Wife accused me loving golf too much

[lchang]

[size=4]Ok I was expecting the ratio of tongue-in-cheek-to-serious responses to be about 20x larger than this.

Sorry to whoever said I disappeared (it's been less than a day and I've had a busy day!)

So, thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I wasn't actually looking for marriage counseling from golfwrx'ers (although obviously that's how many of you interpreted it.). All of those emoticons in my post were supposed to indicate a level of silliness in my message that obviously didn't come through.

And my throw-away comment about shooting that bad 95 yesterday (currently an 11 index)--I didn't expect to be ridiculed by the former plus handicapper that somehow my golf time is less "worth it" than his. I don't love golf any less. Jeezus.[/size]

[size=4]Anyway, of course, balance is the answer. We have some flavor of this conversation somewhat periodically. I resolve to put more effort into family activity planning, but usually lapse. We actually have a very strong marriage and have above-average functional communication (IMO). We have two great kids and have been married for 13 years. I've played 36 rounds this year, but, until yesterday, none since Thanksgiving weekend. I made that original post more for catharsis than for advice. So, again, thanks for the thoughtful advice. But you can stop now. Unless you have something pithy and funny. If you want to write something long and thoughtful, of course, feel free--I just want to tell you that (as far as I know), I'm not in that much emotional or marital jeopardy. And if you want to make fun of how much of a hack I am, of course, do that, too, but it just seems gratuitous.[/size]

[Break81]

I guess I am lucky my wife loves to spend time with her mom and sister to the point I think it's a bit unhealthy. You know like they not only talk on the phone and text multiple times a day, they hang out 3-4 times a week. In fact my mother in law came over Christmas day and is still here! She didn't plan it, it just "happened". lol

In a weird way golf has become my mistress in part to my wife wanting to spend so much time with her family and she knows I like her family but not to that level. So she never complains if I go golfing or to a hockey game without her because she always has something she likes to do. The relationship I had before my wife, the woman wasn't really close with her family and back then I golfed a lot less, because her and I were doing other things together more often.

My only advise is spend more time with your wife and make her happy and also gently, very gently encourage her to hang out with her friends or to develop a hobby of her own. Lastly, you can still enjoy this game even with less time consumption. It's about quality golf time and practice and not quantity of time.

[Reasonability]

[quote name='lchang' timestamp='1451363706' post='12774456']
[size=4]Ok I was expecting the ratio of tongue-in-cheek-to-serious responses to be about 20x larger than this.

Sorry to whoever said I disappeared (it's been less than a day and I've had a busy day!)

So, thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I wasn't actually looking for marriage counseling from golfwrx'ers (although obviously that's how many of you interpreted it.). All of those emoticons in my post were supposed to indicate a level of silliness in my message that obviously didn't come through.

And my throw-away comment about shooting that bad 95 yesterday (currently an 11 index)--I didn't expect to be ridiculed by the former plus handicapper that somehow my golf time is less "worth it" than his. I don't love golf any less. Jeezus.[/size]

[size=4]Anyway, of course, balance is the answer. We have some flavor of this conversation somewhat periodically. I resolve to put more effort into family activity planning, but usually lapse. We actually have a very strong marriage and have above-average functional communication (IMO). We have two great kids and have been married for 13 years. I've played 36 rounds this year, but, until yesterday, none since Thanksgiving weekend. I made that original post more for catharsis than for advice. So, again, thanks for the thoughtful advice. But you can stop now. Unless you have something pithy and funny. If you want to write something long and thoughtful, of course, feel free--I just want to tell you that (as far as I know), I'm not in that much emotional or marital jeopardy. And if you want to make fun of how much of a hack I am, of course, do that, too, but it just seems gratuitous.[/size]
[/quote]

LOL - I avoided touching this thread for the very reasons you just posted. Sometimes a little fun in starting a thread (more for laughs) cascades into a lot more (or sometimes a lot less) than was actually intended. So it happens my wife loves me and loves golf. She is very supportive of me getting out there - so period - the end on that front. Now if you're fishing for a little tongue-in-cheek answers for grins and giggles... here ya go....

