Family Men - Staying competitive while only touching the clubs once a week ⛳

[cocolamb22]

Hey All,

 

Reaching out here to get ideas from others. I've got a growing family (4 kids!) and my time is being stretched. I'm a fairly competitive golfer, currently a Scratch, and love the game (obvs!), but with everything going on in life - after school sports, activities, family time, wife time, etc. - I'm trying to figure out how to remain competitive enough while also playing once a week if I'm lucky. That would be either a 9 hole league night, or weekend tournament. It just takes too much time away from the fam at the moment. 

 

Have any of you other competitive golfers solved this issue? How do you remain competitive while limiting your time with the game?

 

Would love to hear your thoughts. TIA!

Edited May 2 by cocolamb22

[klebs01]

4 minutes ago, cocolamb22 said:

Hey All,

 

Reaching out here to get ideas from others. I've got a growing family (4 kids!) and my time is being stretched. I'm a fairly competitive golfer, currently a Scratch, and love the game (obvs!), but with everything going on in life - after school sports, activities, family time, wife time, etc. - I'm trying to figure out how to remain competitive enough while also playing once a week if I'm lucky. That would be either a 9 hole league night, or weekend tournament. It just takes too much time away from the fam at the moment. 

 

Have any of you other competitive golfers solved this issue? How do you remain competitive while limiting your time with the game?

 

Would love to hear your thoughts. TIA!

Involve the family. We are going out as a group tomorrow. Having dinner together. Then maybe more golf if the kids want it. Being able to head out after homework is done to play as many holes as we can is great too. 

[Pepperturbo]

25 minutes ago, cocolamb22 said:

Hey All,

 

Reaching out here to get ideas from others. I've got a growing family (4 kids!) and my time is being stretched. I'm a fairly competitive golfer, currently a Scratch, and love the game (obvs!), but with everything going on in life - after school sports, activities, family time, wife time, etc. - I'm trying to figure out how to remain competitive enough while also playing once a week if I'm lucky. That would be either a 9 hole league night, or weekend tournament. It just takes too much time away from the fam at the moment. 

 

Have any of you other competitive golfers solved this issue? How do you remain competitive while limiting your time with the game?

 

Would love to hear your thoughts. TIA!

There is no rock-hard solution.  All depends on your judgement, how gifted your body and skills are, and how tolerant and flexible your wife and children are. 😁  

 

Four kids, a wife and a job can be very strenuous on maintaining a good golf game, not to mention 😉 aging.  I know a guy who has children, a very dedicated job, a tolerant golfing wife, and was a "+5" player.  The last couple of years he's slacked off a bit, maintaining +1-2, but doesn't have the time to play in all the desired regional events.  He's a physically gifted player that has to compromise.

Edited May 2 by Pepperturbo

[bcflyguy1]

Similar boat to the OP; it's all a massive time management puzzle. Here's what I've done over the last few years that has helped.

1. Moved a few doors up the road from my in-laws in my club's neighborhood. Makes practice and playing more accessible when it's practically in the back yard.

2. As others have said, involve the family. My 11 year old in particular is quite a keen player and is learning/improving quickly. I make a habit of dragging all the girls to the range to give Mom a break.

 

3. Keep expectations of your game realistic and be gracious with yourself. "Dad Golf" can still be a ton of fun, but those low rounds will almost certainly become fewer and farther between. Unless you play for your livelihood, being a great Dad and maintaining an extremely high standard of play in golf is all but mutually exclusive. Better to let the golf skills atrophy a bit and knock your responsibilities to your family out of the park. You only get one shot at it, and golf will still be there when the kids are grown and gone.

[sailfishchris]

Be selfish with your time.  I started getting up 90 minutes earlier to go to the gym while everyone slept. I found  90 minutes twice a week to practice in my schedule. Rounds were worked out with my wife - I’ve become an exceptionally good wet weather player.. if there’s ever a tournament I want to play I work in a babysitter. Be selfish 

[third-times-a-charm]

Get the kids involved as they get old enough (3+) even if its just for 30 mins of range of 3 holes.

 

Dont work during the day.

 

Putt at home. Chip in the backyard. Setup a sim if you can or net in the backyard or etc.

 

Get a private club membership and move across the street so you can walk to the facilities.

 

YMMV of course.

[Bye]

Much respect that you can find any time to play with 4 kids.

 

We have 2, the oldest being 15. I’ve managed to keep my handicap between +0.4 and 1.6. Getting to play in some proper events is challenging though.

I play early on a Saturday (7am ish) and am back home for lunch with the family. I get there as early as I can and have a decent warm up. There is always a club in the house and work on my set up every day, with a bit of chipping in the back garden fitted in. 
 

Take it for what it is, a chance to decompress from work etc. If you play well enjoy it, if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. 
 

It’s great to get the kids involved, but don’t take them to the range with you if you want to work on something or get a solid practice session in.

 

Just keep going with it, stopping is not a good option, before you know it a few years will have passed. 

 

 

[Hawkeye77]

Not sure what "competitive" means.

 

If actual competitions, with four kids, I'd be surprised if you have time to play hardly any events and that's life and in a good way.  I just have two and when they were in Little League, for example, I just said good-bye to golf from April though early/mid July - so what.  Fortunately one of my daughters chose golf and we played a ton when she was in HS, still plenty of time for the other daughter's interests, but that's two.  Another one or two, no way I'd have been able to play with her after practice or probably attend all her meets, same with the younger when she was active in tennis - we were lucky in a way they were separated by 4 years so their HS sports never conflicted, but plenty of other activities to juggle.  

