Goofiest, Most Delusional Golfer Played With

[SmiterOfPv1x]

I'll start. Had a guy I work with hear I was a golfer. Wanted to play a round with me, but mid winter in Ohio. I suggest that we play at a local indoor place, even though I strongly caution him that "it's not real golf but close" since he says he hasn't done the indoor thing before. I arrive well before him and since I'm a golf nut the girl there knows me from many other trips and let's me warm up without starting the timer on the monitor. I do so alone so he has no idea of my abilities (which for a novice would appear tour pro'ish but to any decent golfer would be looked at like "guy is long but sprays them everywhere). Anyways he arrives (minus clubs.... " hey dude you mind if I just borrow yours?- which I reply "sure but until I see you swing why don't you use my old driver?"). He proceeds to hit ten or so shots to warm up, not a single one going more than 150 on the tracker type thing. All with driver, then proclaims that he's "ready". I ask him if he wants to hit a few irons to try out a new set (they're old Ping Eye 2's and trust me, if I haven't broke them in 20 years it's not possible, although the original matching SW did meet a watery demise) prior to the round and he responds by telling me "oh yeah, that'd be a good idea. While he's finishing up warming up I find the girl that's running the joint and tell her to please set up the easiest, shortest course that they have for us. She does and I have her set up all the stuff that can make this as enjoyable as possible for him (no more than 3 over before picking up, gimme's set at 8 feet or so, etc). In the meantime he doesn't hit a clean iron (or wedge) in 15 or so hits. Longest iron shot carries 71. something yards.

 

The goofy and delusional part now comes to play. By divine intervention he has a first name with a letter that comes before mine. As he steps up to the tee he asks if he can hit my driver. I've already explained to him what "a**hole* marks are on a driver, but since I work with him I go ahead and allow it, albeit it with me telling him (and him fullly buying) that this driver does best with a very low tee height. The delusional part now rears its ugly head, he asks me what we're playing for? I respond something like "let's just have fun and let that be it". He says something like "no way!" I then ask him what he has in mind?!!? He says, $20.00 a hole? I tell him no way (and still trying to be nice say to him "why don't we just play for fun?"). He fully insists on a bet so I finally get him down to McDonald's breakfast the following morning for the overall winner. At this point I'm a little unsure if he's drunk (hasn't had anything here yet), or sandbagging me.

 

I won't say how I played since this place has a way of berating and calling folk they don't know liars, but I will state the longest shot he had was less than 1/4 of my shortest drive (yes he did do better on the range before hand but this was single handedly the worst contact I've ever seen from anyone, ever). He did have a stretch from 8-10 where he had a legit par and didn't stroke out on any but by and large he hit his shot limit on almost every hole before getting to where my tee shot was. I'm not a world beater or anything overall. No bragging going on. Despite no bragging, this guy is crazy if he thinks the game he played is capable of a moderate bet on the first tee. Not sure why he wanted to go this route? Yeah I've been overconfident in my abilities before but to try to make bets when it's that bad? I'd have understood (maybe) if there was one single positive he could have taken from warming up. He had to see where my balls were since they were still sitting there on the virtual range. Maybe he thought my wedges were my drives, but what did he think the ones well past that were?

 

Even supposing that he didn't see the longer shots from warm ups why did he try to re-up the bet after we both hit our first drives (I won't post distances but I was 200 yards past him, which the very furthest ball he hit was 157 yards, and that was during warm ups-he didn't hit a single one during our round that was over 100).

 

He's a decent sort of guy overall. But to suggest $20.00 a hole? I wouldn't do that against a guy I don't like even if I'm sure I could beat him. He'd have lost $340.00 if we'd have played this way. Maybe I should have. I don't especially like the guy. He's decent enough but overly loud and obnoxious (ducks heads for comments saying "same/same"). $20.00 a hole is pretty big money for something like this around here, as far as I can tell. I'd rather just surprise someone and beat them that way. He did make a few comments like "I just can't hit these clubs, etc" but while I'll acknowledge they wouldn't fit his swing anyways (likely low 80's Swing Speed with driver and these are "X" flex), he didn't make clean contact with anything the entire round. No matter the flex, contact is contact. I can't get past him wanting to put decent money on his game.

