Goofiest, Most Delusional Golfer Played With

[timsiegle]

Has anyone else had the feeling, shortly after starting to read one of these stories...

 

(breath quickens, heart races)...(whispers) "this is me"...

 

Then it fades as the story becomes more and more bizarre

[TCJ]

I thought for sure I was the only one with a goal of making the Champions Tour. Looks like I'm going to have some stiff competition!

[markhd]

Boy, and I was worried my son-in-law would post how bad I blew the member-guest. (And now he probably will.) Anyway, Stories Are What Makes Golf Great, please keep 'em coming.

[ablewalker]

I thought for sure I was the only one with a goal of making the Champions Tour. Looks like I'm going to have some stiff competition!

 

Along the same lines I was thinking there is an awful lot of players breaking 90 and even 80 who are barely breaking 100 because they are "delusional"..... :swoon: "Whiffs and Mulligans are not strokes!!"

[canuckhacker]

When I started golfing, it was a friend who liked to booze. He would bring bottles of Jack Daniels or Tequila to the course, plus a dozen beer. He didn't drive a vehicle, so he could get as pissed as he wanted. He was the type of guy that would think he was way better, the drunker he got(that was for everything, pool, darts etc.). I think there were lots of times he probably didn't remember the back 9. Had tons of crazy golf experiences with that guy.

I mean I've been to golf tournaments where people are too drunk to hit the ball, but it was an every game experience with this guy.

[ArkJag]

Myself.

[spartan6910]

I don't have any stories in particular, but this thread reminds me that the old adage holds true: Actions speak louder than words. I've found that the louder you talk about your game, the less game you actually have. Never fails.

[JOEL714]

I have told this before but...

 

When I took up golf my Brother in Law was the only golfer I knew, but he lived in a different town. He told me he was pretty good and was around a scratch golfer and all his buddies were too. For years I would call him up for advice and pay attention given how good he was, until one day he was going to join me and some buddies for a golf trip. We warned him none of us could break 80 so he would be the best of the bunch.

 

He met my wife and I before the trip and we go play a pitch and putt for fun. Right away I see he is pretty brutal on the little 60-100 yard holes and is retaking most of his shots, but I figure it was a long flight he just need to loosen up, so he is hitting a few mulligans etc. He then wants to start betting. He then still wants to take mulligans. I let him know he can't and he tells me 'the we way play you get unlimited mulligans. I let him know 'the way we play is written in a handy little book. - No Mulligans ever!" I thought the mulligan thing was bad, but on the greens he would take mulligans by raking back bad short putts and re-hitting them and the kicker - gimmes's don't count. :swoon: Yes if he was lying 4, 2' from the hole he would pick it up it was 4 not a 5 he counted.

 

I had sit him down that night and let him know on the trip we would be playing by all the rules of golf. After 5 rounds of play he did not break 110. The funny thing is he really thought he was a scratch golfer with unlimited mulligans and short putts not counting.

JUST FURTHER PROOF OF MY FAVORITE SAYING "GOD LOVES a*******.,,,,HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM."

[lowheel]

Playeing at my home course

 

Kid comes up on the tee after complaining the course wouldn't let him pay the junior rate even though he's 23

(I'm 20 at the time and a member )

 

Around the fourth hole me and a friend ask what he does

 

He said just saving up money for q school

I didn't play well that day probally shot 76 or so (d2 golfer ) and beat this kid by 25 shots

 

Can not believe he was thinking about spending the 5 grand on q school

 

This happens quite often. I played several rounds at championsgate 3 years ago in the fall in orlando then a few at orange county national. I played with several "pros" saying exactly that and barely breaking 80. I shot 74 with 3 doubles in my first round off the plane shot par on my second 18 of the day and the guy i was playing with said hes practicing for q school shot 78-79 riding a cart no less. He asked me why I wasnt trying to go to q school, I said i just do mini tours and work at a local course and that ship sailed for me. A great instructor in the orlando area is Brad Brewer, he has stories like this galore. Hes been featured on the golf channel. Ive witnessed him giving lessons to guys saying these things and his face goes pale because he knows its not even remotely possible that they even sniff getting there. He literally says burn your money its better spent. Its hard to hear sometimes though. Some of these guys cant pass their PAT but they have this unshakable idea in their head that theyre better than they are. Im all for chasing the dream but reality has to kick in at some point

[Aaronwilson_95]

Playeing at my home course

 

Kid comes up on the tee after complaining the course wouldn't let him pay the junior rate even though he's 23

(I'm 20 at the time and a member )

 

Around the fourth hole me and a friend ask what he does

 

He said just saving up money for q school

I didn't play well that day probally shot 76 or so (d2 golfer ) and beat this kid by 25 shots

 

Can not believe he was thinking about spending the 5 grand on q school

 

