What etiquette fail really grinds your gears ?

[smashdn]

14 minutes ago, Denny100 said:

 

I dont even know what Morton's is but if Morton's isnt a golf course then I wouldnt be wearing a golf hat given that im not at golf. Given that ive just come off a golf course in golf clothes and I happen to be wearing a hat, I dont see why its that big a deal to some people the hat HAS to be removed.

 

Ill remove my hat too, my point is the silly overblown reaction to someone who might go in with the hat on, or just forget to take it off etc, in relation to other things that no one cares about. Like, no one cares if youve drank over the legal limit to get back into your car.....But wear a hat, all hell breaks loose.

 

I dont wear a hat much in public but if someone was wearing a hat, im really not bothered by it.

 

Morton's and Ruth's Chris are up-scale restaurants.  The clubhouses at many courses are on-par (pardon the pun) with that of a restaurant and not always akin to a pub or halfway house.  Sometimes the clubhouse is where the offices are and where club business is carried out.  Some clubs require a jacket.

 

It is just the culture of the club.  It isn't right or wrong, it is just what the membership wants.  And if you want membership into that club, you conform.  If you do not wish to conform, you move on to somewhere else.

[mshills]

I don't think anyone is arguing to rage against the machine and refuse to remove your hat.

 

I agree with both points.

 

First:  private club creates rules the members want, so when in Rome and all that.  No problem at all, your club, your rules, I will 100% follow, and thanks for the invite!

 

Second:  if the sight of someone, who's just finished playing a sport, coming into the clubhouse wearing of all things, a hat, gives you the vapors, maybe you ought to consider for a moment what is really worth being worked up about and what is not.

[Schulzmc]

28 minutes ago, Denny100 said:

my point is the silly overblown reaction to someone who might go in with the hat on, or just forget to take it off etc,

I get that and totally agree. 

 

My point is that often the reaction is not really about the hat, it’s more the disregard for the rules. For example, at our club the rule is hats must be off after 5pm. That’s when the bar area transitions from guys hanging out after golf to families and couples coming in for evening dining, etc. The other day at about 6pm three young gentlemen (the son of a member and his guests) came in and sat down after golf, all wearing hats. I walked past the table and gave them a quick, polite reminder to remove their hats. That was greeted with eye rolls and begrudging removal. About ten minutes later two of them had their hats back on. Did I really care about them wearing hats? Was it affecting me at all? No. But the attitude that the rules “don’t apply to me” and a lack of respect for the privilege to be playing at their father’s private country club drove me nuts. 

[Denny100]

1 minute ago, Schulzmc said:

I get that and totally agree. 

 

My point is that often the reaction is not really about the hat, it’s more the disregard for the rules. For example, at our club the rule is hats must be off after 5pm. That’s when the bar area transitions from guys hanging out after golf to families and couples coming in for evening dining, etc. The other day at about 6pm three young gentlemen (the son of a member and his guests) came in and sat down after golf, all wearing hats. I walked past the table and gave them a quick, polite reminder to remove their hats. That was greeted with eye rolls and begrudging removal. About ten minutes later two of them had their hats back on. Did I really care about them wearing hats? Was it affecting me at all? No. But the attitude that the rules “don’t apply to me” and a lack of respect for the privilege to be playing at their father’s private country club drove me nuts. 

 

That to be fair is a slightly more nuanced point where they were disregarding what you said after you politely reminded them, and to be fair I would agree with you in that situation their behaviour was uncalled for.

[sfleming]

so many excellent posts on this, some I've not experienced. It's strange but I guess where I generally play people don't get into sunflower seeds.

 

As for playing partners standing behind my line on the tee box, I've had lots and lots of people do that and I don't like that either, but I can agree that I've grown used to it. Maybe once or twice in my golf tenure I've had someone be able to help me by saying where a stray shot went. 

I attended this beginner's golf clinic for like 2 months back when I was around 10yrs old at the Tam O'Shanter in IL. Etiquette was a topic and the 'don't stand anywhere where a playing partner could possibly be bothered by you' was emphasized. I guess it stuck.

 

I also can reflect and say I've not been a great playing partner when reading some responses. Since I'm a walker I sometimes get the jump on the group by starting off the green a little early, especially if I think the last guy is just going to give himself the putt he's staring at and slowing considering addressing and rolling. I'll be better about it since it made people's list. Thanks those of you who mentioned that one. 