Honey, its not that I actually "love" golf more than you. It's just that my golf clubs have never once told me they have a headache.

[Nick6771]

[quote name='Pondy' timestamp='1451302684' post='12770996']
[quote name='Nick6771' timestamp='1451291938' post='12770848']
You'll miss her when she's gone. Trust me on this.
[/quote]

No, you won't. Trust me on this.

I divorced my PIA 15 years ago. Just me, myself, and my cat now, and he doesn't care how much I golf, as long as his food dish is full when I leave.
[/quote]

I don't know your personal circumstances but the OP's wording doesn't indicate to me that its all about to fall apart. If you are happier off on your own then fair play to you.

[Soloman1]

There are a couple billion women on the planet to choose from, but only one golf.

"Yo, I'm playin' golf tomorrow. Wash my clothes, clean my clubs and make me a sandwich, woman."

You know you want to say it.

[Roody]

[quote name='golfgirlrobin' timestamp='1451348784' post='12773466']
You know who the really happily married guys are? The ones who actually look forward to spending time with their wives, who have wives who encourage you to spend time doing stuff you love, with wives who aren't keeping a running total of how much time is spent on work versus them or golf versus them?

The guys for whom that best friend and that wife are the same person.
[/quote]
Bingo!

A great marriage doesn't feel like a chore, or work. Marriage doesn't have to be hard at all. And it isn't if you've found the right person.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='sheldonjhacker' timestamp='1451332825' post='12772514']
^^^ this ! My sister has been married twice, my brother also twice. They both tell me to stay single...and enjoy my golf. My dad used to tell my brother and I that "marriage is good...for girls".
[/quote]Bro, There are some nice posts to this subject namely Jeff above me and I can only speak to myself however like Turbo, I have remained single up to and into my 50's. It was my choice. Some things happened in my personal life that I obviously carried with me though I never spoke of them or even realized that they had affected my thinking or my actions.

I came as close as one week before the big day before bowing out....

She was an amazing girl-

Bright, Outgoing, Beautiful, Successful, and the most critical factor to me- She was secure in who she was and she did not NEED me- I do not need "yes" men or women around me. I got all the affirmation I need when I look in the mirror

For me, this was critical because I have always been who I am and while I have changed over the years and decades, ie., curbed my temper, become less self-centered, prioritized, basically done what my sig says, the one thing that has not changed is that though I joke about mailing in my man card, my personality is what it is, as in I have an aversion to authority, while I can run with the herd and play well with others, I am not a sheep and while I never have had to be in the front of the room, if I should end up there, I need someone who is not intimidated by that and what it brings-

I hope that that makes sense-

The first girl that I was engaged to had it all-

As I said, incredible Girl!

But I had too much baggage and couldn't leave it at the curb-

So 20+ years went by and along with em a lot of sweet Ladies and a few not so sweet, lol-

As I've said, I was the king of the 2-3 year relationship and out.....

Then I met the Girl that I'm with now and soon to be married to-

She has it all, and the best is that she doesn't need to be with me, for ANY reason-

She WANTS to be with me-

She doesn't want to change me, and the changes that I've spoken of on the board were ones that I felt that I had to make to be a better fiancé, husband and father to her children-

And I'll admit something Bro-

Four bouts of cancer in 6 years and a stroke changed me too.....

Changed me a lot-

I've never NEEDED someone by my side-

I can walk into any room, any where, any time and again, I do not make a conscious concerted effort, however I will, in all likelihood, leave that room having met, spoken with and had great dialogues with a few people.

And some of those peeps I have taken into my inner circle and call them Friends, with a few being in my BFF circle, led by My Bro and Dave.

But as I lay there in a hospital bed, with thoughts of anger, fear, at times hopelessness and then then finally of hope and faith, I realized that I was alone-

Sure, my parents were there...

Yea, my Bros and Sis was there....

Yep, more people than I ever realized called, stopped by or sent flowers.....