 

By the end of the round I think he was posting live updates on the "pro" he was playing against. I'm not that good. Not even close. I hit it everywhere. When I'm on (a couple times a year), I'm on. But it's rare. I wasn't especially on that day. I'd have been beat by any 60 year old with a decent short game. I guess the sound a soundly swung driver makes is music to some??

 

At any rate, one weird day. I'll just chalk it up to the fact that he's a strange bird but dang. I'm cheap (gasp!) so I'd NEVER put $20.00 on each hole if there was even a remote chance of me losing. I seriously thought at that point he was playing it from a shark angle. Trust me, after 17 he wasn't. Wish I knew what made folk tick. That'd be worth $20.00 a hole!

[thug the bunny]

I worked with a young guy who after a few years of government contract work was getting frustrated (took me 20 years of the same work to get frustrated) and told me he was looking for other work options, and said 'I was thinking maybe of becoming a pro golfer'. So I said 'Oh, I didn't even know you played'. And he said 'Yeah I have been playing a few times a year for 3 years now.' He was serious, so I had to follow up before telling him of his error, and we went out to a range, and he was like your buddy, barely making decent contact and the balls making all kinds weird trajectories. But I guess he thought that skulling 8 irons 100 yds is pretty decent. Like you, he thought I was like pro level. At the end of the session I had to tell him that I was not even within the same universe as a tour pro, so he should cross that pursuit off his list.

Weird stuff.

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

He was playing the long con. Because you turned down the $20 a hole bet, he had to keep up the appearance of being a hacker. He's waiting for next time when you get greedy and offer him $40 a hole. That's when he pipes the first one 350 yards down the fairway. Then you're toast.

 

Crafty, eh?

 

While we're about it, can I interest you in my new book about why Elvis faked his own death and is now living with Marilyn Monroe on an alien moon base?

[thug the bunny]

He was playing the long con. Because you turned down the $20 a hole bet, he had to keep up the appearance of being a hacker. He's waiting for next time when you get greedy and offer him $40 a hole. That's when he pipes the first one 350 yards down the fairway. Then you're toast.

 

Crafty, eh?

 

While we're about it, can I interest you in my new book about why Elvis faked his own death and is now living with Marilyn Monroe on an alien moon base?

 

OK, so a co-worker baits you into a high stakes game by deliberately hitting skank practice shots? Such a person would run a serious risk of not just bad work relations, but getting punched in the face.

[2bGood]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing is he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

He was playing the long con. Because you turned down the $20 a hole bet, he had to keep up the appearance of being a hacker. He's waiting for next time when you get greedy and offer him $40 a hole. That's when he pipes the first one 350 yards down the fairway. Then you're toast.

 

Crafty, eh?

 

While we're about it, can I interest you in my new book about why Elvis faked his own death and is now living with Marilyn Monroe on an alien moon base?

 

OK, so a co-worker baits you into a high stakes game by deliberately hitting skank practice shots? Such a person would run a serious risk of not just bad work relations, but getting punched in the face.

 

The co-worker is a risk-taker, a high-stakes gambler. He doesn't care because he's going to quit that job and move on to his next target.

 

 

/I think you may need to adjust your sarcasm meter; the Elvis stuff was supposed to be the giveaway

[bazinky]

Most delusional was the +3 handicap who posted 3 consecutive rounds over 90 in our club championship, then almost repeated the feat the following year. He did manage to break 90 by a couple of shots in one round.

[JellyPig]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

 

[PostandGhost]

Played with this native american guy in Arizona once that took some bad peyote in the middle of the round. I guess he thought it was going to calm him down but he became very delusional. Started talking to inanimate objects and everything. It was funny for a hole or two but then became annoying when he started using his clubs like a spear. I probably shouldn't have bought him all that beer either now that I look back on it.

[Lenny7]

Played with a co worker once and he took like 4 mulligans. He beat me by 1 or 2 strokes, I can't remember exactly, and he proceeds to give me a hard time about "beating" me. I asked him about the mulligans and he said, "Nah man, can't count those, if I do it gets in my head and it messes me up." I smiled and said, "OK."

