Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

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  • xerproxerpro Is it weird that my 3 wood has lower loft than my driver? Members Posts: 2,303 ✭✭
    sheppy335 wrote:



    I once heard a wife tell her husband something pornographic thinking people were out of earshot. I was not. Haha. It was spectacular.



    On another instance, I got to the range early in the morning, went to the end of the range thinking I would be by myself and let out a thunderous ****. Then went about my business of selecting a wedge and stretching. I turn around and realize there was a middle aged woman two stalls down. There is no way she didn't hear it. So embarrassed.


    So what did she tell him?\




    Yeah, what did she say?
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  • dicko999dicko999 I call it "Celebration" Posts: 486 ✭✭
    My all time favorite...



    "I'm totally hitting it off the toe. There's no way the hosel of the club makes the ball go right like that!"
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  • DevilDogDevilDog Members Posts: 1,811
    Most ridiculous I always hear are from young guys who bring some hot babe to the driving range to "teach her" to play golf and the guys suck terribly at golf. These guys will always say "just watch me to see the right way to do it" and they are just terrible. This also led to one of the funniest things I heard on the range when I was there hitting the ball very very well and the guy trying to impress the chick obviously sucked and she asked him, "why don't you hit the ball like that man?" which she followed by saying, "I should get him to help me". The look the guy had when she said that. Dejection to the nth degree.
  • somaplrsomaplr Vaya con Dios, Brah Members Posts: 3,974
    DevilDog wrote:


    Most ridiculous I always hear are from young guys who bring some hot babe to the driving range to "teach her" to play golf and the guys suck terribly at golf. These guys will always say "just watch me to see the right way to do it" and they are just terrible. This also led to one of the funniest things I heard on the range when I was there hitting the ball very very well and the guy trying to impress the chick obviously sucked and she asked him, "why don't you hit the ball like that man?" which she followed by saying, "I should get him to help me". The look the guy had when she said that. Dejection to the nth degree.




    #humblebrag win of the day
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  • boxerjoe2011boxerjoe2011 Oh Billy!!! Posts: 957 ✭✭
    xerpro wrote:

    sheppy335 wrote:



    I once heard a wife tell her husband something pornographic thinking people were out of earshot. I was not. Haha. It was spectacular.



    On another instance, I got to the range early in the morning, went to the end of the range thinking I would be by myself and let out a thunderous ****. Then went about my business of selecting a wedge and stretching. I turn around and realize there was a middle aged woman two stalls down. There is no way she didn't hear it. So embarrassed.


    So what did she tell him?\




    Yeah, what did she say?




    I wouldn't be able to say on this forum without it getting deleted by a marshall. You can use your imagination though, haha.
  • DevilDogDevilDog Members Posts: 1,811
    edited Sep 19, 2013 #37
    sompin2do wrote:


    A dad forcing his 5 year old son to learn a pre-shot routine. Have seen him and his wife forcing the kid to hit balls almost daily for well over a year now. Most of their sessions turn to negotiations where Jr is trying to get done sooner so he can get off the range.




    This happens so much in every kid sport these days. The parents want their kid to be the next superstar and make millions without realizing he has about a 1/10th of a percent chance of being a big money pro. See similar things happen with the kids that play baseball too. Kids have become nothing more than something to brag about by overbearing idiotic parents that spend their time bragging about everything else. Same people who have 'My Child is an Honor Student at X school'. Nothing more than something to make the parents feel good about themselves.
  • SpiritombSpiritomb Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should Members Posts: 698
    DevilDog wrote:


    Most ridiculous I always hear are from young guys who bring some hot babe to the driving range to "teach her" to play golf and the guys suck terribly at golf. These guys will always say "just watch me to see the right way to do it" and they are just terrible. This also led to one of the funniest things I heard on the range when I was there hitting the ball very very well and the guy trying to impress the chick obviously sucked and she asked him, "why don't you hit the ball like that man?" which she followed by saying, "I should get him to help me". The look the guy had when she said that. Dejection to the nth degree.




