Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[BobbyDPlaysGolf]

At the range I frequen often there is a green board about 90 yards out with a hole cut out in the middle of it that an alarm sets off when you get it in the hole. I cannot tell you how many times I have put it in that hole and heard people a few bays down jump up and down in excitement telling there friends they made it in.

[PumaAttack]

"you are such a jackass!!! look at that divot!!!"

That was a guy talking to himself after a bad shot... And there was plenty of where that came from. Dude was in his 60's or 70s too...

[PumaAttack]

[quote name='BobbyDPlaysGolf' timestamp='1443119523' post='12362562']
At the range I frequen often there is a green board about 90 yards out with a hole cut out in the middle of it that an alarm sets off when you get it in the hole. I cannot tell you how many times I have put it in that hole and heard people a few bays down jump up and down in excitement telling there friends they made it in.
[/quote]

Because you know for sure it wasn't them??

[gambit]

[quote name='Mah0027' timestamp='1442607490' post='12332264']Not on the range but I went out yesterday for a quick 9 as a single and another single joined me on the first tee. I knew from my first drive I was in trouble. I pulled my drive a bit and it drew in to the left rough and he says "Now we're gonna want to start that ball down the right side of the fairway and let it draw in to the middle, thats something we're going to work on today". He then proceeds to top his drive and it rolls down the middle. Doesn't say anything about his drive. The rest of the round, including putts, he critiques every shot and tells me about something "we" are going to keep working on. I humored him and kept it friendly. Turned out he was one of those "I got a lesson a couple days ago and now know everything about golf" guys.[/quote]

I played with a guy like that once about 4 years ago I was playing as a twosome with my brother in law. We get backed up so this couple asks if they can join. We say sure. Wife was nice as can be, but her husband was a moron. I was driving the ball exceptionally well this day. Only missed one fairway because it rolled out too far and everything was around 280. This guy was playing the tee box in front and was behind me by about 60 yards on every shot and proceeds to PULL OUT A BOOK telling me how I could drive the ball better! Later on in the round my BIL had about about a one foot putt. I tell him it's good so he picked up. This ****** says "I would've liked to see him putt that" after he's slowed us down so much that we are at least 2 holes behind the group in front of us.

[BobbyDPlaysGolf]

[quote name='PumaAttack' timestamp='1443120802' post='12362652'][quote name='BobbyDPlaysGolf' timestamp='1443119523' post='12362562']
At the range I frequen often there is a green board about 90 yards out with a hole cut out in the middle of it that an alarm sets off when you get it in the hole. I cannot tell you how many times I have put it in that hole and heard people a few bays down jump up and down in excitement telling there friends they made it in.
[/quote]

Because you know for sure it wasn't them??[/quote] yes because it was the shot I ht that went in.

[peachfuzz]

I was on the range at lunch today, and a guy was teaching his adult son how to swing the club. He said:

"That's what the golf swing is... it's supposed to feel uncomfortable..."

[PumaAttack]

[quote name='BobbyDPlaysGolf' timestamp='1443125531' post='12363002']
[quote name='PumaAttack' timestamp='1443120802' post='12362652'][quote name='BobbyDPlaysGolf' timestamp='1443119523' post='12362562']
At the range I frequen often there is a green board about 90 yards out with a hole cut out in the middle of it that an alarm sets off when you get it in the hole. I cannot tell you how many times I have put it in that hole and heard people a few bays down jump up and down in excitement telling there friends they made it in.
[/quote]

Because you know for sure it wasn't them??[/quote] yes because it was the shot I ht that went in.
[/quote]

Just like I am sure they think they are the ones who hit it. Did you ever think maybe two balls went in?

[gripandrip]

My favorite. "I'm just off today". Looking at his swing, I would guess he says that a lot.

[Smash Factors]

I'm hittin balls at the range with a guy I know. This girl shows up that he knows and we get to talkin about golf. Shes about 22 years old, thin as a rail and getting drunk. She finishes off a tall beer, goes to the bar and gets another. She shows me her new Titleist CB irons. Nice clubs. So were talking about the clubs, and In the midst of the conversation, she says that her goal for next year is to play in the womens US Open. Im thinkin "Wow!" this girl must be a real stick!

The guy says, "Yeah, shes workin on getting her handicap right now."

Me: "Oh, so you don't have your handicap yet?"
Her: "No. I'm getting one right now."
Me: "So, what do you think your hdc is?"
Her: "I'm not really sure."
Me: "Are you breaking 80 though?"
Her: "Yeah. I did it once."

Poor girl. You have to admire the good ole days of youth and dreams though.

[johnstitch]

These distance markers are wrong. I hit my "insert iron number" at least xxxxxxxx yards. Ah yes longer than Dustin Johnson are we sir??

[roundersmitty]

[quote name='johnstitch' timestamp='1443254173' post='12369650']These distance markers are wrong. I hit my "insert iron number" at least xxxxxxxx yards. Ah yes longer than Dustin Johnson are we sir??[/quote]

Ironically...the 3 ranges I go to do have the distances wrong. The distances are measured from the centre mat area. I always hit off grass from an angle and laser each sign and flag.

[talkingstick123123]

Not what I heard, but what I saw. This guy had splattered his golf balls throughout his area. There were balls in front, behind, on both sides, and he just kept swinging as hard as he could at each ball that was near him (not even a practice swing or any pause in between). He also had headphones on and was blasting maraiachi music. It was all very surreal lol.

