Not even kidding.....anyone struggle with golf as an addiction?

[MelloYello]

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I get it. We're all golf addicts... 

 

...but seriously. Many of us take it home with us so-to-speak. We live with it 24/7. We let it take over our sense of who we are. We're angry at ourselves for investing so much time regardless of whether we play well. When we succeed there's very little besides meaningless pride and when we don't, it means we're horrible people. It's like anything else: food, alcohol, tv, YouTube, forums like this, etc. Addiction is real and you recognize it when you stop to think, 'Wow, everything I do, think, purchase, etc. is somehow tied to golf.' 

 

My only answer has been to quit for awhile, take time away and return later when it's less of an issue. Is there an answer? Maybe not? 1st world problem, I guess. That's even more embarrassing, LOL. 

 

I just hate the idea that I have to schedule huge gaps in my year because at my core, I'm not in control and will completely lose faith. It seems like I can predict that at some point I'll just feel empty and downright ashamed of even swinging a club. It's hit me really hard lately. It's crazy but I can only describe the numbness as though I feel like golf is ethically wrong or something.

 

A couple weeks ago during a 2-day tournament I showed up on that 2nd day and just felt like such a loser for even being there. Like, I hated myself for the idea of being a golfer in that moment. I could barely swing at all. It just felt wrong. I had no motivation and actually felt like I'd rather be anywhere else. The idea of golf just seemed so stupid and pointless in that moment. And honestly, it wasn't like work was terrible or anything. By all accounts, life was pretty fine at the time. It just felt as though I'd completely lost my desire to do golf and I'd woken up in the middle of somewhere I didn't want to be. I had a strong desire to go home and pull weeds from my mulch beds--which doesn't seem normal, LOL. 

 

Anyone go through something similar? 

 

 

[Ferguson]

 

https://www.millenniallifecounseling.com/

 

Work with Liz.   

 

[dashanks]

I don't think I have the disease to your extent, but I totally understand what you are talking about.  I have often asked myself why this game means so much to me and occupies such a large percentage of my consciousness.  It's just a game, right?  It shouldn't be so important.  But it is like a drug to many of us.  Is there anything in the world that feels better or is more gratifying than a well-struck golf shot?  It is absolutely addicting.    

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

Why do I keep going back after the pitiful ups and downs between the good and the "I have no f****** idea what I'm doing?"

It must be addicting because why would I keep going back? 😄

[vandyfan]

I see it from your side, more so in that I spend a lot of time on this board and looking forward to playing golf in ways that I don't look forward to many other things in my life. As I get older, less things "get me going" or excited so maybe golf has taken all of that up for me. I could definitely see a world where if I kept getting better I would start ducking out of work more often to go play and then eventually it becomes this "either play golf or go to work" which sounds insane as I type it. 

 

I think about my golf swing and certain golf holes and certain equipment experiments ALL THE TIME. It is wild. 

[dashanks]

2 hours ago, Mikey_HACKilroy said:

Why do I keep going back after the pitiful ups and downs between the good and the "I have no f****** idea what I'm doing?"

It must be addicting because why would I keep going back? 😄

I don't know about you, but I keep going back because I think I will be able to figure it (the game) out.   So I can see how this addiction would be way worse for a low handicap player like the OP.  He would rightfully be a lot closer to the belief that he could actually figure out the game.   Rightfully, but not realistically.   Nobody can figure out the game.    When I say game, I mean the swing, essentially.  As a guy hovering at a two-digit handicap, I would say that the percentage of time that you hit the ball solidly is as much of an indicator of a person's talent as their handicap is.    The short game is where the money is made, of course, but I tend to judge people's ability by how they execute full shots.   I know there are others who think the same way because people were often incredulous over the miserable score I shot and only remembered my majestic drives or approaches.  I could hit some of the most beautiful shots you ever experienced while I was putting up an 87.

[acemandrake]

You are not your score.

[Dan Drake]

When you are listening to your boss, who is giving you important information that you need to accomplish your job correctly, but you catch yourself thinking about what grind/loft/shaft combination you are going to get on your next gap wedge (that you don't REALLY need, but are going to buy anyway cuz reasons).  

 

Yeah, I've got the "'itis" as well.  

 

Fortunately, and this is very much by design, my boss (and my boss's boss) is a PGA member, so he has at least some general understanding of my affliction.......

[Barfolomew]

On 10/22/2023 at 9:20 AM, MelloYello said:

 It just felt as though I'd completely lost my desire to do golf and I'd woken up in the middle of somewhere I didn't want to be.