This happens quite often. I played several rounds at championsgate 3 years ago in the fall in orlando then a few at orange county national. I played with several "pros" saying exactly that and barely breaking 80. I shot 74 with 3 doubles in my first round off the plane shot par on my second 18 of the day and the guy i was playing with said hes practicing for q school shot 78-79 riding a cart no less. He asked me why I wasnt trying to go to q school, I said i just do mini tours and work at a local course and that ship sailed for me. A great instructor in the orlando area is Brad Brewer, he has stories like this galore. Hes been featured on the golf channel. Ive witnessed him giving lessons to guys saying these things and his face goes pale because he knows its not even remotely possible that they even sniff getting there. He literally says burn your money its better spent. Its hard to hear sometimes though. Some of these guys cant pass their PAT but they have this unshakable idea in their head that theyre better than they are. Im all for chasing the dream but reality has to kick in at some point

The kicker is he didn't realize who he was saying this too .(I've played well in a few events & know how good you have to be to make it type of thing ) There wasn't even a player that hadn't played in a long time anywhere in his game . I asked if he plays in any tournaments and he said no I won a few junior PGA events like 10 years ago and that's how I know I'm good ....

[CrushSticks]

Played with a friend of a friend about 3 times now. Fun guy, but thinks he's about 10 shots better than he is. One time myself and another player similar to me played him and his buddy in a fourball match. We lost on 18 1 Down. Gave them 9-10 strokes. He suggests we do it again but without them getting strokes. I just said. " I would love to."

[lowheel]

Playeing at my home course

 

Kid comes up on the tee after complaining the course wouldn't let him pay the junior rate even though he's 23

(I'm 20 at the time and a member )

 

Around the fourth hole me and a friend ask what he does

 

He said just saving up money for q school

I didn't play well that day probally shot 76 or so (d2 golfer ) and beat this kid by 25 shots

 

Can not believe he was thinking about spending the 5 grand on q school

 

This happens quite often. I played several rounds at championsgate 3 years ago in the fall in orlando then a few at orange county national. I played with several "pros" saying exactly that and barely breaking 80. I shot 74 with 3 doubles in my first round off the plane shot par on my second 18 of the day and the guy i was playing with said hes practicing for q school shot 78-79 riding a cart no less. He asked me why I wasnt trying to go to q school, I said i just do mini tours and work at a local course and that ship sailed for me. A great instructor in the orlando area is Brad Brewer, he has stories like this galore. Hes been featured on the golf channel. Ive witnessed him giving lessons to guys saying these things and his face goes pale because he knows its not even remotely possible that they even sniff getting there. He literally says burn your money its better spent. Its hard to hear sometimes though. Some of these guys cant pass their PAT but they have this unshakable idea in their head that theyre better than they are. Im all for chasing the dream but reality has to kick in at some point

The kicker is he didn't realize who he was saying this too .(I've played well in a few events & know how good you have to be to make it type of thing ) There wasn't even a player that hadn't played in a long time anywhere in his game . I asked if he plays in any tournaments and he said no I won a few junior PGA events like 10 years ago and that's how I know I'm good ....

 

Ive definitely heard that one before. 1 guy told me i won an ajga event and finished second in another 4 years ago so i know i have the game needed to compete on tour. Oh yeah? What have you been doing since? Do you play any events. Nah just getting back into it. I just need 2-3 months of steady practice. I just shot 64 here 2 weeks ago.He then proceeds to 3 jack the last to shoot 80. I beat him by 9 shots and he walks away when i approach to shake his hand and wish him luck. He mumbles that i play too fast and i rushed him which made him nervous thus the bad score and shots. We played as twoseome in 3:45 in separate carts. what a dick. Assistant pro back in the pro shop asks me what do you think of the kid? He was in here before talking big game and how he blitzed this place for a 64 a few weeks back. What did he shoot? The guy almost with perfect timing walks in as heasking the question. He answers "well i didnt keep score, but i missed alot of putts, couldnt get the feel of the greens today" i snickered and said "80 just say 80 and own it its not the end of the world" he turned red and was fuming at me. Then the real excuses came out. He proceeds to say, well this effing guy would always drive his cart right before i hit and stood in front of me when i was putting and rushed me on every hole. I laughed the hole time and dug the needle deep one last time saying to him "well youll always have those ajga events to fall back on and that magical 64 you shot here all alone with no witnesses" he took off cursing at me telling me i was a word not allowed. The assistant pro who knows me for years was dying of laughter because he knows the guy was of full of it thats why he paired me with him because he knew id report back to him what he long suspected.

[Forty]

Ok. Long story here so try to stick with me. The story of Century Man is a legendary tale of delusion...

 

In 2005, I made it through 1st Stage of Q-School. I s*** the bed in 2nd Stage and headed back to the mini-tours for a year. Fast forward one year to 2006. The PGA Tour has now implemented a "Pre-Qualifying" stage. Fortunately, due to the fact that I had made it through 1st Stage the year prior, I was exempt from pre-qualifying. But, I have a buddy that isn't exempt and he asks me to meet him at PGA West Norman to walk a practice round with him since I know the course well being a resident nearby. I agree to do it. My buddy is a legit pro with a legitimate chance to make it through Q-School (this is back in the day when you could go straight to the PGA Tour through Q-School).