 

If you just mean stay sharp, whatever that means, you play and practice whenever it works with your life.  My best scoring years in golf have been since my kids were out of high school, plenty of life after, lol.

 

I doubt any suggestions will make much difference, but if so great.  It's for you and your family to work out and sometimes the answers just come your way - like, "I just noticed I haven't played golf for a month and I don't really care."

[doctorgriffo]

Build a sim in the garage, if it is far enough away from the bedrooms that it doesn’t wake people up - that was the only way I got to play regularly with younger kids.

Getting the kids involved is a double-edge sword - you get more time at the course, but I found myself totally distracted by making sure they were behaving themselves, not getting in the way etc and the kids took all my attention and focus. My game went down the toilet while my son was learning the game playing with me, and now I spend more time driving him to play at tournaments and with his friends than I do playing myself. A different type of enjoyment/punishment (it is harder to watch your son four putt than do it yourself!)

[otto6457]

Depends on the level you seek to be competitive at.

 

Local tournaments are doable.  If you live in a larger metropolitan area like say DFW, you will not likely be a threat to win very often.  The sheer numbers of good golfers without kids and the time restrictions you face is just tool large.  A smaller city makes it more likely you can be competitive.  But even then, there are going to be good players with a lot more time than you to spend playing and practicing.

 

Elite State and National tournaments such as State/National Ams, and Mid-Ams are stacked with serious "tournament golfers".  Ex college players, club champions, and failed mini tour pros are tough to catch unless you have the time to commit to your game, no matter your talent level.

 

Like many have said, a "tournament golfer" is a very different animal than a guy that plays in tournaments.  

 

Manage your expectations and do the best you can.  That's all you can do.  

 

I'd rather finish dead last in a good tournament than stay home and wish I had tried.

 

 

Edited May 2 by otto6457

[getitdaily]

4 is tough. Really tough.

 

I have 2. I put a net and mat in my backyard and bought a launch monitor. 

 

I putt for an hour before I log on from work once a week. I get short game work in as soon as I can see on the Saturdays I don't play...about 1.5 hours and am home around 830am.

 

I also have a very understanding wife. She enjoys that I have a hobby outside the house. 

 

But I do my part when at home and with my sons.

[JM2]

I found the easiest way to stay involved in golf is by getting your kids involved in golf. Suddenly that Sunday trip to the range becomes a nice break for the wife when you bring your kids with you. 

[hanginnwangin]

5 hours ago, cocolamb22 said:

Hey All,

 

Reaching out here to get ideas from others. I've got a growing family (4 kids!) and my time is being stretched. I'm a fairly competitive golfer, currently a Scratch, and love the game (obvs!), but with everything going on in life - after school sports, activities, family time, wife time, etc. - I'm trying to figure out how to remain competitive enough while also playing once a week if I'm lucky. That would be either a 9 hole league night, or weekend tournament. It just takes too much time away from the fam at the moment. 

 

Have any of you other competitive golfers solved this issue? How do you remain competitive while limiting your time with the game?

 

Would love to hear your thoughts. TIA!

I'm not as good as you since I'm a 3 handicap, but I'll give my opinion. Realistically, there isn't much you can do unless you get a net in your back yard to work on your swing or a simulator itself in your garage or something. And do this while getting lessons, maybe virtually if that's an option. At least with this you can be at home and work on your swing during whatever limited free time you have during the day. I have a simulator in my garage and I am able to use it after my toddler goes to bed. I also get virtual lessons from my garage as well. I'm just trying to build a fundamental swing for life and then play when I can. I think it's helping. For your level of being a +1, I think if you just maintain your swing, you will be in a good spot. 

Edited May 2 by hanginnwangin

[HateTheHighDraw]

It ain’t easy but it’s doable. Luckily in the business world there are opportunities to play during the week (usually Fridays) when the kids are at school, so there is less of a sacrifice/tradeoff. And practice putting at home at night. Best advice I can offer 

[naval2006]

Be tolerant with yourself.  As they mentioned above, dad golf isn't the best you can perform.  But the best is yet to come as the kids grow up.  And even better if at least one of your kids gets engaged in golf and you share time together.  

[Lefty_3Jack]

18 hours ago, sailfishchris said:

Be selfish with your time.  I started getting up 90 minutes earlier to go to the gym while everyone slept. I found  90 minutes twice a week to practice in my schedule. Rounds were worked out with my wife - I’ve become an exceptionally good wet weather player.. if there’s ever a tournament I want to play I work in a babysitter. Be selfish 

Well done

[byoshio82]

I’m lucky and all my boys love golf and we have acreage. I put in 2 cups with flags and ones at 150 yards and ones at 100. We have a mat so we don’t tear up the yard too much. All my boys are competitive so we bet nickels and I set par based off their skill level. 
 

Then I either putt inside with them and/or go to the putting green when I have 20-30 min to spare. Lunch break usually works well for me a couple times a week. This seems to work well for me. I usually take them out for 9 holes and then take off early from work for league nights. 

[bcflyguy1]

Maybe best put this way:

I've never heard someone's handicap index mentioned at a memorial or celebration of life service, for good reason. The talk is always of much more important, lasting things.