 

You need a break is all..... prob just burned out on the repetition of it all.  Are ya lookin for something at the end of the rainbow cause there's nothing there for amateurs.... its all about just enjoying being out there.... I really like playin without keeping score just working on shots chillin out.... friends are crackheads bout keeping score, they caught in the web lol

 

I took 20 years off lol..... enjoyed coming back and playin a lot with friends getting game good enough to compete with local good players like yourself but there's no door prize waiting for ya and found tourneys to be the most boring way to play because everyone is so serious no talkin or joking around and slooooow play for what

[naj959]

Put off marriage, children and even made career choices based on my desire to play and practice. Bit of regret now and I'm re-prioroitizing.  Balance and discipline are key. 

[jomatty]

I play at least 9 every single morning before work, year round.  It started as something that I was doing because Covid had me down and it was positive for my mental health.  Now it is possibly the opposite.  Most morning I still enjoy it but sometimes it starts to get to me.  Especially when my play effects my mood off of the course.  That seems so stupid I’m embarrassed to admit it…

Mostly golf is still fun though and fills a competitive part of my life that was missing when I stopped playing baseball and softball.  I like the minutiae of it and the equipment aspect.  Always something to work on (or buy) to try to get better.  Other days I know I care too much and feel like I need to take a step back.

TLDR; no you are not alone

[AlohaPineapple]

yes, it's very real.  don't ruin something great in your life by going overboard.  had an online buddy who I looked up to when I was a junior golfer, who was quite active on the forums, that ended up quitting altogether.  I find his last post very insightful as I look inwards on my own life, seeking to find the right balance, as I have a very addictive personality myself too.

 

@DemolitionMan if you're reading this, cheers, still fondly remember your e46 M3 and trying out rare tour issue/JDM clubs at mariner's point

Edited October 23, 2023 by AlohaPineapple

[hardestcoregolfer]

I appreciate this topic. I am actually a recovering addict and alcoholic. I have been clean for over ten years and got into golf early in my recovery (in my early 30s). Golf is definitely an addiction for me, but it also has helped me keep away a much more dangerous addiction. There are so many things about the sport that lend itself to addictive personalities.

Edited October 23, 2023 by hardestcoregolfer

[Shilgy]

10 minutes ago, hardestcoregolfer said:

I appreciate this topic. I am actually a recovering addict and alcoholic. I have been clean for over ten years and got into golf early in my recovery (in my early 30s). Golf is definitely an addiction for me, but it also has helped me keep away a much more dangerous addiction. There are so many things about the sport that lend itself to addictive personalities.

Congrats man…40years sober for me.  I never put the two addictions together like that but my timeline coincides as well.  Probably the combination of being sober and having the funds to golf instead of carouse at night.

[dashanks]

Good point for the OP.   We're all addicted to something.  Golf is much less dangerous than most.

[getitdaily]

If I didn't practice and play then I'd be less active. I take my sons with me often enough that it's good bonding time and they get out of the house.

 

The time on here is just to pass some time; whether on a meaningless work call, resting after a set during my workout, or chilling on the couch after the kids and wife have gone to bed. 

 

I overdue it sometimes, but I still get plenty of other key needed stuff in. It also really helped that I bought a launch monitor and setup a net in my backyard for long game. I don't have to plan around family events to get swing work in much anymore.  Done with a session in the time it took to drive to and from range. 

 

Putting green going in in a other year or 2. 

[zonadub]

Golf is a jealous and unforgiving mistress.

… arranged my work schedule so I can play at least 9 holes after work any day that I want

… gave up drinking, smoking, late night carousing.

….yep, spend too much time playing, watching, reading, buying golf

… too many drivers, putters, iron sets

… for example, today was a playoff between the Paradym and the TSi3

… but, as dashsanks said, golf is much less dangerous than most

 

… gave up competitive golf, now just recreational and don’t always keep score

… moved up to the white tees, but still occasionally play the blues or greens for a change of scenery

… always walk, even at 68 years old

 

sorry, got off track a bit there

[2bGood]

10 hours ago, acemandrake said:

You are not your score.

What is insane is my happy score is only 3 or 4 stroke lower than my upset score.

[jomatty]

12 hours ago, hardestcoregolfer said:

I appreciate this topic. I am actually a recovering addict and alcoholic. I have been clean for over ten years and got into golf early in my recovery (in my early 30s). Golf is definitely an addiction for me, but it also has helped me keep away a much more dangerous addiction. There are so many things about the sport that lend itself to addictive personalities.

22 years clean.  Those of us with addictive personalities can go overboard on anything!  Golf certainly does lend itself to addictive behaviousr.