 

The September day arrives. It's 100*F and blistering hot. I meet my friend on the 1st tee with his caddie. As my friend is waiting to tee off Century Man comes walking up with a push cart that he is pushing (no caddie), his wife was in tow with a stroller and a baby in it. He is dressed in black pants, a long sleeve, sweat soaked button-up shirt, sneakers, and what was basically a sombrero (super huge, hard, round brim, hat made of straw). His face is caked with sunscreen. He says, "mind if I join you?", to my friend. My buddy looks at me and his caddie and says yes, but I can tell he's not feeling it. Century Man introduces himself to us and then proceeds to go over to the ball washer and wash the ball he was going to play with. My buddy, his caddie, and I are thinking "WTF is going on here?" I decide to try to distract this guy so my friend can get to business of learning the course so I ask him, "You're here for Q-School right?", thinking maybe this guy is trying to sneak on and is just a normal everyday golfer. He says, "yeah. Just flew in from Philadelphia last night. First time playing in Q-School." I nod in approval thinking, well maybe I'm over reading this and this dude is some savant.

 

1st Tee - My friend stripes one. Century Man gets up and bunt-cuts driver 220 into the fairway. We're off!

 

1st Fairway - My friend stacks one in there 10 feet. Century Man heel-thins hybrid onto the right fringe.

 

1st Green - My friend walks up quickly hits his putt (out-of-order) and makes it. Grabs his ball and another ball and proceeds to do what most pros will do in a practice round and starts practicing putting to different quadrants of the green. Century Man grinds over his 50 footer from the fringe and rolls it 10 feet past the hole. He then grinds over the second putt from all angles and manages to get a nice catch from the left lip and makes par. I think, well ok maybe this guy is a dreamer and doesn't grasp the normal procedures of a professional practice round and that he doesn't need to keep score. But, he made par so maybe I'm still over reading this.

 

2nd Tee - My friend bombs driver up the fairway. Century Man snap hooks a ball so bad it almost doesn't get airborne and goes immediately out of bounds left 30 yards off the tee. He hits another ball and hooks it into the desert. He announces that he will be playing a provisional and hits that out-of-bounds. Tees up another one and hits it right in the desert. Goes to his bag and I stop him and nicely say, "Hey, just drop one up where you'd normally hit it. You won't hit any of those shots in the tournament." He had a visible sign of relief and pushes his cart 220 yards up the fairway. On the way up the fairway after his lay-up shot I ask him, "this is your first time at Q-School huh?" He says yes. I ask him where he plays in Philly. He says some random municipal golf course name. I ask if he's ever played Merion since he's from Philly. He says "Never heard of it." I say, "Never heard of Merion?" He says no. He then says, "This is the fourth golf course I HAVE EVER PLAYED. In fact, this is the finest course I have ever seen". In disbelief, I ask "What made you enter Q-School?" He said, "My buddies told me I'm pretty good and I should go on tour." I nod and walk away.

 

He proceeds to play the front nine in what would probably have been about a score of 55.

 

At the turn, my friend tells Century Man, "I'm just playing nine this morning. Going to play the back nine after lunch. Good luck this week." My friend was absolutely lying. He just couldn't take it anymore and was trying to politely get out of playing with this guy on the back. Century man says thank you for the game and walks off to the 10th Tee. I wish him luck as he walks away. Over lunch my friend and I discussed in disbelief what we just experienced. Did this guy actually think he had a chance? Were his friends playing a practical joke on him?

 

Fast forward a few weeks to 1st Stage at Rancho California Golf Club. I'm on the range and I see a different friend that had made it through the pre-qualifier at PGA West Norman. We shoot the s*** for a bit about how he played and I proceed to tell him about my experience with this random guy in a practice round there. He says, "Oh, you're talking about 'Century Man'. Yeah, he shot 430 for four rounds. Never broke 100. In fact, on the range during the 3rd and 4th rounds everyone was giving him a three stall gap because he was shanking it 80* and topping balls. Guys didn't want to catch anything from him."

 

Century Man shot something like 103-107-109-111. Hence the nickname "Century Man". Guess he figured he'd get his money's worth after the 103 and post scores for all four rounds. There is a not-so-thin line between "Dreamer" and "Delusional". This guy was the latter. Poor guy. F'ing Century Man. So harsh.

[Wriggles]

Thirty five years ago, a guy I casually knew got into a golf conversation with me. He asks about my handicap, and I reply that I'd probably be around a 12. He replied in a haughty manner that he was a scratch player. He suggests we make a golf date for the following Saturday at a local goat track.

 

All week, I worried that I was no where near that guy's level of expertise, and would make a poor showing. We show up as scheduled, and this guy's strutting around like a peacock. We flip a coin for honors, and I hit my first drive less than 200 yards. (I never was a big hitter.) He proceeds to hit his OB. We finish the first hole with this guy making all types of excuses, blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, on every hole, he plays increasingly worse.

 

After nine, we decided to quit, with me at 46, and he at who knows what.

 

I don't think I've seen the guy since then, let alone play golf with him.

