Robert Allenby Robbed and Beaten Up in Hawaii

[HandsomeMatt]

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. I can hit a 7 iron over 175 yards. My GIR last year was 40th on the PGA. I can hit a buried lie out of a bunker to within 10 feet and stop it on a dime. So I have one question for you. Where can I score some blow in Waikiki?

[MtlJeff]

[quote name='HandsomeMatt' timestamp='1421778048' post='10784173']
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. I can hit a 7 iron over 175 yards. My GIR last year was 40th on the PGA. I can hit a buried lie out of a bunker to within 10 feet and stop it on a dime. So I have one question for you. Where can I score some blow in Waikiki?
[/quote]

Good luck

Marco from trepoja

[Pert1862]

[quote name='spiffdogxl' timestamp='1421777387' post='10784099']
From what I've gathered through my LE circles locally, the FBI is not investigating this. The confusion is that the head of security detail for the event happens to be an FBI agent. Allenby still had his rolex on when he returned to the hotel, so they aren't thinking robbery. Police are saying his wounds are not consistent with being beat up. His face looks like curb rash from falling over. Very fishy.

Having met Mr. Allenby once, it's easy to believe someone would beat the crap out of him. He's deserving, but that probably isn't what happened.
[/quote]

FBI would never investigate this. One of the security guys for the PGA Tour, actually damn near all of them, are retired federal agents of some kind. Charles Goodwin, who is the PGA Tour security guy, is a retired agent and handling it for the PGA Tour.

[bscinstnct]

PGA Tour promo photo should be


Allenby, toothless TW and DJ.

[landolakes]

I can't wait for Rolling Stone to get to the bottom of things.

[Redhill]

My guess is that the PGA tour is going to wait it out and see what the truth is when it surfaces. If he is just drunk and got rolled by a social relief worker's friends, nothing will happen to him.

If however in the course of this episode, a pattern of drug use/abuse comes to light, Allenby might be on an extended "vacation". Most likely in a place other than Hawaii.

[Chief Cowpie]

[quote name='HandsomeMatt' timestamp='1421778048' post='10784173']
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. I can hit a 7 iron over 175 yards. My GIR last year was 40th on the PGA. I can hit a buried lie out of a bunker to within 10 feet and stop it on a dime. So I have one question for you. Where can I score some blow in Waikiki?
[/quote]

Did you post this on deadspin? Saw it in the comments... [url="http://deadspin.com/robert-allenbys-kidnapping-story-just-keeps-getting-wei-1680610142"]http://deadspin.com/...-wei-1680610142[/url]

also found there:

[size=4]"Allenby is a world-class golfer. He should be able to get out of a tough lie."[/size]

[monkeynaut]

[quote name='spiffdogxl' timestamp='1421777387' post='10784099']
From what I've gathered through my LE circles locally, the FBI is not investigating this. The confusion is that the head of security detail for the event happens to be an FBI agent. Allenby still had his rolex on when he returned to the hotel, so they aren't thinking robbery. Police are saying his wounds are not consistent with being beat up. His face looks like curb rash from falling over. Very fishy.

Having met Mr. Allenby once, it's easy to believe someone would beat the crap out of him. He's deserving, but that probably isn't what happened.
[/quote]
He still had his Rolex?
Well, there's the problem.
He probably messed his face up trying to move mountains and break rocks without wearing an Omega watch.
He probably thinks he'll be standing in the hall of fame too.
Silly Rabbit.

[pappaf2]

I don't understand why he wouldn't just say he was walking and he fell down or tripped and busted up his face. Seems easily to beleive and no one would care. People might say oh he had a little too much to drink or what ever but it is certainly better than the impending fecal hurricane that could be coming his way.

[bscinstnct]

[quote name='Redhill' timestamp='1421782483' post='10784731']
My guess is that the PGA tour is going to wait it out and see what the truth is when it surfaces. If he is just drunk and got rolled by a social relief worker's friends, nothing will happen to him.

If however in the course of this episode, a pattern of drug use/abuse comes to light, Allenby might be on an extended "vacation". Most likely in a place [b]other than Hawaii[/b].
[/quote]

Cause in Hawaii, some guys like to,

"punch it up for some bling"

Rofl, that was a good quote, Redhill. Hey, reminds me of the time

Me and my crew got jumped!

