We have launched our new enhanced Editor. There is an overview and tutorial Here.

24 Laws of golf

 chas521 ·  
chas521chas521  1171WRX Points: 128Members Posts: 1,171
Joined:  in The 19th Hole #1
I posted this before but it still makes me laugh.


LAW 1:
No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have Inner Peace knowing that a shittier one is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.[/background][/font]











LAW 2:
Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.







LAW 3:
Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most unusual natural alloy.







LAW 4:
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.







LAW 5:
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.







LAW 6:
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.







LAW 7:
All 3-woods are demon-possessed. Your Mother in Law does not come close.







LAW 8:
Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water. See LAW 3.







LAW 9:
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.







LAW 10:
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.







LAW 11:
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.







LAW 12:
Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.







LAW 13:
If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.







LAW 14:
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.







LAW 15:
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.





LAW 16:
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.







LAW 17:
It's not a gimme if you're still 4 feet away.







LAW 18:
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.







LAW 19:
You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.







LAW 20:
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make a double or triple bogey to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.







LAW 21:
If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to use it to lay up just short of a water hazard.







LAW 22:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.







LAW 23:
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.







LAW 24:
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Posted:
1

Comments

  • QuigleyDUQuigleyDU  8631WRX Points: 2,225Members Posts: 8,631
    Joined:  edited Mar 21, 2019 5:45pm #2
    hahaha. 

    ! would add
    25. Tossing grass into the air only proves your a ****. 

    Posted:
    Driver: Callaway Epic SubZero 3D 9*, Fujikura Ventus 7X
    3 iron Cobra King Utility Aldila Rouge 90 X flex
    4-PW Mizuno MP-18 MB Aldila RIP SLT Tour 115X Flex
    WEDGES; CLEVELAND RTX4: 52, 58, 64
    PUTTER; Kronos release long neck
    BALL; 2019 ProV1 yellow/Snell MTB-X yellow
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area. 25147WRX Points: 2,124ClubWRX Posts: 25,147
    Joined:  #3
    Mrs. Pelz's Mother is the exception that proves rule 7.
    Posted:
  • kmcelhaneykmcelhaney  157WRX Points: 50Members Posts: 157
    Joined:  #4
    QuigleyDU said:
    hahaha. 

    ! would add
    25. Tossing grass into the air only proves your a ****. 

    I throw grass.... and it is you're*, haha
    Posted:
  • JohnnyCashForeverJohnnyCashForever I got Willie on the radio and a dozen things on my mind PA 404WRX Points: 337Members Posts: 404
    Joined:  edited Mar 22, 2019 10:20am #5
    You lost me at %&$*!-ier. 

    I guess the new forum budget was spent on bright white and not a profanity censor.
    Posted:
  • QuigleyDUQuigleyDU  8631WRX Points: 2,225Members Posts: 8,631
    Joined:  #6
    QuigleyDU said:
    hahaha. 

    ! would add
    25. Tossing grass into the air only proves your a ****. 

    I throw grass.... and it is you're*, haha


    you're correct.. hahaha. I think throwing grass kinda defeats the point. 
    Posted:
    Driver: Callaway Epic SubZero 3D 9*, Fujikura Ventus 7X
    3 iron Cobra King Utility Aldila Rouge 90 X flex
    4-PW Mizuno MP-18 MB Aldila RIP SLT Tour 115X Flex
    WEDGES; CLEVELAND RTX4: 52, 58, 64
    PUTTER; Kronos release long neck
    BALL; 2019 ProV1 yellow/Snell MTB-X yellow
  • kyleluteskylelutes  82WRX Points: 47Members Posts: 82
    Joined:  #7

    Hilarious

    Posted:
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • Crazy_BikerdudeCrazy_Bikerdude Wisconsin 39WRX Points: 34Members Posts: 39
    Joined:  #8
    This should be carved in stone on the first tee.
    Posted:
  • SBH9458SBH9458 Go Army! Beat Navy!  1083WRX Points: 139Members Posts: 1,083
    Joined:  #9

    Funny stuff! So true on 22!