Believe me, every single one made a difference and I thank God for bringing them into my life....

But ya know what I missed?

Really, what I'd never had, having walked away the one time that I had her-

I missed having someone to look into my eyes and say, "it's ok, no matter what happens, no matter where you end up, no matter what shape you're in, I'll be there. I'll always be by your side."

Bro, I'm not a "needy" guy-

You're just gonna have to trust me here...

But 53yo, I needed that....

Badly!!

And I need it today-

And I have it!!

Nomatter what, no matter when, no matter why, she's there!!

I've always been a confident guy, for that I've definitely been blessed, though the last 6 years have shaken me and shown me that I ain't all that-

SHE has shown me that I am-

Oh, and the icing on the cake?

She golfs and she can beat 99%+ of the guy's a**** out there, lmao

And Bro, if your father had listened to his own advice, you probably wouldn't be here

So I wish you the very best and truly hope that You find HER.....

Trust me again Bro, you'll know if ya do...

Well, best wishes for a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous year ahead

Fairways & Greens 4ever My Friend,
Richard

[lchang]

Thanks to the last few posters for lightening the tone to what I was hoping for--and to the nice guy who PM'ed me the same. Indeed, in his words, I was just "anticipating other golf addicts to share their non-marriage threatening stories." And I really like the silly one-liners, too!

Edit: obviously I was composing at the same time as Roody and Forged and was referring to the posts before theirs. Ha!

[Llortamaisey]

I have a lot of acting to do in my life. My girlfriend hates my golf addiction too. On the other hand, my wife couldn't care less if I go play golf.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='Llortamaisey' timestamp='1451399918' post='12775214']
I have a lot of acting to do in my life. My girlfriend hates my golf addiction too. On the other hand, my wife couldn't care less if I go play golf.
[/quote]LMAO, there's probably a real good reason that your wife could care less, and don't ever forget Bro....

Ladies invented "faking it"

Happy New Year Bro

All the Best,
RP

[sheldonjhacker]

[quote name='Llortamaisey' timestamp='1451399918' post='12775214']
I have a lot of acting to do in my life. My girlfriend hates my golf addiction too. On the other hand, my wife couldn't care less if I go play golf.
[/quote]
Finally some humor I've been waiting and hoping for !

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='nova6868' timestamp='1451333537' post='12772570']
[quote name='sheldonjhacker' timestamp='1451332825' post='12772514']
^^^ this ! My sister has been married twice, my brother also twice. They both tell me to stay single...and enjoy my golf. My dad used to tell my brother and I that "marriage is good...for girls".
[/quote]

If you aren't having kids it's a great deal for women and a poor deal for men. I mean think about it, what does the woman get? She gets a man to support her financially and emotionally. In fact he has to support her financially, that's part of the deal. Every man understands that. Even if you get divorced you are likely still going to be supporting her financially. She gets the security of having you legally supporting her.

What does the man get in this situation? You've signed off other women but still physically need sex. Is your wife devoted to providing for you in this regard? Nope. Maybe 80 years ago, not anymore. How about supporting you financially? Nope. Being your partner and being nice to you? Sure, maybe. But she was these things outside of marriage.
[/quote]LMAO, Bro, I hope that you're being sarcastic here, lol

That's why I hate this medium of communication versus us sitting around a table where we can easily see sarcasm(well that and I'm guessing 60-70% of ya wouldn't dare have the stones to chirp some of the stuff that a fake avatar and UN gives you the power to say, LMAO)....