[jdl]

20 hours ago, jholz said:

I think we've covered on course behaviors pretty well here but what about the practice green?

 

I can't say I'm a big fan of "shag-bag" guy these days.

 

Shows up on a busy weekend morning, dumps out 50 balls, and then just rakes and hits from the same spot on the fringe. Covers half the green with his balls (often ball marks as well) and leaves a nice dirt patch for the rest of us to enjoy.

 

And the thing that really kills me... this has to be the least effective way to practice chipping. Just like the rake and slap guys out on the range.

Yeah, or the guy who wants to hit long chip/pitch shots from one side of the green to the other when it's crowded with people.

 

The other ones that crack me up are the guys who think it's a miniature golf course and putt from one hole to the next, then the next, etc. I usually just head to a hole away from the clubhouse/starter/etc and use it. Or just put a tee in the ground and putt to that.

[caniac6]

1 hour ago, Schulzmc said:

I get that and totally agree. 

 

My point is that often the reaction is not really about the hat, it’s more the disregard for the rules. For example, at our club the rule is hats must be off after 5pm. That’s when the bar area transitions from guys hanging out after golf to families and couples coming in for evening dining, etc. The other day at about 6pm three young gentlemen (the son of a member and his guests) came in and sat down after golf, all wearing hats. I walked past the table and gave them a quick, polite reminder to remove their hats. That was greeted with eye rolls and begrudging removal. About ten minutes later two of them had their hats back on. Did I really care about them wearing hats? Was it affecting me at all? No. But the attitude that the rules “don’t apply to me” and a lack of respect for the privilege to be playing at their father’s private country club drove me nuts. 

I let the people that make the rules enforce the rules. I would never tell anyone to remove their hat, even though I always remove mine. I go the the course to relax, and enjoy myself, and not to be the etiquette police.

[betarhoalphadelta]

1 hour ago, jdl said:

 

The other ones that crack me up are the guys who think it's a miniature golf course and putt from one hole to the next, then the next, etc. 

 

I do that, but I try to be very cognizant of where other people on the practice green are putting to so that I don't get in anyone's way doing so. If the putting green is really busy, I'll just not do it at all. 

 

For me, the idea is that putting three balls to one hole is pretty useless, because the 2nd and 3rd ball you've already gotten a read on line and speed, so what's the point of striking them? For me I want that putting green to force me to actually look at the putt, figure out whether it's uphill or downhill, breaking which direction and how far, lag it and then (no matter how good/bad the lag was) pressure myself to read and make the 2nd putt. You know, simulating exactly what I'll experience on every hole on the course, where I don't get three chances at every putt. 

[mshills]

1 hour ago, jdl said:

Yeah, or the guy who wants to hit long chip/pitch shots from one side of the green to the other when it's crowded with people.

 

The other ones that crack me up are the guys who think it's a miniature golf course and putt from one hole to the next, then the next, etc. I usually just head to a hole away from the clubhouse/starter/etc and use it. Or just put a tee in the ground and putt to that.

Got one even better.  Practice facility I used to frequent had a great short game area.  One green surrounded by bunkers, another green you could pitch to from fairway or rough lies, and a third -- huge putting green.  Putting green was always busy, as it was in great shape, and there were signs around it that said "No Chipping".

 

I saw the same guy there a few days in succession insist on practicing flop shots -- I am talking full swing Mickelson shots -- onto the busy putting green because "...the sign says no chipping.  This is not a chip, this is a flop shot!"  Unbelievable.

 

He finally sent one whistling by the wrong guy.  Words were exchanged (including the above gem), threats were made, and it escalated quickly until the GM came out and kicked both guys out.

[Long_Left]

6 hours ago, golfortennis said:

 

Yeah, I would also argue it's much more likely the person who lost will either a) get it back cause it should get turned in soon after they finish, or b)doesn't circle back a long way since the lost item is moving with the group.  So long as the person picking it up doesn't think they have a new wedge, it's all good in my book.

One of the best perks of being a lefty, maybe 2 others on the course would even consider keeping a club of mine. Plus the local fitter lets me "demo" stuff for a full year 🙂 

[Schulzmc]

1 hour ago, caniac6 said:

I let the people that make the rules enforce the rules. I would never tell anyone to remove their hat, even though I always remove mine. I go the the course to relax, and enjoy myself, and not to be the etiquette police.

