Chris

[Kstatewildcat]

My son just turned 12, I have had a club in his hand since he was two. We have been members at a private club since he was young, he is with one of the best coaches in the state that he respects and admires. his swing is about picture perfect. He is pretty close to a 5 if not a little better. It seems since the start of Covid he has just lost interest in the game and now becomes angry and just falls apart with a missed putt or pushed drive and tournaments are even worse. I have not pushed like some parents, any advice? Should I push him a little harder or give him time to come back to it. I certainly don’t want him to just think it’s ok to quit just because it’s hard. 

[Hawkeye77]

You'll probably get more insights in the junior golf section.  

 

No idea what you mean by pushing like some parents, that covers a wide range of acceptable and (IMO) unacceptable parenting, but it is them and their kids.  

 

No way anyone can provide much insight not knowing you, your son, your home/school/relationship contexts and observing his behavior and your interactions.  Stabs in the dark at things for which the underlying causes may not even be related to golf and . . . you don't know any of those kinds of things about the people you want advice from.  Strangers on the internet probably not the best source for parenting advice in general. I could provide examples from situations with my kids - you don't know anything about us or anyone else who might lend a hand and all with the best of intentions. 

 

You and your son, possibly with his coach involved in some way (possibly not) need to sort it out.  Real conversations vs. virtual ones. You'll figure it out and it will be great.

 

All IMO.   

 

 

 

 

Edited January 21, 2022 by Hawkeye77

[kmc]

My son showed interest in playing at 8-9 years old. I was all for it. We played public for a year and then joined a private club. He was always competitive in any sport he played. I never gave advice/tips etc., just let him enjoy the game and bring as many of his friends along as he wanted. As he got older, he wanted to improve. I suggested lessons and he did take a few which helped him understand his swing. Fast forward to his high school years, when golf became serious to him, and he became a scratch player. He didn't play much at all in college, engineering school was tough. He's now 30 with a successful career and plays 15-20 rounds per year. We play M/G events together,casual rounds, and money rounds. He's not scratch anymore, but is a threat to shoot 75 every time he tees it up. His swing looks just like it did in his younger years, textbook. I can't describe the joy I experience every time we play. Priceless. 

Enjoy your time/golf with him. It's a game you/he can enjoy together for many years.

KMC

[mgoblue83]

Your post makes it pretty clear that you have indeed pushed him "like some parents". 

 

If he doesn't enjoy golf then get him involved in other activities.

 

If he wants to play then let him enjoy it without hovering over every shot. 

 

Stop the lessons indefinitely. 

 

[tiger1873]

Get back to the basics and make sure golf is fun.   Does he like to practice? This is key to everything.   If he has fun with golf just have him keep playing.

 

The hardest part is seeing a kid with good fundamentals seem to fall apart in tournaments. This is very common because he is growing and maybe working on tons stuff.  It's an age thing for sure.

 

Good chance he is just frustrated more than anything else.  

 

So this assumes he likes to practice and play. If not then this is not going to work.

 

1st forget about how they place in tournaments. It doesn't matter turn the focus on them improving their score.  At the end of a tournament just pick 1 thing and eliminate it that cost the most strokes. If they don't do it in the next tournament it was a success. 

 

Small goals goes a long way in setting up expectations.  If he likes in about 2 or 3 years you see massive improvement. This what I did.

 

At the end of the day your the parent if they want to play video games I would push them to play golf. 

[BloctonGolf11]

The why is the problem existing is simple but a set answer also doesn't exist, he is 12, welcome to the hormone roller coaster. God be with you, no right answers, every kid is different. 

Edited January 21, 2022 by BloctonGolf11

[heavy_hitter]

It is common.  As kids progress and get better, they may show emotion to the little things.  It was particularly bad with my son from 12-14ish.  If finances are allowed, get him a sports therapist.  If you want to PM me I can give you a name. 

[leezer99]

I say you push him and he folds like a cheap suit then at least you'll know that this isn't the sport for him.  It might be that he needs a team sport to flourish.

[Movingday]

Puberty

[TripleBogeysrbetter]

If he likes to read I would suggest this one.

 

"Golf is Not a Game of Perfect"

 

Helped my son.  He would often get frustrated.

 

I hope you guys are still playing into your 80s.

[BloctonGolf11]

39 minutes ago, leezer99 said:

I say you push him and he folds like a cheap suit then at least you'll know that this isn't the sport for him.  It might be that he needs a team sport to flourish.

Folds like a cheap suit...are you 80 Leezer? I thought @heavy_hitterwas the only AARP member in this section.

[kekoa]

Some kids need a bit of pushing, but in your situation it could really backfire on you.  If I was to give any advice, I would be to just give him some time and see if he will come back to golf on his own.  Maybe he just needs a break and that is fine as he is still young.  

