Robert Allenby Robbed and Beaten Up in Hawaii

[RJRJRJ]

Possibly!

Holy Moses. I feel your pain. Back in 2009, I dissented and said:

"There's no way any of this is true. Have you seen that chick? She's just some wannabe socialite skank tryin' to make herself famous. She's just trying to use Tiger's name to do it. Probably just somebody he took a picture with at a party. You know how these people are."

 

Having said that, I almost immediately said, "Dude! I was totally wrong about that. My bad."

 

I would be wrong if I claimed Allenby's innocence. All I said was let the facts come to the surface.

 

[Frankensteins Monster]

Video of Allenby buying liquor after the club has been released.

 

[Holy Moses]

[quote name='Arafel' timestamp='1421956300' post='10798769'][quote name='Holy Moses' timestamp='1421955799' post='10798725']


I would be wrong if I claimed Allenby's innocence.[b] All I said was let the facts come to the surface[/b].
[/quote]

But that wouldn't make for a very fun thread.[/quote]

I'm glad I could stoke the fire though

[landolakes]

Perhaps we are all witness to the greatest John Quinones "What would you do?" episode, and it will all be revealed on ABC this Saturday?... maybe?

[3_Jack_Par]

If he concocted this story because he was embarrassed that he got s---faced and took a tumble, it will have been one of the greatest overestimations of one's own fame in recorded history. The reality is that he could have laid low for a month until the scrapes heal, if he has to miss a tournament, he could have WD'ed with a "sore elbow" or whatever, and nobody would have known that anything happened. Instead, he would have had to believe that he's so famous that as soon as anyone saw his face, the internet and sports news would be ablaze with the story, because how could it not be huge news?

[ericld]

It's a fun thread because we've all been hammered on booze so we know the feeling - but he took it a step further with his "tale". Nobody was hurt and no harm came to anyone else - so he's an easy target.

[Chief Cowpie]

[url="http://deadspin.com/witness-robert-allenby-hurt-himself-after-a-trip-to-th-1681127848"]http://deadspin.com/...o-th-1681127848[/url]



[size=1][b][url="http://mattinglyssideburns.kinja.com/"]MattinglysSideburns[/url]Tom Ley[/b][/size]
[url="http://deadspin.com/cop-1-sounds-like-roberts-got-no-allen-by-cop-2-its-1681145993"]Today 12:57pm[/url]



[size=3][b]COP #1: [/b]Sounds like Robert's got no Allen-[i]by[/i]
[b]COP #2: [/b]It's pronounced Allen[i]-bee[/i].
[b]COP #1:[/b] _uck you, Greg.[/size]

[2bGood]

I bet at this point he wishes he just kept is mouth shut. If the media asked about the marks on his face the reply "I had one too many on my night and underestimated the importance of balance..."

Enough said no BIG story.

[knock it close]

Is society so messed up that people feel that its necessary to fabricate a kidnapping story, instead of just saying "I got a little too drunk and tripped"?

Or is Robert just delusional?

[monkeynaut]

[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421957929' post='10798977']
If he concocted this story because he was embarrassed that he got s---faced and took a tumble, it will have been one of the greatest overestimations of one's own fame in recorded history. The reality is that he could have laid low for a month until the scrapes heal, if he has to miss a tournament, he could have WD'ed with a "sore elbow" or whatever, and nobody would have known that anything happened. Instead, he would have had to believe that he's so famous that as soon as anyone saw his face, the internet and sports news would be ablaze with the story, because how could it not be huge news?
[/quote]
See. That's megalomania messing a brother up.

As a former horrible drunk, one of the things people have to learn is - You Never Add to Lie.
You just leave stuff out and embellish the truth, stressing the disaster that was actually averted.
Here's what I would've said if I were Allenby:

[indent=1]"Oh man, it was bad. Does it look really bad? Yeah. It was late and I didn't have cab fare, so I decided to maybe walk home. But it was dark out and I rolled my ankle and fell. Hard. I must have hit my head because next thing I know some homeless people are trying to help me. At least I think they did. My wallet was missing. It must have gotten lost in all the confusion. Anyway, if it wasn't for this homeless lady and a retired vet, who helped me.... I don't know what would've happened. People are saying I'm lucky, that kind of fall can kill a guy. The worst part is, it's my daughter's birthday. I'm going to call her and she's going to see me and worry that Daddy could've died. I'll just make sure I give her a big hug when I get home and be thankful it's just some cuts and bruises. [/indent]
[indent=1]All in all, I guess God was looking out for me. "[/indent]

Boom.
That is how you get in front of a story. Freakin' amateur.