[Lenny7]

Most delusional was the +3 handicap who posted 3 consecutive rounds over 90 in our club championship, then almost repeated the feat the following year. He did manage to break 90 by a couple of shots in one round.

I bet he's not a good test taker either.

[AceCatKY]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

 

Wow. That is ridiculous.

[Jules Winnfield]

 

 

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

 

I know a few people like this, it's comical. Had a good friend of mine who played traveling baseball with me and was a hell of an athlete to his credit, do something similar constantly. He honestly thought he was the next Tiger Woods. He'd take putts inside 10 feet every hole and pull his ball out of trouble all the time.

 

His go to move was just to walk up to the putt and hit it, if it missed he would just say "I didn't read that one. If I would've read it, I would've made it, so I'll just take it". LOL. I told him numerous times that we are in no rush, just read the putts.....but that never panned out lol. I'd have him down for something like a 79 but he'd call his dad after every round and tell him what he shot (with me next to him in the car, listening) and it was ALWAYS in the 60's, usually mid 60's.

 

I think it's fair to say he got it from his dad. Me and another friend played them in a 2 man scramble money game once and saw them move the ball 20 yards back out of tree trouble a hand full of times. We called them out and they flat out denied it. We still whooped them pretty good though LOL. Some people just want to believe they are better than they really are or they have no integrity. I find it amusing to be honest.

[LeoLeo99]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

 

I'm scratch too, with unlimited Mulligans and short putts not counting. I might even be able to beat an LPGA pro that way!

[cardoustie]

We had a new guy join our club from out of province about 5 years. He was a 2 .. or as we say at my club a deuce.

 

He talked the talk. He had the dress code nailed. He had x-proto blades with x100's in them

 

He actually walked the line of the range before our round commenting on everyone's swing. It was surreal. I KID YOU NOT. Gems like "you load the shaft the way I do" etc were given

 

We played twice. He was in the mid 90's both times and I was past him off the tee with a 4w on multiple occasions when he was talking about how perfect the flight and shape of his drives were ... which led to him pouting like a 5 year old

 

Second time we played I called him out on cheating. (He was trying to say his 35 yard blocked drive had carried approx. 320 yards to in front of the green of the next par 3 .. INTO THE WIND)

 

... and we never saw him again.

 

He lasted 3 weeks - it was wild

[cardoustie]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

 

I loved that story the first time you told it

[cardoustie]

We also had a new 21 yr old young guy at our club 3 years ago. Tells me he is a +3. (it wasn't Jordan Spieth)

 

I meet him the night before the club C and he has a solid swing, he's not scoring but it is blowing 40kmh

 

We talked golf games, scoring history etc. It didn't matter what I said, I was 1 upped.

 

For example, "I won the club C there 6 years ago before transferring here" ... he comes back with "I shoot 60's there all the time and can't believe you won with those scores"

 

Asks me for best round at my home club and i tell him 68. He comes back with "I shot 64 on Monday"

 

First round of the club C he was 95 or 98 and he hasn't competed since. I think he had 8 or 9 three or 4 putts and didn't hit a fairway with his driver. He was telling tall tales to his Daddy

[cwglum]

Had a decent player in our weekend game that made Kevin Na look like Lanny Wadkins with pace of play. He would stand over the ball for like 25-30 seconds, and that's after all the waggles were done. He rarely ever finished local tourneys when he entered, he'd be way over par in the middle of the back 9, complain how long the round was taking and say he had to take his kids somewhere by a certain time, go to class, etc.

 

Hadn't seen him a few years and ran into him. He took the time to explain that he was now only a regional player, not gonna dink around with the local tournaments anymore. It was only State and USGA events he was after. Truly delusional.

[3chavgolf]

Ugh, this thread is so unsettling. My neck hurts from shaking my head in disbelief so many times.

[cardoustie]

Played with a 19 yr kid in a US Am qualifier in either Ohio or Michigan ~ 20 years ago. I was ~ 30 IIRC

 

He was constantly yapping how this level of play (ie US Am) was below him and he was soon going to make his way to the Hogan tour and then PGA tour

 

I think he shot high 70's both rounds and this included a whiffed 1" putt which he asked me if he had to count

 

I've played with some beauties. I have more tales

[thug the bunny]

He was playing the long con. Because you turned down the $20 a hole bet, he had to keep up the appearance of being a hacker. He's waiting for next time when you get greedy and offer him $40 a hole. That's when he pipes the first one 350 yards down the fairway. Then you're toast.