I was the president of the club at the time. 

 

I do think some member self policing is helpful to staff so the burden of that doesn’t always fall to them. It is, after all, the members’ club.

 

[jdl]

1 hour ago, betarhoalphadelta said:

 

I do that, but I try to be very cognizant of where other people on the practice green are putting to so that I don't get in anyone's way doing so. If the putting green is really busy, I'll just not do it at all. 

 

For me, the idea is that putting three balls to one hole is pretty useless, because the 2nd and 3rd ball you've already gotten a read on line and speed, so what's the point of striking them? 

Well I was thinking of a pre-round warmup scenario which for me is 99% about figuring out the speed of the greens that day. I usually only take 1 ball when putting for the reasons you mention. 

 

What you're describing sounds more like practice which I might do before a round if I had some extra time but more likely would do at a different time. And probably on a green that wasn't very crowded. 😁

[betarhoalphadelta]

9 minutes ago, jdl said:

Well I was thinking of a pre-round warmup scenario which for me is 99% about figuring out the speed of the greens that day. I usually only take 1 ball when putting for the reasons you mention. 

 

What you're describing sounds more like practice which I might do before a round if I had some extra time but more likely would do at a different time. And probably on a green that wasn't very crowded. 😁

 

I actually do a version of that for practice, where it's a game that is scored based upon where you leave your lag (or make the first putt), and with severe penalty for 3-putting. 

 

For pre-round warmup, agreed that it's all about figuring out the speed of the greens (and making the second putt about prepping mentally for the pressure of having to make it). For me I just find it more effective to vary the types of putts based on different holes so I don't trick my brain into thinking that greens are slower or faster because what I thought was a flat putt was actually mildly uphill or downhill. 

[Long_Left]

1 hour ago, betarhoalphadelta said:

 

I do that, but I try to be very cognizant of where other people on the practice green are putting to so that I don't get in anyone's way doing so. If the putting green is really busy, I'll just not do it at all. 

 

For me, the idea is that putting three balls to one hole is pretty useless, because the 2nd and 3rd ball you've already gotten a read on line and speed, so what's the point of striking them? For me I want that putting green to force me to actually look at the putt, figure out whether it's uphill or downhill, breaking which direction and how far, lag it and then (no matter how good/bad the lag was) pressure myself to read and make the 2nd putt. You know, simulating exactly what I'll experience on every hole on the course, where I don't get three chances at every putt. 

It seems like there are unwritten rules at my home (public) course on this, there is a green near the range for putting and chipping practice, generally understood to be a free for all (mind your ankles and wave) and the only time I've seen conflict is with one older woman who will, inevitably, show up and walk directly into your line and start putting to the hole you're chipping to. Even if the green is otherwise empty and there are 10ish holes cut. She likes the fight and I've seen her do it 50+ times, so I just move to another hole and ignore her. She will occasionally say something to provoke you but I have my earbuds in 99% of the time here and pretend like I can't hear her. Armchair psychology is above my pay grade and my honey do list is long enough that I'm not getting down to "fight a grandma" until next month at least.

 

There is also a pair of greens between the shop and the first tee, a large putting green and a smaller chipping green with a bunker, but the "putting green" does not have any signage outlawing chipping. On this green, which can get quite crowded on tournament and weekend days, you find an open hole and putt (or chip if it's along the outside edge,) I've seen plenty of dirty looks here if someone is rolling 50 footers or long range chipping across 6 other people just trying to find the pace for the day.

 

I think it boils down to, don't "practice" outside of the practice area when it's crowded. If you like to warm up for a round by testing yourself under course conditions, you should also realize that this is likely to run counter to the "norm" and will draw various reactions from varied personalities. No skin off my back but plenty of guys I have played with would say something ugly, mostly old timers who want everyone to know exactly what they are thinking is "right" at any given moment.

 

Edit: took me too long to write this, and it's now redundant.

Edited June 27, 2023 by Long_Left
Two replies while writing this

[Louis_Posture]

On 6/24/2023 at 8:14 PM, sfleming said:

I experienced the one today that always gets me: Standing behind the hole while I'm putting. 

