Played with some good sticks today... got intimidated.

[vbb]

Story time (long post alert)

 

After years of playing "weekend golf" and never getting any better, this year I decided to really step it up. New swing, new(er) equipment, more practice, lessons, and reading/studying the game all in a quest to be a better player. I struggled for the first half of this year, but it started to click about 6 weeks ago. 7 of the last 10 rounds have "counted" for my handicap and I'm a 16.2 index and dropping (started out this year as a 21). Not good yet, but better than I was.

 

My regular group ranges from about a 12-24 indexes, so I fit right in. We'd always play the 6000-6300yd tees. But my regular group was pretty sporadic, none of us belonged to a club so we'd play all over, and we'd have trouble getting a full foursome to commit each week. So I joined a club recently and today I played in my first informal members event.

 

There were 16 guys in the group. I hit the range before my round and immediately notice something different. While my usual group might hack/spray a few balls here and there on the range, I was set up near 4 of the others in the group and all 4 of them were just MURDERING the ball with their clubs. Drives going a mile, irons going a mile, wedges going sky high. I thought I'd stepped into real life GolfWRX land or something. I tried to focus on my warm up, but also started getting worried that maybe I didn't belong. I then went over to the putting green, and one of the members wanted to do a little putting contest (nothing on the line) to warm up. I joined in and thankfully won a few holes. Then we got paired up and off we went.

 

This group plays a tee back than I normally do. I didn't want to be the dork that teed up a box ahead, so I joined them at the 6550yd tees. Flipped the tee for order, I'm up 2nd. Hoo-boy, here we go. First guy hits a low draw, puts it in the middle with good distance. I step up to the tee more nervous than I've EVER been on the course. I mean I was seriously having a hard time just teeing up my ball. I go through my normal mental checklist, take a swing and BOOM... smoked one. Not 300yds or anything, but a solid 265ish (didn't measure it so that's a guess). Turns out I was the longest off the tee on the first drive. I then hit a nice high draw (another great shot for me) for my approach just left and long of the pin, chip up and barely miss a par putt. Looks like I've played this game before!

 

Well, saving you all the play by play of my round, I held it together through 3 holes and started feeling less nervous... until I completely blew up on hole 4, panicked, and then proceeded to play the rest of the front pretty bad. I had the distance to hang with my foursome (though I wasn't the longest on most shots), but I couldn't be sure where my ball was going. Ended up shooting 50 on the front. Finally by hole 11 (got a double on #10) I settled in to my game and ended up with a 44 on the back, which was only about a stroke worse than my normal from the 6100 tees.

 

The other guys was just playing a different game. My score was the 2nd worst of the whole group of 16 people. A few guys broke par. Most of the guys were in the upper 70s or right around 80. Sloped at 132, it isn't a walkover either. Only 3 of us shot over 90. And it seems like everyone else that I could see was playing a different game. Even though I could hang in distance off the tee, and club selection on the par 3s, these guys were not doing the things my normal group does. Maybe one drop here, maybe one 3 putt there, but no skulled shots, fat shots, wild misses to the next fairway... just SOLID golf all around. I felt like I played pretty well on the back, and yet I was still not in the same class as most of the people. On one hand, I was happy to watch some great golf. On the other, I kept wondering what am I doing here?!

 

I played quickly, observed proper etiquette, and made small talk with everyone, and I did get the invite back. But I have never, in all of my 13 years of golfing, played with someone who has broken par. It was quite the experience. Now I'm motivated to get better!

[bk52]

Peer pressure is a great motivator. Don't give up on your friends but certainly seek out opportunities to play with better players, It will only help you in the long run.

[inked]

You know, I used to play with a couple of +1- +2 golfers and always walked side by side with them with the occasional miss I'd have to go chase down. Not once was I holding play up. And, while watching them play, you'd never think they finished at par or a few over. They never seemed to play much better than me, but when you play with them, they're never in bunkers, never OB, always get up and down, and always finish with a few birdies to make up for that 1 or 2 bogeys. Very methodical in their approach and never find trouble. I usually play pretty consistent, pars and bogeys, but I'll always have that 1 or 2 holes where I'm OB, hitting 3 from the tee, etc. and end with a snowman. Very good players don't have those holes.