 

Crafty, eh?

 

While we're about it, can I interest you in my new book about why Elvis faked his own death and is now living with Marilyn Monroe on an alien moon base?

 

OK, so a co-worker baits you into a high stakes game by deliberately hitting skank practice shots? Such a person would run a serious risk of not just bad work relations, but getting punched in the face.

 

The co-worker is a risk-taker, a high-stakes gambler. He doesn't care because he's going to quit that job and move on to his next target.

 

 

/I think you may need to adjust your sarcasm meter; the Elvis stuff was supposed to be the giveaway

 

Increased the detector sensitivity a bit, but now I hope I don't start applying sarcasm to ridiculous posts that were intended to be serious! It's hard to tell sometimes in WRXland.

[LeftDaddy]

I love 2bGood's story.

 

Mine don't quite compete with some of these, but I have two:

 

1. Played "client golf" with this customer of ours years ago...the guy was a pretty decent golfer...probably a legit 10 hcp. But he had a nasty habit of conveniently forgetting penalty strokes and raking in putts that were "good" no matter what, and also forgetting when he had to punch out sideways, etc. Plus, he was the type to brag about his golf game and poke a little fun at some of the others who struggled. But he was a client, so I was generally letting things slide. BUT, we were playing a friendly little competition against another foursome, and on this one par 4 he hits into the woods, never finds his ball, takes a drop out of the woods onto the fairway, hits the green from there, runs his 20 foot putt by about 6 feet and just rakes at the 6 footer (and it doesn't go in)...and he says "oh well, another 4". So I finally had enough. I called him on it. And at first he "denied" anything and started counting and said "No, actually that was a par." I just said "OK...whatever you say". Then, 4 holes later he finally said "You know what, you are right, back on 9 there I had a bogey." I just said "Hey man, I'm here to write down whatever you think is right". Probably wasn't smart on my part...customer and all.

 

2. I played with this older guy that was a complete arsehat. He literally yelled obscenities at the top of his lungs after every bad shot, and basically every shot was bad. He was at best a 25 handicap. But no matter what area I claimed I had played in before, he had played a better course there and "shot 78. I was putting way better that day". Me and the other two in our foursome were rolling our eyes, etc. And to top it all off, at one point this guy basically says words to the effect of "Well, I wasn't real happy getting paired up with you guys to be honest. You all aren't much fun". I just said "Oh really, we aren't much fun huh? Well, I'm sorry you are having this experience. Would you like to move on ahead of us and play the rest of the round by yourself?" He said he wouldn't, that we were already close to done so might as well tough it out at this point.

 

Incredible.

[golfwb]

I belong to a pretty difficult group of courses in the Vail valley area. I invited some of my buddies from Texas to come up for a long weekend, one is around scratch, like myself, and the other is a 13 or so. They insist we play from the back tee's, even after I said we would get destroyed. Myself and the other guy shot high 70's and the 13 shoots a 98 with no less than four mulligans, illegal drops, etcs... So the next day we play another course, slightly more forgiving but still hard. I had hoped they had learned their lesson, but i was wrong. The starter asked what tees we were going to be playing and the the 13 says, "We're playing the back tees, of course!". So we gave him no mullies or anything not by the book and he didn't break 100, and i think it took like 5+ hours.

[Ayoung19]

Played with a 19 yr kid in a US Am qualifier in either Ohio or Michigan ~ 20 years ago. I was ~ 30 IIRC

 

He was constantly yapping how this level of play (ie US Am) was below him and he was soon going to make his way to the Hogan tour and then PGA tour

 

I think he shot high 70's both rounds and this included a whiffed 1" putt which he asked me if he had to count

 

I've played with some beauties. I have more tales

 

Please, continue, would love to hear more. Some of these are fantastic. Trying not to laugh out loud in my cube.