I think I learned when I was 10 that you don't stand anywhere that could be distracting to a playing partner.

Agreed; and the number of people who do this is astonishingly high.

[Louis_Posture]

31 minutes ago, Schulzmc said:

I was the president of the club at the time. 

 

 

 

You should have revoked their membership !

About 20 years ago Clint Eastwood was part of the group that built a private club in the Carmel Valley , named Tehama. One of the club's Rules was no cell phones. One day a member was on the putting green talking on a cell phone and Clint told him "no cell phones allowed". The member replied, "ok, I'll be off in a minute".  Clint went to the office and had a secretary prepare an initiation fee reimbursement check which he then handed to the member and told him "you're out".

[Bob Cat]

[thechief16]

I just want to second the post earlier in thread re: raking bunkers.  It's gotten exponentially worse since COVID.  It's like people got in the habit of not raking bunkers during the pandemic and never returned to the norm.  

[James the Hogan Fan]

30 minutes ago, Louis_Posture said:

 

You should have revoked their membership !

About 20 years ago Clint Eastwood was part of the group that built a private club in the Carmel Valley , named Tehama. One of the club's Rules was no cell phones. One day a member was on the putting green talking on a cell phone and Clint told him "no cell phones allowed". The member replied, "ok, I'll be off in a minute".  Clint went to the office and had a secretary prepare an initiation fee reimbursement check which he then handed to the member and told him "you're out".

 

A man's got to know his limitations...

[I'_rather_be_golfing]

I cant stand guys that flirt with cart girls for 10-15 minutes. 

[teedub21]

13 hours ago, Schulzmc said:

I was the president of the club at the time. 

 

I do think some member self policing is helpful to staff so the burden of that doesn’t always fall to them. It is, after all, the members’ club.

 

We belong to a “member owned” country club.  One of our rules is members are not to correct other members on breaches of rules.  Supposed to notify management.  

[Greenie]

22 hours ago, ND2005 said:

The playing the wrong ball guy gets me every time. 

 

This weekend I hit a really good second shot on a part 5, should have been just off the green on the right side. One of the other guys in my foursome is way ahead of me and hits his 3rd shot from the right side of the green about where I expected my ball to be. I get up there, my ball is nowhere to be found. I politely ask him if there's any chance he played the wrong ball and he denies it. We proceed to hunt all over for my ball and no dice. I give up and we go up to the green where...sure enough...he's playing my ball. I had to be like "I was hitting a titleist 1, ProV1 last year's model, with a scuff below the #1" before he admitted it. Never found out where his ball went. 

 

 I don't get people that play the wrong balls.

 

Last week in my foursome we came to a hard driving hole. You have a creek on the left and the fairway slopes to a pond on the right.The best shot is to flirt with the creek on the left and your ball will land and end up in the fairway. The guy riding with me hits his ball in the creek. The other two guys hit right center in the fairway and we see their balls roll right and into the pond. My drive lands on the left side and ends up center in the fairway. I ride to the creek to look for my riding partner's ball. After we finish with him I ride up and down the fairway and I can't find my ball. The other two guys are at the ponds edge looking for one of the guy's ball. I mention I can't find my ball and the one guy says were you playing a Titleist? I said yea and it is marked with my green star. He says oh I hit it and it turned out to be a great shot about 3ft by the pin. I didn't say anything but I had to think to myself. The guy plays Bridgestone. He tells me he hit a Titleist so he knew it wasn't a Bridgestone. He knew his ball went into the pond and didn't end up in the fairway and he hits a ball in the fairway. The whole thing didn't make sense to me.

[mshills]

Have to wonder what goes thru some people’s heads.
 

I’m all for keeping golf simple. See ball, hit ball! But c’mon man, this isn’t hard, see YOUR ball, hit YOUR ball. 

[smashdn]

23 hours ago, mshills said:

I don't think anyone is arguing to rage against the machine and refuse to remove your hat.

 

I agree with both points.

 

First:  private club creates rules the members want, so when in Rome and all that.  No problem at all, your club, your rules, I will 100% follow, and thanks for the invite!

 

Second:  if the sight of someone, who's just finished playing a sport, coming into the clubhouse wearing of all things, a hat, gives you the vapors, maybe you ought to consider for a moment what is really worth being worked up about and what is not.