Like most 3am parking lot altercations, it was started by the drunkest member of each rival faction. And yet, my diner cheeseburger deluxe was delayed and I was obliged to square off and wrestle around with this guy who was actually pretty powerful but we were both just going through the motions and seemingly had a silent agreement not to throw any punches.

Unfortunately for the other crew, we had this guy with us that was basically a hybrid between a MMA fighter and Godzilla. So, things ended quickly and then the whole lot of us went to the diner.

The key is when you leave the bar, take no detours and go straight to the diner.

[Large David Hammer]

He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!

[The7thLetter]

[quote name='Large David Hammer' timestamp='1421786234' post='10785247']
He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!
[/quote]

This. Guaranteed he was getting into/looking for something a little unsavory and caught the fade in the process.

[Jasonic]

I HATE impending fecal hurricanes....

[DavePelz4]

Wondering if this will cause Trevino to change his statement about not talking to a fade but being able to talk to a hook.

[Arafel]

[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1421787840' post='10785471']
Wondering if this will cause Trevino to change his statement about not talking to a fade but being able to talk to a hook.
[/quote]

You can talk to fades, just not hookers.

[3_Jack_Par]

[quote name='Large David Hammer' timestamp='1421786234' post='10785247']
He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!
[/quote]
He's divorced. so that doesn't track as a motive for a cover up.

[monkeynaut]

[quote name='Arafel' timestamp='1421788285' post='10785529']
[quote name='DavePelz4' timestamp='1421787840' post='10785471']
Wondering if this will cause Trevino to change his statement about not talking to a fade but being able to talk to a hook.
[/quote]

You can talk to fades, just not hookers.
[/quote]
Even if she's a Tour Pro?

[RJRJRJ]

[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421789109' post='10785631']
[quote name='Large David Hammer' timestamp='1421786234' post='10785247']
He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!
[/quote]
He's divorced. so that doesn't track as a motive for a cover up.
[/quote]

Even single guys try to keep stories of being beaten by a pimp under wrap.

[502 to Right]

[quote name='3 Jack Par' timestamp='1421789109' post='10785631']
[quote name='Large David Hammer' timestamp='1421786234' post='10785247']
He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!
[/quote]
He's divorced. so that doesn't track as a motive for a cover up.
[/quote]

I don't think sponsors or girlfriends (I don't know if he has one) take kindly to someone who frequents hookers. You can't just say "he's divorced" and then conclude he has nothing to cover up.

[Guia]

Sounds like he was buying something (drugs, hooker, etc) and the deal went south. It was easier to roll him than to supply product.

[smiley9929]

In one of the early accounts of the story his 'friend / caddie' said they didn't drink that much, just a 'couple bottles of wine' and that someone must have drugged Allenby for him to be that messed up.

I don't know about you but when I say I've had a 'few beers' it might actually mean a 'half dozen'.

So what I'm getting at is these guys probably had more than a 'couple bottles' of wine and were pretty inebriated.

Let's hope the NFL isn't helping the PGA Tour locate the real surveillance tapes.

[monkeynaut]

[quote name='smiley9929' timestamp='1421792224' post='10785907']
In one of the early accounts of the story his 'friend / caddie' said they didn't drink that much, just a 'couple bottles of wine' and that someone must have drugged Allenby for him to be that messed up.

I don't know about you but when I say I've had a 'few beers' it might actually mean a 'half dozen'.

So what I'm getting at is these guys probably had more than a 'couple bottles' of wine and were pretty inebriated.

Let's hope the NFL isn't helping the PGA Tour locate the real surveillance tapes.
[/quote]
I've used "a couple of beers" to describe six pints, a couple of scotch and waters and a shot or so.

[playa]

I've heard Allenby is changing his name and will now be known as Jerry Fletcher. He has also asked Srixon to make a special tin foil lined golf cap for tour events.

[Joe Rockhead]

Are we talking alien abduction now?

[playa]

[quote name='Large David Hammer' timestamp='1421786234' post='10785247']
He probably was beaten up...by the pimp or drug dealer he was negotiating with. A good Christian family man on tour, (they all claim to be) can't admit that, can he? So... "I can't remember a thing." Better than having to keep his alcoholic/drug/adultery story(s) straight.

