Today was the day I officially found the strength to walk away.

[wmblake2000]

Funny how powerful golf can be. Can kick us when we're down, be a way to great enjoyment, grind our spirit down or be a way to find incredible connection to Mystery.

 

Lot of good stuff in this thread. The only thing I could add is it's my experience that the pursuit of meaning and joy is not a trivial process. It takes developing clarity, courage and discipline.

 

Not unlike improving at golf.

[ofortuna]

Today I concluded that I need to quit golf. I don't want to quit but I need to. I've suspected this for the last couple seasons. I don't know when it stopped being fun, but my golf game, if it were a person, would be depressed and suicidal.

 

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

 

For the last 5 years I've treated golf like a wife, but the truth is, it's more like heroin. Golf has really just been a distraction. There's no reason for it to be there in my life and it's brought on some really dark thoughts. As I hit 30, I don't see a future with golf. I just don't understand why a sane person would continue down this path. Over the last couple seasons, my analytical side has taken over and the endless waves of self-hate and rage have become too much too ignore. I'd say I leave the golf course angry about 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm just apathetic despite shooting a lousy number.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this.

 

Sounds like your primary goal is to become more social through golf but it's not working out. I think allowing yourself to become too analytical and compulsive with your golf game might be getting in the way. You may be thinking that becoming a great golfer will bring respect, friends, and be a springboard for working out other difficult parts of your life. If you want more friends you need to lighten up. No one wants to hang out on the golf course with someone constantly getting angry. I understand getting mad over a shot or two but if you're mad all the time then your expectations are unrealistic. People don't like abusive people. Even if the only person you abuse is yourself.

 

Wish you luck!

[Forged4ever]

Morning Bro, how ya feeling?

 

Have a good one :)

 

All the Best,

RP

[JWATTS]

Find reasons to leave the golf course happy:

 

Play golf for peace of mind.

 

Enjoy being outside and not surrounded by tons of concrete and steel buildings.

 

Enjoy just moving your body and not sitting down doing nothing.

 

Go to the course and expect to hit one really good shot or one good putt...that's all!

[cmbdrx]

30? Single? An engineer? Music skills? Virtually unlimited time for golf?

 

I don't think you are going to get a whole lot of sympathy from us geezers. Trust me, 25 years from now you will be yearning for such simplicity. We are all prisoners of our point of view and we romanticize what we don't have or can't do. I read through your passage a few times and there are quite a few contradictions. Golf is never the problem, it is just the vehicle that pulls back the layers in other parts of our lives.

 

Put the clubs in the corner of the garage for a day, a week, or a month. You will either get the bug again or move on.

 

Seriously, great post. Sometimes you find wisdom in the strangest places (e.g. a golf forum). Thank you.

[mact3333]

Personally, I think to know fully appreciate why we are here, you need to have children first.

And Richards perspective is very important too, I help cancer patients, and when compared to that, worrying about golf is a good problem to have. But I fully realize this thread isn't about golf at all.

 

This thread has been the most interesting thread I have read in awhile.

[billh17]

You can quit the game for a long time and come back with a whole new appreciation. It has been done by a lot of us,as the posts here show.

The big thing when you do come back,or even if you choose to stay right now...make golf a part of your life and enjoy it as that. Just a part.

[Tanner25]

The change is simple...go to the golf ball forum and stay away from the instruction forum. Although, wondering whether you need a spinny tour ball vs a 2 piece distance ball, can drive you crazy too. Best Wishes man!

[ZA206]

Sounds like you are kinda drifting through life without a destination.... There can be no journey unless there is a destination and a course to follow. You need to think of a destination for your life, map your course, and go full steam ahead. You will find happiness, love and friends during the journey and gain satisfaction from observing your progress on the journey.

 

Drifting through life ends in regret, sorrow and resentment... Not what anyone wants or needs.

 

-ZA

 

 

 

 

[pmcuk]

Sounds like you are kinda drifting through life without a destination.... There can be no journey unless there is a destination and a course to follow. You need to think of a destination for your life, map your course, and go full steam ahead. You will find happiness, love and friends during the journey and gain satisfaction from observing your progress on the journey.

 

Drifting through life ends in regret, sorrow and resentment... Not what anyone wants or needs.

 

-ZA

 

Bear in mind that personality differs from one person to the next. Some are planners and some are spontaneous improvisers. Spontaneous people get a lot out of life because they follow their instincts and tend to be true to themselves. Planning people get things done and probably earn more and hold down more jobs. Doesn't mean that they are more fulfilled, however. That's a different thing.

[Troezen]

This post has inspired me to quit trying to improve at golf. That's where frustration comes from. The fun is in not practicing and going out once in a while to play and sometimes being pleasantly surprised by a decent round.

I'm pretty solidly set in my ways in all facets of this game. I will never be scratch. No need to keep banging my head against a wall.

Thanks Mello.