 

Another guy, I knew from work, suggests we play one Sunday afternoon. He shows up with the most mismatched, beat up set of cheap clubs you ever saw. He regales me with the tale that the clubs were custom tailored and were extremely valuable.

 

He wasn't a good golfer, just a master of tall tales. One day at work, he shows me a rag he got from the janitor's closet, and tells me it's a swatch of a material he commissioned his tailor to make a suit from.

 

Boy, there sure are a lot of jerks in the world.

[myspinonit]

On Friday's, we have a blind draw 3 or 4 man scramble at our club (depending on how many people show up.) On this occasion, it was a four man scramble. I was our A player and this older gentleman was our D. As a team we played pretty well, except for our D who did not contribute one single shot all day. Not even a putt. It was also a 1 drive minimum situation and we were forced to use his drive on our very last hole. He hit a hook into the trees that, maybe, went 165 yards. Maybe. I pulled a three wood for our second shot, placed my lead foot on the trunk of a tree, and hit a miracle hook out of the trees and onto the green. That shot is in my top 3. I was happy because I had a feeling par would get us into the money. We ended getting par and finished second.

 

While sitting around with the other teams, I overheard our D tell a buddy of his that "we would have won if only our A player was a little bit better." Hahaha. I couldn't believe my ears. This a-hole was the worst golfer there and was going home with more money than he arrived with, but he was bitching about me. Amazing. I walked up to him and whispered into his ear that we would have won by three strokes had he stayed home. That was, probably, six or seven years ago and the guy still hates me. I don't mind.

 

Can't stop laughing at you whispering in his ear...you owned him! I keep picturing you using the Mac voice from Predator. End of a long week over here with our 3rd child coming sometime next week and needed a good laugh. Great story!

 

He OWNED him ? :dntknw:

 

No matter. Hard to believe that in a scramble the "Captain" leaves the D player for the last hole. And only needing 1 tee ball out of the guy. Hard to believe the guy couldn't even get a single tee shot in play,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Makes me wonder who the goofy one was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :beruo:

 

 

Anywho, my contribution is relatively tame. About 25 years ago we had a guy at our club who was a "4". Thing is we played a pretty short course and while the greens were on the smaller side, and slow to boot, it was only sloped at ~116,,,,,,,, so not that difficult.

 

Anyway, he had a terrific short game; chipped well, and his lag putting (especially) was amazing actually. Very good putter inside 10 feet. Hit maybe 8 GIRs.

 

He was a portly gentleman and while he was pretty straight off the tee probably didn't hit his average drive much over 210.

 

He'd found a soulmate who lived down in Florida and had some $$$ and told us he was going to take a few years, work really hard on his game and try for the Senior Tour. :russian_roulette:

 

Needless to say,,,,,,,,,,,, never heard from (or about) him again. :dntknw:

 

Oh believe me, we had no choice. There are two holes where you usually use the D player's drive because they are short. He went OB on one and topped his tee shot on the other. I would have loved to use a tee shot prior to the last hole, just wasn't possible that day.

 

I've got the exact opposite of your story:

 

Had a scramble at the club I grew up working at, but I had been gone for a few years, and came back to visit my parents one summer.

 

The scramble needed one more player, and even though I had turned pro a few years earlier, I was asked to be the "A" player, if I didn't mind having 3 "D" players for my team.

 

Sure....if it meant that one more team could play, I had no problem with it, and these were some old farts that I knew from working at the course as a kid. Pretty ornery when I knew them, but we had never played together, so...it was a learning experience for all of us. To top it off, these 3 were brothers. One was a jeweler, one was a line worker at a factory, and one was kind of a handyman. All about 25-36 handicaps. Trust me.....they were true handicaps!

 

Anyhoo....I had heard that if it weren't for the fact that they could really putt, they would all be 36+ handicaps,

 

So...in the scramble format, of course, at least they could get the ball in play, and I wasn't really worried about anything special...it was for fun.

 

And, actually, from where I was able to put the tee ball (BTW, I played the back tees, in fairness to the rest of the field) they could usually get somewhere near or on the green. I didn't hit anything really close, and sometimes we were over 30' - most times, if truth be told.

 

Our greens complexes were really good, nice, fast bent grass, pretty well undulated, and not every approach was hit to the "correct" position, so we had some very challenging putts to face.

 

THESE GUYS must have rolled in over 200' of putts!!! As the 4th to play, I never had to make any putt for the round.

 

They were rolling birdies in from absolutely everywhere....I mean, putts that would have been pretty well done to get down in 2! One putting wasn't even a thought crossing my mind on most of them.

 

Well....we won....by about 5 shots in an 18 hole scramble, and no one believed me that I really didn't contribute much to the team, other than having a tee ball.

 

But, after playing with these guys, I found out that they each had funny personalities, and they had a wonderful time, because they were putting for birdies on almost every hole, even though most of the birdie putts weren't short range.

 

Sure...I've had the opposite experience, as stated above, but after reading these stories, I fondly remembered this particular round, and hope that those 3 brothers got the same amount of enjoyment out of it that I did!