[Duffner's Waggle]

Great post! Ive had the pleasure of playing with the OP and hes as good a guy as youll find on WRX. Plus handicap in the personality department for sure. Glad to hear youre improving man, cant wait til we tee it up again!

[leerob3]

Good on ya!

A man much wiser than myself once said "Always do what you are afraid to do."

It's never easy to step out of your comfort zone, way to step up, awesome!

[Callaway_Golf_Freak]

Congrats, great read thanks for sharing. Take it Easy, Mike " Go Play "

[pingfool]

almost guarantee you will score better next time your with that group

best advice = learn something from the guys that are saving par when they miss a shot

[Ruddy]

Great, honest post. You sound about like me, a 12.5 index, who plays like an 18! Just hang in there, keep your rhythm, don't worry about distance. Avoid the big numbers: get out of trouble in one shot, avoid penalties like the plague, accept a bogie and move on. Recommend Dr. Gio Valiante's "Fearless Golf". Situation : you make 3 double bogies in a row, your partners are avoiding eye contact, what do you do? Step up to the next tee and ask, "What's my target?". Same as when you par 3 in a row, birdie 3 in a row, whatever. You step up and ask, "What's my target?". Remember, we're all playing AT golf, we're not professional golfers.

[MtlJeff]

I think a lot of people feel nervous when playing with better players, i'm a low index, but every now and then i'll play with guys who are some of the top amateurs around the province and i always get a bit nervous with them. Certainly more so then with my friends or regular games. You want to show them you can play too

thing is, you have to remember that no matter how good the golfer, he's seen guys shoot 90 before. I've also been on the other end of the spectrum, recently i played as a twosome with a friend, and was paired with a guy who shot in the 90's and kept saying things like "man sorry you have to watch this"...and to me, i thought nothing of him shooting 90, he was a really nice, pleasant guy. I couldn't care less what he shot, i wasn't even thinking about it until he mentioned it

[vbb]

Thanks all. It was an eye opening experience. I've been randomly paired with good players before, but to see a group like this was a different thing altogether. The low guy in my foursome wasn't even doing anything mind boggling. No drained 20' putts, no 300yd drives, no crazy Bubba Watson shots around trees... he just had a solid game and every time I looked up, he was draining a par putt. I can definitely see there is a long way between where I am now and being a low single digit. Even though I only had to take one penalty stroke the whole round, and only had two 3 putts the whole round, I still slopped together a 94 while those guys were shooting in the 70s and making it look routine. I want that!

[RandomGolfGuy]

Having worked in the golf biz before I've seen all kinds of players. No matter what they shoot as long as they know how to keep a good pace and most importantly just a good attitude with a general love for the game is what matters most for me. I started as "hack" not knowing much of the game just learning as I worked my way from cart kid up to AGM. I got pretty good was playing between a 3-5 before the job took my play and practice time away.

Anyways, playing with better players definitely helped my game although it was very intimidating at first. That thought of people are watching or they are analyzing my swing etc used to get me. The mind is our greatest enemy in this game. I play with single digits, pros,and still play with guys who can barely break 100 usually not lol(some of my closest friends). Its all about just playing your own game and having fun out there. Meet people who love the game as much as you do, and if you have that drive to get better you will. Just keep at it. We all started the same just some were introduced to the game sooner than others. Great story and keep at it!

[Sean2]

[quote name='vbb' timestamp='1404685852' post='9648015']
Story time (long post alert)

After years of playing "weekend golf" and never getting any better, this year I decided to really step it up. New swing, new(er) equipment, more practice, lessons, and reading/studying the game all in a quest to be a better player. I struggled for the first half of this year, but it started to click about 6 weeks ago. 7 of the last 10 rounds have "counted" for my handicap and I'm a 16.2 index and dropping (started out this year as a 21). Not good yet, but better than I was.

