How to act like a pro golfer...tips

[dalehead]

When you take off your sunglasses stow them on the back of your hat instead of the front where they cover your sponsors logo.

[Krt22]

At least one item of your ensemble should be made from gator or ostrich leather...shoes, belt, yardage cover. Pick wisely!

[Strömsborg]

If you hit a foul drive and someone is in danger just point left or right.

[BB28403]

> @"Strömsborg" said:

> If you hit a foul drive and someone is in danger just point left or right.

 

Act concerned, see that they get expensive medical care (that’s taken out of the winners purse, mind you). Mic Drop a signed glove and hit the approach shot. mind clear because such a good thing has been done. Another happy patron served

[cardoustie]

- use a tee to fix ball marks

- take 20 mins for cart path or lateral relief

- lose the complete ability to pull a club for a 140 shot with 1 club of headwind

 

[ebrasmus21]

A few more:

 

- On approach shots use the “contouring” of the “green complex” to filter the ball towards the flag

 

- if you hit one OB or into a hazard and have to reload make sure to spend 3 minutes drawing two black dots on your golf ball so it can be properly identified

 

- setup your personal trackman unit on the range

 

- if you hit into another game on accident go over to the affected party, wink all around, and sign a glove for them then walk away.

[JohnnyCashForever]

Never rake a bunker. Just nonchalantly smooth the sand with your shoe.

 

[mocokid]

has this been mentioned ? Tap your shoes with your SW after exiting sand. But do it stylishly, gentle firm taps. I was going to suggest sitting on the base of your tour bag, with the OEM name on bottom displayed for public consumption, but I never see tour pros sitting on their bags any longer, a lost art LOL.

[Dr. Block]

If you want to be like a modern pro golfer, dress, walk, talk, and swing exactly like every one of your peers and put me to sleep with boredom when I choose to watch you on T.V.

[Strömsborg]

> @JohnnyCashForever said:

> Never rake a bunker. Just nonchalantly smooth the sand with your shoe.

>

 

Have someone rake the bunker for you. And if you're in the last group of the day don't rake at all.

[RichieHunt]

If you wear a visor, it has to be a high profile, flat brim visor.

 

Staff bag, but the only custom headcover is the driver.

 

You do not putt with a glove on. When you putt, you put the glove in your back pocket and fold the thumb in the pocket so it only shows the 4 fingers.

 

Carry a money clip with about $500 cash. You may have to tip people there.

 

Every shot on the range is treated like a real shot. Walk up from behind the ball, make your body language as you step up to the ball, a waggle or two, then hit the shot, do a club twirl.

 

After the shot on the range, scrub off the dirt on the iron with your trail foot and do it while talking to somebody next to you.

 

Have an entourage. Must have at least 4 people watching you hit balls.

 

One person is the designated golf ball tosser on the range. This is on tee shots only. He tosses the ball and you catch it and place it on the tee.

 

Always make sure you get short game practice and bunker practice. Bring a bucket/bag of balls with you.

 

On the practice green, always start off with putting drills. Place tees in the green and more tees and more tees. Make a crop-circle of tees if needed.

 

You never have tees on you, you simply ask the starter for some tees because the course should have tees for you to use.

 

You grab bottles of water for your use and don't pay. Again, the course should provide you this. But, mini-bottles only.

 

You ask your caddie 'Where's the wind coming from?' on every shot. And the caddie tells you the direction using a clock (i.e. 8 o'clock). If he says 'from the left', you won't speak to him for the rest of the round before he's fired.

 

You always get the carry to the pin and to the front edge of the green.

 

Your grooves while playing will not have a molecule of dirt on them while playing.

 

On the range, you will use a tee to scrape out the dirt from the grooves until you're done using the club and then your caddie will clean them.

 

If a putt doesn't break the way it's supposed to, you will take your arm in the way it was supposed to break and point to where the stupid ball was supposed to break (i.e. if a putt goes straight and was supposed to break left, you will take your left arm and wave it out to the left to where the putt was supposed to break).

 

If you hit a bad shot on an approach, you stay right where you are and then take another serious post-practice swing.

 

Lead tape.

 

You're playing a ProV1 and it will be marked differently. Marking the line on the ProV1 is no longer en vogue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RH

 

 

 

 

 

[mocokid]

Mention in your post round presser that the 30 minutes with Brad Faxxon had a lot to do with the 25 putts today and the 65 you posted.

Mention near the tee box open mic that you hit a 3/4 knuckle draw, rather than hood the face on a shorter club.

[Bloom]

Water bottles

Has to be a generic water bottle that was purchased from Wal Mart, Costco, etc with the label ripped off. Add a few drops of red food coloring to it so it has a pinkish tinge to it.