[2putttom]

[quote name='talkingstick123123' timestamp='1443277745' post='12370344']
Not what I heard, but what I saw. This guy had splattered his golf balls throughout his area. There were balls in front, behind, on both sides, and he just kept swinging as hard as he could at each ball that was near him (not even a practice swing or any pause in between). He also had headphones on and was blasting maraiachi music. It was all very surreal lol.
[/quote]Hey.. do you live in Santa Rosa?

[awil]

Heard on the course yesterday as I played through 2 other members

How far did you hit that drove ? 320-330

Actually sir 270-280 ish

What tees did you hit from
The back set .
I just don't get it my laser says I only hit mine 225 . I know I hit it 270 or so

Proceeded to play through and forget the interaction

[Petunia Sprinkle]

Ridiculous swing advice given to little kids when "try to hit the ball this time" would suffice.

[jpru2001]

[quote name='roundersmitty' timestamp='1443275817' post='12370246']
[quote name='johnstitch' timestamp='1443254173' post='12369650']These distance markers are wrong. I hit my "insert iron number" at least xxxxxxxx yards. Ah yes longer than Dustin Johnson are we sir??[/quote]

Ironically...the 3 ranges I go to do have the distances wrong. The distances are measured from the centre mat area. I always hit off grass from an angle and laser each sign and flag.
[/quote]


honestly about every range I go to is wrong...typically 7-12 yards off.

[Krt22]

You guys call yourself golfwrx members? I have a yardage book for each range I attend with correct distances depending on which stall I am in and where the ropes are laid.

[Bushwood Country Club]

[quote name='johnstitch' timestamp='1443254173' post='12369650']
These distance markers are wrong. I hit my "insert iron number" at least xxxxxxxx yards. Ah yes longer than Dustin Johnson are we sir??
[/quote] WREXR=LONGER THAN DJ

[Huskypride28]

I was at the range with my father one time and there was a guy hitting next to us who clearly was a beginner but doing ok for himself for the most part. At our range, the stall dividers are about 3 feet tall and some people use them to lean their clubs against, which this guy did. Well after about 30 minutes I hear this loud crash. I don't know what this guy did but the next thing I see are clubs flying everywhere and the ball he hit is bouncing down the path behind us. My dad and I turn around and look at the guy and you could see he was completely embarrassed. He sheepishly looks at us and says "well, got all of that one." My dad and I instantly burst out laughing.

[jpking17]

[quote name='Petunia Sprinkle' timestamp='1443285916' post='12370808']
Ridiculous swing advice given to little kids when "try to hit the ball this time" would suffice.
[/quote] Not golf related...but same way of thinking...I helped coach a t-ball team once and our only rule was...catch the ball and throw it to 1st...just keep it simple...in the middle of a game with runners on 1st and 2nd I hear a parent breaking down the 6 possibe outcomes of the next batter with their child who was playing 3B and what the kid should do in each circumstance...ball gets hit to kid....kid stands there looking around confused.

[jbar411]

Heard a foreign guy talking to the pro about his son, who is warming up for lessons, say he locks his 12y.o. son in his room with a rubiks cube and he wont let him out until its done...

[roundersmitty]

[quote name='jbar411' timestamp='1443842631' post='12403812']Heard a foreign guy talking to the pro about his son, who is warming up for lessons, say he locks his 12y.o. son in his room with a rubiks cube and he wont let him out until its done...[/quote]

Hopefully at 12 he is smart like I was....took the stickers off and made the Rubik's cube complete

[Strömsborg]

Today at the driving range, 3 degrees below freezing, old lady told old man how boring it was to practice indoors.
- You can't see where your ball ends up!

Credit to them for practice outside in the winter, but I saw her shots and not a single one would have reached the net in that indoor hall I heard them mention. 40 yards carry with a driver.

[Anaheim944]

My buddy after skipping an entire large bucket of balls down the range

"Oh wait, let me get one of your balls. I just realized what im doing wrong"..

[chrismikayla]

One guy telling the other to "get up under the ball" to lift his irons and stop topping them.

[golfwb]

In Colorado before the second day at the club champ.It's hot so I say to my fellow competitor while warming up, "Man i'm really regretting my pant's decision".
He promptly reply's, "I'm just getting used to it". Made me laugh out loud at him.

[2putttom]

" son your jumpier than a fart in a skillet. Just relax and swing easy."

[caniac6]

Not words, just sound. We have an old guy at our club that blows his nose a lot, and it sounds between a fog horn and a train whistle. I swear, I wouldn't be suprise to see the top of his head go about 10 feet high. When he is on the range, he always seems to blast a few at the top of my backswing.

[deejaid]

About 25 years ago I was at a junior golf camp (14 at the time) and while most of the kids had some cavity backs and early metal woods I had a set pieced together from my father and grandfathers old clubs in the barn. Persimmon driver, old blade irons.

After the driving instruction we were all on the range practicing the lesson. Right when one of the instructors is walking down the line next to me, the insert of my old persimmon driver went flying out down the range 30 or so yards. He saw what happened and called for all the kids to stop as I had to go out and get the insert of my club. It was embarrassing enough to have some old clubs while the kids with money had all new sets, now I had them all laughing as I jogged out to pick up my insert.

Wasn't funniest for me, but it's the most laughter I ever heard on the range

[psapitch13]

[quote name='HafeYo' timestamp='1438623765' post='12070442']
No lie.

Once heard a guy tear one on the range mid swing. Stunk like hell and his buddy made note of by saying "Whoa, did you just sh*t yourself bud?". He replied simply, "yes".

shuffled off to the locker room.

Does this count?
[/quote]

The winner.