 

What's interesting about this game is it is so individual. I have the exact opposite opinion on this- trying to get better is the reason I love it. It's a never-ending chase for perfection and that is why I am so passionate about the game.

[farmer]

Sounds like you are kinda drifting through life without a destination.... There can be no journey unless there is a destination and a course to follow. You need to think of a destination for your life, map your course, and go full steam ahead. You will find happiness, love and friends during the journey and gain satisfaction from observing your progress on the journey.

 

Drifting through life ends in regret, sorrow and resentment... Not what anyone wants or needs.

 

-ZA

But life is fluid, and changes all the time. You can have tools, an excellent plan with goals, and then sh!t happens.

[crich88848]

I'd say your problems are a little deeper rooted than golf. My guess is that simply quitting golf will not eliminate these feelings. You need to see help and fix the real cause of these problems.

[TheKrushh]

I've seen a couple different posts with this type of a theme. I can't for the life of me understand how someone has to walk away or sell all their clubs or whatever thing they are doing and CONTINUES to spend time on these golf nut forums. I read that post as an incredibly emotional statement so maybe that's where I'm missing sometime but I just don't get how these people are walking away but are still hanging out with the craziest of golf crazies.

 

Can someone help me here?

[pmata814]

I've seen a couple different posts with this type of a theme. I can't for the life of me understand how someone has to walk away or sell all their clubs or whatever thing they are doing and CONTINUES to spend time on these golf nut forums. I read that post as an incredibly emotional statement so maybe that's where I'm missing sometime but I just don't get how these people are walking away but are still hanging out with the craziest of golf crazies.

 

Can someone help me here?

 

I played tennis and was obsessed with it for 10 years. Last summer i decided to try golf. Within 2 months time i was obsessed. I used to frequent the Tennis warehouse boards. I quit tennis and just stopped posting. I interpret this post as a cry for help...or for attention.

 

Either way, this thread has achieved both i think. ;-)

[Smash Factors]

As a competitive person, It's hard to have fun on the golf course when you aren't playing near your expectations. Golf will be very frustrating for people like that.

 

All I can say is that you don't really need to give up the game. You just need to play less and not care about your score and where the ball ends up. For a competitive person this can be hard....but it's possible.

 

It might be better to stop caring about where the ball goes and what your score is. Instead, just enjoy the time on the course with your friends and knock the ball around. Care not where it goes or what you score.

[Forged4ever]

Damn, I hope that you didn't just walk away from the board

 

This is a Great thread but I don't wanna listen to a bunch of guys talkin about how much the game has meant to em and usin golf metaphors for life-

 

Christ, I can just read my stuff for that

 

Mellow, hell, you can get sarcastic and cynical with me just like ya used to

 

At least let us know how you're doin

 

On a serious note, you've been in my thoughts and tonight I was in one of those worthless group sessions and this guy said the worst part of goin through chemo was that his golf game had gone to s***, and I asked what his cap was and he said 18-19.

 

I couldn't help it, though I busted out laughing cuz c'mon, if your game went to s*** and you were an 18-19 to start with....

 

Ah forget it-

 

Oh, and they think that I'm insensitive in my group session.

 

Only you guys get to see my feminine side :)

 

Oh, and Bro, if you end up in Orlando, Maddie has two good friends who are Pros down there. Cute girls, witty with great personalities. And neither one gives a damn if a guy plays the game or not. One's a blonde, the other brunette.

 

HaHa, I may start a match maker business for female golf Pros.

 

Well Bro, I hope that you're well, and I'll tell ya something that a guy in group said to me on time when I was down, moanin and groanin and that is that as long as you gotta pulse, you gotta chance-

 

I thought it was dumb as hell and I wanted to punch him in the face but hell, it's late, I'm zoned and that's all I got :)

 

Stay well My Friend and Keep the Faith

 

Always,

Richard

[Forged4ever]

Sounds like you are kinda drifting through life without a destination.... There can be no journey unless there is a destination and a course to follow. You need to think of a destination for your life, map your course, and go full steam ahead. You will find happiness, love and friends during the journey and gain satisfaction from observing your progress on the journey.

 

Drifting through life ends in regret, sorrow and resentment... Not what anyone wants or needs.

 

-ZA

You can have tools, an excellent plan with goals, and then sh!t happens.

THIS is My nomination for post of the thread!!

 

Very Nicely Played :)

 

All the Best,

RP

[Hoganstriker]

A lot of advice given.

Golfs not about constantly working on your swing. That's my takeaway. I am loving no more practice. Hitting range balls is a lot like punch a clown IMO.

 

Punch a clown lol I typed master bay shun.

[wmblake2000]

I've seen a couple different posts with this type of a theme. I can't for the life of me understand how someone has to walk away or sell all their clubs or whatever thing they are doing and CONTINUES to spend time on these golf nut forums. I read that post as an incredibly emotional statement so maybe that's where I'm missing sometime but I just don't get how these people are walking away but are still hanging out with the craziest of golf crazies.

 

Can someone help me here?

 

It's called ambivalence.