No matter what... "I can't remember a thing." means, "I don't dare tell you what really happened."

Sniff test, failed!
[/quote]
When this story was first breaking there was a news flash on the radio of a 'shocking' story involving Allenby, with details in the upcoming news. I said to the wife that my money was on him being beaten up while out on the sauce. Sometimes first instincts are best.

[502 to Right]

That he walked out of this kidnapping, beating, and robbing with his Rolex still on his wrist defies explanation if he's telling the truth.

[jamie]

[quote name='monkeynaut' timestamp='1421792933' post='10785969']
[quote name='smiley9929' timestamp='1421792224' post='10785907']
In one of the early accounts of the story his 'friend / caddie' said they didn't drink that much, just a 'couple bottles of wine' and that someone must have drugged Allenby for him to be that messed up.

I don't know about you but when I say I've had a 'few beers' it might actually mean a 'half dozen'.

So what I'm getting at is these guys probably had more than a 'couple bottles' of wine and were pretty inebriated.

Let's hope the NFL isn't helping the PGA Tour locate the real surveillance tapes.
[/quote]
I've used "a couple of beers" to describe six pints, a couple of scotch and waters and a shot or so.
[/quote]
haha I'm the same way.

[padget]

[quote name='monkeynaut' timestamp='1421792933' post='10785969']
[quote name='smiley9929' timestamp='1421792224' post='10785907']
In one of the early accounts of the story his 'friend / caddie' said they didn't drink that much, just a 'couple bottles of wine' and that someone must have drugged Allenby for him to be that messed up.

I don't know about you but when I say I've had a 'few beers' it might actually mean a 'half dozen'.

So what I'm getting at is these guys probably had more than a 'couple bottles' of wine and were pretty inebriated.

Let's hope the NFL isn't helping the PGA Tour locate the real surveillance tapes.
[/quote]
I've used "a couple of beers" to describe six pints, a couple of scotch and waters and a shot or so.
[/quote]

No I wasn't drunk! I was just exhausted from going out drinking all night, it's different, leave me alone.

[monkeynaut]

[quote name='padget' timestamp='1421793601' post='10786029']
[quote name='monkeynaut' timestamp='1421792933' post='10785969']
[quote name='smiley9929' timestamp='1421792224' post='10785907']
In one of the early accounts of the story his 'friend / caddie' said they didn't drink that much, just a 'couple bottles of wine' and that someone must have drugged Allenby for him to be that messed up.

I don't know about you but when I say I've had a 'few beers' it might actually mean a 'half dozen'.

So what I'm getting at is these guys probably had more than a 'couple bottles' of wine and were pretty inebriated.

Let's hope the NFL isn't helping the PGA Tour locate the real surveillance tapes.
[/quote]
I've used "a couple of beers" to describe six pints, a couple of scotch and waters and a shot or so.
[/quote]

No I wasn't drunk! I was just exhausted from going out drinking all night, it's different, leave me alone.
[/quote]
Oh man, my sister never partied at all when we were young. Her first year in college she got invited to some thing with her theatre friends that had an open bar and for some reason took me (17 year old) with her. Long story short, the paramedics were called b/c they though she had alcohol poisoning. after sitting her in a shower in somebody's dorm, I had the duty of taking her back home. the whole time I kept telling her, "Walk in quietly and say your just really tired. Say nothing else."

I go into the house and my dad the insomniac is watching some old western. "Where's your sister?" He asks.
"She's spilled her purse or something. She'll be in in a minute. She's really tired."
20 minutes pass and my Dad asks "Where'd you say your sister was?"
I say, "Um, you might want to go get her."
He drags her in and the whole time she's muttering "I'm just really tired."
He drops her on her bed and calls me up. She's still muttering.
My old man looks at me and says, "You got something to tell me?"
I say, "Yeah. Look, I'm only telling you this because I don't want you to freak out when you see the ambulance bill. Oh, by the way, you might want to flip her onto her stomach. We don't want her to 'Jimi Hendrix' all over herself."


Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. How much did Appleby really have to drink?

[Swoosh-Thud]

It was a million to one shot, Doc.........................