[launcher]

On 10/22/2023 at 12:20 PM, MelloYello said:

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I get it. We're all golf addicts... 

 

...but seriously. Many of us take it home with us so-to-speak. We live with it 24/7. We let it take over our sense of who we are. We're angry at ourselves for investing so much time regardless of whether we play well. When we succeed there's very little besides meaningless pride and when we don't, it means we're horrible people. It's like anything else: food, alcohol, tv, YouTube, forums like this, etc. Addiction is real and you recognize it when you stop to think, 'Wow, everything I do, think, purchase, etc. is somehow tied to golf.' 

 

My only answer has been to quit for awhile, take time away and return later when it's less of an issue. Is there an answer? Maybe not? 1st world problem, I guess. That's even more embarrassing, LOL. 

 

I just hate the idea that I have to schedule huge gaps in my year because at my core, I'm not in control and will completely lose faith. It seems like I can predict that at some point I'll just feel empty and downright ashamed of even swinging a club. It's hit me really hard lately. It's crazy but I can only describe the numbness as though I feel like golf is ethically wrong or something.

 

A couple weeks ago during a 2-day tournament I showed up on that 2nd day and just felt like such a loser for even being there. Like, I hated myself for the idea of being a golfer in that moment. I could barely swing at all. It just felt wrong. I had no motivation and actually felt like I'd rather be anywhere else. The idea of golf just seemed so stupid and pointless in that moment. And honestly, it wasn't like work was terrible or anything. By all accounts, life was pretty fine at the time. It just felt as though I'd completely lost my desire to do golf and I'd woken up in the middle of somewhere I didn't want to be. I had a strong desire to go home and pull weeds from my mulch beds--which doesn't seem normal, LOL. 

 

Anyone go through something similar? 

 

 

I think every avid golfer or golf fanatic can relate to your post in one way or  another. There has been times when I felt that golf was getting somehow controlling of my life. There was a time when I used it as a barometer for life in general. If I played well, then my day was going to be great sort of thing. 

 

In your case, it seems in your case you're harboring some kind of guilt for being a golf addict. Like you could be doing something far more productive or of value than playing golf. I'm not sure or any kind of expert or professing to be, but it seems to me that you need to just reset a little. If you're obligations are being met with your job, family, marriage etc. then you shouldn't feel guilty about playing golf, or buying golf equipment. You need to do things for yourself so you can be better at all the other stuff. 

 

I finally got to the point, (comes with age), where golf was just the fun hobby that it should be. Ironically, even though I don't care about scores and only play once a week, I actually enjoy it more than I used to. Hope you figure it out, and I'm sure you will. 

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

It's not an addiction until you start missing important events in your life to go play golf and start lying to people about what you're doing in order to go play golf.

😄

[Giocatore4]

That’s the crazy thing about golf. Everything it right there in front of you, and in our minds it’s a system where you see yourself really playing well, then see yourself really not playing well, and it doesn’t make sense. I typically go through months where I hit balls every day, and then my numbers start getting worse and I take a couple weeks off, and just putt and get back to it. Wild game. 

[vandyfan]

10 hours ago, 2bGood said:

What is insane is my happy score is only 3 or 4 stroke lower than my upset score.

Same here. If I shoot 74 I am happy, if I shoot 78 I am like "WTF happened?"

[Hammer_Hands]

I've come to understand that golf is just like anything else that the bible calls an "idol".  My belief is that we are made to worship our creator. But when something else takes that place, our lives will begin to get out of order and we will feel the result of that.  

 

(I know we are not supposed to debate religion and I'm not trying to do that.  Just sharing what is helpful for me in response to a question about addiction.  Would be happy to discuss more with anyone outside this forum, such as through PM)

[dfeldss]

I can definitely relate. I love playing as much as anything (i'm still on here), but I actually stepped back from the game and haven't hit a ball since July.

 

I was in a "the more i play, the worse i get" funk and I shot a 101 back in July and said I'm stepping back. Just wasn't fun. Wasn't out there getting mad, throwing clubs etc., it was just a huge bummer. 

 

I'm not sure when I'll go play again. I haven't even had a desire to go hit balls because even picking up a club around the house i can feel that I've still got this weird thing in my swing that i can't shake. 

 

I'll be back eventually, but i have to say, it's been somewhat liberating just totally stepping away

Edited October 24, 2023 by dfeldss

[RoyalMustang]

Some people are just wired to constantly improve and be challenged; that's what is addicting to me. There is always something in this sport that we can address. We raise our game in one area and suddenly another aspect isn't keeping pace. 