My regular group ranges from about a 12-24 indexes, so I fit right in. We'd always play the 6000-6300yd tees. But my regular group was pretty sporadic, none of us belonged to a club so we'd play all over, and we'd have trouble getting a full foursome to commit each week. So I joined a club recently and today I played in my first informal members event.

There were 16 guys in the group. I hit the range before my round and immediately notice something different. While my usual group might hack/spray a few balls here and there on the range, I was set up near 4 of the others in the group and all 4 of them were just MURDERING the ball with their clubs. Drives going a mile, irons going a mile, wedges going sky high. I thought I'd stepped into real life GolfWRX land or something. I tried to focus on my warm up, but also started getting worried that maybe I didn't belong. I then went over to the putting green, and one of the members wanted to do a little putting contest (nothing on the line) to warm up. I joined in and thankfully won a few holes. Then we got paired up and off we went.

This group plays a tee back than I normally do. I didn't want to be the dork that teed up a box ahead, so I joined them at the 6550yd tees. Flipped the tee for order, I'm up 2nd. Hoo-boy, here we go. First guy hits a low draw, puts it in the middle with good distance. I step up to the tee more nervous than I've EVER been on the course. I mean I was seriously having a hard time just teeing up my ball. I go through my normal mental checklist, take a swing and BOOM... smoked one. Not 300yds or anything, but a solid 265ish (didn't measure it so that's a guess). Turns out I was the longest off the tee on the first drive. I then hit a nice high draw (another great shot for me) for my approach just left and long of the pin, chip up and barely miss a par putt. Looks like I've played this game before!

Well, saving you all the play by play of my round, I held it together through 3 holes and started feeling less nervous... until I completely blew up on hole 4, panicked, and then proceeded to play the rest of the front pretty bad. I had the distance to hang with my foursome (though I wasn't the longest on most shots), but I couldn't be sure where my ball was going. Ended up shooting 50 on the front. Finally by hole 11 (got a double on #10) I settled in to my game and ended up with a 44 on the back, which was only about a stroke worse than my normal from the 6100 tees.

The other guys was just playing a different game. My score was the 2nd worst of the whole group of 16 people. A few guys broke par. Most of the guys were in the upper 70s or right around 80. Sloped at 132, it isn't a walkover either. Only 3 of us shot over 90. And it seems like everyone else that I could see was playing a different game. Even though I could hang in distance off the tee, and club selection on the par 3s, these guys were not doing the things my normal group does. Maybe one drop here, maybe one 3 putt there, but no skulled shots, fat shots, wild misses to the next fairway... just SOLID golf all around. I felt like I played pretty well on the back, and yet I was still not in the same class as most of the people. On one hand, I was happy to watch some great golf. On the other, I kept wondering what am I doing here?!

I played quickly, observed proper etiquette, and made small talk with everyone, and I did get the invite back. But I have never, in all of my 13 years of golfing, played with someone who has broken par. It was quite the experience. Now I'm motivated to get better!
[/quote]

I have no problem playing the tee box that is suitable to my game. I played with two GolfWRX gentlemen who played the nose bleed tees, and that is where they should have played (they were longer than GolfWRX long). I played the middle tees, and felt no "dorkiness" at all.

Don't know why you would feel like a "dork".

As to playing with better players, I usually play with a + , and a low single digit, so I am a bit use to that.

Regardless, I always play the tees that are suitable to my game. I'm not an idiot. :-)

[Hellstorm]

Playing with better players can only benefit your game. I know when I have played with better players, it has helped me stay more focused and helped me develop a much better playing rhythm than when I am out wiht my friends who are not as good. I have been able to transfer that rhythm to my game more and it has helped me out a ton. Keep up with those guys and you will certainly improve.

[Wknd_Warrior]

I had something very much like that happen to me. I got invited to a local skins game, it was a great deal on a real course.

Now I'm as long as anyone this side of Bubba (well maybe not quite, but you get the idea) and I was playing ok back then but struggling with the driver, as always. When I caught a groove it was effortless, if not, look out.

