Golfing with women who aren't your spouse?

[Bomber_11]

I received an invitation to go golfing with our former real estate agent this week (bought a house with her help about 2 months ago). Strictly on a professional basis. She's a member at a nice course I've been wanting to try, so when she offered I gladly accepted.

 

Then I got to thinking about it, and although there are no "sneaky" intentions on my part - my wife could see it otherwise.

 

I'm strongly considering going, and just not telling her. It's harmless, and I know she'd overreact.

 

What would you guys do?

[w6racing]

invite your wife and make it a "threesome" It might work out in the best possible way!!

[NJpatbee]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

[Badgergolfer2]

You need to tell your wife. If you have no intentions, you have nothing to hide. If you dont tell her and she finds out, its only going to cause problems for you and its going to make her think you had intentions because you hid it from her.

If you tell her, shes gets upset and tells you not to go, then you dont go. Is a round of golf at a nice course really worth creating problems in your marriage?

[cardoustie]

tell your wife and go

[Bomber_11]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

 

0% chance she's checking this site

[gripandrip]

All I can offer is that not telling her is not a good option. If you think she would over react to you telling her, just wait until she finds out.

 

Give her the lowdown. Nice course you have been wanting to play, and you have an opportunity. Good luck.

[Sixcat]

I don't know you, your wife nor the lady who invited you but my initial reaction is, if it's so "harmless", why not tell your wife? I would never accept such an invitation without first discussing it with my wife but that's me. Hiding it leaves the impression of not being so "harmless" and would likely lead to a lot of unnecessary issues down the road.

 

My opinion, let the real estate agent know you accepted hastily, without first discussing it with your wife. Then discuss it with your wife openly. By already accepted without consulting your wife beforehand, you have already placed yourself in an awkward position. Hard to put toothpaste back into the tube.

 

Best of luck!

[Z1ggy16]

Get a new/better wife? jk

 

Seriously though, if you deal with a gf or wife who can't handle you being near other females, then you pretty much had this coming. Been there, done that, no thanks.

[RICKYBOBBY]

Why would she offer two months later? I don't know, Im not saying she has any intentions but that seems odd. And to me the new course thing is not a good excuse to go. Courses are courses unless she has access to Pebble, or Augusta or something. I don't really see any big benefit to going, whereas the negative effects are evident.

[GolfNuts4]

If your wife plays, the Real Estate lady should include her as well. I assume you both bought the house. If your wife does not play, I would tell her you got an invite to play the Real Estate person's club. No big deal, maybe your wife can join you two for a drink after. I don't think it is a big deal at all. I have been invited by a few ladies that I have worked with to play their clubs. My wife did not care, it's just golf and I am sure she wants to thank you for your business. I am sure she made some good money off your sale!

[RayGorman]

Did the wife get along with said agent? Why not invite the wife to ride along if everyone gets along. It could lead to other business or contacts while doing the Clubhouse thing before or after.

[Matt J]

Agent is following up to make sure you are happy with the transaction and will refer her to friends and family. Jealous behavior is circular, withholding something like a round of golf with a professional contact of the other gender is playing into the behavior. You need to pick the right time and facilitate some logical open communication.

[NJpatbee]

It's a can of worms. A couple of considerations: Does your wife think the agent is an attractive woman? Do you think the agent is hot? Not knowing your personal situation, but if you bought the house recently didn't your wife also buy the house from her? Why not take both of you to dinner?

 

I would tell your wife and if she shows the slightest irritation the round of golf would not be worth it.

[S.J.]

You need to tell your wife. If you have no intentions, you have nothing to hide. If you dont tell her and she finds out, its only going to cause problems for you and its going to make her think you had intentions because you hid it from her.

If you tell her, shes gets upset and tells you not to go, then you dont go. Is a round of golf at a nice course really worth creating problems in your marriage?

Always tell her. That way if you real estate agent does try something funny, your wife will back you up. Ever seen Obsessed? Don't do that.

[justasgood]

By golf, did you mean sex?