[3ack]

Got paired up with this random guy once and he was delusional not just in golf but it seems he was clinically delusional in life as well. Before we even tee off he gets in a loud verbal altercation with the guys in line behind us. Apparently they are cousins or something. Anyway, it's July and about 90 degrees and he's wearing dark brown slack type pants rolled up to his calf, a t-shirt tucked in, NY Knicks edition Jordans, and a flat brimmed Miami Heat hat. I am thankful they let us ride in separate carts as a two-some (it's not a very well run establishment). It's time for us to tee off and I approach the whites and he says i'm playing from the back. I think of course you are. So with a jerky baseball type swing he chunks his first one then slices his second brand new prov1's 40 yards to side of the fairway, barely holding his footing. I then hit mine into the fairway and he says I'll play from where you are. So we drive separate carts the rest of the way, but he manages to tell me the following whenever I couldn't stay far enough away from him.

 

- He opens with "I got crown royal apple and ciroc if you wanna put some in your beer." (I had a cooler of beer he saw, and I politely declined his offer)

- He said he has a $50k watch on but doesn't want to lose it so he'll wear it while we play.

- He owns his own jet.

- At this point he started taking beers out of my cooler without asking me.

- He appeared to be on his cell phone while I was waiting for him to hit. He got off the phone hit his shot then tells me "That was Drake's manager (the rap guy) I'm trying to get him to come to the Colonial Center but he wants $150k."

- He said he played for the University of South Carolina Golf team in 2000.

- He said his grandfather was the first African American to attend college. Not in his family, but of all African Americans.

- He showed me videos on his phone of what appeared to be hookers on an airplane, and he said that's me and my buddies.

- The cart girl then came by on #7 and asks if we need anything (she only carries drinks) and he says "yeah get me a couple hot dogs." She politely tells him she only has drinks and he insists it's no trouble for her to ride up to the clubhouse to get them ready for him and he'll pay inside. She says ok, just to get out of there and we never saw her again. When she drives away he looks at me and says, "Yeah she saw the watch, she knows what's up."

- At the turn I said I'm going to go inside and get a snack and some beer. He follows me and when I am going to pay he throws a couple hot dogs and some drinks on the counter and says "Grab these for me, I've got cash in my cart." I say ok fully knowing I'll never see that cash.

- When we finish the round he says he has a lifetime membership card to Platinum Plus (a gentleman's club near there) and invited me to party with him. I declined and he said well here's my number let me see your phone I'll call it. I have no choice but to let him call my phone. I immediately block it when I get back to my car.

 

I ended up shooting a personal best 74, while this ex collegiate golfer put up no less than a 110. So maybe I play best with these types. I don't know, but not sure if I want to find out again.

[larrybud]

Oh, these are fun! Played with husband of wife's co-worker. Talked to him on the phone, he's asking me about my handicap, and he tell me he's a "5", but "that's from the tips". I could tell immediately this guy was a "one upper". Hey, I don't care what you think you are. I don't care if you cheat and tell everybody you shot 59, as long as we don't have money on the line.

 

I'm looking at this guy's scoring history online, and yep, it says he's a 5.2. Ok, that's cool. He of course tells me how far he hits the ball, yada yada. Play the first time together, this guy probably "shot "95+, and that doesn't include the very generous drops. I mean, he probably lost 10 balls. I know someone can have a bad day, but you can *just tell*. A 5 capper generally is going to be a pretty decent chipper, and not blade 5 chips over the green, ya know what I mean? I looked later and he posted an 82..ooookkkkk.

 

So after the round he's going on and on about he couldn't putt. I made some smartWord not allowed comment about how he was lucky he has any balls left to putt with, you know, all in good fun. lol. I was asking him about tournaments and why doesn't he play in his club championship at this top public course in the area... Apparently I talked him right into it.

 

I have to give him credit, he played both rounds, under the rules of golf. He texted me and told me he was terrible, but wouldn't say his scores. I looked on the course's website... 110 and 115. Ouch. What was really funny is that we played a couple more times, and he didn't stop with his BSing.

 

I told my buddy who joined us the 2nd time, who's a 10.. he played him for money, and was even able to swindle a couple of strokes out of the guy.

 

He was also a one upper in non-golf related things. So strange. He was actually a nice guy otherwise, good personality, pretty funny. Just a complete tool!