I'm also used to being the big fish. I thought it was a local round setup by a small social group, turns out it was all the local low AMs in the area, including some big names in these parts, a guy who played a couple years on the PGA etc, you get the idea. Half these guys were around scratch, a few opf them were probably pluses. I didn't know this at the time.

So me and the guy who invited me try to sort of which tees I'm going to play. I've never got to play a 7000+ course before so I wanna play the tips. His asks me about my game, I try to answer honesty, but instead if giving a realistic account of my game I casually mention my last round was a 90 at such and such a course. While not even a good round for me, for some reason I thought it would at least identify me as someone who could hit the ball (ironically), I was being a bit modest, probably a good thing as it turns out.

He wants me to play the blues, but I muscle my way onto the tips with these guys anyhow, still not knowing what I'm in for. We go 6 off the last tee at the end of the party since it's more fun that way and there's no one behind us. These guys all play fast anyhow, it was never a concern. I sat there and watched everyone carry the ball 275+ off the first tee and then it was my turn lol. I've never been that nervous on the tee box, ever, not before or since. I manged to hit the ball but it was way right.

Long story short I managed an 11 on the first hole. I played scary bad all day and the course was unrelenting. The issue of my blades came up as well. I dumped most of my approaches short, was swinging too hard, hit someone with a bunker shot, probably talked about how better I normally play. Really, all I was missing in my bid to be poser of the year was a white belt and my name on the bag. Turns out the guy who's invitation I answered was one of, if not the leading, low amateur around here. His buddy, another in our sixsome had played professionally etc...

I shot 110+, I was probably around a 13 at the time. I did actually win a skin though, somehow

[EJ Mac]

Great story and definitely learn to play your game in your comfort level. I have recently started playing in the Men's league and they are all adamant about everyone just playing their game. We have a skins game on the weekends that I am unable to partake in due to work, but was able to play Friday in it. I had roughly the same experience you had, but mine was exhaustion and not nerves. Do continue to play with the lower digit guys every chance you get as you will learn so much from playing with them. If they are like the ones here they don't give a rip about your score as long as your etiquette is in check you are golden. Again thanks for the great read.

[Ruddy]

Just because some players are good doesn't mean they have manners, or even ettiquette. I joined a group of good club players on the 4th hole. One guy was the club champ several times. Another is a single digit. The third I didn't know. I am a 12. I knew it would stress my game, but I thought, what the hell it'll be good for me. I hang in from #4 to #15, when a big slice gets away from me. Woods and pretty deep rough. Two guys, (not the champ), come over to the right edge and look mildly curious, but Mr. Champ just keeps on moving up the fairway towards his ball. They give it about 30 seconds of half-look, then move back to the fairway. I was flustered, but dropped and hit 3, make double or triple, my worst of the day. Coming back down #16, parallel to #15, I intentionally hit to right side. Go over and find me ball from #15, not even a bad lie. I tell them to go on without me. Played my original ball up #15, still made triple. But hey, now I know just how truly sympathetic those guys are, so I don't feel bad. I am trying to learn and improve, and those guys just couldn't be bothered. I now make an extra effort to help out beginning players.

[vbb]

[quote name='Sean2' timestamp='1404692355' post='9648671']

I have no problem playing the tee box that is suitable to my game. I played with two GolfWRX gentlemen who played the nose bleed tees, and that is where they should have played (they were longer than GolfWRX long). I played the middle tees, and felt no "dorkiness" at all.

Don't know why you would feel like a "dork".

As to playing with better players, I usually play with a + , and a low single digit, so I am a bit use to that.

Regardless, I always play the tees that are suitable to my game. I'm not an idiot. :-)
[/quote] Ok some explanation may be in order. I am a fan of playing the right tees as well, and it really wasn't about feeling like a dork... poor choice of words on my part. There are 5 tees, with the tips #1 and the reds #5. I usually play the middle tees, but all of the events at my club have the men playing from the #2 set, just in front of the tips. I wasn't going to insist I play from the middle tees, especially since I am the new guy, and while not a big hitter, I'm not completely overmatched at 6500yds either. Other than the drives I duffed or hit way offline, I had 7iron or less into every par 4, and the longest par 3 was playing around 175yds today. There are only 4 holes that seem to eat up the majority of that ~400yd difference, one of which is a three shot par five no matter what tees you play.