    You should have gave her some tips. image/derisive.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':derisive:' /> Unless your married.
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  • jaskanskijaskanski Members Posts: 9,250 ✭✭
    "These clubs were a gift from Seve - after I loaned him a Ping lob wedge, he returned the favour". Really? Wow.

    Famously frugal Seve probably would have sold him a set, but I doubt he ever gave away a set of Ping Zing 2's to anyone other than a scrap dealer - after removing the grips of course.
  • rsj1360rsj1360 Member of the Resistance Posts: 2,414 ✭✭

    xerpro wrote:

    sheppy335 wrote:



    I once heard a wife tell her husband something pornographic thinking people were out of earshot. I was not. Haha. It was spectacular.



    On another instance, I got to the range early in the morning, went to the end of the range thinking I would be by myself and let out a thunderous ****. Then went about my business of selecting a wedge and stretching. I turn around and realize there was a middle aged woman two stalls down. There is no way she didn't hear it. So embarrassed.


    So what did she tell him?\




    Yeah, what did she say?




    I wouldn't be able to say on this forum without it getting deleted by a marshall. You can use your imagination though, haha.




    Censorship sucks :-(
  • Was at my local top golf and two rather good looking ladies walk in with golf clubs in hand and high heels on. Proceed to hit great shots wearing the heels until one hits a 400mph worm burner and shouts at the top of her voice "And thats how i F***ing roll!!!". Awesome!
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  • dlygrissedlygrisse Members Posts: 13,012 ✭✭
    "Hey, you know what is wrong with your swing?"



    This being said to me by a guy who had obviously just got done reading the latest edition of Golf Digest, and whom I had just witnessed topping 5 shots in a row. I hate and unsolicited advice, especially if you are not the pro at that particular course. I am quite confident I could have given the guy 10 shots a side and still taken money from him..



    I quietly picked up my belongings and immediately moved to the other end of the range without saying a word to him. I think he got the point.

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  • ctmason_98ctmason_98 TOTALLY outta the bag... Posts: 1,827 ✭✭
    DevilDog wrote:

    sompin2do wrote:


    A dad forcing his 5 year old son to learn a pre-shot routine. Have seen him and his wife forcing the kid to hit balls almost daily for well over a year now. Most of their sessions turn to negotiations where Jr is trying to get done sooner so he can get off the range.




    This happens so much in every kid sport these days. The parents want their kid to be the next superstar and make millions without realizing he has about a 1/10th of a percent chance of being a big money pro. See similar things happen with the kids that play baseball too. Kids have become nothing more than something to brag about by overbearing idiotic parents that spend their time bragging about everything else. Same people who have 'My Child is an Honor Student at X school'. Nothing more than something to make the parents feel good about themselves.




    Well.....glad this thread gave you the opportunity to b!tch.....I guess?



    As for the most ridiculous thing I've heard, nothing much other than the numerous times I've heard the New York transplant retiree I've seen a few times with his "see 'dat one 'dere right down 'dah f
    g pipe and 'dis muddah f---ah all deh time wit' dah leff....." and so forth muttering. Very humorous.



    I did see an older guy drive up to the CrackerJax range in Scottsdale, carry out his entire bag....hit no more than 3 shots with a wood (maybe a driver) that went dead left....and the next thing I know he was headed back to his car with his bag....
  • Not the most ridiculous thing, but the most recent comment I heard earlier this week was:



    Person 1- "Are you supposed to hit the ground when you hit the ball?"

    Person 2- "No. If you watch the pros, they just clip the ball."
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  • RedhillRedhill Unregistered Posts: 2,822
    Two 30 handicappers are looking at one of the guy's new irons and are admiring them and talking a wee bit too loud.



    "YEA, with this 3iron I can hit it 300 yards!". I wanted to see this so I watched for a while.....Nope.
  • DevilDog wrote:


    Most ridiculous I always hear are from young guys who bring some hot babe to the driving range to "teach her" to play golf and the guys suck terribly at golf. These guys will always say "just watch me to see the right way to do it" and they are just terrible. This also led to one of the funniest things I heard on the range when I was there hitting the ball very very well and the guy trying to impress the chick obviously sucked and she asked him, "why don't you hit the ball like that man?" which she followed by saying, "I should get him to help me". The look the guy had when she said that. Dejection to the nth degree.