Cuz Bro, if this is your reality, that's on you-

There are Bright, Beautiful, Successful and Loving Ladies in just about every room that ya walk into-

You just one, have the self confidence to approach em and two, not be a dips*** when ya open your mouth-

I've found that the majority of guys, just as they have in every other area of their lives, have "settled" for a woman-

It's a damn shame but it's better that way cuz I'm a firm believer in Karma and ya get what you deserve-

But if ya were serious in your post, all I'll say is think of what the poor Lady who ended up with the clown you described above is goin through, LMAO

Oh Lord, do I feel for her

I'm taking it that you were being sarcastic and light hearted, lol

Stay Well Bro and Happy New Year

Fairways & Greens 4ever My Friend,
RP

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='sheldonjhacker' timestamp='1451402525' post='12775388']
[quote name='Llortamaisey' timestamp='1451399918' post='12775214']
I have a lot of acting to do in my life. My girlfriend hates my golf addiction too. On the other hand, my wife couldn't care less if I go play golf.
[/quote]
Finally some humor I've been waiting and hoping for !
[/quote]Believe me Bro, I've got a decent sense of humor and I think that the best threads threads are a mix of light hearted and serious comments-

Some Guys actually do come to the board looking for a serious answer, even if it's not the OP(I am not directing this at Chang)-

There are a lot of young members and while I can joke with the best of em, well, there are certain subjects that humor takes a back seat for me.

I've also found in the real world that the guys who are so jovial, sarcastic and humorous on this subject, well, their personal lives look like a frickin battlefield, with all the casualties, lol

Now I find that funny as s***, LMAO

Stay Well My Friend & keep Swingin

All the Best,
RP

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='Skaffa77' timestamp='1451339418' post='12772864']
I'm roughly about 2 years out from my divorce...and I recall her words, "I wish you loved me as much as you love golf." While I was married, I played a ton of golf and spent even more hours at the range...I poured myself into the obsession. Based on that statement and my obsession, one can assume golf was a pivotal reason why the marriage failed...

The odd part...I always thought post-divorce, I would have so much more time to play even more golf and I would put even more time into it, but I didn't. In my newfound single-life, I found many other activities, hobbies and friends to put my time to.

I realized a couple things: 1. I knew it wasn't about the golf as there were so many fundamental things in our marriage that failed and 2. Golf was my outlet/escape for a marriage falling apart.

I'm now engaged to a different girl and it's amazing to see how much different this relationship is...it's actually easy to be in this relationship and I understand what others meant when they say it should be easy. I do recognize that all relationships are work, but in this case...easy is relative and this fundamentally feels different.

With that said, my finace is much more supportive of the hobbies and friendships I have and even likes to play golf with me. She has her own hobbies as well (she coaches a girls trap shooting team amongst other things). I haven't poured myself into golf like I did previously, but I have strong hunch that we'd proactively communicate if I needed some level of balance with my golf hobby and my relationship.


Here are my thoughts which are similar to what many others have already stated: 1. I wouldn't trade a marriage or family for golf...especially if you have kids. 2. All marriages need some level of expectations, acceptance and balance/compromise from both partners. 3. Lastly, it's important to find a partner that has (non-physical) attritubes and qualities that make you happy/compatible (and visa-versa) and they love you for who you are.
[/quote]

Any woman that enjoys playing golf and shooting probably has worthy character qualities, as well. It's always good to have different interests, as that is what keeps things interesting. An easy relationship typically means neither person is high maintenance or needy.. that's a good thing.

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='Musky' timestamp='1451356838' post='12773994']
Teach your wife to play golf. When your kids are old enough, teach them to play golf. It's simple/
[/quote]

NEVER, I repeat, NEVER teach your wife anything. Get her a teacher. Teaching children is another subject.

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='Hawkeye77' timestamp='1451357216' post='12774018']
Wow, I'm learning a lot. Divorce leads to living with cats (shoot me before that happens), Pepperturbo interviewed prospective mates for decades (who would have guessed?) but enough teasing . . and then there's the OP, who has disappeared.

OP, if "family" means you have kids and you are serious about pretending to like golf less and that's all you've got - you got problems.

[b]I never really take those seeking relationship advice from strangers seriously[/b]. Relationships are give and take, OP sounds like "taking" a hike may be the next communication he won't have a clue is coming before he hears it.
[/quote]

I agree with the bold statement. As for my lengthy bachelor life; I knew early on my businesses needed lots of attention, and I might not make it back home from some travels. It was best to stay a bachelor till such time as I had time to invest. In my circle of life long friends most married within ten years after college.. go figure.

