He is the most interesting WRXer in the world....

[SixtySomePing]

He was so good at Drive Chip and Putt that they made it a kid's contest so no adults would be embarrassed to lose to him.

[SixtySomePing]

He's so in tune with the course that he knows what lies under the pine needles [i]before[/i] he hits his ball

[markheardjr]

He can have either Scotty Cameron or Bob Bettinardi make him a Scottinardi upon request

They melted down Captain America's shield to make him a driver in hopes the metal would survive impact with his golf ball

He makes mandals look good

His grip size is referred to as Magnum and the cord used is barbed wire for extra tack.

Before he plays golf, he actually gets clearance from NASA

He got a $100 tip from the Dali Lama when he caddied in grade school

His money clip and belt are made of Chupacabra leather

He cheated on Tiger Woods

He is the head of a trinity with the R&A and USGA

His hands are so soft, he practices hitting real eggs out of bunkers

His divots are considered too risque for television

He never has a blind shot

His smash factor is infinity

He has a positive AoA and a negative launch angle.

[dan360]

When he swings the Mizuno Shaft Optimizer the readout says P-E-R-F-E-C-T

[Kenny Lee Puckett]

[quote name='TheCityGame' timestamp='1436193070' post='11895746']
He was in an airplane that lost cabin pressure. . .BEFORE he won the US Open.
[/quote]we want to boo you off the f@<$!ng stage for this one dude

[llewol007]

And when he is thirsty he drinks GolferAide.......... Stay thirsty my friends

[TServos]

For him, "drivable par four" is redundant.

[Apex93]

...If he was on Altered Course, people would watch it.


....But he would never go on Altered Course.

[DavePelz4]

After a round, Arnold Palmer orders his signature drink.

[Medic]

Squirrels and crows on the course put snacks into his cart.

He uses a trained cockroach to hold his ball up instead of a tee. The same one he has used since 72.

He knows Dave and Mtl and can confirm that they are really two separate people.

[bullrambler]

He plays to par on 7200 yard courses with gutta percha balls that he won in a one man bidding contest from the Ancient club. The balls are almost as old as he is, and he never marks them before the tournament.

[anth]

He's been banned from every driving range in the world for clearing the back fence...

... With his 1 iron

[kekoa]

He grinds don white's irons

[LittleLeftToRight]

Beyoncé liked it so much she put a ring on [i]his[/i] finger.

[SixtySomePing]

Just as the British Open is known as "The Open", he is known as... "The Golfer"

[DickieThon]

When playing with him on Sundays, Tiger Woods wears pink.

[roundersmitty]

[quote name='TheCityGame' timestamp='1436193070' post='11895746']He was in an airplane that lost cabin pressure. . .BEFORE he won the US Open.[/quote]

We all have times where we try to be funny and instead of being funny the joke turns out to be in VERY bad taste. This is one of those times....

[LordHobo]

Most courses ask him not to play from the bunkers as replacing all the sand after every swing is too costly.

He can shoot par while playing with literal shovels.

[LordHobo]

The US Army is studying his driver for potential use as an artillery weapon.

[LordHobo]

The FAA has asked him log flight plans for his tee shots, and that he not play courses near an airport.

[thug the bunny]

[quote name='MattTheTaff' timestamp='1435773904' post='11870332']
He taught Jack Pearsall to walk the line
[/quote]

Jack Pearsall uses first person when conversing with him.

[BobbyDPlaysGolf]

When qualifying for the U.S. Open the USGA asks him where he'd like to qualify

[pierso2]

He holds course records at golf courses that haven't even been designed yet

[dbleag]

* He advised Tiger NOT to change his swing (several versions ago).

* He advised Dustin Johnson to marry his baby mama.

* He advised Phil to quit gambling.

*He advised Rory to stop kicking-about.

*He advised Robert Streb to leave his putter at home for 2015.

*He told Charlie Wie (and others) to return to Stack & Tilt.

*He told Michelle Wie and Lydia Ko to dump Leadbetter.


... and no one listened.

[thug the bunny]

He actually won a match against PepperTurbo once.

[Reasonability]

Traffic stops for his speeding motorcade. Ladies in the crowd fight for the toss of his sweat stained glove. The golf gods fear him. He was once wrong - when he thought he had made a mistake - turned out he was right.

[SixtySomePing]

The Mars rover found one of his tee shots...

[pierso2]

He shot 18 once...on 27 holes
He won an 18 hole match play tournament on the first hole
He turned down a membership at Augusta
He carrys a 0 iron in his bag
He hits drives so towering that his driver has negative degrees of loft

[thug the bunny]

When he posts advice in the instruction forum, no one argues with him.

[Conrad1953]

He's never had a club adjusted. He just looks at them and they change,
if necessary.