 

I guess I should have clarified the situations that I have seen.  I can think of three private clubs that I have been through that have what we are calling a clubhouse, which is a restaurant, has a full service bar, offices, etc.  They also had "pro shops" wear you can purchase typical golf stuff and they also had drinks and maybe some snacks or hot dog roller.  Maybe the semantics are throwing off the discussion?

 

In the pro-shop there is no need to remove your hat and it fits the bill closer to what was being discussed with regards to coming off the course after having just played a round in the shape that we are when have played 18.  The clubhouse however, the expectation has been that you have taken a little time to get yourself cleaned up a shade (some places have had full locker rooms replete with showers) before going to dinner or sitting down for a meal.  White tablecloth type of atmosphere.

 

And I think it comes down to the atmosphere that the individual club is trying to provide, not really trying to keep from upsetting or offending someone with a hat.

[jholz]

3 hours ago, Greenie said:

 

 I don't get people that play the wrong balls.

 

Last week in my foursome we came to a hard driving hole. You have a creek on the left and the fairway slopes to a pond on the right.The best shot is to flirt with the creek on the left and your ball will land and end up in the fairway. The guy riding with me hits his ball in the creek. The other two guys hit right center in the fairway and we see their balls roll right and into the pond. My drive lands on the left side and ends up center in the fairway. I ride to the creek to look for my riding partner's ball. After we finish with him I ride up and down the fairway and I can't find my ball. The other two guys are at the ponds edge looking for one of the guy's ball. I mention I can't find my ball and the one guy says were you playing a Titleist? I said yea and it is marked with my green star. He says oh I hit it and it turned out to be a great shot about 3ft by the pin. I didn't say anything but I had to think to myself. The guy plays Bridgestone. He tells me he hit a Titleist so he knew it wasn't a Bridgestone. He knew his ball went into the pond and didn't end up in the fairway and he hits a ball in the fairway. The whole thing didn't make sense to me.

 

I'm assuming the guy who hit your ball had a towel hanging out of his back pocket.

[FuzzyDunlop69]

There are a handful of ticky tack things that annoy me - not raking traps, not filling divots, not repairing pitch marks, etc. - but the only thing that really sets me off is when one person seems to be allergic to pulling or tending the flagstick.

[Lobby]

Ok. This one bugs me

 

cart paths are plenty wide. Pretty much everywhere 

 

So why to people insist on driving off the cart path onto the grass when parking at greens and tee boxes?

[iacas]

3 minutes ago, Lobby said:

So why to people insist on driving off the cart path onto the grass when parking at greens and tee boxes?

 

Right? Like four feet closer. Right beside the cart path. It's not a roadway. You don't need to pull off to the side and park.

[st1800e]

3 hours ago, iacas said:

 

Right? Like four feet closer. Right beside the cart path. It's not a roadway. You don't need to pull off to the side and park.

 

3 hours ago, Lobby said:

Ok. This one bugs me

 

cart paths are plenty wide. Pretty much everywhere 

 

So why to people insist on driving off the cart path onto the grass when parking at greens and tee boxes?

Yes,  what's in their mind? as in pullover on the interstate?  I've mentioned this to a few, I get a very quizzical look, and they keep doing it..   Wow.   

[Greenie]

14 hours ago, Lobby said:

Ok. This one bugs me

 

cart paths are plenty wide. Pretty much everywhere 

 

So why to people insist on driving off the cart path onto the grass when parking at greens and tee boxes?

 

I like to think I practice good etiquette. 

 

I read a similar post in another thread about this around a month ago. Yes I am one of those that pulls off the cart path. Do I do it every time? No. On certain courses in certain places? Yes.

 

I never realized it was poor etiquette. Around here cart paths are only wide enough for one cart on many courses.

 

Since reading the other post and the general consensus being pulling off the cart path is a big no no I made it a point not to do it anymore.

 

I want to say though in all my years of pulling off the path I have never had anyone mention anything to me. In the month I have been staying on the path everywhere I have had two groups that has had an issue with me sitting on the cart path. Just yesterday I parked by the green and the way the course runs a foursome comes by from another hole and I hear thanks for blocking the cart path..a**hole. Pull off next time.

 

So I have to question myself to continue staying on the path or playing it by ear.