 

thank for reading....and, for allowing me to walk down memory lane once more & get a smile on my face!

isn't this also a scenario showing why guys esp higher caps would have a better time playing it forward in their regular rounds.

[Lijka]

I usually do not have to play with other golfers or for that matter get to play with others due to my job and the small rural country club I golf at but a few weekends ago one of the first rounds of the year I got to play with quite the gentlemen.

 

A little reference, our back nine is very tight and our course in general is not too long (about 6200?) so the best play for me is almost always to hit my 23* UDI off the tee. I played this way for the first 6 holes and was hitting fairways well and apparently really impressing these two guys. This one guy claimed he could only hit forged blades due to his swing type (whatever that may have been) and that although they weren't great that him and his buddy had world class short games. World class? I don't mean to sound like the PGA pro as i am far from it but duffing half a dozen chips and pitches is hardly world class in my books. These guys finally made me laugh out loud as we got to the 16th par 5.

 

I finally took out my driver for the first hole and they were more than a little excited and they told me why. These guys seemed to think I was the next Tiger Woods. The younger of the two, Mr Forged Blades Only, seriously asked me, "You must be able to hit youre driver, what, 400 yards?". I said not quite haha. They seemed to think my 4 iron went about 300 yards...

 

I would guess my 4 iron went about 210 off the tee and a good drive for me is 270-280. With this guy thinking I hit the ball 400 i wonder what he thinks and tells people he hits it? 350? Maybe this is where most WRX'ers get their numbers from...

[myspinonit]

Ooh ooh i have a few, same guy. I dont have many friends who golf so I'm basically stuck with him.

 

1. He has told me to my face he beat me one time when we didnt keep score (like no scorecard in the cart at all) because he thinks he hit more fairways.

 

2. I was with him and another friend when we decided to bet a beer after the first 9 holes, straight up stroke play. He said "great, im in but you HAVE to hole every putt, no gimmies." Fine. So we start playing and we get to this nasty par 3 peninsula hole. All 3 of us hit the first shot in the water. This certain friend drops a second, hits it in the water. Then he smartens up and walks to the drop area with us, skulls it and hits it over the green, into the water. He states hes picking up. Come to the end of 9, he gave himself a 5 because he, and i quote "never cards anything over double and would be an idiot to do so." I kindly told him that his 1 stroke victory is null and void because he was still on the 4th hole since he never putted the ball in as he suggested. He didnt talk to me the rest of the day.

 

3. He once said he beleives he could drive as well as tour average as far as distance and accuracy. Granted he can hit it a long way Ive never seen him hit more than 2 fairways.

 

4. Claims to have broken 80 a few times when playing alone. I told him to at least go for broke and tell us it was in the 60s or something. He always gets mad.

 

5. Hit a greenside bunker in 2 on a par 5. Chunked the ball 4 times before it got out. Putted out to finish then walked back to right in front of the bunker, drops his ball in the grass, chips up and 1 putts. Then cards his birdie because "thats where the ball should have landed."

 

6. My favorite is when we get to hole 16 and hes beating me on his scorecard and starts telling me how much better he is than me. I keep reminding him that maybe he needs to go ahead and let me know we were playing a competitive round first so I actually gave it a good try instead of trying to rip driver on every hole for fun.

 

.... I think you get the gist. I have more from him. I may start taking videos of this stuff and posting it places since its priceless.

Wow, I'd be looking to go out more as a single an maybe find guys more honest and respectful for that round, or maybe as new friends for future rounds.

[YoYoJumbo]

Ooh ooh i have a few, same guy. I dont have many friends who golf so I'm basically stuck with him.

 

1. He has told me to my face he beat me one time when we didnt keep score (like no scorecard in the cart at all) because he thinks he hit more fairways.

 

2. I was with him and another friend when we decided to bet a beer after the first 9 holes, straight up stroke play. He said "great, im in but you HAVE to hole every putt, no gimmies." Fine. So we start playing and we get to this nasty par 3 peninsula hole. All 3 of us hit the first shot in the water. This certain friend drops a second, hits it in the water. Then he smartens up and walks to the drop area with us, skulls it and hits it over the green, into the water. He states hes picking up. Come to the end of 9, he gave himself a 5 because he, and i quote "never cards anything over double and would be an idiot to do so." I kindly told him that his 1 stroke victory is null and void because he was still on the 4th hole since he never putted the ball in as he suggested. He didnt talk to me the rest of the day.

 

3. He once said he beleives he could drive as well as tour average as far as distance and accuracy. Granted he can hit it a long way Ive never seen him hit more than 2 fairways.

 

4. Claims to have broken 80 a few times when playing alone. I told him to at least go for broke and tell us it was in the 60s or something. He always gets mad.

 

5. Hit a greenside bunker in 2 on a par 5. Chunked the ball 4 times before it got out. Putted out to finish then walked back to right in front of the bunker, drops his ball in the grass, chips up and 1 putts. Then cards his birdie because "thats where the ball should have landed."