    What a skeeezer.
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  • FLGOLFJUNKIEFLGOLFJUNKIE My Drives Go Longer Than Yours Members Posts: 1,807 ✭✭
    seifer248 wrote:


    Was at my local top golf and two rather good looking ladies walk in with golf clubs in hand and high heels on. Proceed to hit great shots wearing the heels until one hits a 400mph worm burner and shouts at the top of her voice "And thats how i F***ing roll!!!". Awesome!




    Ahhh...Cocaine
  • mukstermukster Is this the year? North of the 49thMembers Posts: 3,473 ✭✭
    seifer248 wrote:


    Was at my local top golf and two rather good looking ladies walk in with golf clubs in hand and high heels on. Proceed to hit great shots wearing the heels until one hits a 400mph worm burner and shouts at the top of her voice "And thats how i F***ing roll!!!". Awesome!




    That was funny image/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />
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  • HsteadHstead Members Posts: 6,326 ✭✭
    Two of the funniest things I ever heard on the range were at tour events.



    First - this elderly man, at least late 70's and most likely over 80 is sitting in the bleachers near me with his wife, who again is most likely 80+ leans over to her and says "look hun, there is Tiger Woods" right as Arjun Atwal is walking up. I thought I was going to die, it was great.



    Second - at the Western Open at Cog Hill one year this guy walks up to the range where Elkington, Russ Cochran, and ViJay are practicing after their round. This was back in the mid 90's when most pro's were playing either a 90 or 100 compression Titleist Professional. The guy has no real clue who any of the players were, and he asks Elkington this question



    "Hey Big Guy, is that a 90 or 100 compression ball you are hitting?" to which Elkington replies "110 I think" and the guy starts boosting to his buddy saying, "see I told you, I could tell by the sound it was more than a 90 compression." The guy was in his mid 40's and clueless. The rest of the time on the range, ViJay made a big deal of the guy calling Elkington "Big Guy" because it was obvious he had no idea who he was. ViJay kept saying "Hey Big Guy" and rolling. It was a classic.
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  • 33 Handicap33 Handicap Psalms 37:23 Posts: 389
    Why can't all threads be like this?!

    Good stuff!
  • wmblake2000wmblake2000 Members Posts: 5,584 ✭✭
    seifer248 wrote:


    Was at my local top golf and two rather good looking ladies walk in with golf clubs in hand and high heels on. Proceed to hit great shots wearing the heels until one hits a 400mph worm burner and shouts at the top of her voice "And thats how i F***ing roll!!!". Awesome!




    Hands down the best story. I would have just lost it laughing.
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  • Guardian5Guardian5 Loves golf Members Posts: 371
    ... it's difficult to answer what my handicap is, I kinda have three - this is what I hear as I placed my bag on the stand in my hitting area - now back to the golfers gold... my course handicap is a sixteen, I'm about a seven on the range, and my pro tells me that my practice swing is a two!!!
  • DevilDogDevilDog Members Posts: 1,811
    somaplr wrote:

    DevilDog wrote:


    Most ridiculous I always hear are from young guys who bring some hot babe to the driving range to "teach her" to play golf and the guys suck terribly at golf. These guys will always say "just watch me to see the right way to do it" and they are just terrible. This also led to one of the funniest things I heard on the range when I was there hitting the ball very very well and the guy trying to impress the chick obviously sucked and she asked him, "why don't you hit the ball like that man?" which she followed by saying, "I should get him to help me". The look the guy had when she said that. Dejection to the nth degree.