[Skaffa77]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1451412737' post='12776054']
[quote name='Skaffa77' timestamp='1451339418' post='12772864']
I'm roughly about 2 years out from my divorce...and I recall her words, "I wish you loved me as much as you love golf." While I was married, I played a ton of golf and spent even more hours at the range...I poured myself into the obsession. Based on that statement and my obsession, one can assume golf was a pivotal reason why the marriage failed...

The odd part...I always thought post-divorce, I would have so much more time to play even more golf and I would put even more time into it, but I didn't. In my newfound single-life, I found many other activities, hobbies and friends to put my time to.

I realized a couple things: 1. I knew it wasn't about the golf as there were so many fundamental things in our marriage that failed and 2. Golf was my outlet/escape for a marriage falling apart.

I'm now engaged to a different girl and it's amazing to see how much different this relationship is...it's actually easy to be in this relationship and I understand what others meant when they say it should be easy. I do recognize that all relationships are work, but in this case...easy is relative and this fundamentally feels different.

With that said, my finace is much more supportive of the hobbies and friendships I have and even likes to play golf with me. She has her own hobbies as well (she coaches a girls trap shooting team amongst other things). I haven't poured myself into golf like I did previously, but I have strong hunch that we'd proactively communicate if I needed some level of balance with my golf hobby and my relationship.


Here are my thoughts which are similar to what many others have already stated: 1. I wouldn't trade a marriage or family for golf...especially if you have kids. 2. All marriages need some level of expectations, acceptance and balance/compromise from both partners. 3. Lastly, it's important to find a partner that has (non-physical) attritubes and qualities that make you happy/compatible (and visa-versa) and they love you for who you are.
[/quote]

Any woman that enjoys playing golf and shooting probably has worthy character qualities, as well. It's always good to have different interests, as that is what keeps things interesting. An easy relationship typically means neither person is high maintenance or needy.. that's a good thing.
[/quote]

She likes cigars too...still trying to help her understand the joys of a good scotch.

[Skaffa77]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1451412968' post='12776074']
[quote name='Musky' timestamp='1451356838' post='12773994']
Teach your wife to play golf. When your kids are old enough, teach them to play golf. It's simple/
[/quote]

NEVER, I repeat, NEVER teach your wife anything. Get her a teacher. Teaching children is another subject.
[/quote]

Spoken like a man with experience. This applies even more so to golf...teaching a significant other to golf is like putting your hand into a garbage disposal. You know the risk and the potential harm...yet many folks choose to do it anyway.

[Hawkeye77]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1451413797' post='12776132']
[quote name='Hawkeye77' timestamp='1451357216' post='12774018']
Wow, I'm learning a lot. Divorce leads to living with cats (shoot me before that happens), Pepperturbo interviewed prospective mates for decades (who would have guessed?) but enough teasing . . and then there's the OP, who has disappeared.

OP, if "family" means you have kids and you are serious about pretending to like golf less and that's all you've got - you got problems.

[b]I never really take those seeking relationship advice from strangers seriously[/b]. Relationships are give and take, OP sounds like "taking" a hike may be the next communication he won't have a clue is coming before he hears it.
[/quote]

I agree with the bold statement. As for my lengthy bachelor life; I knew early on my businesses needed lots of attention, and I might not make it back home from some travels. It was best to stay a bachelor till such time as I had time to invest. In my circle of life long friends most married within ten years after college.. go figure.
[/quote]

As I said, just teasing, and glad you got that. :-)

[Hawkeye77]

And since it turns out OP was just kind of teasing us, I'm glad golf isn't really coming between anyone.