[fillwelix]

Okay I might be a poser

 

> @RichieHunt said:

> If you wear a visor, it has to be a high profile, flat brim visor - **Yes**

>

> Staff bag, but the only custom headcover is the driver. - **No staff bag but have the rest**

>

> You do not putt with a glove on. When you putt, you put the glove in your back pocket and fold the thumb in the pocket so it only shows the 4 fingers. - **Yes**

>

> Carry a money clip with about $500 cash. You may have to tip people there. - **Lol**

>

> Every shot on the range is treated like a real shot. Walk up from behind the ball, make your body language as you step up to the ball, a waggle or two, then hit the shot, do a club twirl. - **Yes**

>

> After the shot on the range, scrub off the dirt on the iron with your trail foot and do it while talking to somebody next to you. - **Yes**

>

> Have an entourage. Must have at least 4 people watching you hit balls. - **lol I don't have that many friends**

>

> One person is the designated golf ball tosser on the range. This is on tee shots only. He tosses the ball and you catch it and place it on the tee. - **See above note about friends**

>

> Always make sure you get short game practice and bunker practice. Bring a bucket/bag of balls with you. - **Mostly yes**

>

> On the practice green, always start off with putting drills. Place tees in the green and more tees and more tees. Make a crop-circle of tees if needed. - **Yes**

>

> You never have tees on you, you simply ask the starter for some tees because the course should have tees for you to use. - **No I always carry 6-8 tees**

>

> You grab bottles of water for your use and don't pay. Again, the course should provide you this. But, mini-bottles only. - **Yes**

>

> You ask your caddie 'Where's the wind coming from?' on every shot. And the caddie tells you the direction using a clock (i.e. 8 o'clock). If he says 'from the left', you won't speak to him for the rest of the round before he's fired. - **Again see note about friends**

>

> You always get the carry to the pin and to the front edge of the green. - **Yes**

>

> Your grooves while playing will not have a molecule of dirt on them while playing. - **Yes**

>

> On the range, you will use a tee to scrape out the dirt from the grooves until you're done using the club and then your caddie will clean them. - **Yes but I clean them**

>

> If a putt doesn't break the way it's supposed to, you will take your arm in the way it was supposed to break and point to where the stupid ball was supposed to break (i.e. if a putt goes straight and was supposed to break left, you will take your left arm and wave it out to the left to where the putt was supposed to break). - **Yes**

>

> If you hit a bad shot on an approach, you stay right where you are and then take another serious post-practice swing. - **Yes**

>

> Lead tape. - **Yes**

>

> You're playing a ProV1 and it will be marked differently. Marking the line on the ProV1 is no longer en vogue. - **Kirkland (original)**

>

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> RH

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[SixtySomePing]

* Gallery people who run to inspect your errant driven ball close up will be in even more in awe if you've written on both sides with a sharpie, 'Mystery Edition Ball'. Caution: Some dashers may need EMT's

 

* Have an Instagram page, do gobs of non-golf selfies with other golfers trying to look non-golf, and other people who may sort of look cool. Use a big boat, or your own jet, but look regular person-ish

 

* If you are a rookie on tour, don't waste precious time when meeting experienced golfers. Cut to the chase and ask them how to detect people who will only want your autograph to sell it for profit

 

* If you wallop someone in the head with a wayward approach shot to the green, it may cause a big knot to arise by the time you get there. Don't worry, a fresh, **_Sharpie_** signed glove always provides more luster than a lucrative lawsuit against you, no matter how much affliction they have endured

 

* When being interviewed after a win, remember to kindly keep saying 'you know' a lot... Other choices are 'uh', or 'uhm'...

 

 

 

[tiderider]

> @mocokid said:

> has this been mentioned ? Tap your shoes with your SW after exiting sand. But do it stylishly, gentle firm taps. I was going to suggest sitting on the base of your tour bag, with the OEM name on bottom displayed for public consumption, but I never see tour pros sitting on their bags any longer, a lost art LOL.

 

i need to practice the sand tap ... injured a toe once ... very unprofessional ...

[JohnnyCashForever]

Request a rules official if your ball comes to rest anywhere off the fairway.

Wear huge oven mitts on your hands if the temperature drops below 50F.

Point your club left (or right), drop your head, but say nothing, if you hit a wayward tee shot.

Have your wife and kids run onto the 18th green to kiss you after finishing the round.

Remove a tee from the ground by kicking an iron head into it.

Create a logo from your initials to be stitched onto the back of your golf hat.

Always miss a putt on the high side. Even if you're trying to hole it.

Look away, extend your hand, and expect someone to place a ball in it after you've put one in the drink.

Ask that your playing partner pay you with a huge poster-sized check after winning a $2 nassau.

 

 

[Krt22]

Phil's shoe tap technique is the best, tap from behind instead of from the inside. I always whiff or hit myself in the ankle when I try it though

[Rob McHugh]

Oh you guys! Twirl, shmirl. You forgot the one handed finish and look of abject despair when piping it 300 down the middle.

 

The trouble with this thread is that it has the words Pro Golfer and 'Tips' in the same sentence. Never, ever, ever tip - if pressured give the waiter a signed glove and as for fill in caddies ...

 

Rob