    #humblebrag win of the day




    **** didn't think it would come out that way! Just that this guy was SO bad anyone decent would look better.
  • HateTheHighDrawHateTheHighDraw Members Posts: 2,434 ✭✭
    Funniest thing happened to me last night at the range. I'm doing my thing and hitting a few drivers and this bozo comes up to the stall next to me. He immediately grabs his driver and tees it up with the longest rubber tee they have (I hate mats but it was raining so I had to get under cover). He starts hitting his driver and begins to shank everything straight right worm burners about three inches off the ground. Anyway, a couple minutes later we both sort of hit at the same time and again he hits a brutal top shank straight right but apparently thinks my ball is his. My drive was fine and all of sudden he goes "****, I just hit my longest drive ever." I go "dude, that was my ball, yours is way over there." He looks to the right and sees his tumbling into the weeds. He was so sad. I felt like an a** but what could I do?



    PSA: This is NOT a humble brag.
  • SilverBulletsSilverBullets BMW Members Posts: 5,878 ✭✭
    "Driver off the deck... ALL.... DAY.....LONG!".... said the 40 year old fat man wearing all Rickie Fowler orange.
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  • MountainKingMountainKing Members Posts: 1,417 ✭✭
    A guy at the end stall yelling fore because he shanked it right into a group of us in the middle stalls..



    I also had some guy who was watching me hit drives and then started arguing with me on the distance I was hitting them. He was insisting that I must be flying them at least 350....no the range is only 300 yards deep and if you notice I'm not even rolling them anywhere near the back of the range...only way I can fly one 300 is if I catch one and have about a 30mph wind behind me. I'm amazed at how poor most folks judge distances these days.

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  • kitemankiteman Unregistered Posts: 650
    edited Sep 20, 2013 #57
    I heard something very ridiculous from a very good golfer. A friend of mine is a +2 and the back fence at the range was 250y away and it was about 100 feet high. I don't know what you would have to carry distance wise to get over the fence--at least 300--but he told me he wouldn't hit his driver because he would hit it over. I walked away for a bit and came back and he was hitting his driver. Granted he was carrying to the fence, but it wasn't going over nor was it even landing halfway up at that. I was a little disappointed in him...it's the good golfers we hope are more modest while we expect the terrible ones to be too proud.
  • HsteadHstead Members Posts: 6,326 ✭✭


    "Driver off the deck... ALL.... DAY.....LONG!".... said the 40 year old fat man wearing all Rickie Fowler orange.




    Hey, easy with the 40 year old fat man stuff.





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  • RMT28265RMT28265 Members Posts: 477
    kiteman wrote:


    I heard something very ridiculous from a very good golfer. A friend of mine is a +2 and the back fence at the range was 250y away and it was about 100 feet high. I don't know what you would have to carry distance wise to get over the fence--at least 300--but he told me he wouldn't hit his driver because he would hit it over. I walked away for a bit and came back and he was hitting his driver. Granted he was carrying to the fence, but it wasn't going over nor was it even landing halfway up at that. I was a little disappointed in him...it's the good golfers we hope are more modest while we expect the terrible ones to be too proud.




    You practice at a range that has a 10 story net?
  • BrettB97BrettB97 Members Posts: 205
    Saw a guy have a mental breakdown. Started with the occasional huff after a shot. Then it became a little clubhead smacking on the ground. That developed into full on rage about half a bucket in. I hear an odd snap, look over and see this guy in the middle of losing it. He took out about 5 more clubs, snapped them over his knee baseball style, and tossed them down the range full force. All the while cussing like a sailor. Kicks his bag over, throws the bucket out the same way he did the clubs. Snatches up his bag and storms off. Mind you its only me and him this whole time.



    I went and picked his clubs off the range. Turns out he did all this to an innocent set of MP57s. He fully deserved for me to take those clubs home but my conscious got the better of me. Turned em into the Pro who, guy came back later that day and left me a box of new ProVs.
  • lonestar48lonestar48 Members Posts: 189
    I'm pretty new to the game and end up playing a few holes with this guy in his mid-50s or so. After a few hits he says: "You gotta finish with your hands real high...like this...(shows me)...see, watch...(hits screaming duck hook that never gets close to green, then contorts his arms and pushes them higher than they actually finished on his follow-through)...just like that, like the pros."
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