Get your kids interested and then you get a free pass to play with them - you'll never regret any extra time with them, no matter what you do together.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='Skaffa77' timestamp='1451415728' post='12776244']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1451412968' post='12776074']
[quote name='Musky' timestamp='1451356838' post='12773994']
Teach your wife to play golf. When your kids are old enough, teach them to play golf. It's simple/
[/quote]

NEVER, I repeat, NEVER teach your wife anything. Get her a teacher. Teaching children is another subject.
[/quote]

Spoken like a man with experience. This applies even more so to golf...teaching a significant other to golf is like putting your hand into a garbage disposal. You know the risk and the potential harm...yet many folks choose to do it anyway.
[/quote]Great analogy Bro, lol!!

Very Well played!!

What I find so amusing is that I always see all these Guuys "teaching" their Sig Others on the practice tee or course and forgetting that virtually none are qualified to teach anything in the game to anyone, lmao, and that 98% of every guy that plants a tee cannot break 100 playin it down and in, well, you see where I'm comin from, lol.

No wonder a lot of Ladies who take up the game and are "taught" by their Sig Others get frustrated, grow disenchanted and either rarely play or quit.

Madison sees it all of the time on the practice tee.

It's that warped sense of chivalry, lol

Yea Babeeeee, lol

FWIW, little Ava(6yo) has expressed an interest in the game and I bought her a Junior set for Christmas-

She told Madison that she preferred that I teach her versus Maddie, as she said, "I love you best as my mommy but want Richard to teach me," lol

Well, I worked with her a bit however I'm obviously not qualified to teach her and told her this so Maddie's good friend is going to work with her, lol(she's pictured below with Madison on Maddie's BDay Girls' night out)

Madison is glad to have someone she is close to to teach Ava because She didn't really want to take on that role.

Happy New year Bro

Fairways & Greens My Friend,
RP

[ZAP]

Call me shallow but I told my wife I would not have asked her to marry me if she didn't play golf and understand my passion for it.
She thinks I was joking.
I was not.
I do not have an unlimited free pass to play all the golf I want. But we do have a standing date night every Thursday evening. When it is warm enough we play golf and when it isn't we do other things.

The only advice I can give the OP is to spend some time helping his wife find some things to do outside of the house and away from the kids as well. You have to work together as a team or else it will totally suck.

[8thehardway]

For a good marriage, treat your wife like you treat your clubs... take them out of the trunk once a week, play a round with them for four or five hours and clean them up after your done.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='lchang' timestamp='1451363706' post='12774456']
[size=4]Ok I was expecting the ratio of tongue-in-cheek-to-serious responses to be about 20x larger than this.

Sorry to whoever said I disappeared (it's been less than a day and I've had a busy day!)

So, thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I wasn't actually looking for marriage counseling from golfwrx'ers (although obviously that's how many of you interpreted it.). All of those emoticons in my post were supposed to indicate a level of silliness in my message that obviously didn't come through.

And my throw-away comment about shooting that bad 95 yesterday (currently an 11 index)--I didn't expect to be ridiculed by the former plus handicapper that somehow my golf time is less "worth it" than his. I don't love golf any less. Jeezus.[/size]

[size=4]Anyway, of course, balance is the answer. We have some flavor of this conversation somewhat periodically. I resolve to put more effort into family activity planning, but usually lapse. We actually have a very strong marriage and have above-average functional communication (IMO). We have two great kids and have been married for 13 years. I've played 36 rounds this year, but, until yesterday, none since Thanksgiving weekend. I made that original post more for catharsis than for advice. So, again, thanks for the thoughtful advice. But you can stop now. Unless you have something pithy and funny. If you want to write something long and thoughtful, of course, feel free--I just want to tell you that (as far as I know), I'm not in that much emotional or marital jeopardy. And if you want to make fun of how much of a hack I am, of course, do that, too, but it just seems gratuitous.[/size]
[/quote]Ok, this shines a whole new light on the situation-

Not that you were kidding, that's irrelevant

That you're an 11, at least puts ya in the ballpark where the game may be worth more than the lady with a little more work(short game/putting, mental game and PSR Bro, seriously )!! You're not there yet, though you're not a chop, lol

Considering that 98% don't break 100, you're good

With every new year brings new hope and optimism in most areas of our lives!!