 

That is my thing with golf: I'm always working on something and rarely just "go play". I have fun but it's purposeful fun. If I ever stop getting better, I'll probably be bored and move on to another sport. It's always been that way for me with whatever endeavor I get into whether athletics or something else. When I lived in the mountains and skied 50 days a year, I got just as much satisfaction spending 2 hours on a intermediate groomed run and working on my turn as I did from skiing more challenging terrain. Balance, initiation, countering, managing edge and rebound pressure; I wanted to execute a really good ski turn. Most people just want to go and ski (and hack their way through a turn). Getting down in once piece doesn't make someone a good skier. The payoff was that I eventually became a really good skier and passed the litmus test of an expert: West Face at Squaw, zipper line, top to bottom without stopping. I couldn't have done that had I not spent a ton of time working on technique over the seasons. When studying for the GMAT for grad school, it was the same way. I took a practice test early on, bombed, and said "I'm going to figure this out". 200+ hours of studying later, I was able to score a 730. Most people don't even know or care what the GMAT is but for me, it was a personal point of pride to commit myself to getting a 95th percentile score.  

 

A drive to succeed can look a lot like compulsion, but what's the alternative? Sitting on a couch for 25 hours a week, watching TV? People don't see vegging out at compulsive and yet look at the time commitment to do so! 

 

If you aren't enjoying the process or the sport however, you can always take a break. I eventually did that with skiing: Once I had achieved a pretty high level and then wasn't able to spend 50 days a year on the hill, I pretty much stopped. I didn't want to be a struggling weekend warrior. Being on the hill 5 or 10 days a year, always sore and always out of sorts doesn't appeal to me. 

 

 

[RoyalMustang]

11 hours ago, zonadub said:

Golf is a jealous and unforgiving mistress.

… arranged my work schedule so I can play at least 9 holes after work any day that I want

… gave up drinking, smoking, late night carousing.

….yep, spend too much time playing, watching, reading, buying golf

… too many drivers, putters, iron sets

… for example, today was a playoff between the Paradym and the TSi3

… but, as dashsanks said, golf is much less dangerous than most

 

… gave up competitive golf, now just recreational and don’t always keep score

… moved up to the white tees, but still occasionally play the blues or greens for a change of scenery

… always walk, even at 68 years old

 

sorry, got off track a bit there

 

At least when guys like us walk, it's the exercise we would otherwise need! It's just under 4 miles for our front 9 and I play in 90 minutes. If I were just walking, I'd do it in around 62. So really, golf is only an additional 28 minutes added into the exercise I already would commit to! 

[seis]

The 3 to 4 strokes difference determining a perceived good round versus bad round is so relevant. I shot a 50 46 yesterday in warm but very windy conditions here in Chicagoland and came away from it thinking what a s****y round. Then I think I was golfing in a polo and shorts with a good friend in 80 plus temps , what was so bad about that? Especially considering I average 45 for nine holes and my handicap has dropped to 15. Goofy right? That is what golf does to you. I turn 70 next year and it’s time to get over the fact that golf should be a fun hobby instead of an addiction. End of rant…

[ucmike11]

My relationship with golf has changed over the years.

 

I started by being just happy to get out with friends and hack it around. Then, I needed new grips, and that led me down the equipment rabbit hole. I found GolfWRX and suddenly i had new irons, driver, wedges and putter.  But a bad round would mean getting back on and trying to find a new club...because that would fix everything.  Then, I started taking lessons, got a package of them, practiced 2-3 times a week and was playing 9 holes after work and 18 on the weekend.  I got caught in a loop of never actually getting better, and getting more frustrated/anxious on the golf course.

 

I went to Bandon on a golf trip, and the first day had a blowup, my swing fell apart. I was pissed about how much money I was spending to be unhappy.  After the round, we grabbed a few beers and I just sat and realized golf is supposed to be enjoyable, and if I want to do that, I needed to change everything about my attitude.  We went back out to walk another 18, and I just experienced the ocean, the course design, the conversation with my group, and suddenly I was back.

 

A few years later, I've found my happy medium: an hour or two on friday hitting in my golf simulator, and 18 holes on the weekend with friends.  I do still try to fix swing issues, and keep a loose score. But a bad shot or day doesn't get me all worked up anymore.  I get my new club fix by watching Youtube golf videos a few times a week.  No more after work 9 holes, or grinding on the range or the putting green.

[dropkicked]

"Too much of anything makes you an addict"

 

 

Edited October 25, 2023 by dropkicked