[Altiman94]

I'm usually the better player in the groups I play with. Not saying much (3 HC) and most of my regular partners are work buddies and/or have small kids and not much time to play. As long as the play isn't any slower - I don't mind who I'm being paired up with. But once I'm expected to help everyone in the group find their balls and read their putts - it gets a bit draining. Not making mistakes is what usually separates a lower single digit handicap and a mid teens handicap.

I do find that I concentrate more when playing with people better than I. You also see more good shots during a round and I feel like that will spill into my own game.

[losefreeze33]

Great story and I can definitely relate. I am a 16 HDCP but play with a few friends that are low singles. Funny enough I usually shoot better when I play with them rather than the high HDCP and I definitely think it has to do with focus. Also I definitely have picked up a few pointers like others have stated with just accepting a bogey and moving on rather than trying for the hero par that turns into a triple. The one this I have always noticed weather it is good or avg players the one "no-no" is that awful par 3 over water image of someone duffing it. But that is all in good fun bc we have all done it and it is a usual "thanks for that image" blast but what is a good round without a bit of jabbing. Keep at it and good for you in stepping out there and joining a league. Best thing I ever did. Now you just have to ignore the urge to "improve your game" with new clubs from what you read out here

[Chief Illiniwek]

I can (somewhat) relate to this story in reverse. I'm no scratch player, but I can get it around ok. I played with a guy last week and he was a good time. Friendly, didnt get mad at bad shots, played at a good pace (think we played in about 3.5) and when all was said and done he had shot a 109. Like some others had mentioned, sometimes you don't even realize a guy is good until the end of the round when you add up the scores and he's shot a 72. Well this was kinda the opposite. I didn't realize this guy had scored that high. If you had told me after the round that he had broke 100 I would've believed it. I guess the point I'm trying to make is if you're good company and keep up, most people don't care what you shoot, or even particularly care.

[axer13]

I know exactly how you feel. I played with 3 + handicappers recently and they shot 64, 68, and 72. It wasn't too bad when I was playing good on the front hitting like 7 greens but when I started struggling on the back I started feeling the nerves because it felt like they never missed a shot and hit every green. Let me know quickly I have a long way to go with my game. It was still a lot of fun and I'd do it again because can always learn a lot from playing with better players.

[vbb]

It's like running... it's uncomfortable while I'm doing it, but the more I do it the better I get at it, and I know it is good for me. And I figure if I keep at it, I'll improve. I'm looking forward to trying again next week. While we all have that shot or two that "keeps us coming back" it's even more rewarding to hit a shot like that in front of people that are better than you, and have them be genuinely impressed by your shot. It makes you feel like the good golfer is somewhere inside and you just need to bring him out.

[Sean2]

[quote name='vbb' timestamp='1404696612' post='9649155']
[quote name='Sean2' timestamp='1404692355' post='9648671']
I have no problem playing the tee box that is suitable to my game. I played with two GolfWRX gentlemen who played the nose bleed tees, and that is where they should have played (they were longer than GolfWRX long). I played the middle tees, and felt no "dorkiness" at all.

Don't know why you would feel like a "dork".

As to playing with better players, I usually play with a + , and a low single digit, so I am a bit use to that.

Regardless, I always play the tees that are suitable to my game. I'm not an idiot. :-)
[/quote] Ok some explanation may be in order. I am a fan of playing the right tees as well, and it really wasn't about feeling like a dork... poor choice of words on my part. There are 5 tees, with the tips #1 and the reds #5. I usually play the middle tees, but all of the events at my club have the men playing from the #2 set, just in front of the tips. I wasn't going to insist I play from the middle tees, especially since I am the new guy, and while not a big hitter, I'm not completely overmatched at 6500yds either. Other than the drives I duffed or hit way offline, I had 7iron or less into every par 4, and the longest par 3 was playing around 175yds today. There are only 4 holes that seem to eat up the majority of that ~400yd difference, one of which is a three shot par five no matter what tees you play.
[/quote]

Sounds like you were playing the correct tees then if you had a mid iron or less in your hand for most par fours.