The fact that most continue to do the same things the same ways yet are optimistic that there will be improved outcomes in the future is indeed impressive though it's probably why their games and personal lives are like a good train wreck-

Sort like must see TV but ya thank the good Lord above that it's not you

Well, as 50-55% of marriages end in divorce and while yours is obviously not one of them, there are some solid thoughts and posts and if they make just one guy in the future stop, think and change course, hey, then this would REALLY be a kick a** thread .

Oh, and one's competency level is irrelevant in a serious discussion on this matter, as I too was being facetious

Hey, it ain't the first time I took the bait and it won't be the last....

I'm good with it

And that someone would take the thoughtfulness, energy and time to construct a whole tongue in cheek thread on this subject is not often done, so hats off

Happy New Year Bro and a Great Year ahead!!

All the Best,
RP

[Titleist 670]

In general, I've never understood why guys who want to do guy stuff all the time bother getting married. Why not stay single and do whatever you want all the time? If you don't like family activities, etc. nearly as much as playing golf, why bother with it?

[Pepperturbo]

@Titleist670 - Good point, except your statement seems black or white.

Again, I didn't marry till in my 40's to a women that plays golf; but not so much to maintain my guy things. After school, building my career and businesses took a great deal of energy, focus and financial resources, that otherwise would have taken a serious toll on a family, if I had one. Also, I still made trips where I didn't know when or if I'd make it back home. I didn't want to impose any of those conditions on anyone, and was never one for multiple divorces, so staying single was good judgment.

Still, if the right two people get together, marriage should not mean he gives up his stuff or she gives up her stuff. Its emotionally healthy for each person to maintain old friendships, and have outside activities away from their spouse, even during child rearing years.

[bazinky]

I've had two friends whose wives complained that they played too much golf:

Friend A plays 18-36 on Saturday, 18 on Sunday in season and travels during the week for work (where he also gets to play client golf). They have young kids at home, too. He's a fun guy, but pretty narcissistic. Makes decent bank, which is probably the only reason he's still married. I've also heard a rumour that she may have a special "friend" if you know what I mean ...

Friend B plays at most once a month. His wife is a complete shrew. Perfect example. He gets a day off from work mid-week, kids are in school, and the wife goes ballistic because he wanted to play golf instead of spending it repainting a bathroom. I can't for the life of me understand why he stays married, other than the kids. Great guy, does everything for his family (wife doesn't work, either) and I can only figure that the wife pulled a bait-and-switch while they were dating ...

Moral of the story, find the right girl or partner, and don't abuse it!

[ChipDriver]

[quote name='lchang' timestamp='1451363706' post='12774456']
[size=4]Ok I was expecting the ratio of tongue-in-cheek-to-serious responses to be about 20x larger than this.

Sorry to whoever said I disappeared (it's been less than a day and I've had a busy day!)

So, thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I wasn't actually looking for marriage counseling from golfwrx'ers (although obviously that's how many of you interpreted it.). All of those emoticons in my post were supposed to indicate a level of silliness in my message that obviously didn't come through.

And my throw-away comment about shooting that bad 95 yesterday (currently an 11 index)--I didn't expect to be ridiculed by the former plus handicapper that somehow my golf time is less "worth it" than his. I don't love golf any less. Jeezus.[/size]

[size=4]Anyway, of course, balance is the answer. We have some flavor of this conversation somewhat periodically. I resolve to put more effort into family activity planning, but usually lapse. We actually have a very strong marriage and have above-average functional communication (IMO). We have two great kids and have been married for 13 years. I've played 36 rounds this year, but, until yesterday, none since Thanksgiving weekend. I made that original post more for catharsis than for advice. So, again, thanks for the thoughtful advice. But you can stop now. Unless you have something pithy and funny. If you want to write something long and thoughtful, of course, feel free--I just want to tell you that (as far as I know), I'm not in that much emotional or marital jeopardy. And if you want to make fun of how much of a hack I am, of course, do that, too, but it just seems gratuitous.[/size]
[/quote]

I doubt many GolfWRXers are that much of an a-hole as they appear....but maybe some are

We all have the assumption that life is perfect - and that we'll never have to make difficult choices.