 

I would be lying if I said I'm not hard on my son as well.  I think it is really hard when kids start golf so early.  Mine started golf around the age of 2 as well and began competitive play around the age of 5.  A part of me feels as though he won way too much when he was young to a point where he almost expected to win every time out.  We all know that golf doesn't work that way and a lot of kids who were not as good a few years ago improved a lot to become competitive.

 

To my point earlier, I would send your kid out with his buddies and let them have fun on the course without parents around nit picking every shot.  Give him a break from tournament golf until he is ready and willing to play. 

[heavy_hitter]

2 hours ago, BloctonGolf11 said:

Folds like a cheap suit...are you 80 Leezer? I thought @heavy_hitterwas the only AARP member in this section.

[BloctonGolf11]

1 minute ago, heavy_hitter said:

 

Live view of Heavy

 

[heavy_hitter]

2 minutes ago, BloctonGolf11 said:

 

Live view of Heavy

 

[BloctonGolf11]

1 minute ago, heavy_hitter said:

Totally off topic but I want a movie about that guy really was the mass murderer they talked about. How crazy would that be for the Home Alone Universe? Also, I am convinced Kevin's dad was in organized crime. No way he could afford that house and those vacations otherwise.

[leezer99]

56 minutes ago, BloctonGolf11 said:

Totally off topic but I want a movie about that guy really was the mass murderer they talked about. How crazy would that be for the Home Alone Universe? Also, I am convinced Kevin's dad was in organized crime. No way he could afford that house and those vacations otherwise.

We all know who the drug kingpin is around here. 

[Ray Jackson]

My son just turned 13, been competing for 3 years, has been playing since about 7/8. 
 

I find he gets mad when he plays with me, doesn’t when playing with his friends. Tournaments, only ‘mad’ for a few seconds at a time immediately after a  bad shot. 
 

he’s a typical teenager and doesn’t want to listen to me when I try to help him/initiate the advice but does come looking for help. He’s started seeing a mental coach and it is definitely helping his thoughts on the course but he’s still a teenager. 
 

I give him a lot of space but if he’s not doing his work from a coach or whomever (not me), I remind him that he’s not doing any of this for me but for his self. I am willing to support him financially through the process but I won’t waste my money. 
 

At tournaments I watch from at least half a hole away distance. I take notes in my phone as he plays re where shots ended up and I send the notes to him no sooner than a full day after the tournament ends. 
 

I don’t know your son, maybe he’s feeling pressure from somewhere/somehow, actual or imagined. 
 

give him some space, tell him your proud of him. 

[RmoorePE]

Lots of good advice. Golf is an individual game, and everyone is different. Like Ray Jackson's son, my daughter gets super angry when we play together. With her friends she is fine. So her and I only play every now and then, I love playing with her, but she is just not that fun to play with despite beating me and my friends like a pinata for money all day long. If it is an evening out on the course with no one around I just goof off while she plays, set up scenarios (i.e. "see if you can get this ball from under this tree, into the hole in 3 shots").

 

To keep her interest, I got a personal cart in the cart barn, money on the accounts for snacks and drinks and just let her and her friends loose. Goal is to try and get her to ask me to take her to the golf course, instead of the other way around. If you are pushing them to be there, that is no fun for anyone, and they will turn it around on you. The freedom of the cart and being out in the world with her friends is great for them, makes them feel like adults and sometimes they even play or practice golf.

 

 

 

 

[tiger1873]

2 hours ago, RmoorePE said:

Lots of good advice. Golf is an individual game, and everyone is different. Like Ray Jackson's son, my daughter gets super angry when we play together. With her friends she is fine. So her and I only play every now and then, I love playing with her, but she is just not that fun to play with despite beating me and my friends like a pinata for money all day long. If it is an evening out on the course with no one around I just goof off while she plays, set up scenarios (i.e. "see if you can get this ball from under this tree, into the hole in 3 shots").

 

To keep her interest, I got a personal cart in the cart barn, money on the accounts for snacks and drinks and just let her and her friends loose. Goal is to try and get her to ask me to take her to the golf course, instead of the other way around. If you are pushing them to be there, that is no fun for anyone, and they will turn it around on you. The freedom of the cart and being out in the world with her friends is great for them, makes them feel like adults and sometimes they even play or practice golf.

 

 

 

 

 

One the hardest things for me was i had to learn to leave the clubs at home.  
 

Everyone thinks if your kids golf it means more golf time for you but when i talk to other dads we all complain about how we never play much now.
 

You have to focus golf on them. My wife will take her clubs out and my girls hate playing with her.  

Edited January 25, 2022 by tiger1873

[Ray Jackson]

My comment was more aimed at when he plays with me he wants to play his absolute best at all times. 
 

So now we play with a buddy of ours and it’s best ball, but the best of their two balls versus my one, straight up. He has fun being in the team with  our friend against me ha ha. Most times it’s very close, maybe only $5. Play front back total $5 each one. He’s competing, has something at risk and has to support his partner most rounds.