"How much did that cost"

[Thrillhouse]

So this seems to come up enough I thought it was worth asking, is it rude to ask someone how much something cost? I'm talking about things like strangers asking you about something like your car, your watch, your shoes, your country club membership, your house, your putter, whatever.

 

I really don't like it and think it's really rude, is it just me? What do you guys think?

[MtlJeff]

It's case by case for me. Sometimes i don't mind it really depends on who is asking and what i think their motives are

 

For example, i have had a few people ask me how much my car cost, but i think it's mostly because they just don't know the model very well and are genuinely curious. It's also the type of thing they could estimate very easily by just going online so i have no reason not to tell them

 

Other stuff, like someone asking me how much i spent on my wife's ring or something, unless your my best friend, that stuff i wouldn't like

[chickenpotpie]

I generally don't care if someone asks, whatever their intentions might be. That said, to Jeff's point, I'm not asking that question to anyone but my closest friends and only when I have some genuine interest in acquiring that item myself.

 

In that vein, I wouldn't ask anyone what they make salary-wise, but if someone asks me, I wouldn't care to tell them. Why they need to know, who the hell knows....but whatever.

[airjammer]

Yeah it kinda depends on the subject matter and the tone. If people have the impression you spend all your money that you have and then you complain about being broke and then go "how much did that cost?" That is just rude and they need to mind their own business unless you borrowed money from them and haven't paid them back.

 

Things that people are actually intrigued by and might want to purchase for themselves,to me that is a little different. Either way it really doesn't bother me too much because most things are easily looked up on the internet. Even most people's biggest asset they buy, a house, is put up on the internet for everyone to see.

[dan360]

If it's someone I know, not that big of a deal. I tend to barter and end up with weird stuff sometimes and the money trail associated with the purchase is equally as absurd, so the questions are more out of amusement than anything.

 

A stranger........left to assume they're trying to get me in a position where I won't see the blindside attack coming and I am on alert.

[golfandfishing]

A stranger? Not getting an answer, likely not even getting an acknowledgement that I heard them no matter the subject.

 

A buddy on the range wanting to know how much my R-90 cost was weird recently because he thought I picked it up at Goodwill or something and thought it would have been a buck or three. When I told him around $75 he almost fell off the cart. I bought it in 1993.

[MtlJeff]

An interesting list would be "what question about money would offend you the most?"

 

I would think these two would be near the top

 

1) "How much did you spend on your engagement ring"

2) "What is your salary"

 

Car and house might be rude, but i find these things are very easy to guesstimate. Cars are definitely easy, houses if you know the area and general timeframe they bought it's also pretty easy....I mean i've told a bunch of people how much my car cost and how much i paid for my condo. It's pretty close to public knowledge.

 

I don't have a ton of really high end stuff. I have some nice suits or what-not but I don't care if people know what they cost. Usually i tell them because i'm so excited i found a deal somewhere LOL

 

So i think engagement ring and salary are the top 2.....

 

I've told a few very close friends what i spent on my wife's ring, only because they were going to propose. And there is only one person in the world who knows my salary (outside my boss) and that is my wife.

[PZero]

i have had a few people ask me how much my car cost, but i think it's mostly because they just don't know the model very well and are genuinely curious

 

Do you have an Alfa 4C or something?

[scomac2002]

How much did that cost is always a legitimate question. Society has deemed discussions of a financial nature are rude, simply because there is an assumption that a judgement is being made and being judged is what is at the crux of the uncomfortableness of this line of questioning. It is no different than questions regarding sex or religion that also typically fall under the taboo list until they aren't. Strange that society has become a lot more comfortable discussing sex, so there may still be hope to bring financial questions into a more acceptable line of discourse. That way, we bring out into the open financial matters which leads to a much higher level of knowledge amongst the population in general which will lead to better decision making. There's a certain segment of society that wants to keep people uninformed, so this notion of rudeness continues to be propagated.