Assume - "if your family had a health-challenge that required you to make changes - would you consider giving up golf"? I bet many of those blustering about - would give a more rational answer.

Or at least I hope they would...

[Titleist 670]

[quote name='bazinky' timestamp='1451503097' post='12780850']
I've had two friends whose wives complained that they played too much golf:

Friend A plays 18-36 on Saturday, 18 on Sunday in season and travels during the week for work (where he also gets to play client golf). They have young kids at home, too. He's a fun guy, but pretty narcissistic. Makes decent bank, which is probably the only reason he's still married. I've also heard a rumour that she may have a special "friend" if you know what I mean ...

Friend B plays at most once a month. His wife is a complete shrew. Perfect example. He gets a day off from work mid-week, kids are in school, and the wife goes ballistic because he wanted to play golf instead of spending it repainting a bathroom. I can't for the life of me understand why he stays married, other than the kids. Great guy, does everything for his family (wife doesn't work, either) and I can only figure that the wife pulled a bait-and-switch while they were dating ...

Moral of the story, find the right girl or partner, and don't abuse it!
[/quote]

A few guys I work with seem like the fall into the Friend B category. Their wife works, so they generally only golf if they take time mid-week. Almost zero chance they will play golf on a weekend.

I think good relationships respect eachother's hobbies, but don't abuse that respect. I can't imagine any woman or man who would be cool with their significant other spending 70 hours a week away from them. On the other hand, not letting your significant other have some time with friends for a few hours every couple of weeks is extreme as well.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='bazinky' timestamp='1451503097' post='12780850']
I've also heard a rumour that she may have a special "friend" if you know what I mean ...

Moral of the story, find the right girl or partner, and don't abuse it!
[/quote]LMAO, great post Bro!!

Enjoyed the analysis, lol!!

This is not directed at Changster though I believe that it bears repeating because I can think of two situations similar to Baz's first scenario at the club and both guys, while Players on the course, are narsistic dip s**** off of it regarding Ladies other than their Wives, one of whom is now divorced to Madison's BFF(pictured below with Madison on Maddie's BDay. She's the brunette, lol) and also a Pro who's an amazing bright beautiful Lady and while I told the guy I would never tell her of his escapades, I also told him that I would never lie to her if she asked me or if Madison asked...

One day Madison asked and I told her-

She of course told her friend-

She broke the 14 clubs in his bag(His irons were the Miura 54 BB's and Miura wedges and a Scotty T, LMAO x 2) shredded the bag with the fractured club and went into the garage and shredded the interior leather of his 1976 Porsche Carrera 930 T, then threw all of his clothes in the back yard, LMAO

Ya gotta love when a boi comes up against a real Playa, LMAO

The second situation, well, like Baz's analysis, we figured that she hung around for the car, clothes, jewelry, zip code, well you get the picture, LMAO-

So she has another life, just like her dip s*** husband, but the kicker is, and Bros I swear to God on Pete's grave, I've looked at this guy sitting at the table bragging about his "other Lady" and clueless about his wife, actuall saying that he is enough man to "totally satisfy two beautiful Women," and he wasn't even talkin to me and I've looked at him, thought of her with her Guy, and I've started Laughin so hard that I've had tears in my eyes, LMAO x 2!!!

Once they all looked at me and Dave even said, "Dude, WTF's wrong with you, that wasn't even that funny," LMAO

I had to walk away cuz I couldn't stop, LMAO

I later told Dave and he too LHAO, though not to the point of tears, lol

Ah, the life of a Playaaaaa, LMFAO x 2

However don't ever forget two things:

1) You ain't the only one who can act-
2) Ladies invented "Faking It"-

Stay Well Bros, keep the faith and don't ever underestimate the person standin in front of you, whether it be in a board room, a bar room, you and your Sig Other's bathroom or a tee box

Happy Frickin New Year,
RP