[eagle1997]

^nice. not enough reformed drunks in public relations i guess. start a company, monkey!

[ea19]

[quote name='knock it close' timestamp='1421959769' post='10799149']
Is society so messed up that people feel that its necessary to fabricate a kidnapping story, instead of just saying "I got a little too drunk and tripped"?

Or is Robert just delusional?
[/quote]
Right - totally agree. Just say it. No one would have cared much. Or even - just say, had a few drinks - decided to walk and I got mugged. Not a big deal - my fault for being stupid.

[ericld]

please please please play in the Waste Mgmt Open.

must see TV!

[playa]

[quote name='moose557' timestamp='1421939840' post='10797115']
[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421936913' post='10796839']
This level of intoxication seems strange to me. I'm something of a professional in this regard, (moreso in my younger days) but it would take A LOT of booze to get someone to the point where they would pass out in the street for a couple of hours. It's hard to understand how a guy who I assume enjoys a few cocktails from time to time, would get to that point by 11 PM, at a wine bar. It appears that this place does serve hard liquor, as well, so I guess that could explain it, but it would be hard to avoid getting cut off if you were that blotto. But then again, I don't "HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS", so the rules may be different for those who do.
[/quote]

I have seen people that drunk more times then I can count. When I graduated high school we took a trip up to Montreal since the drinking age up their is 18. I got so drunk I wondered off and passed out in an alley next to the bar. Woke up to a homeless man trying to go through my pockets. Was in New Orleans last June. Right by Bourbon St. Walked out my hotel around 9AM and their was a pretty well dressed man about 30 years old wearing beads with a giant hurricane glass passed out obviously hammered sleeping right in the middle of the side walk with people stopping to take pictures next to him. Hell, even last night went to a sports bar at 530 for drinks walk into the bathroom and their is a man basicslly on top of the counter barely concious vomiting all over the place. You would think by 45 years of age you could control it a little better, but it's not surprising.
[/quote]
I was once at a night club and there was a real loud band d playing, and I saw a guy slumped over asleep inside the main speaker. I was sober and couldn't get within 10 feet of the speaker without feeling like my eardrums would burst. He would have woken up the next morning with sore ears. Doesn't take that much booze to make a guy pass out.

[hogans71]

[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421957929' post='10798977']
If he concocted this story because he was embarrassed that he got s---faced and took a tumble, it will have been one of the greatest overestimations of one's own fame in recorded history. The reality is that he could have laid low for a month until the scrapes heal, if he has to miss a tournament, he could have WD'ed with a "sore elbow" or whatever, and nobody would have known that anything happened. Instead, he would have had to believe that he's so famous that as soon as anyone saw his face, the internet and sports news would be ablaze with the story, because how could it not be huge news?
[/quote]

Best post yet...

[DavePelz4]

This just in...

 

 

BTW this is not really his Twitter account but a website that allows you to create fake Tweets.

[playa]

[quote name='monkeynaut' timestamp='1421959930' post='10799169']
[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421957929' post='10798977']
If he concocted this story because he was embarrassed that he got s---faced and took a tumble, it will have been one of the greatest overestimations of one's own fame in recorded history. The reality is that he could have laid low for a month until the scrapes heal, if he has to miss a tournament, he could have WD'ed with a "sore elbow" or whatever, and nobody would have known that anything happened. Instead, he would have had to believe that he's so famous that as soon as anyone saw his face, the internet and sports news would be ablaze with the story, because how could it not be huge news?
[/quote]
See. That's megalomania messing a brother up.