[mjen43]

How much did that cost is always a legitimate question. Society has deemed discussions of a financial nature are rude, simply because there is an assumption that a judgement is being made and being judged is what is at the crux of the uncomfortableness of this line of questioning. It is no different than questions regarding sex or religion that also typically fall under the taboo list until they aren't. Strange that society has become a lot more comfortable discussing sex, so there may still be hope to bring financial questions into a more acceptable line of discourse. That way, we bring out into the open financial matters which leads to a much higher level of knowledge amongst the population in general which will lead to better decision making. There's a certain segment of society that wants to keep people uninformed, so this notion of rudeness continues to be propagated.

 

Agreed. I especially think this is true in regards to job salary. If nobody knows how much others make, there is no ability to understand the market rate. How would anybody accurately estimate the value of their skills without comparing it to others?

[SixtySomePing]

Maybe if you're telling a story about something which involves an item of yours, and they in turn started thinking about cost of it, then it might be pretty normal for them to inquire. Since you initiated it, and got their curiosity up, they just pictured themselves in that situation. On the other hand, if a stranger just out of the blue sees something you have and asks "How much did that cost?", and you don't even know them, than I think that's a little intrusive of them.

[Wriggles]

Don't really care if someone asks me what an item costs. I'll usually just tell them and forget it. Depending on the person asking, I have deflated or inflated the price for their benefit. But, mostly, I'm truthful.

 

As far as salary or other really important stuff, it's rude to ask. So, the inflated or deflated price is in order.

[GHIN n Juice]

It really is situational. I get asked about my car and my irons occasionally and I give people a straight answer. Both are relatively rare so I understand why people ask.

 

I can also understand questions about salary, houses, etc if the person is truly interested. Maybe they are in the same field or actively looking to buy a house in the same price range. If someone is knowledgeable about the topic they can probably guess pretty accurately anyway.

[MtlJeff]

i have had a few people ask me how much my car cost, but i think it's mostly because they just don't know the model very well and are genuinely curious

 

Do you have an Alfa 4C or something?

 

No not that weird a car....I have a Buick Encore. You don't see a ton of them on the road in Canada, when i bought it a few people i know asked me what it was, a few asked what it cost when they sat in it

[glk]

a study revealed that people are more willing to discuss their sex lives with a stranger than their salary. 7 times more likely. We live in a weird world.

http://www.makingsenseofcents.com/2017/06/talking-about-money.html

[bscinstnct]

I tell people,

 

If you have to ask...

[Nuggets]

If I want to ask someone how much something costs I start it with "if you don't mind telling me?" because usually its something I might want to buy too!

 

But I hate it when people come up to me and ask without saying that or go "that looks expensive" or "how much fuel does that thing use, must cost you a fortune"

 

And if the latter they get the answer "why do you care....I'm the one fuelling it"

[dan360]

My primary occupation is with a signatory to the IUOE contract so can't really hide my wages from anyone who knows how to use the internet or make a phone call to the hall.

 

Only bought a ring once.....it was expensive. Luckily she gave it back --- cheater's guilt I call it. Bought in Minneapolis, sold to a jeweler in San Francisco for a small profit. (So if anyone cares, I made $155 on the ring. :) )

 

Anyone who knows how to use the interwebz or make a phone call to the county can figure out how much I paid for my house using the street address.

 

I don't buy my cars & trucks & boats & bikes brand new, so those numbers aren't super easy to figure out, but anyone who knows me knows the story behind the purchase is better than the price point, usually....

 

My golf clubs I either pay way too much for, or get screamin' deals on. Same with my fishing/hunting/camping/hiking supplies.

 

Really about the only thing I'd be hesitant to admit the price to is the hooker or the blow, but since I've got friends in low places, those are usually comp'd anyways...........

[MattTheTaff]

The Taff is comfortable enough in his own skin to tell someone the price of his belongings and is not afraid to ask a woman her age.

 

The Taff likes older women... on the brown side of ripe.

[mbs_59]

If I want to ask someone how much something costs I start it with "if you don't mind telling me?" because usually its something I might want to buy too!

 

But I hate it when people come up to me and ask without saying that or go "that looks expensive" or "how much fuel does that thing use, must cost you a fortune"

 

And if the latter they get the answer "why do you care....I'm the one fuelling it"

 

Totally agree, if its because someone is genuinely interested in buying whatever it is, that's fine but if it's made to be a shot at my personal finance skills then that's out of line.