Nicely done. :-)

[vbb]

I'm going to play the blues instead of the whites for awhile and see how that treats me. Better get used to the looks from those tees anyway if I want to keep playing.

By the way, an update, I found out that one of the guys in the group is actually a pro that occasionally plays on the mini tours, is the former club champ, and is like a +2.5 capper. A couple of the other guys were lower than 4. A lot of the guys were also in the 10-14 range though, so I just happened to see some of the best players at our club at the same time. No wonder I felt intimidated!

[pwmartin]

It's all relative, and don't think they can't put up some big numbers. Look at some numbers the Tour guys shoot sometime. You'll see a 62 and a 76 the following day. Those single digit guys will most assured have some 85 + rounds.

[bladehunter]

hang in there you are absolutely doing the right thing in playing with better players...It WILL improve your game....if you hang around and be the big fish in a little pond you will never get better....I am doing this myself...Been playing with several + handicaps and boy am I learning where to be conservative and where to place the ball on the green (proximity etc) ...I can also tell you the first Tee I played with those guys my hands shook so I couldn't put the ball on the Tee...and I actually blew up on the 1st hole and doubled a par 5..... after my tee shot on 2nd hole I got mad at myself and had a little conversation with myself that basically said "you can do this, these guys are human same as you" and proceeded to birdie the next 2 and finish the front 2 back of the lead guy tied with the other 2....it was then I knew ii COULD play with these guys.....at the time I was a 4 handicap..ive dropped since the start of spring and if I get complete control of driver and make some 1 putts ill drop some more... anyway point is challenge yourself , its the only way to improve

[Conrad1953]

Great post vbb. On the PGA Tour radio a few weeks ago I was
listening to the Beemer and the Bald Guy radio show. It's Rich
Beem and Sandy Mcilry(the bald guy).

Now Sandy is an 18 HC whose played much golf with Rich...and
many other tour pros and ex-pros. He never gets intimidated
playing with them cause, well, you know, no doubt whose the
pro and who isn't. No pressure.

But he said, you put him in a club event, pair him with some
low single HCs and he gets so nervous he can hardly get the
tee in the ground. Said he feels like he's out of his league playing
with them.

Just shows you what your mind can do when expectations and
pressure enter the equation. He never feels that playing with a
pro but get him around some decent ams and he gets intimidated.

[llewol007]

Only way to realize we need improvement is to play with those better than us. Sometimes we get complacent with our game especially if we play with the same guys every week. Same thing happens to me every so often when my buddy invites a friend of ours who is a not a mini tour player but should be albeit to financial more than skill reasons comes out and plays with us. Through out the round, I am saying to myself as he is hitting different shots into the greens i.e. drawing and fading the ball at will. There is a "no fear" mentality when you get to solid game like he has. He smashes the ball which is amazing, but the thing that is impressive is that every time you think he would drop a shot on a bad lie, he comes back and nails his next shot to save par or even birdie. Its fun to watch and I often use it as a reality check and a motivator. Great thing about him is that he is willing to share his talent and is always positive about the game. Sick to watch sometimes but you bet your dollar I would not mind having his skill set for sure.

[401Betterthanmost]

Just joined the forum a week or so ago and this is the first time I have sat down to browse the forums. This post has already made me glad I joined, nice to see an honest post with such good feedback as well.


Great job getting out of your comfort zone and handling yourself well!

[596]

Got paired with a guy the other day that stood 6'-6" and young!! Making a long story short, he was pro for awhile before he got his am status back. It was extremely intimidating when he played from the back tees and out drove me by over 100 yards on every hole, and I was playing a box up from him. He easily drove 3 par 4's from the back tees. His tee shots were not super high, but medium flight, went up and just friggin flew forever. He was driving 350 yard par 4's. Didn't even swing hard.....just very long arms and a huge swing arc.

It really was a totally different game for him. He was putting from 20 feet for eagle on his approach shots and I was hitting a PW from 120.