 

6. My favorite is when we get to hole 16 and hes beating me on his scorecard and starts telling me how much better he is than me. I keep reminding him that maybe he needs to go ahead and let me know we were playing a competitive round first so I actually gave it a good try instead of trying to rip driver on every hole for fun.

 

.... I think you get the gist. I have more from him. I may start taking videos of this stuff and posting it places since its priceless.

Wow, I'd be looking to go out more as a single an maybe find guys more honest and respectful for that round, or maybe as new friends for future rounds.

 

Oh trust me, I have. I only play with that guy every few months now.

[8602081]

so much fun reading...

 

Keep going!!!!

[Scooterboy59]

Had a guy on my high school golf team that would tell girls that UCLA, Texas, Wake etc..... were recruiting him to play golf. Not a bad player, played # 5 and could break 80. These girls did not know any better and word got out. Did not stop him from his tales.

[augustgolf]

Had a guy on my high school golf team that would tell girls that UCLA, Texas, Wake etc..... were recruiting him to play golf. Not a bad player, played # 5 and could break 80. These girls did not know any better and word got out. Did not stop him from his tales.

 

at least he could break 80

 

and, when I was in high school, telling someone that you were on the golf team wasn't really the best way to get girls interested in you

 

 

[Juice1121]

Delusional is a strong word, but one of my good buddies that I play with a lot is an "I think I figured it out" guy. As in every time we play he goes, "I was at the range yesterday, and I think I figured something out." But he proceeds to be the same 18 cap he has been for the past 5 years. Not delusional, just funny and overly optimistic. I always tell him to just go get a lesson and have someone help you figure it out. It will go over much better.

[BillyZ2]

This was some time ago, but when Greg Norman was popular I got paired up with the guy that dressed just like him and tried to act just like him. He sorta looked a bit like him to begin with and I think that's what motivated him to go overboard with it. The Hat shirt pants haircut you name it this guy thought he was Greg Norman. The guy was a complete hack and golfers eventually started to avoid him because of his attitude. Personally I don't care for people who act and dress like somebody famous in order to boost their ego, I find it more attractive when people are themselves and down to earth.

[drbonesvt]

Got paired up with this random guy once and he was delusional not just in golf but it seems he was clinically delusional in life as well. Before we even tee off he gets in a loud verbal altercation with the guys in line behind us. Apparently they are cousins or something. Anyway, it's July and about 90 degrees and he's wearing dark brown slack type pants rolled up to his calf, a t-shirt tucked in, NY Knicks edition Jordans, and a flat brimmed Miami Heat hat. I am thankful they let us ride in separate carts as a two-some (it's not a very well run establishment). It's time for us to tee off and I approach the whites and he says i'm playing from the back. I think of course you are. So with a jerky baseball type swing he chunks his first one then slices his second brand new prov1's 40 yards to side of the fairway, barely holding his footing. I then hit mine into the fairway and he says I'll play from where you are. So we drive separate carts the rest of the way, but he manages to tell me the following whenever I couldn't stay far enough away from him.

 

- He opens with "I got crown royal apple and ciroc if you wanna put some in your beer." (I had a cooler of beer he saw, and I politely declined his offer)

- He said he has a $50k watch on but doesn't want to lose it so he'll wear it while we play.

- He owns his own jet.

- At this point he started taking beers out of my cooler without asking me.

- He appeared to be on his cell phone while I was waiting for him to hit. He got off the phone hit his shot then tells me "That was Drake's manager (the rap guy) I'm trying to get him to come to the Colonial Center but he wants $150k."

- He said he played for the University of South Carolina Golf team in 2000.

- He said his grandfather was the first African American to attend college. Not in his family, but of all African Americans.

- He showed me videos on his phone of what appeared to be hookers on an airplane, and he said that's me and my buddies.

- The cart girl then came by on #7 and asks if we need anything (she only carries drinks) and he says "yeah get me a couple hot dogs." She politely tells him she only has drinks and he insists it's no trouble for her to ride up to the clubhouse to get them ready for him and he'll pay inside. She says ok, just to get out of there and we never saw her again. When she drives away he looks at me and says, "Yeah she saw the watch, she knows what's up."

- At the turn I said I'm going to go inside and get a snack and some beer. He follows me and when I am going to pay he throws a couple hot dogs and some drinks on the counter and says "Grab these for me, I've got cash in my cart." I say ok fully knowing I'll never see that cash.

- When we finish the round he says he has a lifetime membership card to Platinum Plus (a gentleman's club near there) and invited me to party with him. I declined and he said well here's my number let me see your phone I'll call it. I have no choice but to let him call my phone. I immediately block it when I get back to my car.

 

I ended up shooting a personal best 74, while this ex collegiate golfer put up no less than a 110. So maybe I play best with these types. I don't know, but not sure if I want to find out again.