    Posted:
  • Carl Spackler3Carl Spackler3  1137WRX Points: 318Members Posts: 1,137
    Joined:  #10

    Great stuff , thanks

    Posted:
    Titleist 915 D2
    Ping G 3 W
    Ping G 5W
    Ping G25 Hybrid
    Mizuno JPX 900 hot metal 5-GW
    Vokey 52-08 sm4
    Vokey 56-14 sm6
    Odyssey White Hot RX2 ( but it better be careful)
  • billh17billh17 just happy to play  3015WRX Points: 1,937Members Posts: 3,015
    Joined:  #11

    Perfect ! Good stuff, thanks

    Posted:
    Certified Orginal Member#2
    Outlaw Golf Association
    To Heck with the USGA
  • andrueandrue  1395WRX Points: 214Members Posts: 1,395
    Joined:  #12

    The easiest way to guarantee a bogie is to have a par opportunity.

    Posted:
    Callaway Rogue Driver.
    Callaway Big Bertha OS Hybrids (3/4/5)
    Callaway Big Bertha OS Irons (6/7/8/9/PW/AW/SW)
    Callaway 60* Sureout wedge
    Callaway 64* Sureout wedge
    Ghost Spider Si 72 Putter
    Callaway Super Soft Yellow (White in winter).
  • GolfWRXGolfWRX Warning Points: 0  11 Members Posts: 11 #ad
    Joined:  ...

    Advertisement
  • fillwelixfillwelix Boston Area 1337WRX Points: 205Members Posts: 1,337
    Joined:  #13

    When playing through a foursome as a single, make sure to have a second ball ready after firing your first one goes off the planet

    Posted:
    WITB
    Taylormade M3 Speeder Evo IV 565 X
    Taylormade M2 2016 3HL HZRDUS Black 75g S
    Mizuno MP33 3i Steelfiber i110 
    Taylormade P770 4i-5i Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade P730 6-PW Modus 3 Tour 120 S
    Taylormade MG 52 KBS Tour-V 130 S
    Taylormade Hi-Toe 58 & 64 KBS Hi Rev Wedge
    Byron Morgan DH89
  • gatorgolfer86gatorgolfer86  76WRX Points: 51Members Posts: 76
    Joined:  #14

    Love this. Law 12 might have broken my head

    Posted:
  • SecondandGoalSecondandGoal South Shore MA 442WRX Points: 249Members Posts: 442
    Joined:  #15

    I've lived law 20 more often than I want to think about. We call it the FUAB - F*** Up After Birdie.

    Posted:
  • ohioglfrohioglfr Municipal Junkie Dayton, Ohio 831WRX Points: 147Members Posts: 831
    Joined:  #16

    Law #9 hits home . . .

    Posted:

    Adams Speedline 9088UL 10.5* AXIVCore 69 Black (S)
    Ping G SF Tec 3W, 5W Alta 65 (R)
    Ping G 4H,5H Alta 70 (R)
    Ping G 6-U TT XP 95 (soft R)
    Ping Glide 54*, 58* WS TT XP 100 (R)
    Ping Darby Sigma G

  • JDFishJDFish Pickerington, Ohio 910WRX Points: 165Members Posts: 910
    Joined:  #17

    On -, @SecondandGoal said:

    I've lived law 20 more often than I want to think about. We call it the FUAB - F*** Up After Birdie.

    We call it a PBFU - Post-birdie f*** up.

    Posted:
    Callaway Epic 9.0 Fujikura Atmos Black TS 6S
    Callaway XR Pro 3 wood
    Callaway XR 5 wood
    Taylormade GAPR 3 Mid KBS 80 S
    Ping i200 Nippon N.S.Pro Modus3 Tour 105S - 4-UW
    Titleist Vokey SM6 54* and 58* S200
    Evnroll ER8 33"

Leave a Comment

Rich Text Editor. To edit a paragraph's style, hit tab to get to the paragraph menu. From there you will be able to pick one style. Nothing defaults to paragraph. An inline formatting menu will show up when you select text. Hit tab to get into that menu. Some elements, such as rich link embeds, images, loading indicators, and error messages may get inserted into the editor. You may navigate to these using the arrow keys inside of the editor and delete them with the delete or backspace key.