Dealing with a nervous wreck of a team member

[elwhippy]

How do you help the man who tries so hard as to tie himself in knots and freezes before a shot? The resulting shot is either a 100 yard skull, chunk or fresh air shot. Plays to mid teens but tries to play to low hcp level in his head.....missed green with 4 iron from 180 yards and not happy. Two yards off a par five in two and walks off with an 8. Hard to watch and the rest of us felt guilty. 

[Paintman]

Somebody once told me that I'm not good enough to get upset.

[J13]

unless he can get the expectations out of his head he's doomed.  I play to a scratch to a + hcp and literally topped a shot the other day in a match.  I was trying something i've been working on and it just didn't work out.  With that said I've seen countless PGA Tour players who are +8's top and chunk shots.  So i remind myself that if they do it from time to time what makes me think i'm better.  It's all about perspective and the gentleman in question needs a reality check.

[GHIN n Juice]

2 beers before the first tee.  Can’t hurt, lol.

[Chadwickog]

23 minutes ago, Paintman said:

Somebody once told me that I'm not good enough to get upset.

This is the answer

[Loki]

LOL, he needs to get over himself and have some fun. Whether it is a shot of tekillya at 7am to calm the nerves or an attitude change, he needs to do something or you need to find a new partner. Doesn't sound fun to play with.

[caniac6]

5 hours ago, GHIN n Juice said:

2 beers before the first tee.  Can’t hurt, lol.

For the nervous guy, or everybody else?

[soregongolfer]

I had a teammate like that.  He's probably a 13 or so, but the pro told him years ago, "There's no reason you can't be a five."  HUGE mistake.  He's been working towards that goal for years but absolutely does not have the temperment for it.  I quit playing with him because he's miserable to play with.  Bad attitude.  Clubs going airborne.  I retrieved his Scotty Cameron from a tree once.?  Now that I think about it, I retrieved his wedge from that same tree.

[LeoLeo99]

I striped the ball yesterday and my team shot 67. I was off today, missed 5 greens badly and had 3 bad tee shots and we shot 65.  Eight bad shots over two days and I'm a little upset. No reason to be.  I hit a lot of great shots over 36 holes.  Was talking to a friend of a friend of a friend today and he said, Golf is so relaxing.  A place to unwind and relieve stress.  If we hit a bad shot today, we will hit a good shot tomorrow.  

 

I wish I could internalize that mindset.  My expectations are too high and unrealistic.  

 

I feel better already.  

[GHIN n Juice]

22 minutes ago, caniac6 said:

For the nervous guy, or everybody else?

Start with the nervous guy.  If it doesn’t work for him then it’s time for everyone else to take the edge off.

[me05501]

Playing with a guy like that is a miserable day for anyone. Not sure why you'd want to do it except to maintain a long-term friendship. 

 

 

[eagles1]

18 hours ago, GHIN n Juice said:

Start with the nervous guy.  If it doesn’t work for him then it’s time for everyone else to take the edge off.

Everyone in the group should give their two beers to the nervous guy.

 

Problem solved.

[scooterhd2]

Have him take a look at stats by handicap. Some people are shocked by the number of fairways and greens they should be hitting for their handicap and/or their goal handicap. 

 

A high digit single handicap is hitting 7/14 fairways and 7/18 greens. Get off this notion of getting pissed for missing greens. Only really good players hit more than half the greens. You are going to push a drive right. You are going to put an 8 iron into the front bunker. You are going to hit a wedge fat and only carry half the distance you wanted. So get over it.

 

Instead, embrace the challenge. That is golf. That is what the best players are so good at. Recovering from a miss. Flighting a shot under some trees and rolling it up on the front edge. Dropping one in on a chip from across the green. Knocking your drop shot to within 3 feet to prevent the blowup hole. Making that 11 footer for par. Those are the most memorable and rewarding shots. Nobody remembers a stock straight drive down the middle. But that time you went left in the trees, had to hit a left handed punch out onto the fairway, and then stuffed your approach to tap in range to save par, that makes a real memory. So every bad shot, is just creating a chance for making an incredible memory.

[Sean2]

If a professional says this, where does that leave the amateur golfer? 

 

Jordan Spieth said the following: “There’s a lot that’s off. I’m not really sure. If I knew, I’d fix it. So I’m kind of just working through it and looking forward to having a little more time to figure it out. I’m late behind it. The second I try to get out in front, it’s hooking. Standing on a tee at the US Open and not exactly knowing where the ball is going to go is not a great feeling."

 

Golf is one of those activities where our expectations can exceed our abilities, and that just leads to disappointment.

[Krt22]

On 9/21/2020 at 11:01 AM, Paintman said:

Somebody once told me that I'm not good enough to get upset.

That is the jist of it. 

[Obee]

What are his aspirations? Does he want to make serious improvement in his playing? Does he have any goals?

[Obee]

On 9/21/2020 at 11:01 AM, Paintman said:

Somebody once told me that I'm not good enough to get upset.

 

While I understand the sentiment behind this kind of a reply, I've never really liked it much myself. Some personality types just seem to need to get angry and upset almost as part of the process of mastering something that is difficult. 

 

Others are more even-tempered people, which is fine, of course.

 

It takes all kinds....