[oikos1]

Absolutely most pathetic "Instruction and Academy" thread running...

[pmcuk]

Absolutely most pathetic "Instruction and Academy" thread running...

 

You're using "pathos" in its true sense of course?

 

Appealing to our emotions, evoking sympathy and compassion.....

[steka]

Here's a different view.

I'm 30, married, 1 kid, second on its way. I'm an engineer too, and a manager of almost 40 people. I'm social enough at work, need to make decisions at a fast pace. Someone give me the bucks to walk away from that and I'd straight forward do it.

An early round of golf, 7 am on the first tee, alone, gives me some "me time". The only decision I need to make is what kind of shot I want to hit. Just peaceful, joyful golf, even though I'm a person striving for excellence everywhere. Afterwards I would pick up some rolls and gave breakfast with the family, it is just the greatest thing and I'm very much looking forward to take my son with me as soon as he is old enough. Formerly I was riding my motorcycle but decided to let that go as soon as I became a father. Easy decision even though I loved it. Why? Because that decision served a purpose.

 

OP, find what gives you peace. Sounds like your main focus is to have a wife. We always talk work life balance, when really it is a work life and myself balance.

Being single at 30 is no big deal.... but if you really want a family and a purpose in life : define and hunt after it

[kobe23]

Today I concluded that I need to quit golf. I don't want to quit but I need to. I've suspected this for the last couple seasons. I don't know when it stopped being fun, but my golf game, if it were a person, would be depressed and suicidal.

 

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

 

For the last 5 years I've treated golf like a wife, but the truth is, it's more like heroin. Golf has really just been a distraction. There's no reason for it to be there in my life and it's brought on some really dark thoughts. As I hit 30, I don't see a future with golf. I just don't understand why a sane person would continue down this path. Over the last couple seasons, my analytical side has taken over and the endless waves of self-hate and rage have become too much too ignore. I'd say I leave the golf course angry about 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm just apathetic despite shooting a lousy number.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this.

 

Golf to soothe your ego when you hit a good flushed shot, you feel like a pro

[Nard_S]

I chased being a pro musician till I was 27. I walked away in one day. I worked for a family business for 25 years. I walked away in a day. I landed a good job with good benefits and secure future but I quit and started my own with a family of 5 to feed. I did it in a day. I walked away from golf for 7 years. I did it in a day.

 

Point is: The best decisions of my life were when I decided to end something to start anew. It's not what you do it's how you go about doing it. Journey not destination. We all end up in the same place, some had a better journey getting there than others. The good part is we have our hands on the wheel and we can navigate a lot of it. Not all but more than we sometimes allow.

 

I picked up the game again 4 years ago, I play it now for the right reasons and with a better devotion. Loving it every day. Enjoying the journey.

 

If putting golf aside opens you up to reboot, do it without regret, it will always be there.

[Forged4ever]

Absolutely most pathetic "Instruction and Academy" thread running...

Almost as pathetic as firing comments from behind the safety of a keyboard and screen using a fictitious UN and stock fantasy pic of some blonde, LMAO

 

Yeehawwwwww, TGIF

 

Enjoy the weekend :)

 

Later,

RP

[pmcuk]

 

I chased being a pro musician till I was 27. I walked away in one day. I worked for a family business for 25 years. I walked away in a day. I landed a good job with good benefits and secure future but I quit and started my own with a family of 5 to feed. I did it in a day. I walked away from golf for 7 years. I did it in a day.

 

 

No wonder you like golf - you do a lot of walking!

 

It would take at least a buggy to get me away from playing music in general....... though like you I decided in a day to go from pro music to psychology.

[GolfNuts4]

This may be the best post on this forum and really has made me think. I feel terribly for the OP. I am a high handicapper and definitely the worst player in my group of 20 guys that I play with. I get frustrated as well and I played other sports (hockey/baseball) at a fairly high level. I question as to why I am so bad at this game and if I should do something else. I always come to the conclusion that I do this for fun and the most enjoyment is hanging with my friends, laughing at my game and the post round fun. Most of us on this board do not play golf for a living, this is a game, too many take it way too serious. It is a wonderful game to meet people, make friendships, smell the fresh air and see the beautiful landscape. Life is precious, I certainly hope the OP is still around and is reading everyone's reply's. This is good stuff.

[Nard_S]

I chased being a pro musician till I was 27. I walked away in one day. I worked for a family business for 25 years. I walked away in a day. I landed a good job with good benefits and secure future but I quit and started my own with a family of 5 to feed. I did it in a day. I walked away from golf for 7 years. I did it in a day.

 

 

No wonder you like golf - you do a lot of walking!

 

It would take at least a buggy to get me away from playing music in general....... though like you I decided in a day to go from pro music to psychology.

 

Ha!. I do. And i still carry my own bag

 

I walk but I never really leave it behind. Bridges were never scorched, just traversed. How you walk is just as important as to where you walking to.Passion is the compass.

[Arafel]