[Thrillhouse]

good stuff guys, lots of interesting positions on this subject.

[glk]

Just go with J P Morgan on this one - if you have to ask then you probably can't afford it.

[Imp]

I always go back to my favorite movie line... "you can't afford it, pal." From The Fast & The Furious (1). (And you got the internet on that little phone of yours? Look it up.)

 

On a more serious level, I size them up after that and see if they press or not. If they joke it off, then I give them a range. If it's "whoa, you're a cheap bastxxx" kind of look, I follow up with another joke of some sort. "It pulls in the chicks, you'll be surprised."

 

But this is just as bad as "so what do you do for work." I *hate* that question. I came here to play golf, not to talk about work. I've had people either try to associate with the whole "oh yeah? My best friends cousins boyfriend...." or "hows that pay?" Dude, no. Stop. I can't help you in your needs. Here's my card. Call me at the office and I'll have someone else get in touch with you to help you if you really need it. But I'm just a cog in the machine.

 

--kC

[dan360]

I'll gladly tell people how much it pays to be a journeyman heavy equipment/power plant mechanic under a union contract.

 

There are plenty of jobs like these to fill and more youngsters should know you can live in a nice house and drive a nice car being blue collar. :)

[prsgtrman]

ill ask friends what they paid for small ticket items other than that ill google it if i am really interested, and it is never because i want to know what they have spent on an item rather im interested enough to purchase something similar so would want to know if it is something i can afford.

[hammy83]

I couldn't care less. but i also drive a hyundai, dont wear a watch, my shoes are usually worn sandals or loafers, my house is nice but I dont have people over and no one asks about my putter when it so old I have to start calculating inflation.

When someone asks I usually tell them the truth. The bank owns it, or not sure... I put it on my credit card. No one asks about the car though.

 

***edited for IMP :)

[Imp]

 

--kC

[MattTheTaff]

In my experience it either falls into maybe two categories;

 

1) the guy is genuinely interested and thinking about buying some sweet a** toys for himself (usually punctuated with "that's awesome, where did you get that?")

 

2) the guy is sizing you up ("how can a shmendrick like him aford something like that? Why can't I have something like that?")

 

Guy no2 usually has issues with himself. Which is not your fault or your problem.

 

 

 

[One_Putt_Blunder]

Kinda related but not really

 

Back in my bar days my group of single guy friends all had a back story prepped in the event of striking a conversation up with ladies at the bar turned into an interview session of them sizing us up with the what do you drive, where do you work, where do you live questions. I'll preface that buy saying these came out way too early in the conversation like the first 3 questions. When that happened we went into this made up back story about how we worked at a low end fast food joint in a part of town that had more mobile homes than permanent. We had been there for 6 months and were hoping to get a key to the store soon. We save up our $ and go out once a month for a night out in the trendy Old Town Scottsdale. The results were 50/50 half the girls would be disgusted they wasted 5 minutes of their time talking to "broke guys" the other half generally did not care and turned out to be fun people not hung up on preconceived thoughts of how much money we had. After a little bit of conversation we would tell them the truth and most would find it hysterical and totally understand why we would do that.

[MattTheTaff]

Kinda related but not really

 

Back in my bar days my group of single guy friends all had a back story prepped in the event of striking a conversation up with ladies at the bar turned into an interview session of them sizing us up with the what do you drive, where do you work, where do you live questions. I'll preface that buy saying these came out way too early in the conversation like the first 3 questions. When that happened we went into this made up back story about how we worked at a low end fast food joint in a part of town that had more mobile homes than permanent. We had been there for 6 months and were hoping to get a key to the store soon. We save up our $ and go out once a month for a night out in the trendy Old Town Scottsdale. The results were 50/50 half the girls would be disgusted they wasted 5 minutes of their time talking to "broke guys" the other half generally did not care and turned out to be fun people not hung up on preconceived thoughts of how much money we had. After a little bit of conversation we would tell them the truth and most would find it hysterical and totally understand why we would do that.

 

Good man. I often do the same.

 

 

"Whaddya mean your soon-to-be ex wife is in jail and you live in your sisters basement?"