[Bomber_11]

It's a can of worms. A couple of considerations: Does your wife think the agent is an attractive woman? Do you think the agent is hot? Not knowing your personal situation, but if you bought the house recently didn't your wife also buy the house from her? Why not take both of you to dinner?

 

I would tell your wife and if she shows the slightest irritation the round of golf would not be worth it.

 

Yes she does think the agent is an attractive woman, and indeed she is an attractive woman. She's married though, much like I am - so it's clearly a professional setting and no ill intentions are involved.

 

I guess the golf thing probably stems from the fact that throughout our home-buying process, golf is something the agent and I commonly talked about.

[gretch]

Is a round of golf at a nice course really worth creating problems in your marriage?

 

Just how sexy of a course are we talking here?

 

 

But seriously, tell the wife of the invite and say you would like to go. There is not another reasonable option.

[GrAvEL_eXpReSs]

Enjoy sleeping on the couch.

[jusme]

Get a new/better wife? jk

 

Seriously though, if you deal with a gf or wife who can't handle you being near other females, then you pretty much had this coming. Been there, done that, no thanks.

 

Here here!! It should never be an issue and if it is you have bigger problems. Tell her and play. Your not asking to play.....I hope

[RecidivistGOLFER]

Enjoy the first three holes, then go home

 

Seriously though, going and NOT telling your wife is the worst possible move. Personally I'd pass as no single round of golf is worth even a hint of marital issues. BUT if you're really trying to decide ask yourself:

 

How bad do I want to go?

How insecure is my wife?

This realtor... hot or ugly? (It matters)

Is there a professional reason (trading referrals, e.g.)?

 

No matter what, tell your wife. Otherwise you look like you've got something to hide.

[S.J.]

I don't think that Bomber 11 is worried about his wife saying yes to golf. Bomber is a grown man that doesn't need to ask to play golf. He wants to know how to handle the situation with the agent. It is not his wife's fault...

[jacot23]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

 

0% chance she's checking this site

 

There's always a chance. If this happened to go south I'm positive her lawyer would go back and find this thread.

 

Tell your wife. If she says no don't go. Why take a chance at all.

[S.J.]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

 

0% chance she's checking this site

 

There's always a chance. If this happened to go south I'm positive her lawyer would go back and find this thread.

 

Tell your wife. If she says no don't go. Why take a chance at all.

His wife should not say no. If she says no, there is a real problem.

[jacot23]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

 

0% chance she's checking this site

 

There's always a chance. If this happened to go south I'm positive her lawyer would go back and find this thread.

 

Tell your wife. If she says no don't go. Why take a chance at all.

His wife should not say no. If she says no, there is a real problem.

 

Oh, I agree. But he has to let it be known. Imagine if someone else sees him golfing with another woman and reports back to his wife who had no idea. That is going to raise suspicion in my feeble thinking.

[cardoustie]

Problems:

 

1. Hot real estate chick

2. Chicks dig the long ball

[S.J.]

You do realize that this site is open to the general public including your wife?

 

0% chance she's checking this site

 

There's always a chance. If this happened to go south I'm positive her lawyer would go back and find this thread.

 

Tell your wife. If she says no don't go. Why take a chance at all.

His wife should not say no. If she says no, there is a real problem.

 

Oh, I agree. But he has to let it be known. Imagine if someone else sees him golfing with another woman and reports back to his wife who had no idea. That is going to raise suspicion in my feeble thinking.

100% tell her. I made a comment saying that he should tell her incase the agent tries something funny. Hell, I would record it even

[DavePelz4]

The female real estate agent is probably already on GolfWRX and has a desire to see a real man hit a 210 yard 7 iron. Her husband is probably on another site and can only manage 150 with said 7 iron.

 

OK, seriously, if roles were reversed, would you be OK if a handsome man, like MTL Jeff, asked your wife to golf but didn't invite you? If the answer to that is yes, and if your bride would indeed have issues with you golfing with said real estate agent, then you might need to learn to trust each other a bit more.

[BogeyBrian]

What does she look like? I assume your asking because she is attractive....

 

Never mind, you said she was

[mwkbmw]

Get in the hole!!!