 

Nice focus

[Aaronwilson_95]

Playeing at my home course

 

Kid comes up on the tee after complaining the course wouldn't let him pay the junior rate even though he's 23

(I'm 20 at the time and a member )

 

Around the fourth hole me and a friend ask what he does

 

He said just saving up money for q school

I didn't play well that day probally shot 76 or so (d2 golfer ) and beat this kid by 25 shots

 

Can not believe he was thinking about spending the 5 grand on q school

 

This happens quite often. I played several rounds at championsgate 3 years ago in the fall in orlando then a few at orange county national. I played with several "pros" saying exactly that and barely breaking 80. I shot 74 with 3 doubles in my first round off the plane shot par on my second 18 of the day and the guy i was playing with said hes practicing for q school shot 78-79 riding a cart no less. He asked me why I wasnt trying to go to q school, I said i just do mini tours and work at a local course and that ship sailed for me. A great instructor in the orlando area is Brad Brewer, he has stories like this galore. Hes been featured on the golf channel. Ive witnessed him giving lessons to guys saying these things and his face goes pale because he knows its not even remotely possible that they even sniff getting there. He literally says burn your money its better spent. Its hard to hear sometimes though. Some of these guys cant pass their PAT but they have this unshakable idea in their head that theyre better than they are. Im all for chasing the dream but reality has to kick in at some point

The kicker is he didn't realize who he was saying this too .(I've played well in a few events & know how good you have to be to make it type of thing ) There wasn't even a player that hadn't played in a long time anywhere in his game . I asked if he plays in any tournaments and he said no I won a few junior PGA events like 10 years ago and that's how I know I'm good ....

 

Ive definitely heard that one before. 1 guy told me i won an ajga event and finished second in another 4 years ago so i know i have the game needed to compete on tour. Oh yeah? What have you been doing since? Do you play any events. Nah just getting back into it. I just need 2-3 months of steady practice. I just shot 64 here 2 weeks ago.He then proceeds to 3 jack the last to shoot 80. I beat him by 9 shots and he walks away when i approach to shake his hand and wish him luck. He mumbles that i play too fast and i rushed him which made him nervous thus the bad score and shots. We played as twoseome in 3:45 in separate carts. what a dick. Assistant pro back in the pro shop asks me what do you think of the kid? He was in here before talking big game and how he blitzed this place for a 64 a few weeks back. What did he shoot? The guy almost with perfect timing walks in as heasking the question. He answers "well i didnt keep score, but i missed alot of putts, couldnt get the feel of the greens today" i snickered and said "80 just say 80 and own it its not the end of the world" he turned red and was fuming at me. Then the real excuses came out. He proceeds to say, well this effing guy would always drive his cart right before i hit and stood in front of me when i was putting and rushed me on every hole. I laughed the hole time and dug the needle deep one last time saying to him "well youll always have those ajga events to fall back on and that magical 64 you shot here all alone with no witnesses" he took off cursing at me telling me i was a word not allowed. The assistant pro who knows me for years was dying of laughter because he knows the guy was of full of it thats why he paired me with him because he knew id report back to him what he long suspected.

 

This reminds me of a story I have from last week . Day 2 of a mini tour event . Paired up with a guy who shot 71&70

Actually need to go back to day 1 to start the story

 

Me and my partner (good player has won twice on the web tour ) that day were playing well and behind this guy who was taking 15 looks at EVERYTHING . We started counting from the fairway and what not . It was bad . Fast forward to the putting green this jack wagon FLOORS his cart and screams mother f***er as he pulling his cart away from a tee box and I'm on an adjacent green trying to putt

 

We see him absolutely tiger pumping on 15-16-17-18

Turns out this guy birdied his last 4 holes too shoot 71 that day

 

We get in the clubhouse and I realize my double on 17 costed me and was gonna get me paired with him tommorow

 

He proceeds to mutter every phrase you'd ever think he'd say from this thread all day

 

I asked where he's from (he tells me he just moved down here 6weeks ago )

 

Oh so what brought you down here. Came down here so I could be a professional on this golf tour

 

Next question- so where'd you play in college ?

Oh I didn't play in college this is only my fourth golf tournament ever .

Proceeds to tell us how he use to be a 10 handicap before getting down to scratch because of his new driver ...

he asked me and my cartner what it would take to make money today (he's 4 over through like 30)

We don't know probally -3 to finish in the money

He proceeds to scream

FRICK YOURE RUNNING OUT OF HOLES to himself and ends up shooting 78 I think .

The tour isn't exactly a tour I'd uproot my life to be a professional on people just play it because it's the local option to play on type of thing with some really good players playing it .

So bizzare and delusional

 

[SmiterOfPv1x]

Got another one, but he was just more of a completely horrible golfer/human being. Anyways his kid was on the same football team as mine so he hitched a ride with me to a far away, away game. The subject of golf came up and he said that he golfed, but not much in the past few years and we decided to play a round.

 

My first warning should have been his "oh I forgot my wallet, I'll have to get you back" when we met in the parking lot of the course. I told him I had already booked and paid for our round on GN a day or two before our round, and that he could just pay me back when we got to the course. What adult male forgets his wallet?