[cardoustie]

In an ironic twist Drake's uncle plays out of my course

[3chavgolf]

Played with a 19 yr kid in a US Am qualifier in either Ohio or Michigan ~ 20 years ago. I was ~ 30 IIRC

 

He was constantly yapping how this level of play (ie US Am) was below him and he was soon going to make his way to the Hogan tour and then PGA tour

 

I think he shot high 70's both rounds and this included a whiffed 1" putt which he asked me if he had to count

 

I've played with some beauties. I have more tales

 

Keep them coming!

[3chavgolf]

Got paired up with this random guy once and he was delusional not just in golf but it seems he was clinically delusional in life as well. Before we even tee off he gets in a loud verbal altercation with the guys in line behind us. Apparently they are cousins or something. Anyway, it's July and about 90 degrees and he's wearing dark brown slack type pants rolled up to his calf, a t-shirt tucked in, NY Knicks edition Jordans, and a flat brimmed Miami Heat hat. I am thankful they let us ride in separate carts as a two-some (it's not a very well run establishment). It's time for us to tee off and I approach the whites and he says i'm playing from the back. I think of course you are. So with a jerky baseball type swing he chunks his first one then slices his second brand new prov1's 40 yards to side of the fairway, barely holding his footing. I then hit mine into the fairway and he says I'll play from where you are. So we drive separate carts the rest of the way, but he manages to tell me the following whenever I couldn't stay far enough away from him.

 

- He opens with "I got crown royal apple and ciroc if you wanna put some in your beer." (I had a cooler of beer he saw, and I politely declined his offer)

- He said he has a $50k watch on but doesn't want to lose it so he'll wear it while we play.

- He owns his own jet.

- At this point he started taking beers out of my cooler without asking me.

- He appeared to be on his cell phone while I was waiting for him to hit. He got off the phone hit his shot then tells me "That was Drake's manager (the rap guy) I'm trying to get him to come to the Colonial Center but he wants $150k."

- He said he played for the University of South Carolina Golf team in 2000.

- He said his grandfather was the first African American to attend college. Not in his family, but of all African Americans.

- He showed me videos on his phone of what appeared to be hookers on an airplane, and he said that's me and my buddies.

- The cart girl then came by on #7 and asks if we need anything (she only carries drinks) and he says "yeah get me a couple hot dogs." She politely tells him she only has drinks and he insists it's no trouble for her to ride up to the clubhouse to get them ready for him and he'll pay inside. She says ok, just to get out of there and we never saw her again. When she drives away he looks at me and says, "Yeah she saw the watch, she knows what's up."

- At the turn I said I'm going to go inside and get a snack and some beer. He follows me and when I am going to pay he throws a couple hot dogs and some drinks on the counter and says "Grab these for me, I've got cash in my cart." I say ok fully knowing I'll never see that cash.

- When we finish the round he says he has a lifetime membership card to Platinum Plus (a gentleman's club near there) and invited me to party with him. I declined and he said well here's my number let me see your phone I'll call it. I have no choice but to let him call my phone. I immediately block it when I get back to my car.

 

I ended up shooting a personal best 74, while this ex collegiate golfer put up no less than a 110. So maybe I play best with these types. I don't know, but not sure if I want to find out again.

 

The cringe... it hurts...

[ZA206]

LOL... nothing as crazy as what you guys posted.

 

My brother and I went to go play one of the toughest tracks in the area (this was about 10 years ago) and the started paired us up with another 2-some. Back then, I was around a 7 and my brother was probably a 10. We were just going to play the blue tees and have a relaxing afternoon just enjoying the scenery and a tough track.

 

We got paired up with two dufus guys.... we get to the first tee and they are on the tips and we introduce ourselves. They state they are playing the tips because they want to "see the whole course".... they had never played it before. We were like OK, cool... we'll play back there with you guys. Immediately, they discuss what we are going to be betting. I chime in that I don't bet with strangers unless they have handicap cards on them. Neither did (of course), so we didn't bet. They both stated they were 2's and didn't mind giving us strokes. At that point, I was kicking myself! hahahaa....

 

Anyway, long story short, I shot something like a 75, my brother shot maybe an 80 (both played very well) and neither of the two dummies broke 100.

 

My brother was PISSED that I wouldn't bet them..... LOL.

 

-ZA