:

When you join, just go up and play.  Play by yourself if you have to. Eventually you'll run into some people you can link up with.  There's always going to be people who think they are something that they aren't because they are members of a club.  Ignore them, you don't want to play with them anyway.

 

My brothers and I recently joined the same club our dad is a member of.  I am 36, brothers are 29, and 26.  We're all single digit handicap players, we follow all of the rules of the club, fix our divots, and pitch marks. There are several groups of old dudes who have single digit member numbers who do not like the "new young members".  These types have tried to start a petition to have the club pro removed because he's letting "too many young people join."  

 

Just go play, and enjoy your membership, eventually, you'll link up with a group. 

Quite strange since every new member, young or old, are helping the club pay the bills.

 

I bet these old dudes are the ones that don't fix their pitch marks or divots.

[Roody]

15 minutes ago, kdphan said:

Quite strange since every new member, young or old, are helping the club pay the bills.

 

I bet these old dudes are the ones that don't fix their pitch marks or divots.

 

The same sort or griping happens at my club too. No one has started a petition, but a lot of the older members b**** about some of the younger guys who got in under a deal they ran a couple years ago during a membership drive. I'm one of those guys who got in under the deal. 

 

But what I explain to them is the deal is staggered so year one dues are the cheapest, but they go up a little in year two, then more in year three, until year five where we're paying full rate. My wife and I are in year 3 of the deal, and are also participating in paying for an assessment they did last month. We also are spending a lot on food and beverage, pro shop, tournaments, scotches, etc. We don't just show up to play golf and go immediately home afterwards. 

 

The members I have a small issue with are the ones who got in under the deal, and never stick around after golf to spend a little in the clubhouse. Even worse is one of them had the nerve to get up during a membership meeting and ask the president "so the deal myself and some others got in under is about to expire. What are you going to offer as incentive to keep us around?". I felt like telling him to p*ss off. He's one of those who will just club-hop for a better deal every couple of years anyways. 

Edited September 23, 2021 by Roody

[RFMedic]

35 minutes ago, kdphan said:

Quite strange since every new member, young or old, are helping the club pay the bills.

 

I bet these old dudes are the ones that don't fix their pitch marks or divots.

Exactly right.. They think they own the place.  I find myself fixing 4 or 5 pitch marks on just about every green.  But yet the "new young members" are the problem.  

[cristphoto]

On 8/21/2021 at 10:25 AM, DonatelloNobodie said:

Think it through before handing over a sizable initiation or joining fee. That money is gone forever, despite what the club may say about "refundable".  Search the web for lawsuits trying to recover initiation fees.  Neighbors lost their $50K initiation fee, after a new club went bankrupt after 2 years.

 

If the club gets sold, goes bankrupt, or has major dues increase or assessments, your money is gone.

 

I keep seeing the term "refundable" initiation fee used.  I guess it depends on what part of the country you're in. I'm in the DC area and don't know of any refundable fees.  Waiting lists and membership caps are a way of life. I guess that's the downside of being in a populated urban area with fairly stable/higher incomes.  

[golfortennis]

19 hours ago, Roody said:

 

The same sort or griping happens at my club too. No one has started a petition, but a lot of the older members b**** about some of the younger guys who got in under a deal they ran a couple years ago during a membership drive. I'm one of those guys who got in under the deal. 

 

But what I explain to them is the deal is staggered so year one dues are the cheapest, but they go up a little in year two, then more in year three, until year five where we're paying full rate. My wife and I are in year 3 of the deal, and are also participating in paying for an assessment they did last month. We also are spending a lot on food and beverage, pro shop, tournaments, scotches, etc. We don't just show up to play golf and go immediately home afterwards. 

 

The members I have a small issue with are the ones who got in under the deal, and never stick around after golf to spend a little in the clubhouse. Even worse is one of them had the nerve to get up during a membership meeting and ask the president "so the deal myself and some others got in under is about to expire. What are you going to offer as incentive to keep us around?". I felt like telling him to p*ss off. He's one of those who will just club-hop for a better deal every couple of years anyways. 

 

We have a limit on the numbers, so no one really complains about "too many people getting in."  But I did have an issue with the club-hop guys you refer to.  They would try to make themselves a a "bloc" and try to negotiate, and as you said, they will shop for better deals.  My issue was always with the fact they had no skin in the game (either paying an initiation or buying a share), yet they seemed to be catered to a little more than they should.  In fairness, a number of them spent a ton in the clubhouse, so it wasn't all bad.

 

The last 18 months has brought about a course access issue, but it has mostly solved the above issue.  With a long waiting list, those guys had to put up or shut up.  

 

[GooseHook]

On 7/14/2021 at 4:09 PM, Bonneville85308 said:

 

Agree 100%. Even if you aren't much of a drinker and don't spend much beyond the food minimum, there will still be cart fees, tournament entry fees, tips, guest fees, assessments, etc. that will take you well beyond the base monthly dues.

 

I did justify the F&B costs by recognizing that those charges at the club were money that I otherwise would have spent at other local restaurants anyway, and it was just shifting the expense to the club. 

 

 

That's always been my experience too, although it does vary quite a bit club to club. OP was asking this question months ago, but anyone reading  here needs to know that your dues on the membership packet are not your actual dues. Almost every club has a mandatory capital fee (or several) tacked on to your monthly dues out the gate. Other things you need to watch for:

 

Range fees

Bag storage/locker fees

Handicap fee

Food minimums (if you use the club, treat it like a DoorDash credit for decent food)

 

Tourney fees creep up too. At my club we have a "season ticket" for $110 that gets you into all the club events throughout the year, but each time you play in one you get charged another 20-25 for food, and usually have to buy into sweeps for the event. Have you always wanted to play in a member-member or member-guest? Earmark $1000 for each of those, plus tips and flight betting money. 

 

Private golf in my area has always been a decent proposition if you play and practice a lot, since our public courses are very crowded and can run upwards of 80-90 per round on weekends. You will still pay more to be a member somewhere but the extra gets you the company of better golfers, better conditions, and a staff that's more willing to work with you. 

[Roody]

7 minutes ago, golfortennis said:

 

But I did have an issue with the club-hop guys you refer to.  They would try to make themselves a a "bloc" and try to negotiate, and as you said, they will shop for better deals.  My issue was always with the fact they had no skin in the game (either paying an initiation or buying a share), yet they seemed to be catered to a little more than they should. 

 

 

Agreed! They want to pay as little as possible, and then are the first to complain when a blade of grass is out of place. And then if the club doesn't bend over backwards to offer them another cheap deal, they run off to the next club offering a 2-year special. It's capitalism/supply/demand, I get it. But it's frustrating because for a club to really thrive, you need members that care about it. Members that have skin in it. 

[Abh159]

12 minutes ago, GooseHook said:

Tourney fees creep up too. At my club we have a "season ticket" for $110 that gets you into all the club events throughout the year, but each time you play in one you get charged another 20-25 for food, and usually have to buy into sweeps for the event. Have you always wanted to play in a member-member or member-guest? Earmark $1000 for each of those, plus tips and flight betting money. 

 

Great point here! I was aware of the tournament fees before I joined my club so I knew what I was getting into, but for people not used to that it can sneak up on you pretty quickly. $300 here, $500 there, and so on throughout the year. Fortunately, my club at least makes all the tournaments "all inclusive" so you just pay the one fee and then it's unlimited food, drinks, etc.

 

I wish my club had a "season ticket". Something like that would have saved me thousands over the years!