 

Get to the first tee and start warming up and I can tell that not only hasn't he played much in the past few years but I doubt he's played much ever. He's got an old brown leather golf bag, wood woods, and circa 1980 cheap irons with the original grips on them. Oh well no biggie, were just out to have fun anyways. He steps up and it takes him three or four swings to get off the tee and suddenly I'm wishing that I'd have just bought us a bucket of balls at the range instead of committing to 18 holes. I suggest that he just play his ball from wherever my shots end up, to which he thankfully agrees. But that doesn't stop him from wanting to hit each shot 2-4 times in an effort to hit a decent one. At that point I was getting a little frustrated and told him that he needed to keep up with pace of play, but we must have been the last group to tee off that day as not once was there another group pushing us in what ended up being a pretty miserable 5 hour round.

 

Once we get out of sight of the clubhouse, the guy that amazingly forgot his wallet proceeds to let me know that he did remember something, a cheap bottle of whiskey. Oh yay. Now I'm not opposed to abiding a little from time to time and even on the golf course, but I'd prefer something a little less rock gut than Old Dan Tucker and I'd prefer to do it legally since in Ohio you can't bring your own booze on to a course that sells alcohol. Not that it deters a ton of folk but I'm basically a law abiding guy.

 

The longer the round went the progressively worse his swing got. By the time we made the turn, he was sloshed. Since we were spending way more time out there than I'd planned I called in and ordered a sandwich on hole 8 to take with me on the second nine (and of course he hears me ordering it and wants one too with the "I'll get ya back"). So we hit the clubhouse and grab the sammies, and at this point I decide that I want a drink or two in order to get through the second nine without throttling him. Of course by then his bottle had run dry so he wanted a drink too "yeah man, get me one too-I'll getcha back!" Since I'm having a double I tell the girl to make his as weak as possible when he turns towards the loo to take care of business.

 

The back nine started with him losing the ability to even contact the ball. Seven or 8 swipes at it and it's still sitting proudly on the tee. He decides to eat his sandwich and sit out ten. I play it out and by the time I get back to the cart he's literally snoring. Passed out drunk. I play the back nine by myself for the majority of the holes taking care going around corners so that he doesn't fall out and doing my best to hold him in the cart. He comes to as we're going down the hill from 15 to 16 and argues with me on how long he's been out. I tell him it's been a full hour or so, and he claims it was only a minute or two. Whatever. But now he wants to play the last three holes (after demanding that I go back to ten and start over on the back of which I politely declined). It's more of the same. Swing Miss. swing Miss. swing, burns worms for 40 yards, and wants to rehit.

 

We finally finish and he wants to know when we're playing again, stating "man you're pretty good". I tell him after he 1. Pays me back for the greens fees, sandwich and drink ("I'll get you at the game next week man") 2. Takes a few lessons and most importantly 3. Agrees to not drink. I end up driving him home as the course was a good 20 miles from either of our houses and there's no way I'm letting him drive. This caused another big argument "how am I going to explain this to my wife, cmon man!" I tell him I don't care but how am I going to explain it to the people he'll likely kill trying to get home. I ended up threatening to call the highway patrol if he starts driving and that's the only way I can get him into my car and not his.

 

Run into him at the kids football game the next week and he tells me "man I had a great time. My wife was MAD, but let's do it again man" With no mention whatsoever of the $60.00 or so that "he'd get me back". I bring it up and he says "man I get paid Friday, I'll drop it off at your house" I was home all Friday night and no one dropped any money off. The kids football season had ended and I (thankfully) haven't seen him again since. But I'm sure I will this fall. It's not so much the money, I've paid for friends to golf before, it's the expectation that I'd bankroll the entire experience for him that irks me. That and his assuming that this was an appropriate time and place for a drunkfest. Yeah we've had beers before at certain events, we'd even gone to a baseball game together a few years back and had a few, but nothing to the point where either of us had more than i minor alcohol buzz. That and I wasn't expected to bankroll his entire day.

[Nard_S]

I do not know if the guy is delusional or just ironic but the fella shows up at the local muni every few weeks all in Ricky Fowler bright orange, w/ the tight plaid pants to boot.

 

The thing is the guy is a spitting image of the "Git er Done" comedian.

[lowheel]

Delusional is a strong word, but one of my good buddies that I play with a lot is an "I think I figured it out" guy. As in every time we play he goes, "I was at the range yesterday, and I think I figured something out." But he proceeds to be the same 18 cap he has been for the past 5 years. Not delusional, just funny and overly optimistic. I always tell him to just go get a lesson and have someone help you figure it out. It will go over much better.

 

Whats the fun in that right?

[myspinonit]

Had a guy on my high school golf team that would tell girls that UCLA, Texas, Wake etc..... were recruiting him to play golf. Not a bad player, played # 5 and could break 80. These girls did not know any better and word got out. Did not stop him from his tales.

 

at least he could break 80

 

and, when I was in high school, telling someone that you were on the golf team wasn't really the best way to get girls interested in you

Yeah, the guys on the chess team knew the moves. :taunt:

[SmiterOfPv1x]

Just wasted 15 minutes of my life posting apost on the hot topics forum. Does every thread that goes there get locked or what? It didn't act like it was locked? Or am I just banned or something? I guess my answer will be when I either see this or don't??