As a former horrible drunk, one of the things people have to learn is - You Never Add to Lie.
You just leave stuff out and embellish the truth, stressing the disaster that was actually averted.
Here's what I would've said if I were Allenby:

[indent=1]"Oh man, it was bad. Does it look really bad? Yeah. It was late and I didn't have cab fare, so I decided to maybe walk home. But it was dark out and I rolled my ankle and fell. Hard. I must have hit my head because next thing I know some homeless people are trying to help me. At least I think they did. My wallet was missing. It must have gotten lost in all the confusion. Anyway, if it wasn't for this homeless lady and a retired vet, who helped me.... I don't know what would've happened. People are saying I'm lucky, that kind of fall can kill a guy. The worst part is, it's my daughter's birthday. I'm going to call her and she's going to see me and worry that Daddy could've died. I'll just make sure I give her a big hug when I get home and be thankful it's just some cuts and bruises. [/indent]
[indent=1]All in all, I guess God was looking out for me. "[/indent]

Boom.
That is how you get in front of a story. Freakin' amateur.
[/quote]
You also add something about it being a hot day and feeling dehydrated so having a little more to drink than usual, and something about not having the chance to eat lunch or dinner because you were performing pr duties in the hospitality tent at the tournament, where you were continually handed drinks by sponsors and fans, and that you were tired because you didn't have a chance to get any sleep after the round because you were signing autographs and doing chdrens hospital visits, and the only reason you went to the wine bar was because some deep pocketed sponsors of the event were fans and invited you etc etc. Damage control 101. RA needs a spin doctor on his pay roll.

[Malvern]

[quote name='Wriggles' timestamp='1421939249' post='10797039']
Didn't someone say he was wearing a Rolex, and it wasn't taken by his assailants? If true, what crook would not steal a Rolex?
[/quote]

A discerning one who knows the difference between real and fake.

Bobby fabricates stories, wouldn't put it past him to have picked up a couple of watches last time he played in the Hong Kong Open.

[BrickDaFunk]

RA's account has transcended into a night in the secret life of an intoxicated Walter Mitty...

[bscinstnct]

This just in...

 

 

BTW this is not really his Twitter account but a website that allows you to create fake Tweets.

 

[Arafel]

This just in...

 

 

BTW this is not really his Twitter account but a website that allows you to create fake Tweets.

 

Is that actually Allenby?

 

Never mind. I see the disclaimer now.

[forgedforever]

I have held this belief that if one was down and out (literally or whatever) most homeless people would be among the first to attempt to provide aid, not cause you further harm.

My belief has been reinforced in reading this thread the past few days.

There are obviously a log of angles to this complicated story.

Incredible reading.

[playa]

I never thought I would see the day when Tiger, Rory, Chamblee etc would be banished to the back pages of WRX by someone like Robert Allenby. This is his fifteen minutes of fame, but like many fifteen minutes of fame, for all the wrong reasons. I can't wait to see the response next time he tees it up in a tour event.

[RJRJRJ]

[quote name='Arafel' timestamp='1421973345' post='10800395']
[quote name='playa' timestamp='1421970821' post='10800157']
I never thought I would see the day when Tiger, Rory, Chamblee etc would be banished to the back pages of WRX by someone like Robert Allenby. This is his fifteen minutes of fame, but like many fifteen minutes of fame, for all the wrong reasons. I can't wait to see the response next time he tees it up in a tour event.
[/quote]

ALOHA DINGO!!

Mashed Potatoes!!
[/quote]

MASHED FOREHEAD AND NOSE!!!!

[DON SVO]

"When keeping it reeeaal... Goes WRONG'"

[monkeynaut]

Mashed Mah Dingo!

[MtlJeff]

Being reported today that Clint Eastwood is in talks to direct a movie about Allenby's story

It will be called "Australian Liar"

[south_side_lefty]

The next time people get pissed at me for being drunk and stupid, I'm just gonna tell them I got millions.

[One_Putt_Blunder]

[quote name='south_side_lefty' timestamp='1421980458' post='10801091']
The next time people get pissed at me for being drunk and stupid, I'm just gonna tell them I got millions.
[/quote]

one more and Dean Wormer will be calling for you

[DavePelz4]

[quote name='One_Putt_Blunder' timestamp='1421980591' post='10801103']
[quote name='south_side_lefty' timestamp='1421980458' post='10801091']
The next time people get pissed at me for being drunk and stupid, I'm just gonna tell them I got millions.
[/quote]

one more and Dean Wormer will be calling for you
[/quote]

Maybe Allenby's pledge name was Flounder,